Last Time On Total Drama Cruise Control: A Ri-DON-culous Clubbing Experience
CHALLENGE 14: Cancún, Mexico The sun sets over the boat, splashing the sky with a beautiful assortment of colors. The boat bellows, ready to dock. “Hello Contestants! Lovely night we’re having. Can you believe that our South America part of the tour is ending? Yep, no more beach resorts after this. Going to miss it….” Chris sighs, looking up to the sunset skies. “How are we all dealing merged? Can you believe it that more than half of you are gone? Crazy.” “Anyways enough about that, let's get ready for our next challenge. Our final location of the South Americas Tour is the beautiful…Cancún!” The cruise docked on a busy port, the night life just started to come alive, tourists and locals in nightclub outfits looked up at the boat in awe.
“Now, our challenge is another jet ski race Contestants! First part of the race, you will all run to the nearby dock and grab a jet ski parked waiting for you, then you will…." Chris sees something in the distance, he squints. It's hard to tell what he's looking at. Suddenly his eyes widen and his mouth drops in disbelief.
“HOLD IT,” he shouts, very out of character of him, he is looking at a yacht, a rather impressive, large one. “He’s here?! Now?!” Chris throws his head back and groans loudly. “Oh no. Oh noooo. And while I’m with Chef-” Chef’s brow furrows. He gives Chris a stern look.
“NOTHING. NOTHING BABE. Here….” Chris pulls him in, whispering something and handing him what looks like a credit card. You watch Chef’s eyes widen. “…Whatever you want. It’s all on me.” Chef grumbles and shoves the card in his pocket. “...” Chris waits until Chef leaves, then he speaks in a low whisper, almost a hiss. “...My ex is here, That’s his yacht on the docks. I just know it. He really thinks he can just show up, while I’m working? He thinks I’ll just let that slide? New challenge. Forget the jet skis. I bet you he’s at the nightclub, I want you all to go in as bartenders and get some information on him. I want to see just how miserable he is without me. Well. I already know he is, look at that yacht. It’s not even the newest model.” he scoffs. “He has so fallen off. Whoever can get me the best information without getting caught wins immunity. He cannot know that I’m here, and you are all my contestants. Got it? Anyone who spills the beans to him is automatically eliminated! That's final. I'll eliminate you! I'll eliminate your friend! I'll cancel the whole show!"
Everyone gets into uniform! It's clubbing time! The nightclub was pumping. People from all over were socializing and dancing. Chris was in…a disguise for some reason? AKA just a fake beard and glasses. “There he is.” he whispers, pointing at a man sitting alone at the bar. “Do not blow my cover. Remember a million dollars is on the line.” Chris fades into the crowd… ------------------------------------------------------------------------
WAYNE'S TURN!
"…..Can I help you?"
“Huh? N-Nuh Nuh Nuh! How can I help YOU?!”
This is the guy. Stick the landing, Gretzky!
“Any drinks?! We’ve got everything…except cabbage drinks. Looks like we ran out, bro…you look familiar. Kinda like a fancy celeb. You should be on TV.”
Wayne, from the corner of you eye you see Chris peek up from the crowd. He is making gestures you don't really understand…. "Heh….thanks. I get that a lot…." Don smiles at the man. "Hey, can I get some water? I have a feeling I'll be here for a while…" Don does pause to look at the man. "….do I know you from somewhere? Now that you mention TV…"
“Oh I….uh, I wish! B-But nope! Just a usual bar boy! I-I watch alot of TV though! Lemme show ya!”
Wayne has juggled hockey pucks before. He can do it with glasses. He tosses the cup in the air and gives a few juggles before it lands on the coaster…on its side.
“Hehe…eh, sorry! Bartenter, not juggler. Easy mistake. Sooooo, how’s the Cancun life treatin’ ya? Here with friends?”
He lifts the cup and quickly pours water in.
The drink splashes a little of Don. You see his eyelid twitch...but he quickly laughs it off. "Oh, I'm just here to relax. I'm actually writing another Season of my show. Ever watched Ridonculous Race? I'm the host." He takes the water and sips on it. "Friends? Nope! Just me. Though, I did see a cruise dock. The Christine? Hm."
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RAJ'S TURN!
…..Don is tapping on his empty glass, he sighs slightly. "Christine…..Christine…..* He looks up and huh. A new bartender already? "Hello Sir, could I get a Old Fashioned?"
“An Old Fashioned, eh?”
What is an Old Fashioned???
Raj is freaking nervous dude.
“Uhh…sure! Yeah! I can do that! That is a thing I can do! Because I am a bartender!”
Nailed it. Awesome. Now how do you make an Old Fashioned…?
"….." "I know you. You were on Total Drama, weren't you?" His eyes narrowed. "…I didn't think you were the drinking type, but I guess TV doesn't always reflect reality…" Chris is in the crowd; he makes a chopping motion with his neck! Retreat Raj! Retreat!!!!
“Oh, uh, haha! Look at the time! My shift is over! Have a good night, bro- I mean, sir!”
Raj is out of there. He’s freaking gone.
"….alright."
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LIGHTNING'S TURN!
"…..some guy, huh?"
"Yeah, what can I get ya?"
"Wait." Don puts his hands up. "Wait Wait wait. Are you. Lightning? The Lightning! Your dad!"
Lightning sunk. "Yeah… that's me, just taking on a bartender job for the fun of it!"
"Kid. We go wayyyyy back. Your dad and I watched the Super Bowl together, and talk about electricity! That man knows his stuff huh?" Wait a second. "…..Oh God. I am. So sorry. I should've known. You. And. Um. The Lightning." Chris is waving his hands frantically at him from the crowd. Lightning don't! Just go back!
"Oh, it's okay, I know you were only talking smack."
"Yeah. Hm." He faked a cough. "Good talk kid."
"Well, you have a nice night, I uh… gotta help these folks over there." Lightning smiled and waved Don goodbye.
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HAROLD'S TURN!
"Christine……Lightning….." Don taps on his drink. "Hey, can I get a Old Fashioned? The last bartender um. Didn't get me my drink."
"Who's Christine? She get hit by lightning? Sad."
He doesn't know how to make conversation with someone as a bartender.
"Sure thing. One coming right up."
Ummm. Ummm. What is an Old Fashioned. Is it a drink for old fashioned people? What do old fashioned people drink? Help.
"Uh huh……" He fidgets with his drink. "Hey Pal, some advice. Use more pins on your wig. I can tell it's you, Harold."
"What the heck!" Harold can't take this stupid baka life anymore.
"It's cool you know who I am, though. Did you think I was robbed on Action? Because I did. I was so freaking robbed."
"Uh huh. Sure. You could say that." "…is Chris here?" Chris frantically chops at his throat with his hand again. RETREAT HAROLD RETREAT!
"No, he freaking abandoned us. Wait I see someone with pins. I need them for my wig. Sorry I gotta go. Byeeee I literally was robbed though byeeeee."
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JO'S TURN!
"....Hey." Don is looking somewhat inpatient. "Old Fashioned? Please?"
Jo quickly turns around so he can’t figure her out, and starts rummaging for ingredients. Okay, info time.
“Not enjoying your vacation?”
".....You know what? Not really. Got a lot on my mind lately." Chris is giving you a thumbs up from the crowd! "Christine.....a boat named Christine....God. I shouldn't be thinking about him."
“Ships got weird names sometimes. And they’re named after women a lot of the time. Coulda sworn I saw a Gertrude pass through earlier.” Jo passes the finished drink over to Don, garnishing it with a maraschino cherry. Hm. Seems he’s talking about Chris. “Who’s your mind on?”
"I shouldn't be telling you this but...." He takes a sip of his drink. Ough. That's good. "....My ex sent me a text a few nights ago. I could totally tell he was drunk." "I don't know how that makes me feel. We broke up years ago. I thought we both moved on." Chris.....his eyes widen. He shakes his head no, chopping at his throat. NONONONONONONO JO GO BACK NONONONONO
Oh my god. LMFAO. Jo can’t hold back laughter, chuckling as she steps away from the bar. “Don’t go back.”
"....huh?"
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ALEJANDRO'S TURN!
".....Another Bartender?" "Oh, hello. Short shifts tonight huh?"
Alejandro gives the man a nod. He has not seen Ridonculous Race. "Sadly, we are. It's quite sad. What can I get for you?
Don looks at the man... "...You're the kid from the volcano. Aren't you?" "God. Chris can be so heartless. I can't believe we dated-" He cuts himself off. "I'm sorry Kid. I shouldn't had said anything. It's just..."
"Ah, yes. I am. Most people recognize me from that. But I have moved on from that." He shrugs. He hasn't, but people love to ask questions, so he's used to it. "Ah, I'm not going to push for details," He adds on. "I'm here to make you a drink, yes? No need to talk about the past. Or... is it troubling you?"
"My condolences…." He mutters, gripping his drink. "…Yeah. You're right. Something is troubling me. My apologies for dumping my woes on you. It's just. My ex is….a lot." He sighs. "He makes you feel like a million dollars. Anything you could dream of wanting, and he'll buy you ten of them. It's great, it's exciting. But….." "…he doesn't love. He wouldn't hold your hand. He never called me handsome. He never bought me roses." Chris is losing his mind. He is waving, mouthing to Alejandro "GO BACK" some club goers look at him with confusion.
"Ah, I do not know who your ex is, for I do not know who you are, but you truly are deserving of much more than him," Alejandro says.
"It's better that you left him. He couldn't love you for you. There are better people waiting for you, I'm sure of it."
Ever so slightly, Alejandro eyes Chris.
"It was nice talking to you, but my shift has ended. I do hope you find the one that will love you for you. It's worth it."
"….Yeah. See you later." Don looks deep in thought….
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MK'S TURN!
"I don't know.....I don't know...." he mused.
Ah yes, none other than Don. MK was cleaning a glass, trying to look like a real bartender. “Need a refill?”
"Yeah. Thank you." Don goes quiet.... then he speaks. "A lot of Bartenders tonight, huh?"
MK tries to figure out what he’s drinking. Ah yes, the typical old man drink. She gets to work replicating it. “Yeah, we’re training some new hires. I’m sorry if they’ve caused any inconveniences.” She sets the new drink down in front of him.
"It's alright. I don't mind." He takes a sip. Mmm, tasty. "I mean....I don't get it! No contact for years, then all the sudden a "I miss you" text at 3am? What does that mean? He wouldn't even look at me when we were in the production room together!"
MK goes to clean some more glasses, trying to look like she actually works there. “Are you doing alright, sir? Seems like you got a lot on your mind.”
"I miss him." Don downs his drink. "I know I shouldn't but man, I miss his smile. His soft black hair, everything." "....But its not meant to be. I saw the way he looks at his cohost. He loves that man. And....that's not me. I should be ok with it."
“Ah yes, the out of nowhere 3 am text,” MK says with a knowing nod, “I’ve been through that situation before.” She hasn’t. “Well, you guys broke up for a reason, didn’t you? Was it because of the cohost? Look, if he’s got this other guy and is still texting you that nonsense, it sounds like you’re better off without him.” She looks back at the drink he just downed, “Need a refresher?”
"It sucks, doesn't it?" He twirls the empty glass. "We broke up not because of the cohost. But because.....um." Oh fuck it. "We were writing a show together. Contestants were put in groups of two and had to do challenges and travel the world! I called it, The Ridonculous Race! Chris was helping me write the challenges and....they were way too harsh." We were going to do an episode that was truth or dare. I don't remember where, but he had collected information on my contestants. Very. Personal information. I was uncomfortable with it at first but he convinced me he would take it seriously. I don't know why I did it, but I wrote something too." Don nods at the idea of the refresher. "Chris was reading them, laughing at each and every one. Some people wrote their hearts out. I wrote my heart out. I wrote......I wrote...." "....forget the TV business. Let's get married." Don sniffled. "Chris thought it was a prank and laughed, saying "who is stupid enough to throw away fame for love!" ....WHAT? Chris waved his hands in the air. MKMKMKMKMKMK TIME TO GO
MK nodded along as the man recounted his story. She noticed Chris’s gestures… oh buddy boy. She put down her glass and looked at her wrist. “Damn, looks like my shift’s up. I’m sorry to hear that man. I’m sure you’re better off without him.” She heads off. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
AMY'S TURN!
Don is looking rough, three drinks in and only one cup of water…..he looked flushed. "Mmmm….drink please."
Don. Ough. He's in rough shape. Amy pours him some freaking water.
"Hey… you." She slides the drink over. "Why the long face?" She places a lemon wedge on the rim of the glass. Fancy!
"I just don't get it! Why did he laugh at me? He had to know it was me!" He looked like he was holding back tears.... "That man. He knows how to reel you in, then rip your heart out! I say good! Good that he found someone else!"
"Yeah," Amy scoffs. "Men, am I right?" Chris Mclean what did you do to Don Total Drama. "You should tell me more; I'll get you another drink."
"He then goes no contact for years, then suddenly a "I miss you" text? What am I supposed to do?! Not respond? Not feel anything? I miss him! I can't tell him that!"
"Don't text him back, don't call him, delete his freaking contact. You're on vacation in Cancun—you should be partying and drinking and flirting. You should forget about him; he sounds like he sucks. Whiskey?"
".....yes please"
Amy pours him a freaking whiskey lalalala. then she leaves ------------------------------------------------------------------------
RIPPER'S TURN!
....and Don is crying. "Damn it...it's never good to cry at a bar..."
Ripper notices Don and tilts his head. Oh, hey, I remember that guy! He’s from the spin-off! He must be the guy Chris was talking about. Lucky me, I make an amazing bar tender because I know how to keep a conversation going. People love a chatty bar tender, right?! He leans onto the bar with a stupid grin, and before he can say anything, he promptly burps in Don’s face. He didn’t mean to do that.
Ripper burps in his face, and he suddenly stands up, his hands on the counter. "Ugh! Can't a man cry in peace!?" He wipes his face with his sleeve, straightening out his suit.
“I WAS JUST- AND THEN- when the- and the thing-“ Ripper waves his hands and shakes his head. This is going terribly.
"Please. Just. Stop talking." He groaned. PERFECT! "And that's the challenge!" Chris walks up to Ripper, putting a firm hand on his shoulder. "Good job! The burp really sealed the deal!" "....Chris?!"
Ripper grins. Maybe I won, he thinks. “THANKS, CHRIS!” He salutes Chris and scurries off. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Chris.....was this.....seriously one of your challenges?"
"No. Jet ski racing was my challenge. Then I saw your pathetic little yacht and changed it. And man. Was that a good idea." He points to the side of his head. "Gotta think on your toes, Donny." "I can't believe you! You always do this! Always!" He jabs a finger at the man. "You heard everything I said about you huh. Do you think it's still funny? At least answer me!"
"No. No I didn't know it was you." Chris moves the finger out if his face, emotionless. "But now that I do know......" "...yeah. It's still funny."
Don takes a step back, eyes widen. He is hiding tears. ".....Everything is a game to you, isn't it?!" He hissed. "Every little emotion, every secret, nothing is too low for you Chris McLean! Nothing!"
"....and that's why they pay me the big bucks, and you get the spinoffs." He shrugged. "Whatever. I probably would've married you. Though seeing your taste in jewelry...the rock probably wouldn't be my style." “Chris.” Chef’s here, and those last sentences did not go unheard. “Do you wanna say that again?” "...." "..." "Chef," Chris approached the man, trying to snake his arm around him. "You know how it is, people say stupid stuff on TV all the time. It happens to the best of us." "...Like when you texted me. That was a TV blooper, wasn't it." “Is that your excuse?” … “Chris, do you think I’m stupid? Do you take me for an ignorant man? Is that it?” Chef puts a hand on Chris’s shoulder, a stern look on his face. “We are talking about this. Tonight. Now.” "No! No, no! I was just. Doing my thing! Making the people back at home happy! Stirring up some drama! Cmon Chef, you know I would never leave you for him! it was just a stupid text! I was drunk! Cmon, we've all been there." Chris leans in the whisper to him "Can we save it for after the Elimination?" Don balls his hands into fists. "You know. Your contestants kept telling me to leave you, cut contact with you, I could do better." He looks pointedly at Chef. "I think someone else should take that advice. Good game Chris. Hope it was worth it." Don pushes by the two. "Buh Bye Donny! By the way, your yacht is soooooo out of style!" Chris nudges Chef. "Eh? Ehhhh?" “I said now, Chris. Don’t get smart with me. I’m not letting this simmer.”
Chris's smile drops. "Uh. Fine. Let's make it quick." He looks at all the contestants. "Um. I'll be right back. Feel free to enjoy Cancun." ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Chris appears...he's smiling. But his voice is much quieter. A subtle lack of oomph to it. "Hello contestants." "Welcome to...elimination. The winner of the Cancun challenge is......Amy." Chris pauses for a split second. "Yay. Amy. You will get your keys when the ceremony is over. You will also get to choose Ale-someone of your choice to join you on the luxury floor." ......uh. Chef isn't here to give out the mocktails. A intern stands in his place, visibly uncomfortable. "Let's get this over with." ------------------------------------------------------------------------
ELIMINATION:
It was Lightning who was served the Mocktail of Misery and walked the Plank of Shame.
"Your trip ends here. See ya." The intern tries to hand Lightning the bubbling green mocktail, but is distracted by something, his eyes catch something, and he rushes over to Chris, whispering something frantically in his ear. "…What?" Chris and the intern walk over the side of the boat, and Chris leans over. "ARE YOU SERIOUS?!" Over the Boat's name, someone spray painted the words CHEATER over it. "FORGET IT! I'm going back to my cabin. Say bye to Lightning or whatever."
Lightning looks at Wayne. He wanted to cry, but he couldn't. "You know... I've been thinking about getting myself better and... I'm still sorry I blew it...Dude, just keep on fighting, and make sure you and your pals sha-strike hard!" He smirks at Wayne, he then eyes at Raj and Ripper, then Harold. Lightning walks the plank and does a fun dive. "Come on, Waddles!" "Squeeeeee!" Waddles, Lightning's pig, runs after him and dives. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
>Bowie is in Cancun. He talks to Ripper, Wayne, and Amy. He gives Ripper his phone number. >Ripper and Wayne prank Raj with frozen cereal and then give him cake as an apology. >Ripper, Wayne, and Raj sneak into Chris’ room to break and steal his stuff. >Raj and Bowie have a date at a restaurant together. >Alejandro, Amy, and Jo make final four plans. (Courtney included.) >Alejandro and Amy visit a food stall together and discuss future plans as well as how pathetic they find Trent to be. >Wayne and Raj visit the post office to send letters and talk about their current feelings, including the fact Wayne almost told Harold about Raj's fear of birds. >Jo revisits the club from the challenge so that she can speak to Anne Maria again. They talk about relationships and recall memories of their time on the show together. >Ripper and Wayne also revisit the club for a little date together. Geoff serves them and happens to own the place. >Harold finds Ripper on the beach. They get ugly popsicles together and Ripper finds out that Harold has the ability to turn into a rat. >Wayne runs into Sierra in a seafood restaurant. She rambles a little about Rippayne, but even more about the game and it's past. Wayne's never seen the show, so she takes the opportunity to tell him all about it. >Wayne and MK have a chat in the arcade. MK scams Wayne with a slot machine. She and Jo are sharing the profits. >Lightning was packing his bags in the cabin shortly before he is eliminated because he had a feeling he was leaving. Harold tries to talk to him about his feelings and stuff. >Alejandro won a bucket of lava in the crane machine. Raj almost dips his hand in it because he thinks it’s soup. They talk about trauma and their personal phobias. They try to use ice cubes to cool the lava off (Raj’s idea) before Alejandro suggests that they just dump it overboard and get it over with.
