Aries: Bitch get ready to catch these hands // Me, an intellectual: You, the reprehensible individual who is in need of penance, prepare yourself for physical conflict!
Taurus: Boi I’m hungry as fuq // Me, an intellectual: Companion who I am currently associating myself with: my flesh vestige requires nutrients which can only be obtained from edible substances
Gemini: I’m boutta talk hella shit // Me, an intellectual: I am about to perform a long and rather frivolous oration where I badmouth unsuspecting individuals whilst labeling them with insulting, derogatory terms
Cancer: I honestly just need someone to hold me while I sleep // Me, an intellectual: My most paramount of desires is a human who provides me with a surge of oxytocin as he or she embraces me as I willingly fall into unconsciousness
Leo: Hmu if you’re down to hang tonight // Me, an intellectual: Please, feel welcome to send me a message via electronically or verbally if you so desire to socialize and experience verbal stimuli by being in my company when the moon is high.
Virgo: P sure i just slayed that test // Me, an intellectual: The content in that exam was rudimentary, and I am confident that I was able to deliver an A-level grade from that assessment with ease
Libra: Damn, she thicc // Me, an intellectual: My goodness, words cannot express the copious amounts of infatuation I feel for this individual with larger-than-usual hips and exquisite body proportionality!
Scorpio: Call me daddy, baby girl // Me, an intellectual: I implore you, whom I feel a rather dark, specific fetish for, to call me your father, so I may freely exert my sexual dominance over you, void of restraint
Sagittarius: This shit boutta be hella littttt // Me, an intellectual: This event filled with novel stimuli is about to become exceptionally entertaining, and my brain shall flood with endorphins as a result of it!
Capricorn: Fuck off // Me, an intellectual: Please, exclude yourself from my periphery so I may not be fettered by the presence of your perturbing existence
Aquarius: Me, an intellectual // Me, an intellectual: It is I, a person who finds satisfaction and entertainment from information that requires higher levels of mental processing
Pisces: He was low-key daddy asf // Me, an intellectual: This visually-symmetrical male exhibited abstract characteristics which made him sexually appealing in a not-so-evident manner
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