Living on the edge of Internet fame

Finally able to legally enter a bar. Perpetually tired and probably crying about fictional characters.

[limbel]

when youre reading smut and youre positive you have their entire geometry figured out but then someone grabs a knees that shouldn be there

[chillyfeetsteak]

a few doors down from me my neighbors have a squirrel bar nailed to the tree in front of the sidewalk, not exactly this but something like this:

it's been there for years and they never "stock" it so it's just sitting there. anyway, i thought it would be cute to make a little squirrel out of sculpey and leave it on one of the stools in the middle of the night. i also made a little sculpey beer bottle with its own label.

it lasted exactly one day and now it is gone. it didn't fall off, i stuck it on with tape. what do you think happened to it? your most fantastical and wrong answers only, please

[chillyfeetsteak]

HUGE NEWS HUGE UPDATE

squirrel REAPPEARED today... NOW PAINTED

[autie-j]

Remember when Xbox was going to basically ban used games for the xbox one, and Playstation made fun of them with that video titled "how to share games on Playstation" and it was just one guy handing another a game disk? And now Playstation is getting rid of physical disks entirely

[larken-the-skies]

It’s like they expect us to just forget their original marketing schemes in favor of more and more money grabs.

[catchymemes]

[littleguysdaily]

[ishipitlikeups]

In light of Easter, when Jesus ascended, do you think it was in a T-pose or more of a Superman situation?

[aminta]

a real true mutual waits until you are opening tumblr at work to reblog sexually explicit art

[footsteps-on-the-dance-floor]

april fools day is actually the most sensible day of the year because it's the only day on which people will read something on the internet and stop for a second to consider whether or not it's actually true

[molive-0]

There are many benefits to being a marine biologist

[baddywronglegs]

By this point Loch Ness is probably the inland body of water we can be most sure doesn't have a monster in it.

[official-kircheis]

where's that post of someone getting a letter from their bank like "dear keith we realise you're just taking the piss but every time you venmo your mate for 'al-qaeda training camp' we do have to, by law, fill out a lot of boring paperwork for the police so we'd really appreciate it if you'd stop doing that"

[andmaybegayer]

here it is

[landmoose]

Hello we are your bank. Stop pretending to be terrorist.

[joshuaballsett]

[babbhad]

[cipheramnesia]

[marseny]

[joasakura]

[whoscallingwhoafraud]

[horseimagebarn]

horsethoughtbarn 5 name

if horses werent called horses what do you think they should be called

[kaylmao]

quibbet /ˈkwɪ.bɪt/

from proto indo european *kswibʰ-éh₁-ti (to move quickly, stative form implying something moving quickly)

via proto brythonic *hwɨβid (to move)

spelling then latinized by roman empire to quibus, then frankified by norman invaders to quibbet

[horseimagebarn]

incredibly done my friend exactly the kind of thing i was hoping for

[adz]

i am a biological machine that turns cold cans of Campbell’s soup into shareholder value and nude selfies

[adz]

>:(

[avalynramsaygames]

I think War Thunder should add UFOs just so we can see what we learn from the forums.

[rouge-the-bat]

"can we normalize-" NO!!!!!! we do not need to expand whats considered normal!!! we need to teach people to stop reacting judgmentally when encountering something new and weird!!!! things dont need to be normal to be respected!!!!!!!!!!

[officialpenisenvy]

clavicular = the protagonist of our tale. a frail man desperately clinging to the semblance of virile strength given to him by his looks but understood by most and even by his loyal followers to be a pathetic and clownish figure

almost caught a career-ending cortisol spike = almost had an anxiety attack that could've ruined his career and reputation as a streamer

after a larpmaxxed stacy = after a woman just as desperately pretending to be gorgeous and confident

tried jesterfying him on stream = attempted to make him into an object of ridicule in front of his live audience as he streamed

by calling him a good boy = by calling him a good boy (this is supposed to be sexually emasculating)

while he was mid-mog = while he was in the middle of winning a contest of unbothered masculinity

between 2 low-tier normies = between himself and two other young men less concerned with projecting an ill-conceived ideal of virility

at ASU = at arizona state university in fair tempe where we lay our scene

[pho-carrot]

[porz-deactivated20150219]

one time I had this dream that I logged on to amazon and my account had like negative four trillion dollars because i accidentally bought the city of Paris