whatever im into at the moment

THEY/THEM 21 AuDHD French (English speaker for fandom purposes) Christian (chill) Current obsessions : ASOIAF (books), The Silmarillion

[goosebasedcryptid]

[goosebasedcryptid]

corlys, alyn and tyland fighting in a naval battle in full plate armour is a certified 10/10 victarion moment, except they all have to survive for everything else to happen, unlike victarion who will 100% drown in slaver's bay before ever setting eyes on dany

what is dead may never die but rises again because it has plots to advance in a few episodes

[storm-of-feathers]

a severe thunderstorm warning that doesnt follow through is worse than orgasm denial

[goosebasedcryptid]

sometimes i just have to stop in my tracks and think about genna lannister for a while like damn

[goosebasedcryptid]

since i mentionned it on someone else's post i want to elaborate on my unfounded, unsubstantiated, baseless speculation, borderline fanfiction-esque belief that meredyth crane and prince jalabhar xho are having an affair at court in ASOS/AFFC

reason 1) merry is fun and likes to tell fun stories, she seems cheerful which makes me want to put her in situations where fun happens. while jalabhar xho doesn't have much time on page he seems chill and cool (there's a discussion to be had about the place he holds at court and how that relates to the many issues of orientalism in asoiaf but i'm not qualified to have that discussion i don't know shit about shit)

2) they danced together at tyrion and sansa's wedding! from what we know of sansa and garlan or kevan and janna, you presumably ask your 1st dance partner before the dance mixes couples around, so i can only assume that there is some acquaintance or at least cordiality between them

3) i've decided that the language lessons in the maidenvault in AFFC are purely an excuse for them to meet. sure learning a language with your almost cousins is cool but you know what's even cooler? learning it from your crush who wears a cool feather cloak. and yeah maybe sometimes you kiss a little and talk about running away to the free cities together but the girls are in on the secret, that's fine, 12 year old girls are famously good at keeping secrets

4) the moon tea. the moon tea was for merry. i will tolerate no other opinion. i am right and you know it. i am right about all of this. my opinion is correct and the only reason TWOW isn't coming out is because there are 35 chapters about this.

[goosebasedcryptid]

it's sansa vi asos time which means it's "petayer, oh petayer, petayer, sweet petayer, oh oh oh, there petayer, there petayer, there" time i hate you roy dotrice

[goosebasedcryptid]

why don't we talk more about lollys stokeworth?? she's 35 years old, presumably mentally disabled, everyone calls her a stupid cow and thinks marrying her would be the worst thing ever, she's traumatised after getting pregnant as the result of gang rape, and her mother is so desperate to get rid of her that she gives her hand in marriage to bronn who seizes stokeworth by kicking her sister out after their mother dies wow. i don't even know where to start but my god do we have to talk about lollys

[thetiredprometheus]

Tolkien only has two kind of elves: Enderenwen the fair, who's eyes hold centuries of pain and yet his gaze is as kind as the first sun in spring, his mother was a nightingale and his father a seabreeze, flowers grow wherever he walks;

And Finwendulenfinfedë, who has killed half of his entire family and is here to fuck shit up

[goosebasedcryptid]

walder frey told me lady stoneheart keeps hanging his sons and grandsons so I asked how many sons and grandsons he has and he said he just goes to the twins and gets new sons and grandsons afterwards so I said it sounds like he’s just sacrificing his sons and grandsons to lady stoneheart and then roslin frey started crying

[goosebasedcryptid]

ok but until this morning i 100% thought that "locust" was an old timey word for lobster

my first encounter with the word was in asoiaf dany chapters and since english isn't my first language, i didn't bother to search every word i didn't know and just kinda threw it in a big bag with "grrm words" written on it, along with all the horse types and bits of armour

it isn't until today when i was reading a post about the plagues of egypt in the bible that i went "hold on, in english bibles god sent lobsters to destroy the crops and invade the houses but my french bible says "sauterelles" so shouldn't it be grasshoppers?"

lo and behold, a quick dictionary search let me know that locusts are in fact insects and not lobsters which???? you mean to tell me that strong belwas was poisonned by grasshoppers???? puny little insects???? and not cool awesome lobsters???? you mean to tell me my entire vision of daznak's pit is shattered???? thanks holy bible and also grrm

[goosebasedcryptid]

how cersei thinks she looks stepping away from her regular diet of wine, paranoia, bullying teenagers and bankrupting the realm to enjoy some light arson in affc

[goosebasedcryptid]

im rereading asos and loving tyrion viii as always but can we just mention lady leonette spending the entire feast next to tyrion and sitting through all of joffrey's monkey business and subsequent violent death like this presumably

[goosebasedcryptid]

obsessed with asoiaf artists who draw the ironborn with elaborate hairstyles with braids and sometimes, dare i say, jewellery and all sorts of fancy shit

i love it so much because the ironborn quite literally worship at the altar of toxic masculinity and thus invoke the image of alpha country guys who use 7 in 1 shampoo-conditionner-bodywash-deodorant-toothpaste-moisturiser-gasoline and don't change their bedsheets but NO!! do not be fooled by your 21st century perception!! braiding your brother in the drowned god's hair while enjoying a nice sunny afternoon on the deck of your ship called iron cock or something is in fact super alpha chad behavior!! (except if theon does it ofc then it's woke and gay mainlander shit)

also as an aside, victarion "no it was clearly 100% justified when i killed my wife with my bare hands because my brother is an eldritch monster" greyjoy had to, at some point, go to the resident pyke tailor and be like "yes so i want a new cloak but it has to be nine layers of cloth of gold and it has to be kraken shaped and the arms have to go down to my boots to go with my helmet that is also shaped like a kraken with tentacles that make my jaw look sharper okay thanks" like girl that shit is fancy

[goosebasedcryptid]

my dealer leyton hightower : got some straight gas 🔥😝 this strain is called "great empire of the dawn" 😳 you'll be zonked out of your gourd 💯

me: yeah whatever. i don't feel shit

5 minutes later: dude i swear i just saw glass candles burning in the house of urrathon night-walker

my buddy marwyn the mage pacing: the grey sheep are lying to us

[goosebasedcryptid]

Ok everyone knows the classic "divorced, beheaded, died, divorced, beheaded, survived" but have you ever heard of the much worse "stroke, poisonned, consumption, rotting alive, summerhall, probably dragonfire and/or greyscale"

[goosebasedcryptid]

alternate version of asoiaf that is exactly the same except everytime someone says "mother have mercy" it's replaced with "mamma mia"

[sownwithstars]