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@toomanythoughts33
the flood.
answered a scam call today and had the most bizarre conversation
scam caller: hello, how are you today?
me: great!
scam caller: good. I’m calling because your IP address has been compromised. I’ll just need you to get in front of your computer so we can get your account fixed up.
me: okay! there is one thing I’m wondering, though
scam caller: what?
me: you really couldn’t think of a better lie?
scam caller:
me: like, my “IP address has been compromised.” How, exactly, does an IP address become “compromised”?
scam caller:
me: I was just wondering, is all
scam caller: why did you answer?
me:
me: what?
scam caller: if you knew this wasn’t a legitimate call, then why did you answer?
me: oh, I just though I would have some fun at your expense.
scam caller: what expense? talking is no expense to me.
me: well, you’re currently not accomplishing your goal
scam caller: my goal?
me: your goal of scamming my elderly grandmother. You’re not accomplishing that. I’d call that an expense.
scam caller: well, can I scam you?
me:
me: did you- did you ask if you can scam me?
scam caller: yes. can I scam you?
me, baffled: sure, you can try
scam caller: you need to get in front of your computer
me: yeah, that’s still a problem. I’m eating tater tots right now and I really don’t feel like getting up.
scam caller: okay. I will call you tomorrow morning, then.
me: I might not answer. My grandma definitely won’t.
scam caller: You answered today.
me: …touché?
scam caller: I will call you tomorrow. Have a good day.
Enemies to lovers, slow burn, 500K
This reads like a bit from a British sketch comedy.
Thomas Matthew Crooks is from Bethel Park, Pennsylvania, and is a registered Republican.
source 1
source 2
source 3
IT ALREADY HAS ITS OWN WIKIPEDIA PAGE.????
is there seriously a guy out there who saw the news and immediately pulled up wikipedia
source 1
source 2
source 3
Larry Walters of Los Angeles is one of the few to contend for the Darwin Awards and live to tell the tale.
When his friends cut the cord anchoring the lawnchair to his Jeep, he did not float lazily up to 30 feet. Instead he streaked into the LA sky as if shot from a cannon. He didn’t level off at 100 feet, nor did he level off at 1000 feet. After climbing and climbing, he leveled off at 16,000 feet.
At that height he felt he couldn’t risk shooting any of the balloons. So he stayed there, drifting cold and frightened with his beer and sandwiches, for more than 14 hours. He crossed the primary approach corridor of LAX, where startled Trans World Airlines and Delta Airlines pilots radioed in reports of the strange sight.
Eventually he gathered the nerve to shoot a few balloons, and slowly descended. Larry was then arrested. Larry’s efforts won him a $1,500 FAA fine, a prize from the Bonehead Clubof Dallas, the altitude record for gas-filled clustered balloons, and a Darwin Awards At-Risk Survivor.
(Fact Source) Follow Ultrafacts for more facts
You are going to laugh until your stomach hurts again. You're going to be in awe of a sunset. Watch your favorite show while you eat your favorite food. Find money on the street. Discover a great band you haven't heard of before. You will find your way back.
Loki + tumblr [193/?]
how do you tell if a boy likes you?
U just gotta ask 'em, man. Boys are stupid as shit, I'm not even kidding.
aren't you one though
I am giving you the inside scoop
When y/n gets too annoying to the point you want to stop reading
EWAN MITCHELL as AEMOND TARGARYEN | House of the Dragon S2E4
MY MOM SAW A CYBERTRUCK IN HER CITY SO SHE CALLED TO TELL ME ABOUT "THE UGLY CAR SOME GUY WELDED TOGETHER" ADFFHGYJGUHGHGGHGGHGGHHGHGG
SHE THOUGHT HE MADE IT IN HIS GARAGE
it would be fun if an angel and a vampire were friends i think
vampire: ugh, you mortals simply can't comprehend the timescale i live on. i've watched your empires rise and fall, your cities crumble to dust. i find your short little lives amusing at best. i -
angel: HI, I HAVE BEEN ALIVE SINCE THE DAWN OF TIME AND I NOTICED YOU ARE ALSO SOMEWHAT OLD?
vampire: ...sure. hey what was the dawn of time like?
angel: PRETTY BORING ACTUALLY. NOTHING ELSE EXISTED YET.
vampire: oh, man, i feel you. i slept through, like, the entire 14th century it was so boring. everyone was dying of plague and shit anyway so i didn't miss much.
vampire: hey i am outside your apartment
angel: YOU'VE JUST BEEN STANDING THERE? FOR HOW LONG?
vampire: uhhhhhhh a mere speck in comparison to our immortal lives so don't worry about it honestly. i need you to invite me in though.
angel: OF COURSE, I'M SO SORRY. PLEASE COME IN.
vampire: *steps over the threshold and immediately starts hissing and coughing like a cat with a bad hairball*
angel: OH, I'M SO SORRY. MY APARTMENT IS CONSIDERED HOLY GROUND BECAUSE I LIVE IN IT. I SHOULD HAVE WARNED YOU.
vampire: *coughing* it's fine. do you - *cough* *wheeze* what are your thoughts on chinese? i know a great place just a couple of blocks from here
everyone replying to this with "and they were lovers"? target audience
I GOT A FUCKING RAISE THE POTATO WORKED WTF
This potato works. Every. Fucking. Time.
Then bring me luck
the day after I posted this last time I was notified that I was selected for a really cool mentorship gig and got an unrelated glowing review at work
Hope it works
crossing my fingers