(This sideblog has been archived! Please follow my main blog @springsodas instead!)
Hello, I am Star (she/her), and welcome to my sideblog for my TMNT shenanigans! You'll mostly see stuff from the 2003 series here, but I do dabble in the other iterations from time to time as well! Feel free to take a look around!
A late Happy New Year to everyone (and a much needed update.)
Hello, everyone, it's Star. How have you been? It's been almost a month since my last post where I announced my hiatus from this blog and I figured it was about time I popped in to let you know how I've been doing and what the future potentially holds.
As I explained previously, the reason I decided to take a much needed break from TMNT was because... well, I was letting certain parts of the fanbase get to me. And when I say "get to me," I mean that I had pretty much regressed heavily into what you might call an "anti" mindset, if we have to use ridiculous fandom terms like that. The triggering moment had to do with an unfortunate accident that I'm too embarrassed to explain in public because of how petty it is, but since then it's been fuel for a lot of unpleasant and extremely unhealthy thoughts, some of which I had unfortunately allowed spill into my posts by around November. (I don't know how many of you saw my last t**st hate post, which I ended up deleting, but it was getting to be like that.) Fortunately, I realized I was starting to let myself head in a more toxic direction and I said to myself "You know what? Let's take a break from turtles for a while because you clearly need it." So that's what I did, which is why it's been so quiet around here.
But there is another major factor that has forced me to take a break from the mainstream fandom, which is my mental health. For months now, it has been slowly but surely deteriorating to the point that I am struggling to function as a normal human being. There are days that I simply can not get out of bed, I'm finding less and less joy in things I used to love, and the literal act of socialization has become a hassle. Why my mental health had become so bad? There are a lot of reasons as to why, some of which I don't feel comfortable talking about in a public post, but the big one is that, due to either a mild case of food poisoning or a stomach virus, I developed PI-IBS that has resulted in chronic constipation. The good news is that I finally got the diagnosis from a doctor back in September/October; the bad news is that despite this diagnosis, my anxiety riddled brain cannot help but worry that this is actually something more serious and, you know, I'm eventually going to die or sth.
It's... it's been really rough. It hasn't gotten to the point where I've contemplated doing anything extreme, thank god, but even little things, like finding out we're not having pizza for dinner or discovering that someone broke off their mutual follow with me, is enough to make me upset and feel awful. It's that kind of depression.
It took a lot of courage, but I finally caved to the moderators/coordinators of my server, as well as some of my friends, about just how bad things had gotten on my end, as well as the issues I've been dealing with both large and small. I'm not the best at being openly vulnerable to people due to worrying that I'm bothering them and that I'm going to be rejected, but just... I cried, man, I cried. I got so much love and support and helpful advice that I almost couldn't handle it. The moderators/coordinators have also agreed to take on some of my duties in Turtles & Turnips so that I can better focus on managing my mental health, which is a huge relief. T&T is a great server and I'm very proud to have founded a place where TMNT 2003 fans can mingle and chat, but running it isn't easy and we've encountered our fair share of hiccups since late July when it first went online. (Never mind that we do have our fair share of, uh, strong personalities in that server.)
The future is still pretty murky at this point, but there have been a lot of things that I've been considering. I originally created this sideblog over a year ago in order to keep my TMNT spam posting separate from my main blog and I'm still flabbergasted by just how many people decided to follow me (630+, holy shit.) That said, between the fact that I want to focus more on my art/writing once I'm in a better headspace and maybe, just maybe, attempt to make some money through merch and/or commissions, it might finally be time for a major change. It probably won't happen until I'm officially back from my extended hiatus, but when it does, I'll let everyone know so that you're not all blindsided.
To everyone in the TMNT community, thank you so much for your love and support. It hasn't always been easy--every fandom has its share of drama and bad eggs--but in the 15 years since I began actively participating in fannish communities online, this is easily the fandom where I've felt the most embraced since joining. I'm going to work hard to get out of this depressive funk and when I do, I'll be back and I'll be stronger than ever. Take care, and I hope to see you sooner rather than later!
As sad as it sounds, it looks like I am going to need to take a significant break from TMNT for the time being.
tl;dr over the last few months, I've basically let my dislike of certain parts of the fanbase consume me? And I've long since realized that the mindset I've adopted is not a healthy one to have if I wanna participate in the fandom. I've made plenty of efforts to correct this, sought out advice from others, taking occasional social media breaks, etc, but at this point, I don't think I'm going to be able to finally fix this issue unless I REALLY step back for a while and focus on things other than TMNT. It sucks because I still love the franchise and I've made many good friends here, but I know I need to do this, both for my mental health and so that I can finally enjoy things like normal when I do come back.
I'll still be around reblogging things on my personal blog, posting babble to Bluesky, and running things in Turtles & Turnips because, well, I'm the admin and I don't wanna let the server fall apart, but for now, this sideblog is going on an extended hiatus. I'm extremely sorry, but I do hope that when I finally come back, I'll be in a much better place mentally. Thank you, and I hope to see you all again!
depending on your music tastes, this oc question might be hard (or incredibly easy lmao).
is there a score or instrumental piece of music you associate with your oc(s)? if so, why? what about the music makes you think of them or feels like them? if you don't know enough scores/instrumentals to feel confident answering, then maybe a song where the lyrics may not match your oc/their story, but the energy, sound or vibes of the song does.
and if you earnestly don't have answers for the previous requests, throw any oc-relevant song at me. slap me with it like a mackerel.
Oooooh, this one is a fun one
For Iseult, she's got a few songs I associate with her, but this battle theme from Vivy: Fluorite Eye's Song instantly brings to mind a tense action sequence where she's facing down one of her foes and, ya know, kicks their butt. She's a character who has been through a lot of pain but still chooses to hope, and I feel like this song fits her very well.
For Cecilia, "Rin's Melody" from the 2015 Unlimited Blade Works anime is a perfect reflection of her; a very quiet, extremely lonely young girl who hasn't grown up under the best conditions and walks an incredibly uncertain path as someone who doesn't even view herself as a person.
Coming off your Leo is the tallest depending on mood ask. Would Raphael be the second shortest?
If we're going by the "Raphael and Donatello are twins" headcanon, then potentially they're both the second shortest. Although generally speaking, I do prefer Raph slightly taller than Don.
This is just me thinking aloud, but I was thinking about some of the fandom interpretations I've seen of Leo's personality and that, at this point, I can't say I've seen one that genuinely disagree with other than the ones that water him down to "the boring Leader." Pretty much every single one I've seen has anywhere from an 85% to 100% approval rating from me, which is good! Rather would have that than some blatant mischaracterizations of my favs that I've seen in other fandoms.
That said, there are some interpretations that do bug me in the sense that I feel like they make him too... insecure? Like I don't know how to explain it in detail, but some of the secret sauce that makes his character for me is the fact that, while he does become a lot more humbled as the series goes on, he is very confident in himself--he wouldn't be able to make those split-second, life-or-death decisions in the middle of a battle otherwise. And some of those characterizations just... don't have that for some reason? Like his dorky moments are so cute and funny because he is so sure of himself, so it makes it that much more amusing to see him when he's just goofing around and/or accidentally embarrasses himself in front of his brothers. (Never mind that his sense of confidence does, in fact, occasionally manifest more negatively as arrogance; the events of The Shredder Strikes duology, as well as his conflict with Raphael in the City at War arc, are both a result of this.)
This is an interesting observation, and I think I've seen it around too: in pushing back against (more common in the early fandom) "boring leader" stereotypes, sometimes people do over-correct Leo into anxious woobie territory. Heck, I'm probably a bit guilty of this here and there. I love the tasty drama when his confidence takes a gut punch as much as anyone, but it really works best in contrast to his self-assured baseline. There's a lot of stress involved with being the the one calling the shots, but I think Leo generally thrives on this (or at least feels like he does - they are teenagers continually getting dragged into various flavors of gang war, which is... not ideal).
He shouldn't be an arrogant jerk overall either (which is the other extreme from "boring" that Leo-dislikers have traditionally run with), but will have some Moments as his level of confidence conflicts with his level of capability, or as he projects his perfectionist standards onto his brothers.
Not the same iteration of Leo but very similar so I'll include it as an example of what I mean by Leo projecting: the reason I hate his "I'm better than you" line in TMNT (2007) is not because it's unrealistically mean or arrogant in this tense moment, but it misses Leo's mindset. Sure, frustration is boiling over, but remember this guy just slunk home with his tail between his legs after failing to achieve his training sabbatical goals - confidence is not riding high enough for that kind of declaration. Leo perceives that his brothers have been slacking as a team in his absence, Raph being particularly disengaged. The front half of this same line of dialog is an attack on Raph's flaws, which is a good fit for his headspace and the flow of the argument. Instead of the swerve to "I'm better than you" though, I'd have him finish somewhere along the lines of "at least I'm trying," which is about as damning an accusation as Leo knows to give. It's also guaranteed to sting Raph, who is putting a lot of effort into solving the problems he feels Leo left behind, actually.
(Now that I think about it, this "why am I the only one putting in effort" complaint is basically the root grievance 2k3 Leo keeps lashing out with in his season 4 spiral, though obviously the two situations are pretty different)
(aaand a little side tangent about non-leader Leo I've been chewing on for a while, that I'll just tuck under a cut here~)
Leo's high personal standards and the way they inform his confidence are the reasons I also push back against the idea that he would completely relax if he'd never received leadership responsibilities. Leo, deferring to Raph instead of trying to run things himself, should still have a drive for excellence... it would just turn even further inward.
I see him basically becoming a second Donatello, but instead of practical tech and big brain strategy, his niche would be athletic perfection, ninjutsu skill, maybe Japanese literature/history (and depending on the setting, mystic/astral stuff). Don spends a lot of time by himself tinkering, and Leo already does the same with training, but without the responsibility he could really let it consume him. His team role would likely shift to the equivalent of Don's clutch tech solutions, but with Next Level Ninja Feats. A stealth run nobody else can handle, a shuriken throw requiring perfect accuracy, or maybe even some astral scrying or ~ancient ninja lore~ he could recognize. But where Don is generally content to be a specialist and take a back seat otherwise, Leo has too many Strong Opinions not to take up Raph's Lancer mantle and check him on his decisions.
This is just me thinking aloud, but I was thinking about some of the fandom interpretations I've seen of Leo's personality and that, at this point, I can't say I've seen one that genuinely disagree with other than the ones that water him down to "the boring Leader." Pretty much every single one I've seen has anywhere from an 85% to 100% approval rating from me, which is good! Rather would have that than some blatant mischaracterizations of my favs that I've seen in other fandoms.
That said, there are some interpretations that do bug me in the sense that I feel like they make him too... insecure? Like I don't know how to explain it in detail, but some of the secret sauce that makes his character for me is the fact that, while he does become a lot more humbled as the series goes on, he is very confident in himself--he wouldn't be able to make those split-second, life-or-death decisions in the middle of a battle otherwise. And some of those characterizations just... don't have that for some reason? Like his dorky moments are so cute and funny because he is so sure of himself, so it makes it that much more amusing to see him when he's just goofing around and/or accidentally embarrasses himself in front of his brothers. (Never mind that his sense of confidence does, in fact, occasionally manifest more negatively as arrogance; the events of The Shredder Strikes duology, as well as his conflict with Raphael in the City at War arc, are both a result of this.)
Non-TMNT related: This is a fairly general reminder, but if you're a new Tumblr user please be sure to do at least one of the following
Change your profile icon, banner, and/or title from the default
Include a blog description
Make an original post of some sort
Besides accounts that post my squicks, I also block any blogs that I suspect to be bots; such accounts are generally easy to spot, as they use the default layout and don't have any original posts. Unfortunately, if the blog in question is, in fact, merely a new user, it can result in me accidentally blocking someone because I thought them to be a machine rather than a person.
So, simply put; please make it apparent that you are, in fact, a human and not a robot. As important as it is for me to keep the bots away, I hate the idea of accidentally blocking someone whose only crime is that they just joined Tumblr and haven't attempted to customize the look of their blog just yet.
TMNT 2003 Things that amuse me: Same As It Never Was is easily one of the most beloved episodes in the entire series and the most remembered from the Ultimate Drako arc; yet, rather uniquely, it was the only episode from that arc to take place in a universe original to 2003. The rest of the arc was all effectively crossover episodes. (Specifically with Planet Racers, another with Usagi Yojimbo, and the Super Turtles universe that debuted in a Tales of the TMNT issue.)
one of my favorite things about TMNT 2003 is how it’s very much set in a comic book universe. obviously the show pulls a lot of inspiration from the early mirage comics and that’s so clear in how stories just sort of stack on top of each other
there’s superheroes and a diet Justice League, there’s an ancient extinct civilization that just crops up occasionally; we have all sorts of aliens and robots happening. magic and alternate dimensions and time travel happen all the time and no one bats an eye
I just find it very fun how much capital L Lore gets thrown around as the show goes on. makes trying to explain anything that’s happening very convoluted
