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@totallynotaradfem
many men, both irl and in media cannot fathom being jealous of a woman. but they *do* get jealous of women and then they can't comprehend attaining what she has without somehow taking it from her. this sounds like insane feminist theory but it's actually super noticeable once you realize it.
this can look like all different things too, and they're not all super obvious. but at a base level, many men see "this woman has something that I don't" and they can't accept that they feel jealous of her. they have to reframe it as some vague sense of "lack"
then they choose from:
belittling her, so that what she has doesn't seem like anything of worth
caging her, so what she has is reserved for him.
plucking her wings, so that she no longer has something he lacks
making her "teach" him in a very specifiic way that makes him feel like he's realizing it on his own
or a million other little things that make him feel like he has what's hers.
it's always a strange thing to see. she can never be a real inspiration, instead she's just his muse. or a catalyst for him to realize something about himself. or a possession so he can have what she does without having to develop it for himself.
I was always so confused as to why, while I expected this to be a negative thing, the men who outright told me "wow I'm really jealous of how you're able to do XYZ" were far less toxic/mean to me than the men who seemingly weren't jealous (by which I mean they never said they where jealous verbally)
But this explains it so well, these are the exact behaviours I've experienced from men who gave me no indication they where envious of my skill but who did very obviously harbour some negative feelings towards me.
everyone on this app seems to feel the need to out “freak” each other where it feels like more of a performance than actual eroticism. and now love and lust have lost all meaning just so you can say you get off to things like torture porn. which doesn’t make you cooler and/or more interesting. i believe some of you are actually about it, but i also believe most of you are not. you don’t need to be having the “freakiest” sex to have good sex, and you shouldn’t be having the “freakiest” sex just to say you did it. there is this complete disconnection of it all just so other people online can maybe think you’re soooo different, like it’s some sort of competition. what do you have to prove to a bunch of strangers online about the type of sex you’re having? just to have a label as some perverted freak? as some sort of validation? i don’t think the true perverts of the world typically have to prove that sort of thing, but i don’t have a horse in this race. it’s just my opinion.
I get this weird deja vu feeling with these people, like I've seen these weird one ups in other conversations too. Sometimes people will try to put do eachother in their suffering, saying things like"Oh you think your parents are bad? My dad literally threw me down the stairs when I didn't come down in time" "5 hours of sleep? I pulled an all nighter last night and am running on 5 coffees and a redbull" "Oh you skipped dinner? I only ate half an apple and a ricecracker today"
It's this weird masochistic pride that people talk about more openly in eating disorder recovery spaces and the likes. As a society we can recognise that this is not healthy behaviour. But in these freak-off conversations it's not recognised as being unhealthy, it's actively encouraged. But really, what's the difference between those earlier statements and "Oh you think choking is kinky? The type of shit I'm into would make you look like a nun"? It's the same shit, just people taking pride in their own degradation.
Swinging at the hornets nest here (the “sex work is work” crowd won’t like this one lol) but there was a post going around about like “if you work in hospitality and you think you see a sex worker, no you didn’t. Keep your mouth shut and let them make their money” is honestly sending me. As many of you know, one of my jobs is working front desk at a hotel and like no lads…we can’t “look the other way” at times. Yes, we know when the working girls check in (many are regulars who are open about it, plus after working their long enough you Know™️ when a woman is because you can clock the signs) and of course we can’t stop them but there are times when you literally have to say something. Here are a couple of instances that have happened on my shifts alone:
-I was checking in two girls and knew something was off and asked to see both their ID’s. Only one had a passport and her 18th birthday was literally a week ago. The other one handed me her high school student card. We had to call the police when their pimp came in and started making threats bc we refused to check them in.
-a sex worker checked in the night before and a housekeeper went into the room the next morning and found the woman in a bloody mess. There were chunks of human tissue scattered throughout the room (the housekeeper quit after that. Honestly, housekeepers are literally on the front lines of the bullshit but that’s another story)
-something about a “couple” was offfffffff at check in. The woman was standing with her hands behind her back, had her eyes glued to the floor, and wouldn’t answer questions despite her name being on the reservation. The man was answering for her. When I asked to see her ID, he hands it to me, and when I handed it to her, her arms were covered in bruises. We didn’t let them check in
-there are two properties and one of them has an agreement with a women’s shelter. I’ve checked in women into one property only to see them come in months later to the other property under the womens shelters’ reservation with bruises and broken limbs (many of whom are indigenous women).
So yeah bottom line: with the World Cup soon approaching, all of us -front desk, maintenance, housekeeping, the kitchen staff, sales, you name it all departments- have had to do extensive modules on clocking the signs of human trafficking. You can’t just look the other way because it can mean missing the underaged girl or preventing horrific violence. Yes we have our regulars and yes sometimes it is what it is but no you can’t just look the other way and let them “secure the bag” because I guarantee there’s a pimp in the lobby/parking lot who’s the one getting the bag at her expense.
a collective awakening happening on tiktok
It's beautifull. There's also something profoundly ironic about how TIMs preached for years that being gender critical is "white feminism" somehow, and yet, the women speaking up in the last couple of days have been almost exclusively women of colour. Then again, women of colour are usually the ones they like to bully the most so I'm not surprised.
ummm buddy don’t you know that conservatives view two adult women who want to get married exactly like how they view men in diapers who post online about wanting to get raped by dogs ? better start defending them or you’re next
you people can't even boycott chick-fil-a.
listen to sexworkers but only the ones filming anonymously from the comfort of their bedrooms and never the ones who are trafficked or groomed and are forced to do scenes that they don’t want to with people they don’t want to at the risk of their livelihood or even life because those stories bum me outttt and therefore don’t count despite making up the majority of cases.
The assholes openly admit it. The whole point of college is to enforce the hierarchy. When those who were supposed to be low on the hierarchy started going to college, the assholes get angry and want to make them suffer for challenging the hierarchy.
“terf lifestyle” sounds insane because obviously these women will have other interests etc… is she just so evil towards gendies she has to have no other interests, likes, or feelings? i am just appalled by the fact my friends thought i was brainwashed into caring about women..?
i wake up in my terf bed and stretch out my gender abolition muscles and drink a hot cup of critical thinking and then i hop in my abortion car and drive to my feminism job where i spend 8 hours despairing over the false progression of womens rights in modern society and then it’s back in my abortion car to go back to my andrea dworkin home and eat gender critical dinner and go back to terf bed
this might piss some people off but I don’t think some of you actually ever tried to unlearn your hatefulness. you just came out as queer and decided your new targets really truly deserve it this time.
you. you get it.