The Holly and the Handcuffs...
(Wait, that isn’t how the song goes?)
KISS ME AT CHRISTMAS by Valerie Bowman
St. Martin’s Press :: 2018
Historical Romance :: Regency
INITIAL THOUGHTS AND QUICK SYNOPSIS
This was such a good book. It was entertaining, amusing, dramatic, and it catapulted me straight into Christmas mode before Halloween had even come and gone. It ticked so many boxes for me: a bow street hero, a reserved heroine determined to learn to be daring, a plot full of action and hijinks, a very nonprofessional application of handcuffs…
Oh how I love a Bow Street Runner. Though by its final days the rudimentary police force, which Henry Fielding created to replace the antiquated London thief takers, was corrupted beyond recognition and badly in need of replacement by a new, modern metropolitan police force, there is something endlessly romantic about the idea of the Bow Street Runner. A figure of justice amid the chaos of an ungoverned world… but don’t tell Daffin Oakleaf that. The papers might be calling him a hero, but he’s not getting a big head about it. Just a headache. One that only gets worse when the beautiful Lady Regina turns up, in the middle of his least favorite season, and makes him a very indecent, slightly offensive, proposal.
Not that Lady Regina Haversham meant to be offensive, it’s just that she hasn’t had much practice asking attractive men to take her virginity. But still, better madly attractive Daffin, whom she actually likes, than giving it to her soon-to-be (but, as she will remind you, they’re not technically even engaged yet) husband. Unfortunately, not only does she embarrass herself, and get rejected, she also winds up shackled to Daffin (sadly not literally) when her cheerful Christmastide is interrupted by someone determined to kill her.
I love Daffin. I really do. Though a bit reserved he is nevertheless charming, honorable, brave (don’t tell him I said so), respectful, and basically an actual knight in armor, without the armor.
Someone get him some armor. Please. Before he gets shot again for the millionth time.
Daffin is the perfect example of a hero who came from such a horrible background that it not only ruined Christmas for him forever, but also destroyed his ability to trust, and his faith in happy endings. And yet he’s so noble, and good - it didn’t turn him into an impossible bastard like we see with some heroes.
But of course this is a romance, so you know what we say when heroes can’t believe in happy endings:
Oh Regina. Talk about a relatable heroine. She has so much potential to be brave and to live her life boldly - but all she’s every really known is a secluded, reserved life, raised in the country by two elderly family members. This book is about her learning to actually live her life, unreservedly… even if that means awkwardly proposing a deflowering to the man she finds attractive and accidentally implying he’s a sex worker in the process.
He pulled away from her and softly rubbed his knuckles along her cheek, giving himself a moment to memorize the fine details of her features before he stood to leave.
– First of all: FACE TOUCHES!
– Second: This scene absolutely killed me.
Daffin basically defining consent when Regina is assaulted by this creep of an aristo and is blaming herself. She claims that she shouldn’t have gone into that room alone with creepo, and Daffin tells her that it doesn’t matter if she went into the room with him, that wasn’t her asking to be mauled sexually. REAL MEN RESPECT CONSENT. Dammit.
Daffin Crying. I cried. Because he was crying. Unashamedly crying because he was just so relieved. Way to embrace your emotions, Darling. Well done, you.
Ummmmm… I really like Daffin’s handcuffs. And so does Regina. He’s also reaaaaaaally good at the edging game which I love to hate.
Regina having the brass ovaries to walk into Daffin’s office in Bow Street and ask him to sleep with her. Get it girl. Embrace your agency.
Just how much I hated Regina’s potential betrothed. This may sound counter productive but OH MY GOSH I hated that guy and I loved every seething, swearing-at-the-book minute of it.
This isn’t the first time I’ve read one of Bowman’s books and felt the ending wasn’t as strong as the beginning. She gets a good running start, but she struggles to carry the energy all the way to the very last word.
The plot would have been stronger had I been right about who the villain was. My creep-dar wasn’t entirely wrong, just slightly to the left of true North. And I’m not saying that because I was wrong but rather because the plot really would have felt more cleanly resolved had it been Figure A, rather than surprise figure B.
I really wish authors would stop leaning on the “other woman” trope.
Was this the most perfectly, pristinely crafted romance novel I’ve ever read? No. But did I even notice at the time? Of course not! I was too busy enjoying the delightful, somewhat suspenseful, Christmas romp! With handcuffs! If you’re looking for the perfect book to launch you into Christmas mode now that Halloween is passed, definitely start with Kiss Me at Christmas! And if you read only one Christmas romance this year (though why on earth would you limit yourself like that!) make it this one.
