“This is how I learned to love. Fleeting; in a panic; a frenzy; watching as the wicked unfolds.”
— Desireé Dallagiacomo, from Sink (via buttonpoetry)
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“This is how I learned to love. Fleeting; in a panic; a frenzy; watching as the wicked unfolds.”
— Desireé Dallagiacomo, from Sink (via buttonpoetry)
“I hope there is something beautiful on the horizon that’s just as impatient as I am. Something so eager, it wants to meet me halfway.”
— Rudy Francisco, “Horizon”
Подстава
this is not a helpful translation, google.
oh
Now this is a Russian culture lesson
Elusive Introverted Intuition: What is it?
No matter what source you look at Introverted iNtuition [Ni] never seems to be properly explained. It is always vague with descriptions like “AHA” moments, deep perception, and mystical like psychic abilities. Or you get tumblr, which is probably filled with the most misinformation about the function. (Don’t get me started on forums where people make baseless claims and just cause even more mass confusion). Then the worst reasoning for dominant Ni I have ever seen is “long term planning/goals.” As if no other types, just the rarest in the population, have this ability.
So where do we start and figure out what this function actually is? Out of credible sources (peer reviewed articles and books) even their descriptions seem vague and are difficult to imagine and actually apply. Unlike all other functions described in their purest form, the dominant position, it can’t seem to be described as its own function. What I mean is Ni can’t seem to be described alone, but must be paired with other functions INJs use in their stack in order to illustrate the function. But at that point you are no longer describing Ni, but the personality type as a whole. Sources seem to dance around the actual definition or explanation of Ni. And it is utterly bothersome. What is it at its core?
I think going into where this misinformation comes from will help ground us in the actual function of Ni in its purest form in INFJs and INTJs. Once this is uncovered we will see why these types are so rare and perhaps glorify them less. This way we don’t see them as mythical unicorns, but people with pros and cons like the rest of the personality types.
1. “Gut Feelings” or AHA moments. Let’s start with Lenore Thomson’s beginning description of the function, “Introverted intuition is more cerebral than the [other perceiving function]. It prompts an interest in perception itself – the process of recognizing and interpreting what we take in” (222). What we take from this is that INJs are theoretical filters. They take in information and focus in on it, they mull over it. INJ’s intuition is very focused and trying to look for a conclusion. From the outside when they finally verbalize their conclusions it can look like a “gut feeling” or AHA moment. But this is a false representation of what is going on inside the mind of an INJ. They worked very hard to get to that conclusion, seeming aloof or empty for so long cause they were so focused inward that once they formulated their conclusion they come back to the land of living to share this information. However, in a dominant position INJs are less inclined to engage with others about their ideas/conclusions, ESPECIALLY when the ideas/conclusions aren’t fully formulated.
Unlike Extroverted intuition types (ENPs) who will blurt out all their theories and ideas aloud to bounce them off others and then hide away not letting others know about their full conclusions, INJs do the exact opposite. They are bouncing these ideas within their own minds. Let us use the act of painting an art piece to demonstrate how this works. Think of the paintings as theories/ideas these people have. Ne (extroverted intuition) will look at the canvas and see a billion possibilities.
ENPs will be unable to resist painting right away even without, often without, a full picture of what they want to produce as their end art piece. They will make mistakes and chuck out a canvas and replace it anew. Each time they will ask for feedback, probably cutting off people and finishing their thoughts because they share them too and don’t want to sit through a person repeating what they know. After a while of this they will finally have a completed piece of art. Although their workshop is messy, it is completed. AKA the final theory is formed.
The INJ is different. They look at the blank canvas for a very, very long time. The paints are left untouched and it is absolute silence. They are in an intense state of concentration. In their mind they are imagining the end result they want and how to get there. What will they mix together to get to that end result they so imagine? They will then painstakingly make that vision come to life on the canvas, making sure not one stroke is off. No room for mistakes. It will take an unfortunate amount of time. But once it is finished, if it is exactly the conclusion or painting they wanted in their minds. The INJ will then show it to others, but only then.
Now, we can see the obvious social differences here. The ENP needed feedback, needed to physically see their ideas in the outside world, and needed a few practice ones. The INJ being introverted kept their work private and not until it was perfect then share it with others. This is why they appear to have “AHA” moments or gut feelings. Because to the outsider it looks like the painter INJ is absent, not there. Then suddenly an idea pops in their minds and they go for it. That isn’t what happened though. Every part of the painting the INJ thought about before physically implementing it. Every part was thought out and methodical. It was brought to a linear conclusion, aka polished to an inch of its life, before the INJ enacted it. There wasn’t an idea from no where. It was an idea the INJ worked, actively worked, hard to achieve.
Keep reading
Couldn’t have summed it up any better myself.
This is really good, if long. Especially the parts about future orientation and detachment.
Each enneagram subtype summed up
Enneagram 1:
Sp: I have to be perfect
Sx: You have to be perfect
So: I am perfect
Enneagram 2:
Sp: If I am cute and innocent, will you love me then?
Sx: If I am hot and seductive, will you love me then?
So: If I help you out, will you love me then?
Enneagram 3:
Sp: I don’t need you to applaud my success
Sx: The right people have to applaud my success
So: I live for the applause
Enneagram 4:
Sp: I must suffer in silence
Sx: If I have to suffer, you have to suffer
So: I suffer too much
Enneagram 5
Sp: Let me stay in my own world
Sx: Let me show you my own world
So: Let me observe your world
Enneagram 6
Sp: I overcome fear by sticking to the rules
Sx: I overcome fear by facing my fears
So: I overcome fear by upholding status quo
Enneagram 7
Sp: Fun is where it’s most intense
Sx: Fun is where I haven’t been before
So: I must sacrifice fun for the greater good
Enneagram 8
Sp: It’s me and my people against the world
Sx: I must control others to control the world
So: I must lead the world to a better place
Enneagram 9
Sp: I must nurture myself to find peace
Sx: I must nurture my intimates to find peace
So: I must put others before myself to find peace
The Types as Star Wars GIFs/Quotes
INTJ
INTP
ENTJ
ENTP
INFJ
INFP
ENFJ
ENFP
ISTJ
ISFJ
ESTJ
ESFJ
ISTP
ISFP
ESTP
ESFP
“What’s on your mind right now, INTP?”
- Have you ever thought that maybe our universe is just some giant person’s cup of tea
- What is the Meaning Of Our Existences™
- Do bees dream
- What if all inanimate objects actually have a consciousness, and they think we’re dumb because we can’t talk in their ways of communication
- Why do we wear clothes if we’re all naked underneath them
- Are you real?
- Am I real?
- Is this wHOLE PLACE REaL
- What is reality anyway
- Words are just weird noises made with out mouths that has no meaning whatsoever
- How would a food chain work without mosquitos
- Thank goodness nobody can hear my thoughts
- Or can they
- Maybe everybody can hear everybody’s thoughts, but then everybody just pretend like they can’t because the whole thing would be just too awkward
- Seriously though are you a simulation
- PUNS
- I need a masterplan just in case I end up ruling the world. Remember to talk to INTJ about it later
- I want to own an unpopulated island
- I wish I had friends enough to throw a party. Not that I want to throw a party, it would just be nice to know that I could if I wanted to
- Nevermind too many friends means too much work
- I can’t wait for the apocalypse
- Clouds are pretty much trapped in a time loop forever
- Is this plataform real
- So there’s this Book I’m Reading
- Is this a good time to ask them to take the mbti test
- *random meme song playing on their head*
- So many possibilities. This could be how I die, or how she dies, or how he dies or maybe everybody dies and I’ll be serving as witness on court next Saturday morning
- Who invented the question mark
- Endless Theories About The Origin Of Life
- I want to go home
- More puns
E, whose name could start with A,
You were kind of my best friend. Not officially. I had my best friend and I adored her – I still do – and I’m sure I brought her up. But we talked about real shit. I came to you when I needed a distraction and I told you when I was sad. I didn’t go into a lot of full detail but you can blame my trust issues. I would have. Eventually.
You, though, you told me about work and the toll it had on you and the way you had to step up when your father stepped down. You told me about how you were the one to find your grandma after she had committed suicide. You told me about the way your mom treated you and the awful relationship you had with your sister in spite of everything you sacrificed for your family and damn, you sacrificed a lot. You told me about money problems and where your head was out. Little by little you opened up to me and I was glad to be there when you needed someone to talk to. I wanted to help. I loved you so much, you know?
I mean that. I really did. I loved that your writing was as filled with angst as mine. I loved your art. I loved that your celebrity obsessions were always foreign and fairly unknown in America though you had never left the country. I loved how sarcastic your sense of humor was and how blunt you could be and how pissed off you could get because it was never directed to me but showed that you could stand up for yourself. I loved how passionate you got about the things you liked and I loved that underneath your hard exterior there was a skittish, kind, hopeful young girl that did not give herself enough credit. I loved that I was important to you. And even now, I know I was.
I have had moments where I doubted it. But I saw the loops you jumped through to speak to me. Hell, you stayed in a community you wanted nothing to do with just because I was a part of it. You would drive to the library parking lot with your laptop just to get an internet connection so we could talk until three am. You would tell me about people walking by and it scared the shit out of you a few times and when you had to drive back home I worried until three the next evening when you would duck into McDonald’s to buy some fries and mooch off their wifi and I could hear from you again.
I don’t know what changed. I guess we were a slow burn. I could feel you drifting away and maybe that was all you or maybe I pushed because I get scared when people get close and I do that. You would talk about all the girls you knew that found love and started ignoring you and all of their other friends, but is that not what you did to me? Weren’t you hypocritical? Was there more to it than that?
I hope he is good to you, truly. You are engaged now and it came as a shock when I found out but I know that you needed someone on your team and I hope with all of my heart that he is. You live with him now. You have dogs with him. And you two were talking about where you’d spend the future from what you said. I hope it lasts. I know you have had some pretty fucked up things happen to you in the past but he seems like a nice guy and if I could tell you one thing it would be to let him in. I think you see yourself as some sort of unloveable, unworthy, sadistic human being and you aren’t. I attached myself to you pretty fast but the more you let me see of you, the prouder I became to call you my friend. In all honesty, I always felt like you were too cool for me. But you never made me feel like a lesser person. So I thank you for that.
My sister used to ask about you a lot and I would skim over the question. I would say “oh, I haven’t talked to her in awhile, she’s been busy” because I didn’t want to get into what happened. I didn’t know what happened.
Honestly? I still don’t know what happened.
But now I tell her that you message me a few times and disappear for half the year then swoop back in like nothing changed. Clearly it has. I would be here if you made half an effort to reconnect but you never get past the conversation starters. And it used to hurt. A lot. But now I just go along with it. I haven’t heard from you since Christmas Eve and a part of me assumes you’ll never message me again but I thought that time and time before. I hope you do. I like knowing that you’re doing okay even if you see it as a job to message me or something. I don’t think I’ll ever message you again. It won’t make a difference. You won’t open my texts until you want to talk to me. I put myself out there too many times. Losing you certainly didn’t help my trust issues. You kind of ghosted me in a way, you know? You made me feel like shit. Like you were angry with me for reasons I couldn’t comprehend. Like I had done something wrong. But I get it and it’s not your fault. And I wouldn’t trade the memories I have of you for anything.
There was a time that seeing pictures of your favorite singer made me feel queasy. I would stare at your profile picture and consider messaging you for the third time in a row, only to back out. I got angry over you. I cried over you. I felt like a fool for talking to you every single time you contacted me. But I don’t want you to feel the way I did. I know you didn’t intentionally hurt me and probably still aren’t aware that you did. So it’s okay and I get it. Kind of. Enough.
I’m pretty much used to people vanishing from my life. I am not the easiest person to love and neither are you. But we are worth it. Both of us. I hope you see that now. I hope you stopped looking at your future like it was a dead end. Ann I hope you know this if you ever need anyone, I don’t care how long it’s been. I’m here.
- A, whose name could start with E.
Hello again. I have another question (obviously). Would you say that there are certain functions more connected with feelings of impatience then others, or would you say that impatience is a result of any unhealthy or inferior?
I think all the extroverted functions can manifest levels of impatience:
Se: I want or make it happen right now!
Ne: I want to see the results of my ideas right now!
Te: I want to rush this through and be done with it / achieve my success now!
Fe: I want you to respond to me right now / actively participate in this now!
Introverted functions move slower and thus respect more patience:
Si: It takes me time to process and learn in detail.
Ni: It takes me time to build intuitive connections and ideas.
Ti: It takes me time to reach complete understanding of a topic.
Fi: It takes me time to process and name my deeper emotions.
If all the functions are in play, introverted functions should dial back the impatience of extroverted functions and give them focus, and the extroverted functions should motivate the introverted functions to take action.
- ENFP Mod
Please continue that series on the functions when healthy/unhealthy. I can't wait for Se & Ni :)
I was hoping someone would ask for them individually for separate posts… but ah well.
Healthy Se-dom: active pursuit of situations and activities that stimulate you to avoid boredom, pursuit of pleasure by directly joining, participating, interacting and diving in without hesitation. Good at seeing opportunities to act and motivating others to do the same. Down to earth, open to change, free-spirited, and flexible, comfortable in changing your direction with new opportunities.
Unhealthy Se-dom: abandoning people and jobs as soon as you lose interest, making reckless decisions based in how you feel or your wants in the present, contempt for others who are not as motivated or full of action as yourself, put self-gratification above all else, leaving a wake of destruction behind you (ruined relationships, burned bridges, bad grades and/or job experiences without future references).
Healthy Se-aux: looks for ways to take action based on your judgments, good at noticing and taking on possibilities in the immediate present, strong motivation to change and move forward, awareness of the value in the present situation, pursuit of activities that strengthen your awareness and keep you ‘busy’; quick to act decisively once you have made up your mind, down to earth, open to change, and comfortable going in new directions when you hit a challenge.
Unhealthy Se-aux: lazy and compliant (because it’s all about ‘now’), unable and unwilling to work hard for anything because it’s not entertaining or ‘fun’; reckless pursuit of stimulating experiences, over-indulgence in sensory needs/pleasures, vain about appearance, lacks consideration for future consequences, prone to abandoning projects, jobs, or relationships out of boredom.
Healthy Se-tert: takes Ni-visions and brings them into being through solid and confident action, enjoys new situations and experiences that allow them to think and act in the moment, pursues experiences and pays attention to sensory ‘tells’ in others which helps Ni form conclusive perceptions about others, has a good balance between ‘intuition’ and ‘action.’
Unhealthy Se-tert: impulsive, reckless, and rash, over-pursuing of sensory pleasures and experiences (food, sex, drinking, over-eating, over-spending), often leaps into things before they look then finds themselves overwhelmed, seeks only evidence to support rather than supplement Ni-perceptions; may bully or intimidate others physically to get what they want.
Healthy Se-inferior: gathers external evidence to support Ni-dom perceptions about others, takes an active interest in participation rather than just intellectual observation, willing and desirous of leaping on opportunities to act when the opportunity arises, willing to take chances and be ‘present.’
Unhealthy Se-inferior: never used except to excess, when the person over-drinks, over-spends, sleeps with someone they never would otherwise, or does foolish things (which could wind up getting them hurt); ignores external evidence that does not support Ni-perceptions, poor at knowing when to act, low-drive to become active in the world or take chances (which means they pass them by).
Healthy Ni-dom: careful absorption of all potential possibilities and narrowing down to the most likely outcome, with a willingness to change their mind later if missing pieces fall into place; strong focus on the future impact of present behaviors and decisions and where they want their life to lead; trusts in their own intuition and insight into situations but not quick to leap to conclusions. You feel most comfortable when you have a sense of purpose or longer-term directions, and make decisions based on connecting deeper meanings and over-arching ideas. Reliance on sudden insight and visualizing a desired outcome.
Unhealthy Ni-dom: leaps to intuitive conclusions and stubbornly clings to them without sufficient data / information / knowledge to have a trustworthy insight (over-reliance on ‘filling in the blanks); stubborn and often refuses to change their mind, pre-judges people and situations harshly, superior attitude of insight and tendency to look down on others for their limited foresight; overly vague, clings to unrealistic or unachievable perfectionist ideals.
Healthy Ni-aux: takes time for inner reflection and to visualize what one wants from life and/or what would benefit society in future rather than generalizing; seeks depth and meaning in their life and encounters; trusts one’s hunches about people and instincts about future trends; works steadily toward bringing about a ‘greater’ vision.
Unhealthy Ni-aux:impatient to deepen understanding, hasty and premature in leaping to conclusions, overconfident in taking on too much (in pursuit of one’s vision), tendency to believe in ‘one truth’ (and expect others to agree with it), sense of being different / superior to others due to foresight, cannot deeply consider things, change their mind, and prone to rationalizing bad behavior, can be pessimistic about the future and/or focuses on criticism over vision.
Healthy Ni-tert: good at finding higher purpose and meaning in life, valuing self-discipline, focus, reflective, insightful, and futuristic-minded. Able to put their mind to a future desired outcome and work toward it, rather than abandoning it when it becomes boring / hard / no longer fun (Se dominance).
Unhealthy Ni-tert: distrustful of outside ideas, negative outlook on the future (or fearful), paranoid, pessimistic, trusts only ‘negative’ hunches about others, over-simplification of complex issues, believes they have deeper insight than they have, fixated on a single future outcome that is not well-defined or ‘true.’
Healthy Ni-inferior: optimistic belief in positive outcomes for the future, interest in deeper things and feeling a need to make your life have deeper meaning, purpose, and impact beyond the present (and beyond yourself); desire to work toward an eventual life you want for yourself / vision of what you want.
Unhealthy Ni-inferior: never thinks about the future or the consequences of their actions, comes to rash, impulsive perceptions rather than taking time and carefully forming intuitive suspicions (leaping to conclusions, then stubbornly holding to them); becomes negative and fixated on bad outcomes and/or has a sense of doom about the future (grip); can be narrow-minded.
- ENFP Mod
a city in wisconsin
I understand now, why you decided to let go. You’re going back to him aren’t you? God I feel like such a fool
Like I don’t know if I’m more angry at the situation or myself. I thought I had prepared myself for the day you would need to move on, but I guess not. It’s like jumping off a cliff and being surprised when you hit the ground, you know it’ll happen but it still hurts so much.
I lied when you asked why I’ve been so anxious, because I didn’t want to hurt you when I tell you you’re the reason. Every time we were together I was reminded how we would end up here. And there’s just so much I want to say to you but I don’t know how to word it without sounding mean because I don’t think you meant for this to happen. I feel like I’m making so much out of nothing. Like what we’ve told each other means more than it does. If you read this would I sound selfish? It’s a strange question I guess, but I just need to know. Would I sound crazy or dramatic? My mom always said I take things too seriously or blow things out of proportion so maybe that’s what I’m doing now.
Like I don’t know how to tell you how bad it hurt when you said it’s not my fault but you’re tired of waiting for nothing. Of course it’s my fault, I told you how I felt knowing full well we could never be together. And maybe the reason you were waiting for nothing was you couldn’t commit to being done with him. Are you really broken up if you’re still hooking up and texting each other all the time? Like why would I give up so much by coming out if I don’t think you’re committed to letting him go. You said you felt guilty when you’re with him, thinking of me. I told you not to, that it doesn’t bother me, that I don’t have the right to be jealous because we’re just friends. I never told you how it hurt, knowing where you were. But it did, it does. I hate the thought of you together but I hate even more that I can’t do anything about it. And I hate that, if you are back together, he might just end up hurting you again. That kills me because I was there the first time, I wanted to take away all your pain and just make you happy again so badly. And I know people work things out sometimes and get back together and I want to be happy for you if that’s the case, but it’s just so hard.
You can’t miss someone who was never yours, a friend told me that once. But I don’t think that’s entirely true because right now it feels like I’ll never stop missing you. I wish I could go back in time, so we could start over. I’d do so many things differently so we don’t end up here. And I’d have all my secrets back, all the wounds I’ve picked open again to show you would stay closed. I wouldn’t write that first letter or tell you how I feel. Who knows maybe one day I’ll stop hurting and this will be like one of my bad dreams.
And I just wonder if this is how everything ends, with us slowly drifting apart? I feel the pull, just like everyone else who has disappeared from my life. I’m so scared, not just because of all this, but you’re my best friend. I don’t know how I could deal with that loss. But I guess these days it just doesn’t seem like it. It’s so hard to talk to you without thinking I’m being annoying or you don’t really care.
I haven’t told you yet but I’m applying to a job across the country. I have a really good chance of getting it too. I was planning on just disappearing quietly to avoid hurting you if I got it, but what’s the point anymore. But if or when I find my way to disappear I’ll make sure I give you the charm back, you probably regret ever giving to me and I wouldn’t blame you if you did. And it’s easier to heal when you don’t have things to haunt you. Do you still have the book I gave you?
You told me after the first letter you like knowing what’s on my mind and wish I would tell you more, are you still sure? Because there’s all the ugly truth I’ve been pushing down for so long. Will you even see this letter? Who knows. If you do I hope you don’t hate me and that you know how much I mean it when I say I’m sorry if I’ve hurt you at all. I’ve lost so much sleep and spent so much time feeling sick thinking I’ve hurt you or made you hate me. I just care about you so much. And if you do hate me, that’s ok, you’re not the first, you’re just the one who will hurt the worst.
This is my last letter. I’ve never shown you the others but there’s bits and pieces from them in here. I thought about hand writing this and giving it to you but thank god I didn’t because it would’ve been stained with tears and the bottle of wine I spilt and you know I would never work up the nerve to give it to you. Hell I’m posting it somewhere anonymously because I’m a coward and am so afraid of you hating me. The reason for that is while I don’t necessarily want you to see it, I still need someone to and all these people who will won’t respond and will forget about it later, you won’t. Also I’ve had a lot of wine and it’s the middle of the night so of course I think submitting it is a good idea. Now I’ll just spend the rest of my days even more anxious than normal.
Also, it was always a real kiss. It just hurts less if I pretend it wasn’t.
Sorry this is so long
a lonely state
ENFP: I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!
INFJ: *mumbling* you too
ENFP: *big hug* It makes me so happy when you say it back!
I feel personally attacked
INFJ brain: “It’s just chemistry. I don’t have to act on it until I know I absolutely want to. I’ll get involved with someone when I know I’m ready. And right now, I know I’m not ready. I trust myself to know when I’m ready and I trust myself to only pursue someone when that time comes.” INFJ heart: *has like 3 on-going crushes* *daydreams romantic situations to excess* *can’t stop the feels* INFJ: “…fuck”
when your mental illness starts acting up again