An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan “Jon” Sims | The Archivist
Characters: Jonathan “Jon” Sims | The Archivist, Martin Blackwood
Additional Tags: Chronic Pain, Chronic Migraines, Chronic Illness, Description of migraine pain and symptoms, self care issues, Self Image Issues, body issues, Weight Gain, Discussions of medications and treatments, TMA Body Positivity Day, soup as a love language, Tea as a love language, Rating for Language, No beta we kayak like Tim, Post-Canon, Location: Somewhere Else (The Magnus Archives), Married Martin Blackwood/Jonathan “Jon” Sims | The Archivist
Series: Part 3 of Jmart Week 2022
Summary:
Most days, Jon is grateful to have this opportunity to live a life, a normal mundane domestic life, with Martin. To have a non-eldritch existence, a body that doesn’t need fear and trauma to survive. To be fundamentally human again.
And then there are days like this, where he wishes he could have any other body instead, even the Archivist’s.
———————
For @jonmartinweek Day 2: Chronic Pain, I’ve finally finished my @tmabodypositivity day fic. Special shout-out to @probsnothawkeye, who’s fic about Jon having a headache from this morning was an extra bit of motivation for me to get this edited and put out today
[ID: A black-and-white traditional drawing of Martin Blackwood. Martin is a fat, Black, non-op trans man with a short beard, and long coily hair braided back along the scalp and fluffing out at the back. He wears glasses, an ace ring, and has a lot of body hair. He is shown wearing only boxers, and reclining on his side, propped up on one arm, with the other hand resting on his stomach. He grins with his eyes closed, and an arrow points to him that says “fully aware of how hot he is”. End ID.]
hello sorry for getting behind on those spotify art requests, I bring you an extremely hot guy as an apology
[Image Description: an uncoloured sketch of Michael Distortion from the magnus archives, with black lines on a warm grey background. It is a white nonbinary person in a binder and boxers with shoulder length, loose curly hair holding a striped cane with a round handle in its left hand and holding the other drawn up to its body. it is wearing knee high socks and has slight stubble on its chin. one of its eyes is replaced by a spiral pattern, and the other is half closed with long eyelashes. it is grinning and looking to the side./End ID]
@tmabodypositivity i hope it's okay to tag!!! i missed the day but ilove the event so much :} ehlers danlos syndrome michael.
I saw a tag for tma body positivity a while back, and I figured it was better late than never to put something out. Some notes under the cut to explain my design choices, but in summary, I believe in ginger Martin supremacy 😳💚
He’s transgender because that’s just what I do, I hit characters with my beam when I enter a fandom. He’s also pre-op because he’s just had consistently bigger problems to deal with at the archives
The tattoo is a small headcanon I have, related to ep 131!! It’s a small anchor with an eye design over his ribcage. Because, y’know, Martin was Jon’s anchor in the buried more than Jared’s rib stealing stunt, but they were still pining back then so I have to say it for them
Prentiss worm incident scars if you squint!! I also gave him stretch marks because he’s just a cool dude like that
This one’s projection, but I feel like he would’ve had a rough time as a teenager so I gave him self harm scars. They’re faded now, but these things are important to acknowledge in my view of body positivity. Some people have scars they can’t change; that’s okay
I love Martin he’s a ginger because I think he was just owed that swag
[ID: digital drawing of jon and martin from tma in lingerie. martin is a fat polish man with pale skin, short white curly hair, stubble, freckles covering his entire body as well as a few scars on his neck and back. he is wearing a rounded glass, orange colored cheek bites, matching lipstick, and a black top with lacing on the chest, as well as matching black pants that connect to thigh high stockings. there is a purple kiss mark on his cheek. he is looking confidently to the side, smiling, both arms raised as if thru comb through his own hair. the background is a single purple square Jon is a slim british indian person with a medium brown skin tone, long dark wavy hair with silver streaks, stubble, and a vast array of scars on their entire body. They are wearing a choker, as well as some purple-colored accessories, mainly a medusa piercing, as well as purple lipstick. for clothing he is wearing a top with lace connecting the top and bottom piece, the bottom also connecting to thigh high stockings, as well as to a half mesh skirt. in addition, he is wearing some long mesh gloves and a matching hat. they are looking to the side, smiling, their left arm resting on their hips and their right arm raised at an angle away from them. there is an orange lipstick mark on his cheek. the background is a single orange square. End ID]
smth about ace people confidently wearing stuff like lingerie is so personal actually.
Belated second piece I wanted to do for @tmabodypositivity day. Click for better quality.
[ID warm colored digital painting of Jon and Martin sleeping in a bed. Martin is a fat, Mexican-Polish non-op trans man with dark curly hair that has partially turned white. Jon is a British-Indian man with long greying hair and many scars, notably a stab wound on his center back. Jon lies on top of Martin, head resting on his chest. Martin is embracing Jon with one hand tangled in his hair. Both are shirtless and under a blanket. [End ID]
So sorry I'm late, but happy TMA Body Positivity Day! Cue Jon losing his entire mind in the background, they're gonna come kiss their bf in about 2 seconds
Thanks so much to @tmabodypositivity for hosting this event!
[ID: This is a drawing of two images of Martin Blackwood from the Magnus Archives. Martin is a fat Afro-Brazilian man with dark brown skin, freckles, and 4c textured hair. His hair is bleached white and shoulder length, and he has a mustache and chin stubble. He has dark brown eyes and body hair on his chest, stomach, arms, and legs, as well as stretch marks on his stomach and legs. He is also wearing round earrings and rectangular glasses. In the first drawing he has his right hand on his hip with a wedding and ace ring, and his belly is out as he smiles at someone off screen. He is wearing a pale blue teacup patterned underwear set. In the second image, he is stretching one arm behind his back and one of his legs is stretched out. His head is tilted back and he is winking at someone off-screen. He is wearing a mauve teacup patterned underwear set. The background is yellow right behind Martin that fades out to pinks and purples in a splatter like texture. End ID/]
Inspired by the "gaining weight as a sign of healing" posts going around a while ago and by how Martin can't let Jon go 10 minutes without a smooch (as he should!) Happy belated TMA body positivity day!!
Thank you all so much for making TMA Body Positivity Day such a enormous success and a huge thank you to everyone who shared body positive fanworks yesterday! All the fanworks were so lovely and beautiful (including the ones reblogged the week before the event!).
Despite the day being over, we plan to continue to reblog any works created for this event but are published late, or any fanworks that fit the theme of the day that are posted anytime in the future! The ultimate goal of this blog is to create a little archive (heh) of all body positive tma fanworks that you can drop by and enjoy at any time. If you want to make sure we’ll see it, continue to use the #tmabodypositivity tag! <3 And if there’s anything else you’d like to see this blog do in the future, please let us know by dropping us an ask!
[ID: A warm-toned digital drawing of Jon and Martin from the Magnus Archives, standing together on a beach. Martin has one arm around Jon’s shoulders and is making a peace sign with his free hand. Jon has one arm around Martin’s back and is holding a sun hat in his other hand. Martin is a fat white man wearing flower-patterned swim trunks and has a beach bag slung over his shoulder. Jon is a thin South Asian person with numerous scars, and is wearing a short wrap skirt. They are both smiling brightly. End ID]
a quick drawing of my martin for @tmabodypositivity !! :] I love this event so much it sparks so much joy <3
[IMAGE ID: A digital drawing of Martin Blackwood from The Magnus Archives. He is a fat post-op Thai man with brown freckled skin and curly black hair that has a gray streak in it. He has stretch marks, and his shoulder, forearm, and face is dotted with small scars. Another scar stretches across the middle of his throat. He is shirtless and wearing a gray pair of boxers with a red heart pattern and an ace ring. He has a salt and pepper goatee. He is sitting in front of an orange background posing with his left arm behind his head and supporting himself with his right. He is looking to the left with a soft smile and one eye closed. There are three white hearts to the left of his head. /End ID]
For @tmabodypositivity day! This is an exploration of post-canon Jon, wherein I project all of my issues onto the poor man lol. I’ve been plugging away at this snippet all day, but because it’s nano season, I’ve not got time to do the full fic I wanted. it’ll come out in December sometime, but I want to share something for today’s event
It’s important to note that the positivity in this snippet surrounds Jon appreciating and loving Martin’s body; the journey through the whole fic will bring us to appreciation for Jon’s body, but that’s a much longer story to tell. He’ll get there, though, I promise 💜
CW: chronic illness, chronic pain, chronic migraines, description of migraine pain and symptoms, self image issues, body image issues, rapid weight gain, discussions of medications and treatments, idk there might be more (sometimes it’s hard to think about what may trigger others when it’s your lived experience, so feel free to ask me to warn for something else)
———————
Most days, Jon is grateful to have this opportunity to live a life, a normal mundane domestic life, with Martin. To have a non-eldritch existence, a body that doesn’t need fear and trauma to survive. To be fundamentally human again.
And then there are days like this, where he wishes he could have any other body instead, even the Archivist’s.
A short fic with old!jmart for TMA Body Positivity. Discussion of weight and scars. @tmabodypositivity
Martin looked down fondly where Jon had fallen asleep on his lap halfway through the movie. Gone were the days when Jon could stay up all night working. Now, Martin was halfway impressed if he made it to 8 o’clock. Yawning, he reflected that he wasn’t much better. Two old men, set in their habits, who just wanted a quiet early night.
He shut off the TV, figuring that Jon wouldn’t want to miss the ending. They could watch the rest tomorrow. In the black screen, he could see the faint, blurred reflection of the two of them on the sofa, Jon happily using him as a pillow.
He supposed they made for quite a sight. He was wearing an old t-shirt that he’d had for at least thirty years, and at this point it was more holes than shirt. But no matter how worn and stretched out it was, it was far too comfortable to ever get rid of. Jon, who tended to always feel cold these days, was completely burritoed in a blanket that he’d spent the evening hogging. Even in his sleep, he was holding onto it as if Martin might dare commit the crime of trying to steal a small corner of it.
Martin smiled at the reflection in front of him. After ages of self-hatred, years of not understanding what Jon needed to hear to feel comfortable in his skin, finally Martin could look at the two of them and see nothing but how beautiful they both were.
He brushed the now completely gray hair out of Jon’s face with a hand now covered in wrinkles and the dark spots of age. Jon leaned into his touch without waking. He’d have to move him eventually — his back would hate him if he fell asleep like this — but for now, he could let Jon sleep.
Honestly, it was a bit of a miracle. There had been so many times that he was certain he was going to die, or that Jon was. Or that both of them were. But here they were, an apocalypse and a lifetime later, fully settled into a blissfully mundane existence. Being old felt like an accomplishment.
Gently, he ran his fingers over some of the exposed worm scars on Jon’s cheek. They were faded, but still visible enough to get the occasional stare from strangers.
Martin still had a lot of regrets, and he’d had a lot of time to think about them. If you asked him decades ago, he would have listed all the moments he might have been able to save the world. But now, if he were to rank them, all the times he failed to tell Jon what he needed to hear at his most vulnerable moments would be at the top of the list.
The scars were just one small example. For ages, Martin had hated Jon’s scars. Not because of any shallow or cruel reason. But every one of Jon’s scars represented some pain Jon had felt, some tragedy Martin had been unable to save him from. So, he’d seen reminders of the past that would never fade.
And so, there had been the moments when he’d assured Jon that he didn’t mind. That he was beautiful anyway. The times he’d said the scars didn’t matter, even though they did. He’d thought they’d been good words, comforting words. But they’d been wrong.
He got it now, rather too late (although Jon assured him it wasn’t.) That Jon needed every one of his scars to be kissed and treasured.To be told that he shouldn’t have to hide them for anyone’s comfort.
Now, he understood that when he told Jon how lovely he was, he couldn’t let there be an “anyway” or a “despite.” That there should never be a qualifier on that statement. Every mark Jon bore was part of him, so therefore it too was beautiful.
When Martin thought of the scars that Jon bore that were beneath his skin, his regrets grew even deeper. Jon’s experiences had marked him in many more ways than the physical. These scars included his need for statements, the way he had to regurgitate the horrors he’d seen, the way he was no longer quite human…
Martin knew what he thought he’d been saying in those cases. He thought he’d been saying “I hate that this is happening.” Or “I hate what’s been done to you.” Or even just “I’m frustrated with this situation.”
It had taken years of recovery in this new world for Jon to finally confess that what he had heard was “I don’t accept all of you. I hate these parts of you and wish they’d go away. I don’t acknowledge them as a real part of you, so it doesn’t matter if I reject them.”
Not for the first time, Martin’s heart had broken. He couldn’t fix the past, but he’d resolved to do better. Because there was nothing more important than letting Jon know he was loved.
It had taken him time to learn better words. To learn how to gently kiss every one of Jon’s scars while telling him how gorgeous he was. To tell him that nothing that had been done to him, no changes he’d gone through, either mental or physical, could make him any less perfect.
He grinned ruefully at his reflection and shook his head slightly. Getting to the point where he loved what was looking back at him had been a hell of a process. Because if showing Jon he loved and accepted him properly had been a challenge, learning to accept himself had at one time seemed like a pointless impossibility.
He’d never liked what he saw when he looked in the mirror. Not since childhood. He’d always seen his weight, his body that seemed to take up so much more space than it should. He’d spent years trying to make himself look smaller, less threatening. Less like a person who was taking up room they had to right to. He saw a body that often couldn’t keep up, couldn’t help when he needed it too. And then, thanks to Elias, he’d learned that the face staring back at him was that of his father. The man who’d abandoned him as a child without a second glance. It had taken years before he’d stopped thinking of that every time he saw his reflection.
And he’d often imagine that other things, hidden things, must be as clearly visible to everyone else as his face. It was no wonder that the invisibility the Lonely offered had been such a temptation. Because when he looked at himself, he’d see his own failures, surely as if they were written on his skin. Every time he’d failed to act. Every time he’d pushed people away and hurt them. The fact that something within him still occasionally needed space when that was the opposite of what Jon needed, and the fact that he still occasionally would say the most thoughtless things when he was irritated or frustrated.
But now, even though he still occasionally nursed old hurts or glared at his graying reflection, he’d found a sort of peace.
This was a body that had trekked through the apocalypse. It was a body that was good at cuddling and holding (even if this currently meant accepting that Jon was pressing his rather cold nose and hands into Martin’s slightly exposed stomach.) And it was a body that was still capable of picking up Jon and moving him to the bed, even if he really probably shouldn’t be doing that anymore at his age.
He was going to anyway. Until he physically couldn’t.
And Jon, his Jon, who had spent so much time being tormented body and soul, was beautiful. He wasn’t beautiful because of it. He wasn’t beautiful despite it. He simply was beautiful, inside and out. And every mark on his body was beautiful because it was a part of him.
Martin wondered what strangers would think if they could see them. Maybe they’d see the flab and the wrinkles. The way Jon’s hands shook a bit now, or the way Martin now needed to hold his glasses away from his face a bit in order to see. Maybe, they’d just focus on the scars. It didn’t matter.
Because he knew what he saw in that blurry reflection in front of him, and he knew that if he could take a picture, make a painting, project this image into the stars for all eternity —he would in a heartbeat.
Because despite - no, not despite. That word had no business in this conversation. Never despite.
Because with the signs of age and past torment. With the fact that both of them could be incurably grouchy old men. With every single scar, both the ones that could be seen and the ones they both bore inside their hearts.
Because with all of this… Martin knew there had never been a more beautiful sight. Because here they were, after everything. Still with the strength to hold each other. So every inch of both of them was perfect.
Martin must have been deeply lost in thought, because he completely failed to notice that Jon had woken up until he said, “Watching something good?” Jon’s eyes looked towards the blank screen that Martin had been engrossed in, then back over to him. He quirked an eyebrow in amusement.
“You know what, yeah,” Martin said, running his fingers through Jon’s hair. “I was.”
Then, groaning slightly as his back protested, he stood, cradling Jon in his arms. “Best view in the world.”
