im sorry. ||sebastian stan x reader.
warnings: cursing, mentions of sex
i was in a depressed mood when i wrote this. yikes. enjoy!!
you sat on the ledge of your bay window. watching the rain fall against the glass. you sighed, missing the feeling of sebastian’s warm arms wrapped around your waist, holding you as close as possible. you missed the scent of his cologne, you missed his goofy jokes, and that smirk, you always missed that fucking smirk. you missed the way he would make your knees weak just by smiling. he was the one thing in your life that was perfect. until one day. you had a fight, a big fight. one that ended in him leaving you in your shared apartment choking out his name, begging him to stay. your mind drifted off to that day.
it was two forty-six in the afternoon, the sun was high in the sky and the birds were chirping. you sat on the couch watching an episode of your favorite show. sebastian stormed through your front door, scaring you to death, “jesus, seb. what the hell?” he says nothing all he does is hold up his phone. you squint to see it better. on the screen there’s a picture of you and your friend, andrew. andrew is known for being a class A dick to most people but he was one of your best friends from childhood.
the day that picture was taken, andrew was being a bit ballsy. he was flirty all day and no matter how many times you told him your weren’t into him he still tried over and over again. he stopped you on the sidewalk and kissed you. you gasped and pulled away almost immediately and slapped him. however, you were too late. the paparazzi had already gotten what they wanted. you stormed off and walked back home. you knew sebastian would see the photos soon so you had to hurry. you called seb over forty times but each call was sent to voicemail. you had no choice but to sit on the couch and and wait.
“seb, i can explain. please just listen to me.” you said softly. “you know i never trusted that guy but i still let you hangout with him because he means a lot to you. but now he does this? i could kill him, i swear.” he’s seething. his face was red, teeth gritted, jaw clenched, and knuckles white. “seb, please calm down.” you walked over and touched his arm. he pulled it away so fast that it almost hit you. you jerked back, surprised. “you want me to calm down? the woman that i love more than anything is out there making out with guys that aren’t me! how the fuck am i supposed to be calm right now, y/n!” you’ve never seen him this mad. it was a foreign sight. “let me explain!” “there’s nothing to explain! it’s all right here!” he flips through the magazine until he lands on the page with my pictures on it. “y/n y/l/n was seen getting frisky with a man named andrew. the two were spotted walking downtown all day. getting ice cream, watching a movie and shopping. however, y/n isn’t single! she’s “dating” the avengers infinity war actor, sebastian stan.” he reads the dialogue off of the page “sebastian! that’s a fucking magazine article you can never trust what they write. please just hear me out!” your eyes began to fill with tears as you watched him roughly run a hand through his hair. “i can’t even fucking look at you right now.” he turned his back to you. you watched as he breathed rapidly, his shoulders rising and falling with every quick breath he took. you slowly walked over to his tall frame and reached a hand up to place it on his left shoulder. “stop fucking touching me!” you pulled your hand away quickly and lowered you head. sebastian turned towards the stairs and swiftly made his way up stairs. you followed him into your bedroom. both of your clothes were still strewn about from last night’s events. your attention was brought back to your boyfriend as you watched him grab a duffle bag from the shelf of his closet. “what are you doing?” you asked with a shaky voice. he didn’t answer instead he shoved past you to the dresser under your tv. he shoveled clothes into the small bag and made his way to the bathroom. taking his toothbrush and toothpaste and storming back downstairs. you ran after him. he walked towards the door, “sebastian.” you said weakly. you were so close to breaking down. “i’m leaving.” it was those words that sent you to your breaking point. you fell to your knees and sobbed “please, baby. we can talk. please don’t leave me your all i have. please.” you said each word between sobs. he looked down at you and tears began to fill his eyes. he blinked and turned around to open the door. “sebastian! please!” your voice could barely yell. it was like a dream where your running from the monster but you can’t move. you were stuck and the one good thing in your life was the only thing moving further and further away from you. he slammed the door in your face and you got up and ran outside. he was already in his car. you heard the engine rev and he pulled away quickly. you stood there shocked and in tears.
your body shuddered at the one week old memory. in the past week you’d sent him 138 text messages and left him as many voicemails you could until it filled up. you brought your knees closer to your chest and looked to your right at your rose gold iphone 7 plus. you reached over to pick it up and dialed the number that was tattooed into your brain. the call went straight to voicemail, you furrowed your brows and tried to call him again. still straight to voicemail. then it hit you. he blocked your number. you sighed deeply and looked around your bedroom. every inch of this room had a memory. the bed; the first time you and sebastian had made love, the carpet next to the bed; where sebastian fell off the bed and you had to get him an ice pack for his head, the bathroom; where you walked in on sebastian singing in the shower, the closet; where sebastian blindfolded you and picked you out an outfit (he ended up picking a red lacy piece of lingerie). you didn’t even notice you were crying until a warm tear made its way down your cheek. you sniffled and decided to stop crying over him. you needed to distract yourself so you threw on a light blue sundress and some sandals. you walked down stairs and grabbed your car keys. you sat in your white volkswagen jetta and pondered over where to go. you wanted to talk to sebastian but you couldn’t. so instead, you called your best friend, chris. you clicked the call button and waited for him to pick up.
“hey chris. are you alone?”
“uh, one second. okay now i am.”
“good. okay so seb blocked my phone number and he also blocked me on every single social media account. i need to talk to him but i don’t know how to.”
“okay. hmm. listen, i’m with him right now so i could just give him the phone saying it’s someone else and then you could try to talk to him.’’
“oh my god! why didn’t you tell me?!”
“sorry. do you want to do that or no?”
“yeah give him your phone.”
your stomach did somersaults as you waited to hear his voice that sounded like sex itself.
“h-hey, seb. it’s me. please, please, please don’t hang up.”
“what do you think i want? i want you, baby. please meet at the cafe around the corner. we need to talk. you can’t just avoid me forever.”
you put your car into drive and made your way to the cafe. you pulled up to the small cafe that you and sebastian had met in over 3 years ago. you ordered a small iced coffee and sat at a table nestled in the back of the quiet room. you sat alone for 15 minutes praying he would show up. everytime the bell above the door jingled you perked up only to be let down. 10 more minutes passed until you finally saw him saunter into the cafe. you looked at him and guilt ripped through your entire body. he looked like hell. his eyes were red and dark circles were prominent under his bright blue eyes. his brown hair was a disheveled mess. he looked like he hadn’t slept for days and it was all your fault. you watched as he slowly walked to you. he pulled out the chair and sat. he lowered his head down and took a shaky breath in. you brought your hand up and started to lightly massage his scalp. “seb?” “hmm?” “im sorry.” he looked up at you, “why did you do it?” “i didn’t kiss him. he kissed me. i tried telling him that i wasn’t into him but he never listened. i tried calling you after it happened but you weren’t answering and then when you got home you wouldn’t let me explain and i’ve never seen you that angry and i was scared and then you left and i felt like i died and i just love you and please believe me. please.” you rambled on. none of what you said made sense but sebastian seemed to understand. he grabbed your shaking hands. “calm down, y/n. i’m right here. i believe you.” “you do?” “yes.” “i still hate that guy and your never allowed to see him again because if he so much as touches you i will beat the shit out of him.” “deal.” “i love you.” you told him for the billionth time. “i love you too.”
ok i didn’t really proof read this well so there might be some mistakes but yeah.
