TOASTER001

Larissa // "You think you're excited? You should feel my nipples." - Dwight K. Schrute

[thebootydiaries]

[lifehackable]

This is potentially life saving information everyone should know.

[tarcroach]

No you guys this post helped me find my cat. He was missing for almost a month and I’ve had him for over 12 years. After seeing this I put his favorite blanket he always slept on outside hoping he would smell mine or his scent and he was back the next fucking day asleep on it.

[ittygittydiddynator]

When my cat got out, we called and called for him, and then, later that night, I remembered similar advice to this, and so put his little scratching pad, which he adores, on the front porch. Not even half an hour later, I heard a thump, opened the door, and there was his big butt, meowing at me.

[sparklesmccheesy]

Important and vital

[natasha-romvnoff]

I don’t care that I reblogged this today I’m reblogging it again

[vastderp]

awwwww babies ;_; i hope everyone’s pets come home safe.

[bob-belcher]

[afrogay-deactivated20130525]

if i die my funerals gonna be the biggest fucken party and you’re all invited 

[aidn]

if

[14th2]

great, the only party ive ever been invited to and he might not even die

[psyducked]

do you ever wonder how many people have had a crush on you and never told you

[psyducked]

well it’s time for y'all to speak tf up!! I’m not getting any younger

[literalizing]

Teacher: *gives 25 minute speech about wasting time*  

[5fifth-deactivated20190711]

[choppedandfoodnetwork]

[goon]

it would be called disappointing your mother

[saitamas-hoodie]

and just for the record, it’d be highjacking

[pussylipgloss]

my children: hey mom whats for dinner??

me: oh hunny im serving up looks tonight!

my children: mother we haven’t eaten in days

[frank-macmurphy-deactivated2020]

[blizzardofjj]

[veronicasantangelo]

my guy copyrighted his comment 

[d-the-australian-dork]

@staff

[theredpelican]

we’re literally floating on a tiny planet in fucking space why are we surrounded by hatred and misery. why can’t everyone just calm the fuck down and lay on some grass. the sun is a GIANT BURNING ORB why does money exist. fuck everything

[blackness-by-your-side]

gay vodka!

[lassi]

[portraitofadumbassonfire]

Me 2 seconds after being born

[challenger2753]

i’m the panel 

[gostle]

the stomping