Implicit Demand for Proof
Standing at the side of the ballroom, I swallowed my anger down, taking a deep breath before answering him.
“Look, I know you’re not lying, but do you have any idea how stupid you sound? How does any of this make sense?”
He blushed, looking around at the people dancing, trying to hush me, “Yeah I know, gosh, please calm down.”
He grabbed my arm and pulled me out onto the courtyard, where the moon shone brightly, outlining his crooked jaw.
I’ve known Joshua for years, and we were betrothed for three months now, but as we were dancing tonight at the spring ball, he decided to tell me that he isn’t sure about our marriage.
“But…” I said, quietly now, as we were standing in the night air, peeking at his face.
He didn’t seem angry, he seemed… sad.
“Rose… Please… this is hard enough, can you not make a scene of it?”
“A scene? Bloody hell Josh, you want me to help you call off our wedding! Why wouldn’t I make a scene?”
Josh lost all the blood from his face, only his ears going red as the rest of his face went as white as the moon.
“What? Josh?” I looked around, shocked, confused, but mostly scared.
“I… I thought you wouldn’t care…”
I blinked once, then twice, staring at his perfect face that I’ve grown to know so well, and for the first time since knowing him, he truly perplexed me.
“I… I thought you’d want this.”
“Want this? Why in the high heavens would I want to call it off?”
He shuffled his feet, looking anywhere but my face.
“Josh? Josh please, tell me what’s going on?”
I couldn’t even ask him what the hell, I was speechless.
“O… Of course! Why… why would you think otherwise?”
“Why?” he finally looked back up at me, hurt, “Rose, you haven’t written me a single letter since we got engaged! I know your dad was thrilled when I asked for your hand, obviously, since marrying me will be uplifting your status, but… but I asked you because I love you, and I thought you did too… but then you stopped writing, the only thing I have heard is from your parents about wedding preparations…” He pulled his fingers through his hair, stepping away and sucking in a breath, “what else was I left to think, except that you only said yes because of my status… that you don’t love me at all.”
It was hard to see his expression now through my tears, but I knew that he was his pain, it was plain enough from his voice.
“Josh… I’m… I’m so sorry…” I wiped my eyes, trying to take his hand, but he pulled away.
“It’s fine Rose, I had enough time to think about it… you know I’m not like most men… if you don’t love me you don’t need to marry me-”
“No! Josh! That’s not what… OH good god, you’re insufferable sometimes!” I laughed, the situation putting me so on edge that I felt like I could do nothing else.
“I love you, Josh, with all my heart, I have loved you ever since you took me on that walk in the orchard. I was waiting for so long for you to ask, I kept leaving you hints and you just kept missing them! Writing me, seeming me here and there. You took forever to ask me, I couldn’t have said yes faster!” I shook my head, then sighed, and took a deep breath to calm myself down from hysterics.
He just stood there, face twisted with torment.
“I’m sorry Josh, I know you’re never very good at reading between the lines, I should have given you more than an implicit proof of my love… I guess it’s just so obvious to me, that I couldn’t see that it wasn’t obvious to you, and I am so sorry for that.”
I took a deep breath, and I managed to take his hands in mine, pulling him back to me. I looked into his teary brown eyes as I blinked away my own tears.
“I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Since we got engaged my parents have been going crazy, they haven’t let me write to you personally, and I haven’t pushed since I knew it won’t be forever, that soon enough we’ll live in the same house and I won’t have to write to you at all to tell you about my day,” I blushed, shrugging, “but I’m sorry it left you so worried…”
He didn’t say a thing, simply looked down at me, looking less sad, more confused now, but he still didn’t look as reassured as I wanted him to be. He was always so easy for me to read.
An idea popped into my head, and I looked around to make sure no one was there that might see or hear us, then I kneeled on one knee, carefully in my ball gown.
“Joshua… will you… still, marry me?”