This is a story about loss.
CW: Loss of loved ones.
To preface... In December, 5 months ago now, my best friend passed away. On May 3, my stepdad, who has been my only father figure for 35 of my 40 years on earth passed away.
I don't know what to do... I feel stuck. How am I supposed to move on from losing my best friend? I mean, I kept going through the motions after she died. I kept going to work, I kept my Girl Scout troop going... I just kept going. I cried, and still cry, a lot over her death, but I kept going. My stepdad died and I feel like my whole world stopped.
The idea of going back to work feels overwhelming. I missed two appointments for my kid yesterday. I haven't had Girl Scouts in a month and a half and the last meeting I just completely forgot about.
I have PTSD. I already had PTSD but it feels like more just gets added and now I'm to the point where I can barely function as a human being. Between that and the thoughts of death rapid firing in my brain constantly I just don't know how to exist. Every moment I worry about losing someone else. I'm constantly just waiting for the next round of bullshit that's around the corner.
How do I go back to being a functioning human? Or at least as functioning as I was - because let's face it, my version of functioning is very broken.

















