1:When did you lose your virginity?
Valentines Day, first time for both of us.
2: Rough sex or soft sex?
3: Do you have any unusual kinks/fetishes?
Not too unusual. I have a strong fixation on getting my partners off however they like to be “gotten,” which has meant I’ve gotten extremely turned on by pretty much everything from missionary on satin sheets by candle light to medium-level D/s to “road head” to DD/lg. None of which are intrinsic turnons for me personally, but all of which have captured my undivided attention with partners.
In BDSM I think this is sometimes dismissed as being a “service top.” Screw them. It’s my kink.
I’m quite fond of almost but not quite getting caught.
4: Weirdest place you’ve had sex?
Under a desk in a living room while we were both delirious with the flu. (Maybe that’s more like the weirdest circumstance? On the alter in an old church. On a knife-edged alpine saddle on the Pacific divide somewhere in the North Cascade mountains, at least 10 and maybe 20 or more miles from the nearest road? At a house party in a friend’s parent’s bed while, it turned out, the friend and their parents were sort of politely waiting downstairs (for several hours!) for us to finish?
5: Favourite sex position?
This seriously depends on context! Missionary’s actually pretty cool (hey, fuck yeah vanilla!) It’s also pretty cool as a way to reconnect after playing something really intense (non-vanilla, fuck yeah too!) Any of the animal styles are great. (The term “doggie style” was coined by people who seriously disapproved.) There are some pretty wonderful half-spoon/half-scissors positions that... I’d have to post photos.
Might take less time to say what I don’t care for. Stunt positions like wheelbarrow and bow positions for instance.
6: Do you like to be dominant or submissive?
I’m definitely a top. Don’t have to be dominant though.
7: Have you ever had any one night stands?
Sure, they can be great although I’ve had far more “weekend stands.” Usually while traveling or at conferences. Never really been into the club/prettier-at-closing-time hookups.
8: Sex on the bed, couch or the floor?
Trick question? Nothing hotter than making out on a couch like teenagers. Nothing more comfortable than sex on a bed. And if you don’t end up on the floor barely remembering to kick the door shut every now and then you’re missing a treat.
9: Have you ever had sex in a public place?
10: Have you ever been caught masturbating?
Yes. Never the good kind of caught.
11: What does your favourite sexy underwear look like?
The emperor’s new lingerie (only tan lines) are my favorite. Simple cotton undies and tank top are great. Pretty much anything that fingers, hands, and other parts can easily be slipped into or under. I’m not a fan of restrictive clothes -- no matter how good a lover looks in them I want to be able to touch them.
12: How often do you have sex?
Varies way too much to say. Ranges from minutes to years between.
13: Is there anybody right now you’d like to have sex with?
Ahahahahah! Yes! Definitely. Absolutely.
14: Do you prefer giving or receiving oral sex?
I always preferred giving (hey, I’m a top!) But once I learned to let go and let someone else take care of me then... both are really, really nice. If I had to choose I’d say giving. But luckily I don’t think I’ll ever have to choose.
15: Most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you during sex?
The worst by about eleven miles was when we both thought the other wanted to but neither of us really did. And we kept trying, each sure the other was into it. Felt like shit when we ‘fessed up to each other. Don’t know about them but years later I still cringe when I think about it.
Any more I can’t say how much better things go when you communicate than when you don’t. “Get consent” is just step one -- we were both totally consenting and even more than willing! There’s just... more to it than that. Like, you know, enthusiasm!
T(hen)IL that bad sex isn’t actually better than no sex. :-)
16: A song you’d listen to during hard/rough/kinky sex?
Might sound weird, and maybe it’s because I was a musician, but music during sex totally distracts me.
17: A song you’d listen to during soft/slow/passionate sex?
18: Are you into dressing up for sex?
Yeah, it’s great! It’s funny but I might have dressed in a fine business suit more often for sex than for actual, you know, business! Definitely same with tuxedos! For roleplaying games with partners I’ve worn quite a few other things.
19: Would you prefer sex in the bath or sex in the shower?
I’m tall so it’s gotta be a pretty big bath, but big tubs are great. Showers are more fun for playing around before and after. (I love wrapping a partner in a big bath towel and carrying her out.)
20: If you could have sex with anyone right now, who would it be?
Sigh. Shouldn’t say. You/they might be reading this (blush!)
21: Have you ever had a threesome? If not, would you?
Yes. It was enough fun I’m glad I did, but not enough fun I’m really dying to do it again. With the right partners though, when we’re all in the right frame of mind, then yeah, I might do it again.
22: Do you/would you use sex toys?
Sure! They’re great. I’ve never understood that “aren’t I enough” thing some people get caught up in.
23: Have you ever sent someone a dirty text/picture?
Ahahahah! Almost every day for two or three years. Got a lot of followers, almost all of whom melted away when I stopped.
24: Would you have sex with your best friend?
25: Is there anything you do after sex? (for example, smoke, eat, drink)
It all depends. I’m big fan of getting up and bringing a partner warm washcloths and towels. A big fan of snuggle up and fall asleep in each other’s arms if it’s late enough? Getting up and making coffee/breakfast if we’ve been at it all night.
26: Something that will never fail to get you horny?
That moment you’re sure someone you’re interested in is... interested.
27: Early morning sex or late night sex?
28: Favourite body part on the opposite sex?
Breasts. Neck and shoulders. Face. Eyes. Tops of the thighs. Ass. Clitoral hood.
29: Favourite body part on the same sex?
30: Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find:
Tumblr and Reddit passwords.
31: Weirdest sexual act some has performed [or tried to perform] on/with you:
Someone wanted me to have sex with her again (the first time had been good) but wanted her boyfriend to be there and for me to go down on him and have him go down on. Gotta admit I thought about it for more than a week (the first time with her had been very, very good!!!) And it was one of those times when bisexuality was tres chic so I was feeling a lot of peer pressure anyway. I ultimately decided it really wasn’t for me and so I said no. Learned a lot about myself -- if I’d felt anything I’d certainly have gone for it. (Seriously, our first time was so incredibly fucking nice!) But I didn’t feel... anything about guys. Not grossed out. Not shocked or immoral. Just not into it.
Maybe that wasn’t weird, since lots of other people have done it and thoroughly enjoyed themselves. But it was a little weird to consent to something my heart really wasn’t into, and a little more weird to have felt so much pressure to.
32: Have you ever tasted yourself? [If no, would you?] [If yes, what did you think?]
Sure. My partners taste themselves when I kiss them. I’ve taste myself when a partner’s kissed me. (Doesn’t taste like much of anything, actually. Women taste much better.)
33: Is it ever okay to not use a condom:
Sure. It’s not always ok not to use a condom. But sometimes it’s fine.
34: A food that you would like to use during a sexual experience:
Anything that tastes good with people flavors. Not so much things like chocolate or strawberry that don’t go well with people flavors.
Had an awesome time with a partner who loved to play with vegetables. Had an incredible experience where she totally rang my chimes with the inner side of a warm peach skin while stopping every now and then to lick up the juices.
35: Worst possible time to get horny:
Standing in front of an audience that isn’t expecting you to get horny. Ugh!
36: Do you like it when your sexual partner moans?
Real moans yes. That stupid “porn star” repetitive high-pitched “uhhh, yeah, uuuh, yeah, ummhumm” business that started showing up everywhere in porn maybe 10-12 years ago is just a total clock block for me though, because I’m their goddamn partner, not an audience.
37: How much fapping is too much fapping:
When coming stops feeling good and starts feeling like licking a 9-volt battery. (Weird analogy but that’s the only way to describe the feeling.)
38: Best sexual complement you ever got:
39: Favorite foreplay activities:
Yikes! Too many choices. Going to stick with making out like teenagers on a couch. The kind where we’re still fully clothed and she comes while grinding against my thigh or cock? Wow that’s great!
40: What do you wear to bed?
41: When was the first time you masturbated:
I think I was in late middle school.
42: Do you have any nude/masturbating pictures/video of yourself?
43: Have you ever/when was the last time you had sex outside?
Last time was a few years ago.
44: Have/would you ever have sex in public?
Mmm, sex in semi-public spaces. I think it’s rude and maybe a little creepy to let people see you who haven’t consented to. But the risk of being seen or heard can be very hot.
45: Have/would you ever had a threesome?
46: What is one random object you’ve used to masturbate?
Never had much luck with objects. Tried a Tenga Egg once and that was nice. Tried a sleeve a couple of times. If I’m not with a partner then my hands work best.
47: Do you watch gay/lesbian porn? why/why not?
Not really. I’m actually really neutral about men so gay porn doesn’t do anything. And while I’m into women I’ve got enough lesbian and bi friends over the years to feel like leaving them to their own devices.
48: Do you like oral sex? (why/why not)
Yes. Daydreaming about going down on a girl is the earliest fantasy I can remember. It’s intimate, it delights all my senses, as a top I really love the sense of control, as a maker I really love creating that kind of pleasure for a someone.
It took me longer to appreciate receiving. Learned it talking afterwards with someone who felt the same way about going down on my as I did on her. Something just clicked, I learned to let go, and... yeah, now I really love when someone does oral on me too.
49: How do you feel about tattoos on someone you are interested in?
It’s a fashion decision more than anything essential. I almost became a tattoo artist (really) in my early 20s. I had potential and several friends in the alt-arts really encouraged me to go go for it. I didn’t care for it as much as I thought.
50: How would you feel about taking someones virginity?
Not as much fun, as fulfilling, nor anywhere as wonderful as 2,500 years of patriarchal blathering would lead you to believe. It’s nice to help someone with their first time, and I’ve done it maybe five or six times? But there’s a fuck of a lot more to intercourse than inserting tab A into slot B. It’s a lot more like partners dancing -- it’s so much better when you both know what you’re doing.
51: Is there any food you would NOT recommend using during a sexual encounter?
Not really. I’d steer clear of anything sweeter than light whipping cream. And be careful about using oils like butter with condoms. Avoid hot peppers, ginger, mint, or menthol unless you both know and agree exactly what you’re doing. (Nothing wrong with hot peppers if you’re used to it.)
52: Would you rather be a pornstar or a prostitute?
The question privileges one kind of sex work over another. Not cool.
Heh. Not industrial porn (see #36, above) but one of the nicest things about the combination of digital cameras and the internet is the way it lets people be themselves sexually.
54: Have you ever been called a freak? Why?
You mean a sexual freak? Yes. For being way too wild for some people. For being way too tame for others.
55: Do you feel comfortable going “commando”?
Since I believe actual commandos generally wear UnderArmor if not actual under armor and sicne I’m of Scottish descent I prefer to call it “going bagpipes.” And yes, very comfortable.
56: Would you have a problem with going down on someone if they hadn’t shaved their pubic hair?
Trick question? It’s like asking if you’d have a problem kissing someone with long hair that wasn’t tied back. Going down on someone with pubic hair isn’t that much different. You figure it out in just a couple of seconds.
I really like going down on someone who’s bare, but I don’t mind at all going down on someone who isn’t.
57: If you could give yourself head, would you?
Probably not.
59: Have you ever cheated on someone? (Why?)
Sigh. Yes. Really ashamed of myself too. It was years ago now and I still feel bad about it.
Years ago someone said cheating is changing the rules without telling the other person. Just one more way that communication’s really fucking important.
Oddly, I don’t much mind if someone’s cheated on me. Way more hurt by “emotional infidelity” than sexual.
60: If you were the other sex for a day, what are five things you would do?
Whatever a 6′4″ 200-pound woman would do I guess.
61: have you ever watched someone masturbate?
Yes! When you’re both into it it’s... amazing!
62: has anyone ever watched you masturbate?
Yes! When you’re both into it it’s... amazing!
63. Have you ever had an erection and someone noticed?
Ahahahaha! Really awful when the person who notices isn’t interested. Really, really nice when they are.
64. What is your method of masturbation? (ie. toys, clitorial, prostate)
Hand. Very typical.
65. What is your bra/penis size?
Perfectly average (statistically)
66. What is the strangest thing you have ever put up your vagina/anus?
A double-ended dildo. Didn’t think it was fair to ask a partner to take something in her ass if I wasn’t willing to try it myself. Not sure what the fuss is all about, actually. DIdn’t hurt. Didn’t feel particularly erotic or orgasmic either.
Still not a fair comparison. For my partner penetration came attached to the aforementioned 6′4″ 200-pounds of (potentially very excitable) man. For me? A dildo weighed 8 ounces or less.
67. When was the last time you masturbated?
68. When was the last time you had sex?
69. When was the last time you watched porn?
About two seconds before starting to answer all these questions. I mean, Tumblr!
70. Have you ever bought a sex toy? If so, which one did you buy last? First sex toy? If not, which one do you plan on buying when you do?
Yes. A couple for gifts for partners. A Tenga Egg and some kind of goofy silicon sleeve for me.
72. Which not-genital part of your body do you like being touched?
Hands. Forearms. Back of my neck. Face and lips.
73. Which genital part of your body do you like being touched?
74. Girls:Are you able to achieve orgasm just through breast stimulation?
75. Have you anonymously sent a sexual ask to someone on tumblr?
76. When was the last time you have had a wet dream?
I don’t know if I ever have. I’ve had really erotic dreams before, but ejaculated while asleep.
77. Which wet dream was your favorite?
78. Is there a friend you would willingly have sex with?
79. Is there a celebrity/character you would willingly have sex with?
Probably not. Maybe someone Tumblr or Reddit famous.
80. Favorite sexual position?
#5 spelled it “favourite.”
81. Do you like being called a slut or whore in bed?
No. Nor a “hot stud.”
I’ve called partners all sorts of things when it turns them on. And let them call me names too.
82. Are you into any BDSM?
About half the alphabet soup. Bondage, very much. Discipline, sometimes. Out and out sadism only for playful masochists. Masochism, not at all even if it turns a partner on -- too triggery from childhood experiences.
83. Have you ever wanted to have sex with someone but knew you couldn’t for any reason? Why?
Um, trick question? YES?!?!? There’s one person in particular I still long to have sex with and probably always will. And probably never shall.
But she’s scarcely the only one I’ve ever wanted to have sex with but knew I couldn’t.
84. Do you like dirty talk?
85. Are you loud or quiet during sex? Masturbation?
Usually quiet. For the first half dozen years I had sex, and the few years before that when I masturbated, getting caught was not an option. So not being caught (and therefore not being overheard) isn’t quite a fetish, but I still get a huge charge out of sex in semi-public places.
That said, it’s a lot of fun to just let myself groan into my partner’s neck or ear instead of trying to hold back. Actually especially when I’ve been trying to hold back.
By the way, “quiet” ≠ “dead silence.” One’s a little kinky. The other can be kind of creepy.
86. Have you ever been interrupted during sex or masturbation? Who/what?
Um. Yes? It happens. Duty calls sometimes and no matter how much it sucks you have to answer. A knock on the door. Kid needs a bandaid. Didn’t hang a sock on the door knob. The camera starts to droop because you didn’t tighten one of the tripod legs... :-)
87. What kind of porn do you like to watch?
The kind people make and post it for their own enjoyment, either because it makes them hot to be photographed or hot to know other people are seeing their photos.
88. Have you ever confessed to someone that you got an erection over them? What about masturbated to them?
89. Have you ever masturbated because your sexual partner wasn’t there when you needed them?
Because they weren’t there when I needed them? I’ve definitely masturbated on Skype with someone who was also masturbating because we couldn’t be together. But otherwise, no.
Masturbation and partner sex are categorically different for me. Different urges, different needs, different kinds of satisfaction. Never had sex so often I didn’t want to masturbate later. Never masturbated so much I didn’t want to have sex later.
90. Have you ever had a one night stand? Do you still keep in contact with them?
I’ve lost touch with some of the people I had relationships with. But I’m still at least Facebook friends with most of them. I’ve probably lost touch with as many former longer-term partners as brief ones.
91. Have you ever had a friends with benefits? Are they still beneficial?
Yes. When you’re really friends it’s wonderful. And when it’s really a benefit.
No one at the moment, though if I was better able to travel then yes, I think several might still be friends with benefits. Others, I don’t know any more. We’re still friends.
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