Apple Chapter 24
Jeongin looked at Hyunjin, deeply fascinated by his concentration. There was something utterly sensual about the way Hyunjin’s eyes flickered from the canvas to Jeongin, and back again, his wrist moving in sharp movements, the brush in his hands traveling over the surface, immortalizing every bit of Jeongin. Even though he was working in practiced and skilled ways, every stroke of the brush was like a caress against the canvas, his eyes soft and lovingly whenever they met Jeongin’s.
Jeongin breathed in deeply, blinking and trying to reign himself in. He was supposed to pose and be still, not ogle his boyfriend like he was a piece of meat. But Hyunjin wasn’t making it easy.
The shop downstairs steamed rice cakes all day, meaning that even if it was February and ice cold outside, Hyunjin’s apartment was sweltering. Jeongin assumed it was good for Hyunjin’s heat bill, but it made Jeongin very distracted when he was over because it was impossible to wear too much clothing.
Case in point, at the moment Hyunjin was wearing a pair of paint-stained sweatpants and a loose sleeveless tee, arms bare and muscles flexing softly with every movement.
“If you keep looking at me like that I won’t be able to show this picture to anyone,” Hyunjin said with a small smirk as his eyes just briefly met Jeongin’s before he returned to the canvas.
“Hmm, what do you mean?” Jeongin teased, trying not to fidget too much as Hyunjin finished the last of the details.
Hyunjin had drawn the outline a couple of days prior and did most of the painting based on a photo he had taken of Jeongin, but in order to do him justice, Hyunjin wanted to get the fine details done with Jeongin in front of him. It hadn’t taken much convincing to get Jeongin to pose for his boyfriend in the chosen outfit; a loose shirt barely hanging unto his frame along with a pair of jeans so distressed it was up to a few select strings to keep the fabric together.
In his hands was a random book Hyunjin had told him to hold in a lackadaisical manner, which Jeongin had yet to figure out how to pull off correctly, but since Hyunjin hadn’t corrected him at any point, he assumed the artist was satisfied.
“I always look at you like this,” Jeongin said with a lifted eyebrow at his boyfriend.
“And that is why I have to stay ahead of my projects because otherwise I’d never get anything done,” Hyunjin said with a smirk, making Jeongin scoff at him. “Now sit still, I'm trying to finish your eyes,” he added and Jeongin allowed him to return to his work, instead settling in to just watch Hyunjin work while soft music drifted from a speaker in the corner.
Hyunjin looked like an angel with the sharp and rare February sun falling over him like a cape from the window, his blonde hair glowing like a halo.
Jeongin wanted to write him into every book he wrote, immortalizing Hyunjin to the point that he would never be erased from the world even when they were dead and gone, their bones nothing but dust. He could feel it, a myriad of worlds and innumerable characters all with bits and pieces of the man he loved.
In all honesty, Jeongin wanted to do nothing but wax poetically, and perhaps overly dramatic, about Hyunjin for an eternity.
“So, when will your classes end next Friday?” Hyunjin asked in a very uncasual casual tone after a couple of quiet minutes.
“Hmm, the 14th?” Jeongin asked, trying to keep his face still as he leafed through his book slowly. “I should be done around noon, but I was thinking of going out with Yedam. Why?” Jeongin asked, eyes indifferent as they looked up. Hyunjin had stopped working and was watching him with a guarded expression.
“You want to hang out with Yedam… on the 14th of February?” Hyunjin asked as if he couldn’t quite believe Jeongin.
Hyunjin made it almost too easy.
“Yeah, why?” Jeongin asked, trying so hard to stifle his smile. “Something special about that day?”
“It’s Valentine’s day!” Hyunjin objected, dropping his brush and looking at Jeongin with indignation. “You’re telling me you want to spend the day of lovers with your friend?”
“You’re so easy,” Jeongin laughed loudly, covering his mouth with his hand, reveling in Hyunjin’s betrayed glare. His joyous expression quickly slipped off his face when Hyunjin threw down his palette and stormed over to Jeongin, ticklish intent clear in his eyes.
“No, no, no,” Jeongin squeaked, sliding down so he could use his bare feet to keep Hyunjin away from him. “You can’t get paint on me,” Jeongin warned, foot placed on Hyunjin's chest to keep him away, his eyes still sparkling with happiness. “It would ruin your aesthetics.”
He laughed when Hyunjin sighed and retreated, dropping himself down in the chair next to the mattress, and crossed his arms with an annoyed huff and pouted.
Jeongin giggled, put his book down, and scooted up to sit beside Hyunjin. “I haven’t forgotten Valentine’s Day, Hyun,” he said softly, trying to look adorable as he smiled at Hyunjin. “I will be done around noon. I thought we’d start out with coffee at our café,” he added, placing a small kiss on Hyunjin’s cheek, trying to console his still pouting boyfriend.
“I wanted to try and get us dinner at a fancy restaurant,” Hyunjin said softly, eyes falling to his lap. “But it’s impossible to get a table anywhere and I…” Hyunjin trailed off, his eyes looking sad and far away.
Jeongin sighed, shaking his head.
“I don’t care about money, Hyun,” Jeongin said, heart hurting. It wasn't a problem between them per se, but since Jeongin’s parents hadn’t stopped their monthly transfers of money - mostly likely a sign that his father was having a guilty conscience - it was obvious that Jeongin had a lot more money than Hyunjin, who only had his art scholarship and the money he made at the 24-hour mart he worked at.
Not that Jeongin was using much of his allowance at the moment anyway since he was trying to save up anything he could in case the monthly transfers suddenly stopped. He had picked up a few shifts at the library and had persuaded Ryujin at their café to train him as a barista. Jeongin was now slowly getting the hang of making leaves out of foamed milk.
Still, none of them had a lot of money to spend.
“I know Felix is all up in the clouds over Changbin getting them a reservation at that super fancy place,” Jeongin said trying to catch his boyfriend's eyes. “But I don’t care. Actually, I’d prefer it if we didn’t go anywhere fancy. What matters is that we have a day together to stare at each other, and if we end up getting fried chicken and take the opportunity to have my apartment all to ourselves, then that would actually be perfect.”
“You sure?” Hyunjin asked, looking up shyly, his fingers fumbling with the string of his sweatpants nervously.
“Yes, Hyun, I'm sure,” Jeongin smiled, reaching out to bump their feet together. “I love you, not the idea of a perfect date. And it’s a Friday in February. There will be more of those in the future.”
“You always seem so sure we’ll be together forever,” Hyunjin said, eyes trained on Jeongin. “How can you be so sure? No one has ever lasted this long with me,” Hyunjin admitted, biting his lip.
“The others weren’t me,” Jeongin replied honestly, staring at his boyfriend. Hyunjin’s doubts weren’t new, but Jeongin was just glad he voiced them. “You were made for me and I for you. Of course, it didn't work with the others. I know for sure that I won't love anyone as much as I love you. There is nothing to even doubt there,” he said, trying to fill his voice with all the honesty he had. “There will ever only be room for you in my heart. Only you, Hyunjin.”
Hyunjin just looked at him, nervously twisting his fingers. Jeongin knew it wasn't that Hyunjin didn’t believe him, it was that all his experience spoke against what Jeongin was saying… and that was okay. Jeongin would convince Hyunjin one day. His doubts would never shake the foundation upon which their relationship was built. Jeongin just had to strengthen it every now and then, and that was fine. More than fine, actually.
Jeongin would never get tired of telling Hyunjin how much he loved and cared for him.
“I love you,” Hyunjin said softly, not meeting Jeongin’s eyes. “I can’t be as eloquent as you… But I hope you’re right. I’d like to paint you when you’re old and gray,” he added almost shyly and Jeongin felt his heart warm. He really didn’t doubt Hyunjin’s love.
What they had was forever.
“So, Friday,” Hyunjin said with an awkward cough, clearly wishing to talk about something else. Sometimes emotions got too much for Hyunjin, and that was fine. Jeongin wasn't one to speak, he still struggled with his own most of the time. “Coffee, and maybe splurging on some fancy takeout?”
“Felix is out all night. Changbin hasn’t told him but he booked a hotel room with a huge bath and a city view,” Jeongin said, his toes caressing Hyunjin’s ankle. “He looked really weird when he talked about it, so I think it’s some kind of fantasy of theirs to fuck in a penthouse, or in a big bath or something, but I didn’t want to know, so I didn’t ask,” Jeongin continued, pulling a laugh out of his boyfriend and making his shoulders relax.
“Weirdoes,” Hyunjin said with a fond shake of his head. “So, we really have the place to ourselves. Just the two of us?”
“Hmm,” Jeongin agreed with a smirk. “But nothing sexual on the couch. Felix and I made rules, and really, the living room is for kissing only.”
“I prefer your bed anyway,” Hyunjin said flirtatiously. “More space to spread you out,” he said with a wink, making Jeongin blush.
“Easier for you to pretend not to have the energy to get up, and make excuses to stay the night, you mean,” Jeongin said, laughing when Hyunjin looked at him with a pout. “Which is lovely because I love sleeping next to my big, warm boyfriend,” Jeongin said, pairing the words with a series of obnoxious kissing sounds.
“Good to know you find me hot,” Hyunjin said with a smirk, earning himself a shove from Jeongin. “And your brother,” he added, words once again a little too casual as he reached out to pick up his lip balm, fumbling with it. “Is he still coming next week?”
“So far, yes, but if not next week, then the week after,” Jeongin said, still stoking Hyunjin’s ankle with his toes. “You don’t have to come with me if you don’t want to, you know.”
“As if I’d let you go meet him alone,” Hyunjin said, voice dark as he looked at Jeongin. “I’m not letting them hurt you again. I know you say he just wants to talk, but I don't trust him.”
“And you don’t have to,” Jeongin said, reaching out to take Hyunjin’s hand. “I just need you to know that my family drama is optional. But if you want to come with me, then I’m sure as hell not gonna stop you. The sooner he meets you, the sooner he'll get used to seeing us together, and the sooner things will stop being weird. At least his girlfriend is super nice.”
It wasn’t that Jeonghwan didn’t accept Jeongin’s choices and Hyunjin’s place in his life. It was just that he was perhaps just a tiny bit overprotective. His girlfriend had been quick to latch onto Jeongin and they had messaged quite a lot on Instagram. Unlike what his mother seemed to believe, Hwayoung’s family was a lot less strict, and as it turned out Hwayoung was very accepting. Apparently, she was an avid BL reader, and, well, Jeongin wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth even if it might be a bit unexpected. Progress had to come from somewhere, he supposed.
“I'm all in, family drama and all,” Hyunjin said, still fidgeting with his lip balm. “It can’t really be worse than my own, can it?” He added bitterly, eyes fleeing out the window briefly. Jeongin had finally told him about when Jeongin had confronted Hyunjin’s parents a few weeks ago, and it had led to a very long talk and quite a lot of tears.
Jeongin had the feeling that Hyunjin never had the opportunity to really talk about what happened, and after everything he had done for Jeongin, well, he was making damn sure Hyunjin never felt alone with his problems anymore.
“Good thing we come equally broken,” Jeongin said soothingly as he caught Hyunjin’s eyes. “Told you we were perfect for each other,” he added sugary sweet, succeeding in making Hyunjin hold back a giggle as he finally uncapped his lip balm.
“Sap,” Hyunjin said, the sweet scent of vanilla filling the room. Jeongin eyes followed the lip balm as it moved over his boyfriend's lips and the dark desire that had been bubbling in his stomach reemerged.
“Can I have some?” Jeongin asked as he sat up, leaning closer to Hyunjin, the mattress creaking under him as he got on his knees, elbows on Hyunjin’s thigh. Hyunjin raised an eyebrow, looking down at Jeongin.
“Sure,” Hyunjin said, but instead of handing the lip balm to Jeongin, he put the cap back on and dropped it on the table next to the chair. “Come here,” he said, gesturing for Jeongin to lean in closer. Jeongin complied with a roll of his eyes, playing along as he leaned in to capture Hyunjin’s lips with familiar ease.
As always, the touch of Hyunjin’s lips against his own felt like coming home. The movement of their lips was effortless and natural, and contentment flooded Jeongin all the way down to his toes.
This was his home, his heart, his everything.
Jeongin was embraced by the sweet scent of vanilla as his boyfriend’s lips moved against his own slowly, and softly, an air of serenity shared between them. Jeongin sighed into the kiss, and Hyunjin hummed in response and broke the kiss to look at Jeongin with all the love in the world.
“I love you, Jeongin,” he whispered, smiling against Jeongin’s lips. “I love you so much, it sometimes hurts,” Hyunjin admitted, connecting their lips together again, just as sweet and soft as before. Jeongin’s heart ached for Hyunjin when he reached his hands out, cradling Hyunjin’s face between his hands, softly caressing the other until they broke apart to catch their breath.
“I love you too, Hyunjin, so much that I wouldn’t mind sharing your pain. All of it, share it with me and we’ll be okay,” Jeongin said, pulling back to look at Hyunjin properly. His boyfriend had slightly wet eyes, clearly feeling the overwhelming emotion love sometimes could become.
“We’ll be okay, Hyun,” Jeongin promised, softly kissing Hyunjin’s lips once before he connected them again, this time inviting Hyunjin in on his own request, allowing the other to deepen the kiss. Jeongin leaned back, hand on Hyunjin’s cheek as he settled back properly on the bed. Hyunjin followed along easily, the two of them still connected.
Jeongin broke the kiss to catch his breath, while Hyunjin settled between his legs, leaving sweet trails of kissing down the side of Jeongin’s throat, latching on to a spot, softly nibbling the skin. Jeongin took in a shaky breath before he drew Hyunjin up to connect their lips in a bruising kiss.
Hyunjin pulled his lower lip between his teeth, sucking lightly on it before he delved back in, pressing Jeongin deeper into the mattress. Hyunjin let his hands travel, planting fleeting touches over Jeongin as he allowed himself to be commanded around and touched all over. Jeongin felt the fire beginning to burn in his veins, the all too recognizable craving for more, more, more filling him to the brim.
“Hyun,” Jeongin breathed against Hyunjin’s lips, his eyes closed and his mind in a daze. “I wanna be on top, please.”
Hyunjin nodded, planting a last vanilla-flavored kiss against Jeongin’s lips, before he allowed himself to be manhandled into a lying position, as Jeongin threw his legs over his hips, straddling Hyunjin.
Hyunjin looked up at him, his eyes full of adoration when Jeongin dipped down, capturing his lips again, this time taking control of the movements himself. He searched for Hyunjin’s hands, and planted them on each side of him, moaning when Hyunjin used this newfound power to guide him down, pushing Jeongin against Hyunjin’s growing desire.
“Hyun,” Jeongin moaned into Hyunjin’s mouth, planting his hands on Hyunjin’s chest to stabilize himself when he pulled away. “I don't think this is the best way to apply lip balm.”
“Are you complaining?” Hyunjin asked, hands tightening around Jeongin’s waist, holding him in place as he pushed up. Jeongin closed his eyes, exhaling shakily at the pleasure racing through him. “Because I can always stop,” Hyunjin added, teasing as his soft lips slid over Jeongin’s own in a soft enticing caress.
Jeongin claimed his lover’s lips, delved deeper, stealing Hyunjin’s breath away. He swallowed down another moan, pushing himself closer as Hyunjin’s hands clutched at his waist, thighs cradling Hyunjin’s hips as they each pushed to be closer, to be one.
“Don’t you dare stop, Hyun,” Jeongin whispered, his hands coming up to comb through Hyunjin’s hair. “Don’t you ever stop,” Jeongin added, tugging harshly at Hyunjin’s hair.
Hyunjin moaned as Jeongin deepened the kiss, pushing them closer. They rubbed against each other, and the bubbling desire that had been simmering in Jeongin for most of the day blossomed as he felt Hyunjin against him, hard and impatient. Jeongin bit Hyunjin’s lips, earning himself another moan.
“Fuck, Innie,” Hyunjin said, hands sliding from Jeongin’s waist, further down, groping and guiding him down again, giving both of them a rush of pleasure. “You’re going to kill me.”
“I’ve only just started,” Jeongin smiled, placing small pecks all over Hyunjin’s face. Jeongin loved this, the closeness of the two of them, the familiarity, and the care for each other.
“Mmm, true,” Hyunjin muttered, eyes zeroing in on Jeongin’s neck as he began to place rows of kisses up the column of Jeongin’s throat. “I’ll wait till after,” he teased and Jeongin punished him with another tug at his hair which made them slide closer. Jeongin hissed as they rubbed together, both of them clearly straining to be closer.
“Don’t you ever leave me, though,” Jeongin said, eyes suddenly serious as he stared at Hyunjin, a strange fear filling him at the thought of a life without the man in his arms. He hadn’t had any nightmares since Christmas but the fear was still there. Three years without Hyunjin had been enough.
Jeongin wouldn’t survive losing him one more time.
“We go together, or not at all,” Hyunjin said as he stared at Jeongin seriously. He pressed them closer. “There is no one else for me either,” he said, kissing Jeongin so softly and tenderly he almost wanted to cry.
“I love you,” Jeongin whispered, like a secret between the two of them even if the whole world already knew.
“I love you, too,” Hyunjin replied, his lips caressing Jeongin with every word. “In this life and whatever comes next,” he continued, sealing his words with a deep kiss. Jeongin moaned as Hyunjin guided him down again, clinging on to him like his life depended on it.
Their lips slid together, kisses deepening as their hands began to wander. Jeongin would never get tired of this. The feeling of Hyunjin’s warmth against him, the feeling of his silken hair running through his fingers, or his velvety skin under his fingertips, the song of their lips meeting and the sighs and moans they drew from each other.
Jeongin could kiss Hyunjin for years, decades, and centuries and he would never grow tired. If Hyunjin just kept touching him like this, making pleasure rush over him in waves, Jeongin could die happy.
Hyunjin was playing with the hem of Jeongin’s pants, fingers fidgeting with the hem over his lower back and making Jeongin go crazy slowly.
Hyunjin liked to tease, drag it out and drive Jeongin up the wall. Jeongin was all too familiar with how Hyunjin could easily spend an hour just teasing, and tantalizing Jeongin, keeping him from pleasure.
Thankfully Jeongin could play this game as well.
“Hmm, you know I think there is something you forgot to tell me about your religion,” Jeongin said as he broke their kiss, pushing himself back so he could stare at Hyunjin. “A very important part about worship,” Jeongin muttered as he got off Hyunjin and the bed and fell back onto his knees in front of Hyunjin, situating himself between the other’s legs, his hands teasingly running up and down the insides of Hyunjin’s thighs.
“Innie,” Hyunjin moaned as Jeongin dragged his hands up Hyunjin’s thigh, his hand grazing the place where the other was straining against the fabric of his sweatpants. His boyfriend was watching him, eyes widening as Jeongin’s hands traveled higher, fingers hooking into his sweats and pulled down. Hyunjin knew better than to object and lifted his hips allowing Jeongin to pull the garment off completely.
“Love is a sacrament that should be taken while kneeling,” Jeongin said, smiling devilishly as he leaned in.
“Are you seriously quoting Oscar Wilde while -” Hyunjin didn't get to finish his sentence as he moaned when Jeongin took him in his mouth, his familiar taste spreading on his tongue.
Jeongin looked up at Hyunjin through his eyelashes, eyes locked on him as he moved, sinking lower, swallowing Hyunjin deeply.
oOo
Jeongin sighed softly as he looked down on his coffee. This had sounded like a bad idea from the start, and he was a little sad he hadn’t listened to himself when he planned this. He sent his brother a pleading look, urging him to behave when Hyunjin clearly wasn’t in the right mindset to act properly either.
Jeongin drummed his fingers against the thigh of his boyfriend, hoping Hyunjin would pull himself together soon.
Hyunjin, actively ignoring Jeongin’s pleading touches, raised his hand to his mouth and took another bite of his apple, the crunch almost obnoxiously loud in the silence between them.
Jeongin raised his eyebrow at his boyfriend , staring him down with a miffed expression . Hyunjin smiled innocently back, chewing slowly as he stretched out his arm and pulled Jeongin close to him, anchoring his hand on Jeongin’s shoulder.
“So,” Jeonghwan said, voice tight as he straightened his blazer and fidgeted with his napkin. “How did you even meet?” He asked tensely, eyes narrowing when Hyunjin took another loud bite.
Jeongin wanted to hit both of them.
“I became friends with some of Innie’s friends,” Hyunjin replied as he swallowed, licking his lips. He tilted his head to the side, his fringe falling in over his eyes. “Met at their weekly get-together night. I’m not gonna lie , it took us quite a while to get past the whole me-being-declared-dead thing,” he added, his voice dripping acid as he gave Jeonghwan a borderline murderous glare, before sinking his teeth into the apple again, tearing off a bite. “Jeongin was pretty shocked, to say the least.”
Jeongin sighed, glancing down at his own coffee. At least that wasn’t insisting on maintaining the almost suffocatingly tense atmosphere.
“I can imagine. A surprise he recognized you,” Jeonghwan said pointedly, giving Hyunjin a once over. “You’ve changed… quite a lot.”
“Hmm, I always look my very best for Jeonginnie , isn’t that right?” Hyunjin drawled, finishing the apple with one last bite, the arms around Jeongin tightening its hold, his fingers digging possessively into Jeongin’s shoulder. “I always want to show him beautiful things,” Hyunjin said with a smile that made Jeongin blush a little just looking at it.
Hyunjin had indeed done his utmost with his appearance. He was looking his very best, but also his very worst. There was no doubt that he had put on an attire he knew would provoke .
He had put time into styling his hair up, tying the long newly dyed blond strands up in a half-up half-down bun, a few strands colored blue to match his shirt and just a touch of what looked like glitter sprayed onto it making it shimmer in the light from above. Jeongin could excuse that by just saying Hyunjin had come from his studio, just making some finishing touches on some of his works.
Jeongin didn’t really have any explanation for the rest of his boyfriend’s outfit.
His shirt looked a little like he was going to a party, and not a first meeting with his boyfriend’s brother. It was a deep royal blue that made Hyunjin’s skin look smooth as silk and his hair light like a fairy’s. It didn’t help that it was interlaced with thin panels of lace making it very sexy and seductive. Jeongin’s mind had already been gracious enough to make some very indecent plans for when they came home.
And then there was the make-up. Hyunjin had gone all out with his eyeliner, the fine black line intensifying the dangerous glare he was sending Jeonghwan. His eyelids shimmered with golden shades which were doing their very best at keeping Jeongin’s attention on Hyunjin only.
Hyunjin was dressed to turn heads, and, boy, was it working. Jeongin was a little afraid he would have to start hosing down some of the people around them with the way they were looking at him. Jeongin couldn’t blame them, but he still felt possessiveness boil within him whenever someone’s eyes lingered too long on Hyunjin.
It was all a very stark contrast to Jeongin’s brother who was dressed in an unassuming blue polo shirt, plain slacks and a matching blazer, looking more like he was on his way to a lawyer lunch eon than a casual cup of coffee at a café.
Jeongin himself was dressed a little in between the two extremes; distressed jeans, a neat sweater, a choker Hyunjin had forced around his neck and his cross.
“Hyunjin looks like he always did,” Jeongin defended with a little cough, trying his best to stay neutral. “A change of hair color wouldn’t make me forget those eyes,” he said with what he hoped was a casual smile.
Given that Hyunjin started smirking proudly and his brother looked a little slighted, Jeongin assumed he had failed.
“So it was my eyes you recognized, hmm?” Hyunjin asked, voice dark and seductive as he pointedly stoked his thumb over Jeongin’s shoulder before he pulled his arm back, taking Jeongin’s hand into his own, intertwining their fingers and placing them on the table, right in front of Jeonghwan..
“It was all of you,” Jeongin deadpanned, giving his boyfriend a look that told him to behave. “You’re hard to forget,” he added with a roll of his eyes.
“And, Hyunjin, you’re an artist, right?” Jeongwan asked, eyes on their joined hands. “Something you can earn a living on?”
“ Indeed, I’m an artist. I have an art scholarship, and as you might not know, those are very hard to get your hands on. I also write lyrics on the side with an up-and-coming producer group,” Hyunjin said with a shrug, squeezing Jeongin’s hand.
“Yeah, Chan, you remember him,” Jeongin was quick to break in. “He started his own little company that sells songs. They wrote a song for that group you like,” Jeongin added with a hint of pride.
“Hmm,” was all Jeonghwan said. Jeongin gave him a hard look. “That is very well done of your friends. You have to tell me which one and I’ll listen to it later.”
“It’s really good. And Hyunjin’s art is also really good, you saw the post I made the other day, right?” Jeongin said with a smile, wishing he could just go home and come back when these two idiots were ready to pull their heads out their asses.
“Hmm, the painting of you half undressed?” Jeonghwan scoffed disapprovingly while Hyunjin’s smile just grew wider.
“The one where my shirt was barely open, yes,” Jeongin said tiredly. “It was Hyunjin who painted that. I found it to be a very nice depiction of me,” he added, pointedly taking a sip of his coffee.
“ Is art something you can make a living out of, in this day and age? I’m simply asking to make sure my baby brother has someone who can take care of him,” Jeonghwan said with a harsh look at Hyunjin. “After all, Jeongin is precious to me and I love him with my whole heart. The person who he chooses to love matters to me.”
“Well, good thing Jeongin is the single most important person in my life,” Hyunjin said with a bit of anger in his voice as he clutched Jeongin’s hand tightly. “He’s not just my boyfriend, he’s my best friend and family.”
“Family is blood,” Jeonghwan said, leaning back in his seat as he looked Hyunjin over. “Family is something you have, not something you just gain after dating for a few months.”
“It’s a whole lot fucking mo-” Hyunjin said, anger flicking in his eyes.
“Hyunjin is family,” Jeongin said, words heavy with finality. “And he will stay family so you two better quit whatever it is you’re doing, or I’ll walk out and leave both of you here alone,” he said, voice sharp. “Jeonghwan, I get you want to protect me, but Hyunjin isn’t the reason I converted. He isn’t why I'm gay, and I’m sure as hell not just doing all of this over some fling, or whatever you’re thinking, so pack it up,” Jeongin said, eyes narrowing as he looked at his brother. “I love Hyun with all my heart. Have done so for years. I don’t need him to take care of me because I can do so myself,” he added, turning to his boyfriend who was smirking at his brother.
“And don’t you start, Hyun,” Jeongin said with a hard look. “You could try and be a little more cooperative. Jeonghwan isn’t my parents. He supports me and loves me. If he didn't, he wouldn’t be here. You both need to give each other a chance, otherwise this won’t work,” he finished, lifting Hyunjin’s hand to give it a kiss just to dull the harnesh of his words a little.
It wasn’t that Jeongin didn’t understand Hyunjin. He was the one who had comforted Jeongin over his parents’ reaction back in December, the one who had been kicked out and declared dead by his own parents, and he was also the one picking up Jeongin whenever he got unsure… but they had to meet in the middle somehow.
“So, Jeonghwan, how’s university?” Jeongin asked, turning to his brother who was looking at him a little shocked.
“Is he always so scary?” Jeonghwan asked, looking at Hyunjin who nodded.
“Worse,” Hyunjin replied with a smile. “Never play monopoly with him either. He’ll skin you. He's like a little mob boss in a good Christian’s body.”
“Hey!” Jeongin protested halfheartedly. He was just relieved they had managed to speak to each other once without trying to provoke one another.
“Well, then,” Jeonghwan said with a smile turning to Jeongin. “University is good. I’m looking very much forward to being done soon,” he added while taking a sip of his coffee. His shoulders were still a little tense, but at least he was trying.
“What kind of law are you studying?” Hyunjin asked as he looked at Jeongin briefly before turning to look at Jeonghwan. “Something respectable, I hope,” he added with a teasing smirk, but there was no malice in it this time.
Jeongin sighed, turning to listen to his brother talk about his degree .
oOo
“I'm glad you came,” Jeongin muttered into his brother’s neck, holding on for dear life and breathing in the familiar scent of him. “I missed you,” he added in a tiny voice. Jeongin still didn’t regret his decision, not at all, but it was hard. He missed his mom calling and as much as he used to fear her phone calls, he still felt a tug in his stomach when the phone rang and it wasn’t her.
“I'm glad I came,” his brother said, holding on equally tight. “And he isn’t that bad once he loosens up a little,” he was silent for a short moment before he moved on. “But if he hurts you, I’ll… figure out how much penance I have to pay for beating him to the brink of death,” he added, pulling away so he could look at Jeongin.
“You have to get in line,” Jeongin said, looking over to where Hyunjin was waiting and drawing way too much attention while he gave them the chance to say goodbye privately. “The rest of my friends have already been after us. And I really do love him,” he said, turning to look at his brother.
“I know. I can see it in your eyes,” Jeonghwan smiled sadly, cadling Jeongin’s face with one hand. “My little brother, all grown up with a boyfriend,” his eyes strayed to Hyunjin as he sighed. “ I wish I could do more to make mom and dad see reason, but… ”
“That you’re here is enough,” Jeongin said with a small smile. “That you try. It means a lot to me. And to Hyunjin. ”
“They’ll get there,” his brother said, smile getting wry. “One day. Jeonghui and I have at least made it clear what we think. The ball is in their court.”
“Maybe one day,” Jeongin said without much hope. “But tell Hwayoung I look forward to meeting her. She seems really nice.”
“Next time, I’ll try to bring her and Jeonghui… maybe we could meet all of your friends. Have a family get-together?” Jeonghwan asked, pulling away from Jeongin with a hesitant smile.
“I’d like that,” Jeongin said, chest feeling a little lighter. “Now get out of here, or you’ll be late,” Jeongin huffed, pushing his brother out the door and away.
With a few short goodbyes Jeongin sent his brother on his way, staring at him until he got lost in the crowd.
“He’s not too bad,” Hyunjin said as he walked over to Jeongin, leaning in and taking his hand carefully out of view from the people walking by. “I can see a lot of you in him.”
“Hmm, he didn’t hate you either so you can relax,” Jeongin said with a smile, tugging at Hyunjin’s hand and began the walk home. “It was nice seeing him,” he added with a deep sigh, looking up at the gray sky above wondering if perhaps it would snow later. It was mid February, Valentine’s Day just a few short days away and the weather app had been predicting snow for a while.
Jeongin sighed, leaning a little into Hyunjin as they slowly made their way home.
The last two months had been the best and hardest in Jeongin’s life. He and Hyunjin had truly settled into each other’s lives. Hyunjin had taken him to a party to meet all his art friends and spent the whole night preening like a peacock as he showed Jeongin off. Everyone had seemingly already heard of Jeongin and had been happy to meet him… and share their best stories about dumb things Hyunjin had done.
Jeongin in turn had introduced Hyunjin to both Yedam and Seojin which had gone better than expected, and as it usually did, life went on. Jeongin only took literary courses and while the semester was only just starting, he was already loving it so much more than he thought he would.
And well, things with Hyunjin were perfect, or as perfect as they could be. Their edges were still rounding, fitting better together as the days passed. They had experienced their first fight which led to Jeongin storming out and slamming the door in Hyunjin’s face. It had been so insignificant that he couldn’t even remember what it had been about anymore, but he remembered the fury and the anger that had lasted until he was at the end of the stairs when common sense sat in, and he had turned on his heel and went back, meeting Hyunjin halfway up the stairs, both of them falling into each other’s arms and apologizing.
Since then they had tried talking more, and Jeongin was getting better at setting his own boundaries, crying when he needed to cry and voicing his anger and annoyance before it became fury. Hyunjin was getting better at saying when he needed affection and when he needed space, when he wanted Jeongin to be possessive to soothe his insecurities and when to remind him he was loved.
They were growing. Slowly, comfortably and together.
But it wasn't all nice.
Jeongin had slowly begun to learn what it meant to be open and out. He recalled a situation when Hyunjin had picked him up at church, and Jeongin had been confronted by one of the older men at church, telling him he perhaps shouldn’t kiss his ‘friend’ in front of church, ordering Jeongin to ‘think of the kids’.
Jeongin had been stunned to his very core.
It had only gotten worse when one of his neighbors had seen Hyunjin kiss him goodnight, and since then had dragged her son forcefully away from Jeongin, as if gayness was contagious, and Jeongin was jumping around like a cartoon devil trying to inflict it on as many innocent children as possible.
Jeongin had begun to talk about it with Felix, and it had been both sad and a bit relieving to know that was normal. Still, Jeongin tried not to let it bother him. He kissed Hyunjin goodnight like he always did, and kissed him when he picked him up in front of church.
Jeongin had burned all his bridges, turned his life upside down to be himself, and he wasn’t about to let a bunch of bigots change that.
And well, perhaps it wasn’t perfect, but to Jeongin it still felt like perfection.
“You seem like you’re far away,” Hyunjin said, tugging gently at Jeongin’s hand. “Feeling sad?”
“No. Yes. Maybe,” Jeongin said with a little sigh. “It’s not as easy as I want it to be. But I don't feel like breaking down crying, so that's an improvement,” Jeongin smiled, thinking back to the first time he had spoken with his brother during Christmas. Really, he doubted he had ever cried more than he had on that day.
His hand came up, pressing his cross gratefully to his chest under his clothes.
“They’ll come around,” Hyunjin promised as he tightened his hand around Jeongin’s fingers.
“Hmm, and if they don’t, I’ll survive,” Jeongin said with another glance at the sky. “I have you, I have our friends, my brothers, Yedam, Seojin… I have my own family. So, if they don’t want to be part of it, then that is their problem.”
“You sound so wise,” Hyunjin said with a smile, looking around before he leaned in and gave Jeongin a quick peck.
“Because I am,” Jeongin said with a wink and a laugh. “Also, I completely forgot to tell you,” he said, turning to look up at Hyunjin slightly. “You look so fucking gorgeous today, and it was not fair of you to dress like this, knowing I had to sit in front of my brother and pretend like I didn’t want to lean over, and tear all of it off you the moment I saw you,” Jeongin said, voice dark as he licked his lips, turning to walk away.
Beside him, Hyunjin stumbled over his feet.
“Innie!” Hyunjin complained with a shocked laugh. “You can’t say that to me when we were out,” he pouted but his cheeks were getting flushed in a way that had nothing to do with either the cold nor the embarrassment.
“Then don’t tease me,” Jeongin said, swinging their hands between them as they turned down a quiet road, just them and a high schooler on his way home.
“You know,” Hyunjin said, voice suddenly getting a little serious as he pulled to a stop under a bare tree stretching out over a wall, most likely from a little garden. It was wrapped up in fairy lights and Jeongin couldn’t help remembering their first date. The kiss under the lights, the paper snow and the feeling of absolute joy that had rushed through him. It seemed like it was yesterday, and yet, it felt like it has been a century since then. “I really, really love you,” he said, looking directly into Jeongin’s soul.
“And I really, really love you, too,” Jeongin said, a beautiful smile blossoming on his face as he stared at his boyfriend. It was getting dark soon and above them the lights turned on, making Jeongin look up with a smile. It was like little stars, shining their blessing down upon them.
He felt Hyunjin lift his hand and Jeongin looked back down to meet Hyunjin’s serious eyes.
“‘Put my name like a seal on your heart, like a mark on your arm,’” he said, frowning in concentration and Jeongin’s heart did a little flip. “'For love is stronger than death,’” he quoted, the words from the Bible coming out messily and wrong, but Jeongin’s heart skipped a beat and an expression of pure love blossomed on his face.
“‘It’s jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame,’” Jeongin finished for him, getting the end of the quote right. He smiled at his boyfriend adoringly. “That’s the verse my father quoted to my mother when they got engaged,” he said, the memory of his mother repeating it over and over as she stared adoringly at his father filling him.
“You used to always come and ask me about the quotes in Bible study, didn’t you?” Hyunjin said, biting his lip as he looked at Jeongin.
“You remembered?” Jeongin asked, surprised. “But I thought you could only remember my brother?”
“I found some of your old pictures when you were cleaning up yesterday, and I suddenly remembered how you looked. You were tiny when you were seventeen. All smiles, and these,” he said trailing a gloved finger over Jeongin’s cheekbones, “Weren't there yet.”
“Don’t remind me,” Jeongin laughed, shaking his head. “I looked like a kid till I was like nineteen.”
“I never had the guts to tell you that you were most likely better at getting meaning out of them than me,” Hyunjin admitted. “Everytime you came up to me I panicked not knowing what to tell you. You just used to stare at me with those big eyes,” he said fondly. Jeongin treasured his smile, knowing it was rare for Hyunjin to think about anything good happening before he moved to Seoul.
“I only asked you because I loved listening to your voice,” Jeongin confessed, laughing as Hyunjin stared at him surprised. “What? You looked so cute leafing through your bible, desperately looking for the quote I was asking about,” Jeongin sighed, remembering how absolutely lost in Hyunjin he had been back then.
It was even worse now.
“So you didn’t even need my help?” Hyunjin asked, lifting an eyebrow as Jeongin shook his head. “I kind of should have known that,” he admitted with a laugh and pulled Jeongin into his chest, arms sliding around him. “I'm glad we got to meet again though,” Hyunjin said, voice suddenly serious. “And that we were both ready to meet each other this time. If there is a God, I’m happy about that part at least.”
“Aere perrennius,” Jeongin said softly, loving how Hyunjin’s eyes grew dark with the use of the language. Who would have thought learning Latin would have this kind of advantage? “More lasting than bronze,” Jeongin translated with a smile. “That is what our love is, Hyun, more lasting than bronze.”
“Some might mistake that for a proposal,” Hyunjin said, voice dark as he watched Jeongin’s lips with rapt attention.
“Hmm, not yet,” Jeongin said with a coy smile. “But one day, when I’m ready, when you’re ready, Hyun, I will propose… so take it as a promise. One day you’ll be mine forever in the eyes of God and the world. I will either find a way, or make one,” he added, leaning up pressing his lips quickly to Hyunjin’s just as the snow began to fall around them.
“Oh,” Jeongin said, pulling back and looking up. “Hyun, it’s snowing,” he grinned, beaming at his boyfriend, whose only reply was to lean back in and catch his lips again, sealing their love with a deep kiss.
Jeongin smiled into the kiss, throwing his arms around Hyunjin’s shoulders, savoring the taste of apples from his soulmate’s lips.