Breaking down stereotypes
If I asked you to close your eyes and picture a truck driver, what gender of person comes to your mind? Male right? Why is that? Why is that we are conditioned in a way that whenever we say the occupation truck driver we think of such a specific gender and not all genders? I am no phycologist and I have not research and studied this for years, I am just a university student who is sitting at his room writing this article. However, I can say what I feel the reason is. The answer comes in two parts, stereotypes and experience. These two are closely linked together, because without one you can’t have the other, for example, stereotypes are formed from what society’s experience is and vice versa.
There has been a lot of talk lately about women and the stereotypes that face them every day. I can’t say that they don’t have them because it is clear that they do. However, have you ever considered that males have stereotypes as well? That’s less talked about. For example, men when we are young we are constantly told that boys don’t cry, crying is for girls, boys have to be strong and brave and don’t show weakness. What is the problem with showing weakness? Is any form of sadness seen as weakness? Of course not.
I personally face male stereotypes almost every day of my life. Why? Because, I am a male who is studying primary education. This is a stereotype because men aren’t considered to be sensitive and good with children, as it is as seen as being ‘soft’. Now this to a lot of men is the greatest insult that you could ever say to them, ‘how dare you question my masculinity’. However, for me that is the greatest compliment that you could ever give to me because that’s part of what I want to do for a job.
My start on this crazy journey started when I was 16. Everyone in my year had taken a test where there was a variety of different multiple choice questions that were based around what you wanted to do for a job and what you liked as hobbies. From the answers that you gave they were able to give you a list of jobs that you would be good at. One of mine was a primary teacher, and when my teacher read out my results a light bulb set off inside my head when she said that. I didn’t know why it went off at the time, but I became interested in exploring it.
I got my first work experience after I finished year 11 in a reception class and a kindergarten class. I remember the first moment I walked into the kindergarten classroom I was standing awkwardly at the door looking for children to interact with. At the corner of my eye I saw these two sisters playing together in the corner of the room. They were playing with a puzzle. I decided to go and interact with them. I sat down with them. They looked at me like I was from space, which was understandable because here was this man who just suddenly appeared like the Gene from Aladdin and now he wants to interact with them. I remember I put one of the pieces in the puzzle and said ‘oh look what has happened’ expecting some sort of response … nothing. They continued to stare. I made another attempt to get them to respond. Nothing. For ten minutes I was sat with them they just stared at me blankly. I thought to myself ‘Oh crap what in the hell have I got myself into?’ Thankfully, another child saw my awkward attempts at interaction and pulled me over to look at what he had built.
After my week of work experience I was pretty confident that I enjoyed what I was doing, and I had some hints that I was popular with the children. For example, at the end of the week one of the children asked me if I would like to go on holiday with him. Although I did want to go on holiday, I decided at the time that it would be a bit out of my duties. However, I was not prepared for what was happening without me knowing.
When I had finished the week my mother brought in a cake to say thank you for having me. As she was walking out to the car she heard one of the teachers come up to her with tears in her eyes. My mother trusted this teacher to tell her truth about how I had done at the placement. The teacher explained that she had just had a meeting with a parent who is at the school and they got onto talking about me because I share a condition with the parent’s children. As soon at the parent recognised that it was me who they were talking about she suddenly said “Oh thank god, my daughters are in his class and they won’t shut up about him” … it was those two little girls who had done nothing but stare at me.
To this day, I do not know the name of that mother who said that, but wherever you are, thank you. I wouldn’t be sitting here at university studying what I love if it were not for you, because at the time I wasn’t sure if I was any good or anything, and that story helped me realise that I was making an impact to somebody’s life and that is the greatest compliment that a person could every receive.
Over the course of my studies in childcare I have been lucky to have many experiences that have shown me the impact that I was having on children.
One example is a child I met while I was doing my level 3 in BETC in Children’s Learning, Play and Development. I was told by somebody else that worked in the nursery that this child had trouble with forming relationships with men and that the child had a fear of men, and to not be surprised if she came into the room and started crying when she saw me.
When the child did finally walk into the room to show the nursery practitioner a sticker that she had received from going to the potty she looked at me and she instantly took a step back. To all her credit she didn’t cry or scream she just became shy and didn’t go near me.
Whenever this happens I feel that it is best to let the child come to you instead of you going to the child, because it allows them to be in control of their own relationships. So, I went to interact with some of her friends in the class. By the end of the day this trick had worked and the child came up to me and sat next to me and said ‘You’re funny’. This not only marked the first words that she had ever said to me, but also the first time somebody had not sarcastically called me funny and actually meant it.
When the child’s mother walked into pick up the child the nursery practitioner introduced me to the mother and told her that her daughter had liked being in my company. Of which the mother responded with ‘oh that’s good she doesn’t usually interact with men’. Another one of the most heartwarming moments that have shown me the the importance of the role I have.
Whenever a child walks into my classroom that I am in and I’m told that they don’t have a male figure in their lives, a feeling that I have a barrier to break down to get to the child, and that I have to hold this male figure in their lives draws over me. I know that it is not my responsibility to hold a male figure in their lives because I am their teacher, however, that is the nature of who I am.
On the other hand, the satisfaction that I get when a child sees me as a role model for them is like no other feeling in the world, because that is just confirmation that I have done my job.
So, the message of this article is to do what you love. No matter how many stereotypes you have to break down and how many people’s toes you have to stand on to get to where you need to be. I can almost guarantee you that there is somebody out there who doesn’t like the fact that I am breaking down male stereotypes, “stereotypes are there for a reason, so that we know our place” in the words of a woman on the bus the other day. You are not always going to be liked for what you do, but in the words of Sir Ken Robinson “It is not what you do, it is who you are” (Robinson,2006). Break down enough stereotypes and one day you may find that somebody has benefited from what you did.
Take Rosa Parks. Did you think she thought she would spark the world in a notion of inclusion for forever when she sat on that bus and refused to move for the white lady? No, of course not. She wasn’t thinking about the impact that she would have on the world, she was doing what she thought was right.
Stay strong. Be yourself. Be brave. And, be kind, to others, but most importantly to yourself.
