abominable snowman

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[totallycorrecttw]

scott: tell him about the birds and the bees!

stiles, to liam: they are disappearing at an alarming rate.

[totallycorrecttw]

allison: nothing is made to be broken!

scott: uh, piñatas.

[totallycorrecttw]

i'm just gonna wing it.

liam dunbar about something he should definitely not wing

[totallycorrecttw]

stiles: be myself? scott, i have one day to win over derek's family. how long did it take before you guys started liking me?

allison: couple weeks.

lydia: six months.

isaac: jury's still out.

stiles: see, scott? 'be myself.' what kind of garbage advice is that?

[totallycorrecttw]

lydia: you can't read it because whoever wrote it was russian!

stiles: i don't care how fast they were writing. it makes no sense.

[totallycorrecttw]

theo: sorry i’m late, i was doing... things...

stiles, comes in, visibly disheveled: HE PUSHED ME DOWN THE STAIRS!

[totallycorrecttw]

laura: where's derek?

peter: oh, he went out.

laura: but he's grounded...?

peter: oh are they not allowed out when they're grounded?

[totallycorrecttw]

scott: all right, we're all going to go around in a circle and each say one nice thing about a pack member, so-

allison: lydia, i would fight a tree for you.

[totallycorrecttw]

stiles: not that i hate you, but you've got one bad habit.

theo: which one?

stiles: breathing.

[totallycorrecttw]

allison: how does one turn off their emotions?

lydia: okay, first go to settings-

lydia: ...i’m a fucking idiot i thought you said emojis-

allison: no, i’m still willing to try this, go ahead, i’m at settings what do i do next

[totallycorrecttw]

talia: derek's at the age when a boy has only one thing on his mind.

peter: ...girls?

talia: homicide.

[totallycorrecttw]

allison: when did you tell me you are a werewolf?!

scott: on our first date i said i was a dog person!

allison: man, you’re right.

[totallycorrecttw]

stiles: so we broke a rule.

derek: yeah, i hope it wasn’t a mistake.

stiles: “i hope it wasn’t a mistake” title of your sex tape? title of our sex tape!

[totallycorrecttw]

scott: excuse me, i seem to have lost my friend, stiles. could i please make an announcement?

clerk: uh... sure

scott: [leans into mic]

scott: goodbye, you little shit

[totallycorrecttw]

stiles: it's pretty muggy out there

lydia: if i go outside and find all our mugs on the lawn i'm leaving you

stiles: *sips coffee from a bowl*

[totallycorrecttw]

stiles: one universe, nine planets, seven seas, seven continents, 809 islands, 204 countries, and i had the unfortunate luck of meeting you.

scott: THERE ARE 8 PLANETS, YOU UNCULTURED SWINE!

stiles: VIVA LA PLUTO, FUCK YOU!

[totallycorrecttw]

scott: so one in every group of four is gay...?

lydia: from what i heard... yeah...

scott: well damn... then one of us is gay...

lydia: possibly.

scott: i hope it's isaac. isaac's fucking cute.

lydia: ...

stiles: ...

allison: ...

derek: ...

scott: what's up with your faces?