Fatrat @totallyutterlyclueless - Tumblr Blog

Cinnamon girl but in a Type O Negative way

#girlblogging #this is a girlblog #this is girlhood #cinnamon girl #sweet like cinnamon #now I want cinnamon tea

I need to leave

#i need a fucking cigarette

fraisfraise

Sometimes I'm at work and when I look outside and see a bird flying

I immediately get so restless

Someone get me out of here

#I hate having a job #girlblogging #idk man

Apparently I'm raising concern about not eating enough??

My family thinks I'm starving myself but I just don't want to eat the same leftovers for the 3rd day in a row

Especially when it contains the same damn thing we've been eating for two fucking weeks

#I'm tired of chicken #girlblogging?#I just want something else

I hate that I can't tell if I'm annoying for not

#like please dawg #I'm just trying to talk #girlblogging

It's only Monday but I can already feel I will be bothered all week

#call it a pattern at this point #sometimes I really feel the urge to run away from it all

I feel like the smothering from my family will make me implode into a hermit

#girlblogging #this is hell #every day I feel like I lose a piece of sanity #can't even sit in my car without my brother looking out the window then asking why I was sitting in my car #to fucking breathe #its just all too much I feel like a zoo animal being watched 24/7 #having no privacy to decompress

So like I'm trying to read after being in a reading slump for like most of the summer and its VERY MUCH OBVIOUS that I am reading

Book opening and me READING

But I guess not since I was interrupted by family

I couldn't even make it past a chapter

I got so mad I give up

Tmr will be a new goal of having reading time I guess

#girlblogging #i hate it here #what having no privacy for 18 years lowkey looks like #i need a fucking cigarette

Lowkey haven't taken my birth control in like 3 days oops

#girlblogging #this is girlhood #haha oops #welp

Yea unfortunately I do have the fear of not being able to have fun since I am a first gen in college. It does all rely on me and if I don't make it I am a failure and a financial burden on my family. And because of that I have to be responsible to watch how I study and make grades. But what if I just watch my life go past me because I was responsible? That because I was too busy with being a "success" I watched 10 years go by and I didn't even have fun.

#“these are the best years of your life” ok when does it start #when do I have fun?#or is this all that there is?#girlblogging #idk man #i need a cigarette

It's Saturday night!

My sister is going out

My momma is going out

What am I doing?(⁠ ⁠╹⁠▽⁠╹⁠ ⁠)

Fucking working.

#I'm just gonna fucking kill myself #whole summer just working #fuck my life #i need a fucking cigarette #and a fucking break #girlblogging

Starting college is basically them leading me through a dark tunnel and then all of a sudden they're nowhere to be found so I alone am walking telling myself "it's all gonna work out"

#I'm so stressed #btw the tunnel is a maze #why can they just straight up tell me stuff #why do we need to be confusing??#girlblogging #girlblogging?#idk man #i need a fucking cigarette

I don't CARE if it's summer I need a fur coat NOW

I have plans...

#faux fur ofc #girlblogging #I need to up my swag