Professional Procrastinator

it/he • multifandom • yearner

[tolkien-queer]

⟡ ݁ . ⊹ ₊ ݁Pinned Info ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁ ⟡ ݁

who are you?

greetings! you may call me aster, and i use it and he pronouns (preferred in that order, please!) i am a professional procrastinator, and throughout my career, i have decided that it is better to have a productive-ish thing to do while you are procrastinating. thus, i shall create fanworks.

TL;DR hi i'm aster, it/he, i write fanfic and make incorrect quotes.

are requests open?

hell yeah they are!! if you want character/reader, character & reader, or imagine-esque stuff, i'm your guy! you can also pop into my ask box at any time. drop headcanons or whatever :D i'm so lonely

awesome! where can i find your published works?

i'm on ao3 under the same username!

you're taking a long time to update. what's going on?

first of all, i'm a human with a life (barely lmao). second of all, i planned for this!! if you want to check what i'm working on at any given time, you can check my master doc

what are your limits for requests?

i write for the following fandoms (this list may expand in future. hyperfixations are, unfortunately, entirely unpredictable)

lord of the rings (obviously)

knives out

loki

agents of shield

now you see me

operation mincemeat

young sherlock

i don't do nsfw but i'll do fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, crack, and T-rated romance. or fade-to-black if that's your thing. i default to gender neutral reader (unless requested otherwise). i'll do pretty much any relationship pairing barring incest and pedophilia. if it sucks, well, i'm doing this for free, okay?

how does your tag system work?

the queer has hobbies: incorrect quotes, memes and silly fandom stuff the queer panics queerly: me having feelings about fictional characters the queer answers the inbox: exactly what it sounds like the queer is procrastinating: exactly what it sounds like the queer reads: take a wild frickin guess the queer draws: i suck at drawing the queer writes: writing process stuff the queer is on ao3: published works the queer runs a discord server: updates on my numerous (4) servers

yes, i refer to myself as “the queer” it was originally an affectionate nickname from @emmalvt and i do not consider it derogatory. you may also refer to me as such. (ex. "the queer wrote this awesome fanfic").

[tolkien-queer]

my masterpiece (previously mentioned here) is being written in gay chunks and betad by my gay friends. happy pride.

[carryonlikewedidbefore]

A sword is the perfect gender neutral gift.

[tolkien-queer]

- aragorn

[tolkien-queer]

how am i doing? (wip status - part 1)

from the desk of tolkien-queer - may 27th, 2026 [tl;dr is that i'm working on it, i promise!!! <3]

"on the rocks"

jack x reader hurt/comfort request is actually almost done!!! it'll be out some point next week :D

2. "you've got a friend in me" (subject to change lol)

about 1.1K of hobbit trauma is ready!! i was planning to write a second chapter/section before publishing but eh it's better than nothing

3. "lightly stabbed"

this aragorn x trans male!reader fic is in the process of being betad. warning: may suck as it was handwritten at 1am, then transcribed into docs.

4. "*dysmorphia*" (subject to change)

aragorn x insecure!reader. needs to be betad & retitled. it made @emmalvt cry so. i think that means i wrote it well

5. "monotony"

my long-unupdated autism4autism montlie fic!!! i'm going back in to make some edits, possibly rehaul the entire plot.

6. "MY COOL SECRET MASTERPIECE" (my personal favorite)

ys!james moriarty x self insert oc. yeah. BUT i'm doing a heckton of research to make this a masterpiece of epic proportions: basically each chapter makes a philosopher/writer's work (that the characters would have been familiar with) an allegory for what james is experiencing!! PLUS trans oc!!!! i'm so so excited to write this y'all don't even know. PLEASE ask me about it i'd be so so happy to tell you!!

7. "knives out 4"

this is going to be in screenplay format because yes. i can't spoil anything (bc there's no plot yet) but queerness and political commentary will abound. will i finish it? uhhhh

from the above it should be clear that i have quite a bit on my plate. expect slow updates, but do expect updates!!

[tolkien-queer]

SOLDIER BOY: Peregrin Took x Reader

- summary:“Would you miss me?” The question spills from your mouth far too lightly for the weight it carries. “Would I—you—what?” - wordcount: 635 - cw: self harm - a/n: originally handwritten. imported from my notebook lol...hope y'all are enjoying the great docs cleanse of 2026 memorial day weekend! more to come <3 - read on ao3!

“Would you miss me?” The question spills from your mouth far too lightly for the weight it carries. 

Pippin’s quarters in the White City are humble, but there is space enough for the two of you to sit sideways on his bed, legs hanging over the edge. There is even room to spare between you. Before you were stupid enough to open your mouth the silence was commiseratively gloomy. The hobbit smoothed his borrowed tunic, still getting used to the garb of a soldier. Yet he looked unprepared for inevitable battle. It was merely a waiting game— good would prevail, or evil. 

Sunlight peeked in from the small window that looks out to the courtyard. You drew your daggers, turned them in the light, grazed one across your palm. And the moment was anxious, but it was quiet, and it belonged to the two of you alone. 

From Pippin’s chest, the White Tree seemed to glare at you. As if he knew your thoughts he crossed his arms to cover it. Your companion clenched his fists and without warning moved, shrinking the gap between you. You tapped your feet on the floor contentedly. His closeness was a balm to your anxieties. You might have gotten too comfortable.

And you asked.

“Would I—you—what?” Pippin’s gaze flicks from the wall in front of him, to your too-blank expression, to the blade pressing too hard into your hand. 

It really was a pretty knife. The pair was Elvish and had served you well thus far, on this journey and others. The hilts were comfortable, the blades were engraved with floral patterning and Tengwar for “knife.” When Elrond finally translated the glyphs, everyone found it hilarious.

The look on Pippin’s face now was one that told you he found none of this funny. 

Metal breaks skin. Blood beads on your palm and runs down toward your wrist.

In an instant, he is on you: Pippin wrenches the blade away. It falls to the floor with a clatter. The loud sound seems to jolt you out of your stupor. Your eyes widen, and you move to leave the bed, to leave your blades, to leave him. But he is faster—Pippin holds fast to your uninjured hand with surprising strength.

“Look at me,” he pleads. You continue to struggle, anxious to get away away away.

Foolishly, you look back at him. And oh, his eyes hold a fear that pierces you— fear of what you would do to yourself if he let you go. That eye contact is just enough for you to stay. You fall into him, inadvertently smearing blood on the Tree on his chest as you clutch that tunic for dear life. Silent sobs wrack your body, but your eyes remain dry.

“Do you really have to ask?” Pippin murmurs. “I need you, alive and whole.” Tenderly, he takes your bloodied wrist (to assess the damage, you tell yourself). Gooseflesh rises on your shoulders. And you laugh, soft and low. “What?” Even now his voice is not annoyed, just confused.

“You wouldn’t find it funny, but… I can’t remember the last time I knew that someone cared.” Pippin stills his ministrations.

The cut is not deep, but his thumbs are stained where he probed at it. It is your turn to take his hand; blood encrusts his nails and the whorls of his fingertips. The sight fascinates you—it is beautiful in a strange way, your damage a deep stain on his skin.

He has not yet spoken and for a moment your anxiety once again overcomes the care in his touch. Pippin must see your hesitance, because he pulls your head into his lap and oh…

And the moment is painful, but it is soft, and it belongs to the two of you alone.

[tolkien-queer]

My returning hyperfixation

The Hunger Games.

They got a Haymitch book and movie coming oit soon and ooooooh boy.

And SAME. My exams start in 2 weeks and have yet to dive in my books and procrastination station has been turned on at max capacity right now.

i don't know much about the hunger games but i do enjoy woody harrelson he's awesome

guess who's supposed to be studying as we speak (hint it's me)

[tolkien-queer]

A MATTER OF TRUST: James Moriarty x Reader

- summary: “What have you eaten today, love?” The question is gentle but a sharp reminder of an ache in your stomach. Had you eaten? It was honestly hard to remember. - wordcount: ~1.1K - a/n: hello!! i'm back on my bullshit. here's a short little one-shot because i forgot to eat breakfast the other day and was like "james would want me to eat. but he'd be Weird about it i think" - dedicated to my lovely beta readers @skittlezthesillydino @transewenmontagu and @emmalvt - read on ao3!

A tinkle of your doorbell as it knocks against the wood, accompanied by a rush of cold air, drags you out of an hours-long mess of paperwork. It’s not possibly that late already, but the unmistakable susurrus of his coat forces your eyes up to James. And oh, isn’t he a sight, with his face flushed from the cold, hair sparkling with snow? He flashes a smile in your direction—the one meant for you and you only; the one that makes your stomach flutter no matter how many times you see it—and you rush to be close to him so that you can kiss the cold from his face. 

“Welcome home, Jamie,” you murmur playfully into his jaw. He bristles at the nickname yet continues to bask in your attention and warmth. That you care enough for him to deny him even a moment of discomfort is a treasure that James tucks away in a corner of his heart to admire later while he watches the rise and fall of your chest beneath his hands. 

James holds your cheek in one palm, reaching out with the other to hang up his coat. You take advantage of this and press him into the wall. The soft touches of your lips move further down his neck. Which is all fine and dandy until your legs buckle and you have to grip his lapels tighter in order to stay on your feet.

“Still make your knees weak, do I?” He’s always been so goddamn proud of his effect on you. At a shake of your head he pulls away, noticing that your features have taken on a distinctly pale hue. A frown spreads across his own face. His dark eyes flick down toward your shaking hands that still hold his jacket for dear life. 

“What have you eaten today, love?” The question is gentle but a sharp reminder of an ache in your stomach. Had you eaten? It was honestly hard to remember. James’ hand angles your face toward his with a tenderness that would make you cry if you weren’t so ashamed of yourself. Your avoidance of his gaze tells him everything he needs to know. You press your lips together meekly.

“Well…maybe a cup of tea around one…” His eyebrows pull together in concern. You squeeze your eyes shut, bracing for beratement. Or pity. Pity would be worse. Instead, you are turned sharply around by the shoulders and a cold hand pulls on your own. His voice is cheerful but not too loud. Because he knows how vulnerable you are right now.

“Come on now! I’ll make you some supper, and we can eat together, yeah?” Although he is smiling, James must notice your confusion, for his grip lessens slightly. He makes an inquisitive sound; you shake your head.

“You aren’t going to tell me it’s my fault for forgetting?” Your voice wavers. Now it is his turn to shake his head in confusion.

“Never; who would—?” He cuts himself off. Swallows. Forces a smile. Once again he tugs you by the hand; you let him. 

You can feel anxious eyes on you from across the table as you inhale your meal. A few times, James opens his mouth to speak but seems to think better of it. All of a sudden, he doesn’t. 

“You know I love you, hm?” Food momentarily forgotten, your concerned eyes pierce him and spur him to continue. He leans toward you and laces his fingers together on top of the table. 

“Because I would never blame you for forgetting. Of course, I am worried that you would have keeled over without my intervention. I worry for you because I love you. And I’m sorry if anyone ever told you it was your fault. If anything I blame myself for not being back earlier. When you need me, Sherlock can wait. To me you are infinitely more important. So important it scares me sometimes.” 

James stares down at his hands,  fidgets with his fingers and the gesture makes it clear that he’d been scared even to express it out loud. There is a sudden wetness on your face and you realize that you’re crying. He seems to notice at the same moment and rushes over to your side of the table. The sight of him on his knees for you makes you cry even harder. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he apologizes over and over. “I shouldn’t have said that. I shouldn’t have scared you like that, I—” James swallows and seems unable to continue. He takes the safe road and reaches for your hand. You squeeze, needing to feel him there and soft and not leaving you. He lets you. 

When you finally find it in you to speak your voice is scratchy and quiet. 

“I implore you not to blame yourself. You could never scare me, James. Because I trust you. And I love you.” With those four words, you can see in each others’ eyes that all is forgiven. You scrape the rest of your dish into the garbage disposal, and turn to see him still knelt next to your empty chair, eyes wet with gratitude and something neither of you can name but both know is a testament to the love you share. The sight makes an ache swell in your chest—but it is a good ache. That your unconditional trust has him like this is something you don’t take for granted. You sit back down and cradle his jaw in your palms. 

“Oh, James…” Your tender voice is a balm to his raw pride. He keens low in his throat and leans into your soft touch. Your hands slide down his neck, squeezing his shoulders as his head drifts to press against your thigh. The two of you sit like this awhile: him murmuring apologies and drying his tears on your trousers; you carding your fingers through his curls. Maybe you should “forget” to eat more often if this is what you get from him after, you muse.  

When the clock strikes a quarter to eleven, your eyes meet. James presses a swift kiss to your knee and you know it is his way of saying thank you. It is your turn to tug him by the hand, upstairs toward your shared bed. The both of you collapse fully clothed. The last thing James sees before his eyes close is the rise and fall of your chest, calm and trusting, beneath his hands.

He dreams of warm lips on his cold face.

@c3sonova

[tolkien-queer]

and if i cried about fili and kili's deaths being reduced to a single sentence in the original hobbit? what then?

[tolkien-queer]

@pocketofviolets said it best i think

[tolkien-queer]

imagine not having lotr mosaic trivets that you made with your own two hands

left is frodo sailing to valinor, right is my rendition of a hobbit hole! these were so so fun to make and i highly recommend mosaic to anyone who wants to do art but thinks they’re “not good enough”

[tolkien-queer]

insane set of notifications to wake up to

[tolkien-queer]

finally found @acorn-and-oakleaves discord

@beetletusked

[tolkien-queer]

Hi Aster! Any new hyperfixations?

My previous ones have been awakened again. 😬 Especially since there’s a new book and movie coming.

Have a sweet day!

Happy writings if you write 🍀

recently i've gotten into young sherlock and dónal finn, he's an amazing actor and singer and i highly recommend his work. what's your hyperfixation on??

i have studying to procrastinate on so i'll probably get a lot of writing done this weekend. thanks so much for the ask, have a great day/night!!!

[tolkien-queer]

Thoughts on Rings of Power?

haven't watched it yet! i've heard mixed reviews

[tolkien-queer]

i just asked a straight man who’s the most objectively attractive man in lotr and he said éomer.

[tolkien-queer]

@scyllas-revenge the straight man says "thank you"

[tolkien-queer]

@heartfullofwtf straight man says "thank you for calling me the male beauty standard"

[tolkien-queer]

i just asked a straight man who’s the most objectively attractive man in lotr and he said éomer.

[tolkien-queer]

@scyllas-revenge the straight man says "thank you"

[tolkien-queer]

INCORRECT QUOTES 14/? | PREVIOUS | NEXT

@foolofamidkemian @viaticpancakes @sdragon-99 @strangled-mangoes @ithinkthatyouarejustagrin if you want to be added/removed from the tag list please let me know!

[tolkien-queer]

i just asked a straight man who’s the most objectively attractive man in lotr and he said éomer.