Too Late, Nightmare

[toolatenightmare-blog]

You've lived a whole lot of life in a short amount of time. It's ok to be exhausted.

Writing prompt

[toolatenightmare-blog]

Who were you before they broke you?

writing prompt #2

[onlinecounsellingcollege]

“The real difficulty is to overcome how you think about yourself.”

— Maya Angelou

[toolatenightmare-blog]

[Verse 1] I fell back to my old ways What you done for me No, I'll never love like you, but I will say I do For a time it was flawless You are my comfort, my solace But the life faded out like flames always do [Pre-Chorus] The lies, they haunt me Tried to burn them But you've already known The feelings that I had All went numb So forgive me, oh Lord, oh Lord... [Chorus] 'Cause I won't give you what I promised If you don't let me out I never gave up being honest The words just burn my mouth (my mouth, my mouth) [Drop] [Verse 2] I remember the days When we were still young And Love couldn't break No, I'll never love like you, but I will say I do [Chorus] 'Cause I won't give you what I promised If you don't let me out I never gave up being honest The words just burn my mouth (my mouth) [Drop] [Outro] Ooooh, ooooh Ooooh, ooooh

[insomniac-arrest]

there are two wolves inside you

[mermaidastrology]

I try more and more to be myself, caring relatively little whether people approve or disapprove.

Vincent van Gogh 

Quotes that remind me of Aquarius

(via mermaidastrology)

[toolatenightmare-blog]

Kings and gods have bowed down to me, what makes you think you can refuse for long?

random writing prompt

“You think that you can evade me,”  “I am the only thing left to bring you down.” “If kings and gods have bowed down to me, what makes you think you can refuse for long?”

“You’ve conquered many, but now you face me, you last and final battle.” 

The rush and press on my head had started as a low buzz, growing stronger now. There wasn’t much I could do without bringing that buzzing on; I sat down. My limbs were heavy with the weight of my past. The achievements of my body, once a vigor pulse, now added lead to my limbs. My blood felt as though it were turning to rock. My every joint pressed as though swollen, creaking as I shifted.

“There is nothing you can do now, how does it feel to be so helpless after being once so full of life. Of vigor. You used to stand up. If you wanted change, you made it happen. The people used to look up to you as their golden idol. Their champion of action. And now look, I have brought you low.”

There were no lies here, I felt the discontent in my belly, the truth rung like an unrelenting yearning. The words brought me aches. I needed to fight back, to stand up and return fire. To take charge and break free. I was once so full of life. What happened? How did I get here?

“I will keep growing, there is nothing you can do. You will succumb, you can try and squirm and writhe but there is no escape. All have come to meet me, many who have achieved much more than you. What makes you think you could ever win. You will fail.”

I was not going to let that happen. I gave the order to stand. Limbs, respond, joints return to life. Cast away the stone, the rot, the lead and stand! With gritted teeth I stomped my feet in rebellion and shot upward. But my body did not comply. It remained, I remained. I fell to the ground. I was trapped. Trapped within my own body, my own inability to resist this great force.

Was this truly it? Was there nothing left to do but wait for the days of monotony to turn into years of the same and onward onto death? The answer was clear to me as I lay, immobile. A laugh of the deep filled my ears.

“Just a little while longer now. I am the final battle, the one and only that no one has taken down. Men of great feats, women of mighty strength, the old of much wisdom, the young with their vigor, children with their unending innocence, all have met me and crumbled. There is nothing you can do, there is no escape. I am your eternity, your ever present foe. There is no place safe from me.”

I knew it was right, I was tired, so tired. My body felt sucked to the ground. The ground was heavy and my body craved to return to that dust. I forced a swallow of air, willed my lungs to fill so I could enact one last moment of defiance. “Name...” My voice stuck in my throat, raked across the gravel of my dry mouth. “Name yourself...being.” Another laugh from everywhere, from no where, from inside my head, inside my belly.

“I am and have always been with you. I am Hunger of Things Left Unfinished. I am Lost Goals, Broken Dreams, I am the Trap of Your Flesh, the Loss of your Youth, I am your Tomb.”

[toolatenightmare-blog]

Here’s the thing...I’m dying...

You and I, we used to play. I mean really play. Full on imagination battle, day dream city, creative love of a life brand new and untarnished. Remember that tea party? You sat me right next to Mr. Cuddles the Bear and Snuggly-Wumpkins the Unicorn. You gave me your favorite tiara and second favorite shoes (you always loved your shoes). But now I’m fading away. You don’t need me anymore. You’re starting to dwell on other things, real world things. You have begun to believe what those people say about this life; that it’s difficult, that you have to work, that no one is happy all the time. 

But it’s not all bad I suppose. You’re coming into your own, I wouldn’t have it any other way. You still love shoes, that will never stop. The boy band posters have replaced the little drawings of me, the stuffed animals that we used to party with, one by one, have gone away. Into boxes or to other children or to who knows where, and I’m next.

I’m last. You don’t take me out anymore and I’m fading, dying. We were best friends, held the best conversations, and the best of times together. My heart used to be broken over this, you promised that we’d always be together. But it’s alright. It’s ok. Don’t feel bad when you remember me in the future. Don’t worry about it. About me. When you’re grown and have children of their own and they have imaginary friends of their own and you remember me, don’t feel sad. You’ve moved on. You don’t need me anymore.

- Your Imaginary Friend.