Looks So Nasty In those Khakis @tookieclothespen - Tumblr Blog

Justin McElroy’s unfortunately scheduled spaghetti tweet getting posted as the capitol was being invaded by right wing domestic terrorists is the only thing that has genuinely made me laugh in the last 24 hours

I mean:

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PS: To all the boys who thought they would be cool and break my heart, guess what? Here are 14 songs written about you. HA.

14 years of Taylor Swift

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redpandarascal

Her husband (husband? boytoy? Idk) is literally an environmental activist of course she would

spookygirlfriend

excuse me, did you just call Kermit the frog an environmental activist and boy toy?

red-mercer

He's manifestly both

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The Los Angeles Dodgers are the 2020 World Series Champions

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Jimmy Kimmel: When you left Friends, did you take any mementos with you?

Lisa Kudrow: Well, I was given one… . Do you see that Cookie Time? That was in Monica and Rachel’s apartment.

JK: Who gave it to you?

LK: Matthew Perry. That was the wrap gift he gave me.

JK: Really?

LK: Yeah, and I mean we were laughing hysterically and crying, cause it was the end. But, um, it’s funny to us because, do you want to hear why?

JK: Yeah.

LK: Well, okay, so we’re shooting a scene, years before we were finished, and, um, my line was, “Ooh! I–Ooh! I better get going.” Like “Ooh, I’m late, I better get going.” Except I didn’t have a watch and we were shooting it, it was too late when I realized I don’t have a watch, how do I know ooh I have to get going? And so I just, as the words were coming out, I went, ‘Oh good, there’s a clock.’ I gestured to that and said, “Ooh! Look at the time, I gotta get going.” We’re done shooting and Matthew said, “Did you point to the cookie jar and say, ‘Look at the time?’”

JK: You made that joke about six times funnier by doing that. And then Matthew gave you a gift that didn’t actually belong to him, which are really the best gifts to give.

[source]

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stevienick

#shit moira says

ginger-ale-official

Men should be required to make their animal crossing villager sleep on a mattress on the floor until they get a bed frame irl

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im not a man but i sleep on a mattress on the floor bc i roll out of bed in the middle of the night and this way i just keep sleeping instead of being concussed am i valid

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U need a crib bro