How To Know You're Aromantic
Trying to figure out if your aromantic can be hard, and recently one of my friends had a thought that they could be aromantic so this post is for them. We will first try to define romantic attraction.
What Is Romantic Attraction? To put it simply, when you are romantically attracted to someone, you want to do romantic things with them. Now this definition doesn't really give us much information. To use a better definition, romantic attraction is when you desire to be emotionally close to someone. This desire to be emotionally close shouldn't be confused with the desire to be emotionally close with friends. To distinguish the two, desire to be emotionally close with friends is when you want to share secrets with someone and cuddle and be able to tell anything. The desire to be romantically emotionally close with someone is the desire for them to be there no matter what and like the previous relationship, want to do romantic coded things with them. Also, romantically emotionally close is when you want to be closer than friends are. Not everything is coded with romance. Wanting to hold hands could be sensual (wanting to just touch someone 'cause you can) or it could be romantic (wanting to be emotionally close with them).
How To Know You're Aromantic ° You are fine with not having a relationship at all except for friends
° You don't understand when people (not media) talks about falling in love
° You often think that love just isn't for you
° People call you cold hearted when you reject them because you do it with no regard to their romantic feelings
° You don't see the point of romantic relationships
° You see a long term partner as more of a friend
° You think that you might have commitment issues
Things That Don't Make You Not Aromantic • Wanting to touch someone (hold hands, cuddle, etc). That can come under sensual attraction
• Feeling butterflies in your stomach around someone. Butterflies happen when your nervous and you can get nervous for events or around people your sexually attracted to
• Not minding being in a romantic relationship. For some aromantics, we are fine with doing romantic things as often it involves no emotions for us
• Liking romantic media. You can read and watch romantic books and shows and that doesn't make you any less aromantic
• Liking the idea of romance. To quote Cavetown "often I am upset that I can not fall in love" and this is definitely true for aromantics who like the idea of romance.
Disclaimer!!! You could be aromantic and not experience any of this or on the flip side you could be alloromantic (not aromantic) and experiences all of this. Some people are late bloomers and if you are a teenager you should keep this in mind. I'm not saying to can't identify as aromantic as a teenager, just that you should keep in mind that some people are late bloomers.
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