A l e x a n d r o s

"I'm very stupid, I'm intelligent, I’m clumsy, I’m a coward, I’m funny. I’m witty, I’m a five year old and I’m a sixty year old, and I don’t want to let any of these things go." - Björk

[mikacentral]

[railroadsoftware]

why’d she resign

[laurbyboom]

couldnt handle the truth

[avant-gardevoir-old-deactivated]

[nostalgiaultra-deactivated20210]

You like putting pineapple on your pizza I hope you enjoy putting pineapples on your childrens graves because you’re WEAK your bloodline is WEAK and you will not survive the winter

[finalfantasyix]

ffix, queen brahne’s chambers

[shittyasmr]

kidzbop is gonna be like “my anaconda don’t want none unless u like fun, hun!!”

“oh my gosh. look at her heart!”

[karlcat]

it is a Scientifically Proven Fact that once a group of people become friends, the tendency to make really foolish decisions skyrockets…. and from this chaos…. the Mom Friend™ rises, ready to keep everyone alive, armed with exasperation and common sense in spades

[dirtypolygonconfessions]

[gahdamnpunk]

That pause 💀💀

[jovan]

me flirting: I don’t want you to die

[coolhotdad]

my perfect crime? I memorize the entirety of the macy’s store inventory. I then go on aliexpress.com and find exact replicas of every single purse in the store. I break in at 3am, and replace every purse with a cheaper version of the purse. I take my real purses home and open up an online store on the darknet featuring fake purses. I then sell these real purses as fake purses, making it so that when the feds catch on to my antics, they spend countless years trying to figure out who can replicate purses this well, and who is selling them. Soon an entire division of the FBI is dedicated to finding me and figuring out how my “fake” purses appear to be real. 45 years later they finally trace my ip address and break into my villa in texas and shoot me right in the leg when i attempt to flee. While this would normally not be a fatal wound, due to my constant devotion to my online fake real purse storefront i have suffered an iron deficiency for 35 years. My blood can’t clot and I start to bleed out. Turns out the woman who shot me was a girl who i made out with once in college, and she holds my dying body in her arms and asks me how my fake purses were so real. I spend the last moments of my fleeting life telling her about how every five years i break into a different Macy’s and replace all the purses, and that the purses I have been selling online for a severely discounted price were actually all real, and I have been doing this purely for the gag of it all. When my former college girlfriend gets home from work after rightfully murdering me for my crimes, she goes into her walk in closet, looks at the 13 gucci purses she owns, and realizes that they’re all fakes.

[youstoodmeupforayardsale-mo-blog]

this passed the bechdel test

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[fuks]

[iapislazuli]

in class

me: *smiles*

teacher: why u smiling

me: nothing

me (in my mind):

[wimberry-deactivated20150825]

which are u: wine mom, beer dad, or vodka aunt

[dizepm-deactivated20180217]

im an orange juice grandma

[baraworld]

If there are any Bara lovers left in Tumblr, please help me by filling out a very short survey about Bara for an investigation paper I’m working on! 

It’d be much appreciated! 💪💪💪

Survey can be found here!

[vgperson]

Miki Takamura moves into a house formerly owned by her aunt. Filled with mysteriously locked doors, the house has an oppressive air. And though wanting to use it to recuperate, strange things keep happening to her… Uri has released a remake of her second game, the horror exploration game Paranoiac. It revamps the graphics and layout, adds some new parts to the story, and makes the chase sequences significantly less obtuse and punishing. Even if there have been slight changes to the story, though, it is still that game. So be aware there are themes of mental illness and abuse.

[juliancallos]