toma aliento

hakim's travel blog. view my résumé at:

[tomaaliento]

The Journey Home

40 days, 40 nights since we set off on this trip. It was a pretty big time of transition in my life, and still is, as I prepare to change universities in the fall. I made the decision to do this literally days before we left for this trip, which sent me into a whirlwind of paperwork and necessary communications hours before leaving the country. I chose to leave everyone and everything behind, twice. Now, looking back on all of this on the very last day of our journey, despite being one of the most difficult decisions I have ever made, I can see the perfection in the way it all happened. 

It's been 40 days of backpacking, and while this wasn't my first experience living as such it was my first time traveling with a partner. Nick and I have both loved this trip, and we've got along splendidly, but by the final portion we were both ready to go home. After hiking Volcán Telica in León, Nicaragua (see last post), we headed south to Isla Ometepe to visit an old friend who I met on my gap year. Intending to stay only a weekend, we found ourselves in such good company that we ended up staying 8 days. 

We had both expended nearly all our funds during our time in Utila, and it was so wonderfully comforting to spend time with my friend Alcides and his family, as they welcomed us into their home and showed us infinite hospitality. Much can be said about this week, as much happened: Nick learned to ride a motorcycle as we careened around a dormant volcano on dirt roads, I got the worst hangover I have ever experienced and a subsequent 48-hour fever, did some woodworking, and visited the spiritual community that was my home for a time during my gap year.

Oh, and by the way we ran with 10 raging bulls as part of a local celebration! About 50 local men had scaled a wire fence and were running around taunting yet carefully avoiding a bunch of angry bulls that had been released into the arena. It was the strangest show of man vs. animal that I have ever seen, with a strong machismo undertone. We decided to give it a shot. Here we are in the arena:

Despite all this fun we had to move on, still yearning to return home. We bid goodbye to good friends, moving down the coast to Sámara, Costa Rica. As always the transition from Nicaragua to Costa Rica was shocking, as brightly colored chicken buses gave way to shiny greyhound-like buses and the number of personal cars on the road skyrockets. Sámara is a small beach town where we found ourselves struggling to stay within our budget, holding on for dear life as the final days approached. The goal was to refrain from using the ATM until we met up with my parents, also on vacation in Costa Rica, a few days before the flight. We managed to stay close, but Costa Rican price tags are nearly the same as the U.S. - something I forgot to account for. Still, we managed to find some absolutely gorgeous places:

We surfed, talked some politics with a British Marine, and went on a foraging expedition to a nearby beach where we encountered a crocodile infested estuary.

Finally, after 18 hours traveling, we made it home to Boston Logan International, maybe just a little bit ready to go home.

Thanks for reading, as always, it's a pleasure to share the adventure! 

Much love,

Noah

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Active Volcán Telica in León, Nicaragua. Largest crater I've ever seen! 5 hour hike, hammock camping and hot dogs at the top, and met some cool Spaniards on the way. No guide, just following the trusty GPS!

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100 feet under the sea.

After five days of dive school and hanging out in paradise, I’m now a PADI Advanced Open Water Diver, and Nick has his Open Water certification! The advanced course was only two days and consisted mostly of adventure dives (night dive, wreck dive, navigation dive, deep dive, etc), but Nick is only just today finishing his Open Water Certification. He was a bit disappointed that he had to spend most of the week in class, but today is his first Open Water dive to 18 meters! It was an expensive excursion, costing nearly half our budget for the trip, but I think both of us agree that it was worth it. I may never have another opportunity to dive here in the second largest reef in the world!

We’re planning on heading down to Leon, Nicaragua on Sunday or Monday to hike some volcanoes and visit friends on Isla Ometepe. Only 2.5 weeks left!

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Utila, Bay Islands, Honduras. Diving the deep blue sea.

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The Bay Islands, Honduras

We arrived Sunday on Utila, a tiny island off the coast of Honduras famous for notoriously cheap diving and surrounded by the second largest coral reef in the world- just behind the Great Barrier Reef in Australia. We’re diving with Parrot’s Dive Center- Nick is getting his PADI Open Water and I’m working toward my Advanced Open Water certification. So far it’s been a blast, and we’ve still got a week left here. If we stay long enough we could catch the famous Sun Jam, a once in a lifetime chance to go to a tropical EDM music festival. We’ll see how that turns out. Photos will follow soon!

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On the road again: Cobán to el Rancho to El Florido to Chiquimula to Copán. Photos of the Mayan Ruins in Copán Ruinas, Honduras.

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Project Genesis Update

In my last post, I spoke of the dire situation Ricardo was facing. Since then, we have raised over $1000 to keep the project going for a few more weeks! This is an incredible accomplishment, and was only possible through the generosity of precious volunteers at the project and their families. I created a facebook group and added all the volunteers from years past, explaining to them the situation. Here is a transcript of one of my most recent posts in the group:

“Just to let everyone know: it was literally thanks to you guys that Ricardo is at Project Genesis today. You have raised enough money to continue the project for several more weeks at full capacity. In the meantime, I’ll be continuing to look for long term sources of funding- something you can all help out with as well. Contact any organizations or foundations that you know of that may be able to provide a steady stream of help for this amazing social project. Ricardo also needs a salary, for without the ability to feed his family he cannot come to help these kids every day. Right now he is in debt, and has already spent all his savings on the project. Just one source of long term funding would provide him with enough stability to continue looking for more sources of funding, which could help grow the project and ensure that this community is continually lifted from the cycle of poverty. This is a rare opportunity for us as (mostly) residents of more developed nations- we are being told exactly how we can help by a man who knows what is needed for his own country and these kids. Often we can fall victim to the "voluntourism” industry which is a mechanism by which white people tend to benefit even more from the poverty of others. Not so with Project Genesis. We are needed, and we are making a real difference, all through supporting the efforts of Ricardo Armas, who is probably the most capable and hardworking man I have ever met. I trust him with my life, so obviously I trust him with my money. I encourage you to explain this to your friends and family, and together we can keep moving this project forward. Thank you from the bottom of my heart to everyone who has already donated or gotten people to do so!“

If you would like to donate, or know someone who would be able to help, give them the following link: https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/project-genesis-emergency-help#/ You can also reach out to me at [email protected]

Thanks for reading!

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Photos from Semuc Champey and Lanquín, Guatemala. One of the most beautiful places I've ever been!

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Project Genesis Reunion

After two years, yesterday was the first time that I got to see the kids at Proyecto Genesis. I had forgotten how much I missed them. There are many new faces, as a lot of kids left the project either because they don’t want to study if they don’t get free stuff, or because they have to work. Still, I remember many of the kids and several of the ones that I was most close to are still there. 

Ricardo is having a hard time keeping the project running- he had to close down twice due to lack of funds. He’s poured his own savings into the project yet again, and is now in debt because of this. I am kind of at a loss as to how to help, since I’ve already asked everyone I know for donations, and I can’t support the project myself. Still, it’s hard to see how important financial help is and not donate. I’m going to buy some paper and school supplies, but beyond that I think I’ll have to reach out to previous volunteers to see if they can create their own crowdfunding campaigns. 

The truck that I helped fundraise for last year is beautiful, and it is able to transport nearly all the kids on the way to the school. A huge success on that front. Here’s a photo of about 20 kids stuffed into the 4-door pickup:

 Listening to Ricardo talk about his experience trying to raise funds has been incredibly eye-opening. As a Guatemalan man running an NGO in his own country, he feels (and rightfully so) that those giving money should not be telling him how to spend it. This is a problem that he has encountered many times, with different organizations (mostly run by white people) trying to control how he runs his project. This ugly side of “voluntourism” has reared its head to me before, but Ricardo articulates it very clearly. “It’s my country,” he says. “I love these kids...I know how to support this community best. Who are they to tell me what I need to do?” He refers specifically to a problem that he has had with his previous partner organization, Maximo Nivel, a language school connected to International Volunteer Headquarters that sends volunteers to various projects around Antigua. I myself was sent as part of their program two years ago. Maximo receives about $500/week for each volunteer that it hosts, but none of that money makes it to the projects they support, nor do they pay their host families sufficiently. They are a for-profit business with a bottom line that supersedes all humanitarian goals they may have. The real problem occurred when some volunteers (including myself) raised nearly $10,000 for the project and sent it to Ricardo within a period of three days. Maximo heard about this, and demanded that Ricardo hand over all the money to them so they could “manage it responsibly.” Ricardo obviously refused, and he has only received 6 volunteers from Maximo ever since. This has made it infinitely more difficult for Ricardo to maintain the project, but it has also opened the way for him to become closer to the children. He says that the oldest ones have stepped up to help out and teach the younger ones, and that they really understand that it takes an enormous effort from Ricardo to keep coming every single day. 

 I plan on working with Ricardo this week to learn more about how to overcome the “voluntourist” trap and be a successful volunteer organizer. In the past, this has looked like raising funds (for the truck, etc), and also helping to make connections with possible donors and volunteers in the US. I may also create a new website for the project this coming year, as the old one has fallen into disrepair. This would give me valuable experience to add to my design resume, while at the same time helping greatly with the project.

Thanks for reading, Noah (and Nick!)

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Our first full day in Antigua was a blast. We visited my host mom Maria from my gap year, spending the afternoon playing with her young nephews and eating tons of delicious food. She insisted we finish our stay with tequila shots, making the long walk home a bit more interesting. Maria's house is located in Jocotenango, a small town outside Antigua where nary a white face is to be found- which I always find to be more enjoyable. My best friends from my gap year are still the locals that I met along the way, many of whom we will be visiting on this trip! Tomorrow we are off to project Genesis to introduce Nick to the kids.

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We're on our way to Guatemala! First stop: Antigua to visit the kids at Project Genesis. For those of you who were following me on my gap year, this is my best friend Nick, who is my travel partner this time. Stay tuned for more photos when we arrive! -Noah

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NGO People Come Home

“You should show my pictures to the other kids so they can see what life is like here,” I type over Facebook in Spanish, taking extra care to match my feminine and masculine pronouns.

“I don’t have a computer or phone to show them on,” Jonaton types back. “Besides, you’ll be back here in a year or so.” His response is heartbreaking, as I really have no idea if I’ll ever be able to come back. Jonaton is 15, the oldest of a group of children that became my family in Guatemala this past year. I worked closely with them for three months, teaching English, math and playing games, and when it came time to leave I was crying as much as the kids were. Jonaton is the only one out of all of them that has a Facebook account- he uses a small internet store in town, paying a few quetzales for 15 or 30 minutes on the computer. Though he is only 15 years old, he is already an adult and holds a steady job repairing motorcycles in Chimaltenango. He is strong, independent, and loves futból more than anything.

“I would very much like to see you here again next year,” he says, his stark honesty a contrast to the diffident exterior he displays in person. I often don’t know what to say to him when he messages me on facebook asking what I’m doing, where I am, what it’s like inside my house. I am acutely aware of the disparity between my life and his, between the childhood I cherished and the one that he never had. He is four years younger than me and yet already more responsible. I tell him that I’ll do as he asks, upload photos of my house, of my family, but I know I never will. I wonder if he knows this too.

“You know that I hope you will return to the project because I miss you just like all the other kids and I hope that you never forget us.” His words sting somewhere under my ribcage. Perhaps I know that I am slowly returning to my normal life, that I might forget what it was like to live with them, stop feeling the pang of guilt because it is easier to forget, to move on. It is easier to feign ignorance than to look at each meal and think, “why do I have so much, and they so little? Why must they struggle while my life here is so simple?” Still, I convince myself and say no, I will not forget, I will not move on.

            Adjusting back to my life in Massachusetts was not easy, but time has a way of softening the edges of things. After a few weeks back home I began to take for granted the privileges that earlier seemed so unforgivable. The only connections I still had were Jonaton, and Ricardo- the man who started Project Genesis. I began to work on a documentary about the project, which made me feel like I was still helping, that I still could make a difference in these kids’ lives. But throughout it all, I still felt guilty for leaving, as if somehow I was obligated to stay in Guatemala and live with these kids forever- which I know is not what I am meant to do. I think the wisdom comes in finding the balance between genuinely helping the host community, and also fulfilling one’s own purpose for being there. For me, this purpose was to learn the pain of loving someone to whom you cannot offer help. It was to experience what it is like to truly live in someone else’s shoes, and to do the best you can with what you’re given.

“We Need New Names,” by NoViolet Bulawayo, really helped me process some of the feelings that I had when I returned from my trip. At the end of the book NoViolet Bulawayo writes, “Darling is Zimbabwean, but it is my hope that she is also Mexican and Indian and British, that she is from anywhere else where people live and hope and dream and leave. I hope she speaks to you.” Darling spoke to me when I had to censor myself when talking to Jonaton. She spoke to me because I knew that if I provided him with too much hope about America that he might try to make the journey up here, to find me, and if he did he might not survive. I wished I could talk to him like my brother and say, “Yes, Jona, it is wonderful here, come join me in the land of opportunity,” but I could not. Perhaps the hardest part of coming home was that I could not share my life with those children.

 I will always love the kids from Project Genesis, and I will never forget them. But they will forget me, and I have to be okay with that. Perhaps one day I will return, and when I do I will see a project that has grown far greater than the small school in which I worked during my gap year- and I am excited for that day. For now, I can only continue working to better their lives from my home in the United States, offering what help I can through fundraising and communications. But always I think of their sweet little hugs and tiny, radiant smiles.

My gap year is definitely over, as I head off to college this Wednesday. Each of my experiences abroad this year have changed me so much that I consider myself a different person at each stage of the year. There was the Noah that went to Guatemala after surviving his first truly difficult break-up. There was the Noah that came back from Guatemala, only to find himself changed even more than he thought, as he began to work on his first documentary film. There was the Noah who put his head down and worked a shitty job for the long, cold, Massachusetts winter in order to fund his next adventure. And then there was the Noah who found that adventure at the bottom of a pool of hopelessness. The next Noah was the one that went to Nicaragua to find peace and community and Earth-connection. The Noah that came after him realized that he had access to those things at home all along. And finally there is the Noah who is writing this today, the Noah who still has no clue what his place in the world is, or WHO he is, or what he is doing going to College. But this Noah is different, this one is okay with the not knowing. He has accepted that things might not work out the way he expected, but they will always work out the way they need to. I pray that all those reading this may discover the same.

Peace and love and adventure to you all,

Noah

PS: I just might keep writing through college, but perhaps I’ll start a new blog. I’ll keep you posted.

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Gap Year Over? Not A Chance.

Well guys, I’m PADI Open Water Certified, and ready to come on home! I missed the last bus to San Jose, so I stopped off in Puerto Viejo for the night, and I’m planning on heading out to San Jose in the morning where I’ll catch a bus to Managua. Of course, if we can get the airline to change my flight to leave from San Jose, that would be even better. Right now it’s still up in the air (pun intended). So I guess this concludes my gap year?

Wrong. While this year is technically coming to a close, the lessons that I have begun to learn will continue. I’ve been almost everywhere in Central America (excluding Honduras and Belize), yet everywhere I went I found that my own personal growth had nothing to do with my physical location. No matter how much I searched for new and exciting experiences, I found the most basic ones to be the most rewarding. No matter how many people I met, I found that their nationality had nothing to do with how much we could learn from each other, or how much we would get along. No matter how many people thought I was a hippy, I slept in hammocks everywhere I went. And you know why? Because it’s comfortable and cheap, that’s why.

The point is,  I can stay connected via facebook with my friends from all around the globe- meaning I have couches to sleep on in many many places. I’ve made friends with people from Costa Rica, Guatemala, Nicaragua, Panama, Germany, Australia, France, Canada, Sweden, Finland, Russia, and more. And while I only stayed with some of these people for a few days, I consider them all to be my global family. There is quite a difference between meeting someone at home and meeting someone on the road- the latter lends a certain vulnerability to the new friendship, since we are all in the same boat. We are often tired, lonely, and usually a bit crazy.

But we are never lost, as long as we remember that wherever we go, there will be a brother or sister waiting there for us. Cliche though it may be, I now consider myself a citizen of the world, and when people ask me where I’m from I have a slightly harder time answering. I usually say that I live in the US, but that doesn’t really mean as much to me anymore.

I learned more in the past year than I ever have in a classroom, and certainly more than I would have at home. So if you’re reading this as a high school student, here's my advice: take a year off. Work a shitty job for a while- you’ll learn a lot from that. Live with your parents for a while- you’ll learn a lot from that too. Live by yourself for a while- whether it be abroad or near home. And if at all possible, travel for a while- you’ll learn more from that than any other experience you’ve ever had. But remember: a good traveler has no plans and is not intent on arriving. 

Many blessings for future travels,

No

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ESTAS EN PANAMÁ? BAJA OTRO POQUITO EN EL MAPA!!!!

Ya no puedo! tengo un avión el lunes pero quisiera bajarme hasta el colombia :(

la proxima vez...

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Oops, I left my blog behind.

So it appears that I have neglected to continue updating this blog for quite some time. I am currently in Bocas Del Toro, Panama.

To recap, I went from Ometepe Nicaragua straight down to San Jose, Costa  Rica, where I spent a night in a backpacker hostel and explored the city a little. Unimpressed, I hopped on a bus down to Puerto Viejo, a small afro-caribbean beach town full of Reggae and surfers. I was surprised to see how developed Costa Rica is compared to the rest of Central America- it almost appeared like home at times. There were streetlights, and real highways, and everyone drove a car that didn’t look like it was about to fall apart! These are amazing things for someone who has gotten used to the Guatemalan and Nicaraguan ways of life. The minimum wage in Costa Rica is three times that of Nicaragua, and the prices of everything from a beer to a hostel reflect that. 

I stayed in Puerto Viejo for 5 days, continuing my record of not sleeping in a bed for over a month- I stayed in a hammock dorm for a few dollars. I find sleeping in hammocks to be much more comfortable and cozy than a plain old bed. In fact, after getting so used to hammock life, lying down on flat surfaces seems unnatural! 

I made some good friends in Puerto Viejo, and together we went camping on the beach in the middle of the jungle in a nearby town called Manzanillo. There were five of us, and we had one two-person tent and two hammocks between us. The night was pleasant and we had one of the most beautiful camping spots that I have ever seen, right on the beach overlooking an incredible Caribbean reef formation. I was with myself, my travel partner from Inanitah (the farm in Nicaragua), two people I had met from the hostel in Puerto Viejo (one Australian, one from Oregon), and two Russians (one of whom spoke no English or Spanish). Aside from a slight struggle to make a fire in the rain, as well as a few ant bites, the whole experience went fairly smoothly.

I had planned to begin working my way back up toward Managua to catch my flight, but my friends from the hostel were going to Panama and I decided to hop on down there with them. We took a quick shuttle down across the border, and then a boat out to the islands of Bocas Del Toro, Panama. This is where I am as I write. 

Upon arriving in Bocas, we found the cheapest accommodation we could- some guy’s house that had a few extra rooms that he rented out. We struck a deal with him for 6 dollars per night since there were three of us. The next day we explored the island a bit, and my Australian friend and I decided to get our PADI Open Water Diving Certification. It is a three day course, and it is cheaper here than almost anywhere else in the world. I have never gone diving before, and never really had a desire to but I thought it would be a good experience to have- and for such a good price, how could I say no? Besides, the water here is crystal clear and the Caribbean is beckoning. I begin tomorrow with a really friendly instructor who is the manager of the hostel and the dive center. We struck a deal with him as well, and they allowed us to hang up our own hammocks for just 5 dollars per night. Sometimes it is nice to be a backpacker!

I’ll update again once the dive course is over, but I plan on heading back to Managua on Saturday to catch my flight on Monday. I am sure it will be absolutely disorienting to be back in the States so soon, but at the same time I am looking forward to coming home. I have learned so much on this trip that I have yet to process, and it takes time to do so. 

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Two Weeks Left

When and where did my pre-programmed response to authority take over? When did freedom become more important than love? Why couldn’t I put my whole heart into this place? These questions have become the focus of my now prominent introspection. It has been more than a month since I stepped foot in Ometepe, and apart from a few afternoon excursions the entirety of that time has been spent here at Inanitah. I have deepened my relationship to the Earth, as well as my ability to exist as a member of a community. But it certainly hasn’t been easy. If you have never lived in intentional community with a group of others, you may have a hard time imagining what it is like. There is little that compares to the powerful closeness and love that come out of living this way, but the conflicts that arise can also be equally intense. It can be very difficult to find the fine line between the needs of the community and the needs of the individual, the need for self-expression. Inanitah in particular has its own challenges, including the difficulty that the diet poses for many people. The kitchen is based on philosophies of health, locality, and organic ingredients. Almost everything in the kitchen comes either from the garden, or from the neighbors. Cooking with oil is not allowed because of a philosophy that is still unclear to me. Protein can be very hard to come by, as meat is not allowed to be cooked in the kitchen, and we only get fish once weekly that is brought in pre-cooked. Soy is not allowed, eggs are rare and only for communal meals, which leaves fruits and vegetables as essentially the only things we can eat on our own. Overall, it hasn’t been too much of a problem, but it can be frustrating to be paying for three meals a day, receive only two, and still have to source my own food. 

I have found myself involved in altercations about many simple things in the last month that in any other situation would be ludicrous, but when living in community they have a tendency to blow out of proportion. The nature of the personality types that are attracted to a place like this can also add to the mix- it takes someone with quite a lot of chutzpah who wants to exit society and create a community that embodies the ideals of tantric practice, permaculture, and spirituality. This isn’t to say that it isn’t possible, just that it can be difficult to stay with the intended goals.

I realize that I am being a bit cryptic, but I don’t wish to muse solely on the struggles associated with living in a community. Rather, I am trying to focus on the lessons that I have learned as a result of these difficulties. I have learned a great deal about how to find the balance between love and truth. I have learned how to accept the things that are out of my control. I am learning to let go of my need to plan, and instead to ride the wave of ecstatic beauty that is the unknown. These lessons will be with me for the rest of my life, and for that I am grateful.

On Monday morning, I will leave this place and head once again into the great unknown. This time, I have no plan as to where I will end up. Instead, I will go to the bus station and take it from there. I could end up in Costa Rica, or Honduras, or back in Guatemala. Or I could stay here in Nicaragua. Only time will tell.

I ask for your prayers and good intentions for my last two weeks abroad- the final part of my gap year. Thank you for staying with me on this journey through this blog, and I look forward to sharing my adventures with you for these last few weeks!

Blessings,

Noah

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Oneness

The principles of permaculture and indeed of ecological living are beautiful and inspiring, but often in the past I had felt that they were somewhat fantastic, that it would be too hard to live in such a way in the modern world. Today, I am reminded that this is not so. I am experiencing life in a place where almost no waste is produced, where nearly everything is recycled and reused, and where everything is created by and coexists with nature. I cannot wait to share what I am learning with you all, but for now I wanted to express my hopefulness that this vision really can be manifested, and in a way that perhaps has never existed before. Here at Inanitah, many wonderful principles are implemented, indeed even held within a spiritual consciousness. But like any community, it is not perfect (nor should it be).

The Earth holds so much love for each of us, and it is incredible how empowering it is to feel that every day. Imagine living in a world where we never have to be separate from the Earth, from God, from Pacha-mama, from each other. This world exists, and I am experiencing a small part of it right now. Imagine waking up early in the morning and going to buy milk from your neighbor, Maria, whose cows are raised on the land and eat only what grows naturally in their fields. Imagine walking up the hill to another neighbor to buy Grapefruits, Zapote, Ginger, Mangos, and a myriad of other products which are all grown Organically and are the lushest you have ever tasted. Imagine returning home to pick a salad directly from the beautiful garden that is tended by the whole community, each with their own projects and favorite plants. Such is the world that I am living in, and I have hope that all on Earth may be able to experience it too.

I am describing these things to help all to envision what it feels like to belong to the Earth again. I had lost this feeling, as many who live in the Western world have. When I experience myself as undivided from the whole, a bit of my separation from the Whole is healed. The challenge for me now will be to hold this understanding within me even back home in the US. I hope that my words will encourage the hope within us all, the hope for something greater to be possible, the longing to feel our oneness. 

Much love to all,

Noah