90% Is Crap I Thought Of After 2 A.M.

Adult-Apothecary-American Embarrassment

[ashstfu]

2023 -> 2024!

[winter-wise]

Howl truly is the man of all time. He’s a playboy. He’s a malewife. He fell in love with a ninety year old woman. He’s a rugby player. He smells like hyacinths. He’s not a natural blond. When dying his hair went slightly wrong, he filled his home with slime. He has a PhD. He’s a wizard. He found a way to another universe and he told absolutely nobody about it. He makes video games about the magical universe for his nephews. He can’t play the guitar. He always takes a guitar with him when he’s trying to seduce a woman. He’s a self-proclaimed coward. He got drunk to trick himself into doing something dangerous. He overcharges for his services to rich people. He undercharges for his services to poor people. A woman invaded his home and declared herself his cleaning lady and he just let her stay. He loves spiders. He lies about his surname to everyone, including royalty. The true spelling of his first name is Howell, but we don’t find out until halfway through the book because the POV character thinks it’s spelled Howl. He’s even Welsh.

[secondlina]

✨️Lich & Mushroom for everrr🍄

[redstonedust]

love when you stop a cat from doing something and instead of understanding that they shouldnt be doing that theyre just like. ah sorry my good sir you seem to have interrupted me. no worries let me just shimmy past you and get a taste of that pan of hot oil. please.

[mocksyoucondescendingly]

[lordnot]

As someone who owns cats that will run away if you get up while they are eating from another cat's bowl, but not while they are eating from their own bowl: I am more inclined to agree with the posts that say "cats understand the concept of sin".

[pancakeke]

sometimes when they see you coming they do the naughty thing faster (eg: when trying to steal an object they cant quite reach, or trying to eat all of something). they realize you're going to stop them, but their thought process doesn't reach the conclusion of "I shouldn't be doing this".

instead they're like "I guess there's a time limit to my task now. but god as my witness I'm gonna complete it."

[foone]

My favorite cat behavior thing is when you try to stop them doing something and they understand the rules better than they should.

Like, you don't want the cat on the counter, so you yell at them and spray them with the bottle when you see them on the counter.

So they go "Oh, I see! I get it now. I'm not allowed on the counter when people are around". So they make sure not to get caught on the counter.

[penandinkprincess]

.

[comradekatara]

katara is one of those impossibly cool people who “has a guy” for everything. like run into any sort of problem and she’s just like “hang on i gotchu. just contact this number and they’ll know what to do.” but half the time that guy is just sokka

[fairy-anon-godmother]

I’ve mentioned before that I’d love a DC movie series set during the time of the Thanagarian invasion that occurred during the Justice League animated series. Specifically movies set within different cities and from the perspective of the different rogues as they basically Home Alone their way through that weekend while the League is off doing the main plot from those two episodes. 

Today I was thinking about Central City’s group The Rogues, and batting around dialogue/things to do for them as all this goes on. Of course right as the invasion happens James/The Trickster solemnly pulls a special rubber chicken out of his bag of tricks, lifts the head to reveal a red button, and pushes it. Immediately all street signs in the city and especially along the highways flip and either give wrong directions, or simply swap names with each other.

But the idea of each rogues gallery in the main DC cities keeping tabs on each other also was funny. ‘Like hell am I acceptin’ his help,’ Captain Cold snarls when Lex Luthor tries to set up an emergency call with the top villains in the country. ‘He’s gonna want money for whatever he offers - I’ll be damned if I give LexCorp a damned cent I’ve honestly stolen.’ And he goes off and leads The Rogues on whatever anti-birdmen tactics they land on, using the finest duct tape and cardboard available in the city of course.

(The Rogues as the blue collar villains in DC is always my favorite version of them. Other villains have evil lairs under volcanoes, or teams of scientists, or teams of scientists working in evil lairs under volcanoes. The Rogues have a few wrenches, Mark’s wand, Len and Mick’s abilities to reverse engineer their own guns, and Sam’s dedication to laughing at the laws of physics, light, and the normal properties associated with reflective material.)

A while later though, after he’s cooled off from his initial fury, Captain Cold does admit that there is something he wouldn’t mind receiving from LexCorp. ‘They’ve gotta have footage of some shirtless birdman with a silly hat telling Lex he’s to bend the knee,’ he muses to Heatwave and the Mirror Master. ‘I’d pay to see Lex’s reaction to that.’

Right after everyone gets through this little apocalypse, The Rogues might take a day trip to Metropolis. That footage has got to be somewhere within Lex’s headquarters, and they’re just the people to find it.

[dinosaurrainbowstarfish]

Seriously if you need fanfiction to teach you what healthy and normal relationships are like, you don’t need fanfiction you need resources geared towards teaching you what healthy and non-abusive relationships are like. Please go to scarleteen. Please watch MamaDoctorJones’ episode about consent. Please go to people who are actively, explicitly, and specifically trying to teach you about healthy relationships and consent, and crucially, people who have the qualifications to teach you these topics. A fanfic writer might be: secretly a thirteen year old, someone who’s just gotten out of or is still in an abusive relationship and has internalized hurtful messages about relationships because of their abuse, someone who’s bad at writing, someone from an abstinence-only sex education background, someone who has no relationship experience, someone who has different boundaries around sex than their reader, or someone who assumes their readers are all adults who understand what abuse is and the fact that it’s bad and you shouldn’t do it in real life. None of these hypothetical writers deserve to be banned from writing. None of these hypothetical writers deserve to receive abuse for what they’ve written. None of these hypothetical writers should be taken as educational resources about important topics like consent, sexuality, sexual health, or sex education. There ARE resources out there that are created with the express aim of teaching people, especially young people, what a healthy relationship is supposed to look like. For the most part, though, random fanfiction writers aren’t those people, and that’s okay! They shouldn’t have to be. Fanfiction is entertainment, and it doesn’t have to beat the reader over the head with a moralistic message. Fanfiction writers assume, and should be able to assume, that their readers understand the purpose of fiction and aren’t using fiction as a replacement for actual educational material about sexual health and domestic violence.

In fact, it’s actually fucked up and mega super dangerous to actual real people, particularly children, to act like fanfiction is a replacement for education about domestic violence and sexual abuse. Real sexual health and domestic violence support groups and organizations spend lots of time and money trying to get the public educated about consent and healthy relationships, and we should listen to those people instead of acting like consent is a topic that should or can be learned from osmosis through reading fanfiction or watching media.

Especially considering, you know, how much our culture plays fast and loose with the concept of consent, blames victims of abuse, and generally portrays myths around sex, abuse, and relationships.

Normalize regularly reading and rereading nonfiction guides to healthy relationships. Normalize regularly practicing nonsexual consent, checking in with people if they seem uncomfortable or before starting a conversation about heavy topics, taking “no” for an answer, respecting boundaries (yours and other peoples’) without demanding in-depth explanations of why they exist, making others feel safe setting boundaries around you, etc. Normalize reading multiple sources, examining sources, and asking yourself “Who wrote this? Why did they write it? What credibility do they have? Should I listen to them?” instead of just taking absolutely everything you read at face value. Here’s some starting links:

https://www.scarleteen.com/article/relationships https://www.rainn.org/articles/what-is-consent

https://www.rainn.org/articles/steps-you-can-take-prevent-sexual-assault

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/what-does-a-healthy-relationship-look-like_n_5a32c423e4b01d429cc70653

https://www.thehotline.org/resources/healthy-relationships/

https://www.scarleteen.com/article/politics_relationships_sexual_identity_sexuality/my_one_and_only

Fanfiction can’t and shouldn’t be used as an exclusive resource to teach you the things the above sites can teach you. It would be cool if people realized that and stopped expecting random fanfic writers to start every fictional work they write with the express purpose of teaching their audience how sex and relationships are supposed to work. Instead of abusing fanfic writers who explore taboo topics, read and share resources that can actually help people learn about consent and healthy relationships. Because as someone who used to exclusively read fluff, a lot of fluffy fic writers don’t know SHIT about consent and teaching kids and teens that they should look to random strangers as examples of healthy relationships is fucked up.

[ashbelero]

This goes for traditional fiction too.

[azcrowleyfell]

I think it’s good to be able to read fiction (fan or otherwise) that portrays healthy relationships, but yeah, it shouldn’t necessarily be the only source of that.

[everythingfox]

Wild hamster

(via)

[bigtonguebiollante]

[leopardheart-deactivated2023022]

enough tumblrina infighting. it’s time to unite against our common enemy: people who randomly clutter up the tags in searches with bite size posts full of every possible irrelevant tag they can think of for attention like this

BOOOOO BOOOO sit DOWN

[titkoks]

[libraford]

Explaining to straight adults that much of queer history happened within their lifetime and they were unaware of all the extremely important events and how many laws there were to prevent us from thriving because they werent part of queer circles themselves is like...

-leans in close-

How would you like to know about the war in Ba Sing Se?

[elodieunderglass]

I grow our own vegetables. Many hybrid and heirloom varieties are bred for flavor rather than for commercial appeal and travel. There are entire species on the allotment that you can’t easily buy in stores because of this - like salsify, a root vegetable that tastes of fish and shellfish. Our neighbours happily take it to make vegan latkes of alarming similarity to fishcakes. You cannot sell it in stores because - despite looking like a white parsnip - it turns brown when you pick it & if you scrape/bruise/cut the white root in any way, or damage the delicate little hairs, for some reason, it BLEEDS RED and is very upsetting to look at.

There are whole classes of foods like this. Foods that just don’t ship well or look good on supermarket shelves. Forbidden fruits. Vegetables that bleed and taste like meat. Sorry about this

[penandinkprincess]

my balcony blocks my view of the playground, but I heard one child yell "I FOUND A FROG" with a great deal of excitement and now there is screaming, so I'm filling in some blanks

[penandinkprincess]

situational update: a little girl screamed "LEAVE HIM ALONE" and now there's noises that sound suspiciously like a child getting wailed on by a wiffle ball bat

[penandinkprincess]

further update: parent has been called to the scene. distribution of fault is underway. bat appears to have been confiscated.

[penandinkprincess]

bat has been returned under the promise of not deploying it once more against brothers. the pause and "but tell him to leave the frog alone" tells me it will likely come back into play shortly.

[penandinkprincess]

as expected, frog was bothered again and frog warrior took up her weapon once more. all children are being collected to leave on charges of acting "like y'all have NO sense"

personally I stand with frog defender on this issue

#justiceforfroggirl

[delphinidin4]

Watched a great talk today about web/technology accessibility, and the speaker pointed out that yes, accessibility is important for people with permanent disabilities, and we should definitely care about that. But also accessibility helps EVERYBODY, because everybody will, at some point in their lives, find themselves in situations that accessible technology can help with. Here are permanent, temporary, and situational disabilities that accessible technology can help with:

Remember that whether something is disabling or not depends on the situation, the environment, the technology, etc. We’re ALL disabled at some point. It is important to support permanently disabled people, but it is also important to remember that accessibility helps us all!

[amarguerite]

🎶 there is power in a union 🎶