RMH
Misplaced Lens Cap
trying on a metaphor

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@toushos
HIII I LOVE U BTW!!! I love Coltland I just finished your fics and scrolled on ur blog... u feed my obsession w them so well <3 we need more twincest in our lives <3 <3 anyways yay mwuah that's all I wanted to say have a good day :)
this is so sweet omg 🥹🥹🫶🏻🫶🏻 giggling kicking my feet thank you so much!!! i’m glad to feed the fellow coltland enjoyers <33
does colt sleep naked as an adult yes or yes
and does ryland discover this unwillingly when he’s staying over early into them officially dating and proceed to start internally freaking out as colt wordlessly starts stripping because he thought they were just sleeping WAIT HOLD O—
and ryland’s like, becoming increasingly red, “colt? what- what are you doing?”
and colt, down to just his underwear and nothing else, drops his pants into a nearby hamper and frowns.
“um.” he looks down at himself, then at ryland in bed. “getting ready to… sleep?”
ryland blinks, trying very very hard not to let his eyes stray below colt’s chest. it’s. a lot of skin. and while that’s not necessarily new for them, it feels different in this context. very different.
strained and reedy, ryland manages, “naked?”
ryland watches in real time as realization dawns on colt’s face; the confused frown melts away, lips parting and brows lifting.
“oh,” is all he says. he runs a hand through his hair, pink in the cheeks. he’s suddenly unable to maintain eye contact.
ryland, draped in colt’s clothes that are too big around the thighs and shoulders, just watches.
colt’s next word is, “uh…” and he wordlessly walks back to the hamper and grabs his pants.
“you don’t—” ryland starts, embarrassment cutting him off when colt immediately halts.
his back muscles are genuinely insulting. who the hell needs all that? good lord.
it’s still an easier sight than front-facing. then colt turns around, pants in hand. fantastic.
he blinks expectantly, waiting for ryland to continue. ryland feels a lot warmer than he did a couple minutes ago.
“you don’t… have to,” ryland swallows, “uh. be- be dressed.”
flawless execution, really. couldn’t have worded it better. ryland nearly facepalms.
instead, he shakily clears his throat, staring very intently at colt’s shoulder and NOT anything below that—
“if you don’t want to, i mean,” ryland continues. “not that— i mean, i don’t mind. either way.“
a quick glance at colt’s face makes ryland want to bury himself under these sheets and never resurface. his lips are pressed together, brows halfway up his forehead. ryland can’t tell if he’s trying not to laugh or if he’s surprised.
ryland’s mouth keeps moving without his consent. “actually, it’s great if you don’t. y— for you. you know. if you… if you like that. by the way, how did i not know this? is this new?”
ryland shakes his head though colt hasn’t said a word in response. “am i special?”
…what?
oh, god. what the hell did he just say?
ryland promptly buries his face in his hands and slides down until he’s flat on his back. his cheeks feel hot enough to fry eggs on.
into his hands, ryland squeaks out, “i’m going to sleep. ignore me. don’t answer that.”
ryland then flips onto his side, away from his brother. he curls into a ball of mortification.
it’s silent for a few long, horrible seconds. then colt resumes movement. ryland hears the drag of a waistband, the shuffle of feet. no whisper of fabric.
so, colt’s naked now. great.
footsteps, and then the bed dips at ryland’s back. he turns his face, still in his hands, further into the mattress. he doesn’t want to scoot up to the pillow. he’ll sleep like this now. hiding in the safety of his hands with his back complaining the curved position.
it’s silent but for ryland’s uneven breathing and the rasp of the sheets as colt settles down, an occasional creak here and there.
eventually, colt sighs. ryland does NOT think about how it sounds and he never will. no matter how soft and low and pleased. nope. never.
“it’s new-ish,” comes colt’s voice, close enough that ryland startles despite the quiet rumble of it. “but you are special.”
ah.
“great,” ryland squeezes out, muffled. his heart feels like it’s trying to burst from his ribcage, hummingbird-fast.
so you get naked just for me?
…what the hell, brain.
colt shifts. ryland doesn’t know if he flipped onto his back, onto his side, or sat up, or what. and he won’t check.
“ry,” colt murmurs. “would you look at me?” he pokes between ryland’s shoulder blades, and there’s no way he doesn’t notice the resulting full-body twitch. “turn around.”
“i’m,” ryland says, “not doing that.”
“suit yourself,” colt says, in a tone that suggests he is not actually letting ryland suit himself.
sure enough, ryland is then promptly rolled over by force. then, as if that wasn’t rude enough, colt gently pries his hands from his face.
ryland sulks up at his brother, cheeks no doubt ruddy red.
colt’s on his right side, covered from the waist down by the sheets, blanket also pulled up to his torso. so, that’s good.
but his very bare very prominent chest is not. there’s a thin scar right over his left topmost rib. silvery; old. ryland’s never seen it this close up before.
colt cups the back of ryland’s hands and starts lightly massaging his palms, thumbs rubbing sweeping circles with just enough pressure to make the tension in ryland’s spine melt out of him.
dang it. man, that’s nice.
ryland relaxes with a quiet exhale, the heat in his cheeks spreading to the rest of him. he arranges himself properly, mirroring colt’s position.
colt’s eyes are soft and amused when ryland meets them. “does this make you that uncomfortable? you’ve seen me naked.”
ryland’s calf finds colt’s, fabric to skin. colt catches him, tangles their legs with a small smile. it’s ridiculously hard to stay focused on his face.
“it’s not that i’m… uncomfortable,” ryland says. “it’s different.”
“why?” colt asks. “‘cause i’m so close?”
he releases one of ryland’s hands to fall to the bed, bringing the other one up to his lips to kiss the life line creasing ryland’s palm.
agh. aaaagh.
“you’re, ah,” ryland stutters, “it’s— intimate. and you’re… very distracting. not in a- a bad way. i like it. -oh my god.”
ryland should just stop talking for the rest of time.
colt chuckles softly. already, his eyes have a sleepy tilt to them, and it’s extremely charming.
“distracting, huh?” he drawls. “i’m flattered, ry. you’re not easy to ignore yourself.”
good lord. what a cornball.
“…that’s such a weird way to phrase a compliment.”
“mm.”
colt threads their fingers together and sinks sideways onto the pillow. ryland follows, and then they’re facing each other in the dimming light.
colt’s very handsome, all swathes of tan skin and soft lines.
“if it actually bothers you,” colt murmurs, a quiet seriousness in his voice, “i’ll get dressed. promise.” his eyes dart between ryland’s, soft and sincere.
wordlessly, ryland scoots closer, until he can slot their bodies properly together. colt looks quietly delighted, smiling slow and syrupy.
he’s absolutely radiating heat. ryland’s other hand finds colt’s chest, pressing into his heartbeat. it speeds up beneath his touch.
“no,” ryland whispers, “this is nice.”
colt’s eyes crease. “good.”
and then, after all that drama, ryland still ends up falling asleep pressed close to his brother.
it is nice.
even if ryland forgets upon waking up and finds himself being spooned by a very naked colt and almost flings himself off the bed.
it’s nice.
I have fallen to this au propaganda 😔🙏
I love you ao3, I love you dead dove, I love you dark and fucked up ships, I love you weird and unusual kinks, I love you porn without plot, I love you unapologetic violent fiction, I love you horror, I love you splatterpunk, I love you unreliable narrators, I love you morally gray characters, I love you characters with no morals whatsoever, I love you authors that write whatever you want, I love you authors who don't stop others from writing whatever they want, I love you readers with critical thinking skills, I love you media literacy
Just read your Coltland fic and oh my godddddd!! Colt “Yearnatron 5000” Seavers! I love that he instantly was like “Marry me”, which good sir you are basically married to your twin already.
I’m so happy there are some that ship the twins!
ehe thank you!! he isn’t called colt “loverboy” seavers for no reason 😌😌
and actually as i’ve found out, there are quite a few people who ship the twins, we’re just a much quieter minority than the people who don’t \o/ aka we’re the based ones
ty for reading my fic i’m glad you enjoyed it 🫶🏻🫶🏻
about the au of Ry on the hail mary ship imagine Ryland instantly going to Rocky with any new memories just ecstatic about remembering a bit more about someone he loves like
<>
Rocky: Grace have mate question?
Ryland: Nope- actually yes I think i did! He was always there for me! I hope he's alright...
<>
Ryland: Rocky! I remembered more about my mate! His name is Colt and I think we met in college!
Rocky: Yay for Grace!
<> (flying to Erid)
Ryland: heyyyy.... it turns out Colt is my twin brother...
Rocky: oh... so Colt not Grace mate question?
Ryland: ......I wanted him to be....
<> (on Erid)
Rocky: Rock made time travel so Grace can get back to Grace's Colt! Rocky fix Grace missing maybe-future-mate statement!
Ryland: Oh my gosh Rocky! ...but what if we end up different ages... I miss being the same age as him...
Rocky: Rocky is not an idiot! Now hurry hurry hurry up and pack. Rocky and Adrian are ready to go!
<>
roll credits! Hehe hopefully you get the vibe (and I may be trying to write a fic wish me luck lol)
-🦋anon
YESSSS omg, i didn’t include rocky in my initial post for the maximum angst but of course ryland still meets him like normal
and for a while he’s happy and distracted enough to forget about it for a bit in favor of figuring out communication and everything else that comes with now having TWO people working to save their worlds…
but then rocky asks The Question. and ryland responds, “i… i’m not sure, actually. it’s complicated.”
thus leads to him telling rocky everything, updating him about any new memories that return. he even shows rocky the photo, and from then on rocky refers to colt as “grace mate colt” to ryland’s delight
and yes ofc they all live happily ever after thanks to eridian technology 😌🫶🏻 also good luck with the fic!!! very happy to hear you’re writing something :D i’d love to read it when it’s done!
ryland curled up sobbing on the cold floor of the hail mary dormitory because he found a picture in his belongings of a man he doesn’t remember, but one his body clearly does, because despite not even knowing the man’s name, ryland is grieving him like he loved him with his entire soul.
and then ryland slowly starts getting his memories back.
first, a name: “colt.”
he whispers it out loud, testing the way his mouth forms it, and shivers at the devastation in his own voice. the aching love.
at this point, he’s assuming colt was his lover, because the next few recovered memories are domestic, happy scenes that fill him with warmth; late breakfasts and cuddling on couches and dancing in the rain and endless laughter.
then they get younger.
first, ryland hypothesizes that they met in college, then that they were highschool sweethearts, then that they were actually childhood friends turned eventual lovers.
memory by memory, flashback by flashback, ryland falls in love with “colt” all over again. his smug smirks, his wheezing laugh, the way he looks when he first wakes up, all rumpled and soft.
and it’s agonizing, already knowing how it ended. knowing that it doesn’t matter if ryland gets back all of his memories. it doesn’t matter how much ryland believes in the love that was between them.
in the end, they can’t be happy. because ryland’s going to die alone in space, and colt is going to die back on earth.
and then he remembers.
finally, finally: they’re twins. twin brothers.
and they’re not childhood friends, or highschool sweethearts, they’ve been together their entire lives. maybe not in a romantic sense, but then again, something in ryland’s heart is whispering otherwise.
that he’s loved colt for as long as he’s been alive.
ryland’s been sleeping with the photo—the photo of colton grace, his twin brother who he can’t believe he forgot—and he rubs his thumb down colt’s grinning face now, hollowed out from grief and love.
and he realizes then, tears dripping silently down his cheeks, ah. i did love him with my entire soul.
no, not past tense.
ryland does love his twin brother colt with his entire soul. and he thinks he’s going to be grieving him until his last breath.
did they get to say goodbye? did colt get to hold him tight one last time? did they say “i love you” enough? is colt grieving him too?
ryland doesn’t know. and he’s helpless but to wait to find out. the answers might help, but they might not.
they might make it worse. because ryland is now homesick for a place he can never return to, and a person he can never see again.
ryland curls up and presses the photo to his heart.
wherever you are, colt, he thinks, i love you. i miss you. i hope you’re okay.
he sniffles.
i’m going to figure this out. for you.
i promise.
some blinkies i made while bored today
sleep deprived ryland still in Teacher Mode instinctually saying “language” when colt cusses while they’re hanging out and colt’s just like:
colt: “huh. wow. haven’t heard that since middle school.”
ryland: “what?”
colt: “‘language,’ ry? really?”
ryland: *embarrassed groan* “it slipped out…”
colt, laughing: “uh huh, i’m sure.”
The thought of Ryland visiting Colt on set because the movie was in his area and everyone on set is DOWN BAD for him, and Colt is so confused because it's literally just him?? They are identical twins. Why does everyone find Ryland more attractive? And it's not in a jealous way he's just so confused (and a little annoyed and protective because hey!! That his younger brother! It doesn't matter if it's by a minute. Colt is still older, and he doesn't appreciate all of his coworkers plotting on Ryland!) . Ryland is oblivious to all of this, of course, and thinks everyone is just really nice.
The straw that breaks the camels back for Colt is when Tom Ryder starts flirting with Ryland. He WILL NOT stand for that and definitely has one of those "Stay away from my brother you dipshit" conversations with Tom. (Tom obviously does not listen and ends up flirting with Ryland even more)
I'm a twin
I can see Ryland trying to stuff his feelings down during college (so far down he can't see Colt likes him back)
And Colt keeps doing romantic things with Ryland like getting his favorite food, random hugs from behind, or planing elaborate days out *cough* dates *cough* etc
but Ry tries to avoid or ignore the more romantic affection because he can't break his own heart by reading into the things his brother does for him
This all comes to ahead at a party were when Colt wasn't paying attention Ryland gets wasted (or roofied if you want it more angsty) so (mostly sober) Colt has to drag Ryland home but Ry decides that he want his brother to fuck him sillier so he tries to kiss and grope Colt
But because Colt is a gentleman who would never use his Ry he stops the advances because he can't properly consent just Ry whining and begging while being tucked into bed (and of course Colt is thinking of all the things he'll do to Ry once he's sober)
Come morning Ryland freaks the fuck out because he hit on Colt got rejected and kept pushing so he says he can't remember anything of the night before so he doesn't have to see his brother hate or be disgusted by him
And Colt is just turning his flirting and romantic gestures up 1000%
-🦋anon
anon you’ve basically got entire fanfics happening in your brain PLEASE WRITE THEM OMG
yes to all of this. i love it. LOVE ryland being so busy trying to push down all his feelings that he’s completely blind to colt’s… the angst of ryland thinking he hit on colt and got rejected so he lies and covers it up…
except the result is just colt trying even harder to get ryland to realize HELLO i have loved you and been flirting with you this whole time PLEASE GIVE ME A CHANCE PLEAAASE
these boys need to sit each other down and plainly state their feelings or nothing will ever happen oh my lord
do they have a classic “blurting out their feelings because they can’t take containing them anymore” moment? 🤔 that sounds very characteristic
I keep imagining a coltlandgentry au/fic and your the only account I've seen that wouldn't judge sooooo :p
I can see Court noticing the twins attachment to each other (especially Colt that man's down BAD) and trying to stop it so that they don't get in trouble (even if he wishes he could join them)
Because Court is the oldest he knows its wrong and if they are to obvious or they get caught they might be separated forever and he sees how that would break them (and himself)
basically Court having to leave them and watch them get their happily ever after but desperately wishing he could join them
And since I'm a sucker for a happy ending Court (mostly) escapes the CIA and gets to be a house husband to his baby brothers (or 5 times Court stopped his brothers and 1 time he joined them)
-🦋anon (cuz im probably gonna send more asks)
ohhh my goddd i’m so glad you came to me with this, i recently watched the gray man for the first time and of course went Holy Shit. they were right about coltlandgentry. WOW
i love this concept… court seeing the twins’ above-familial attachment and love for each other and wishing he could be a part of it too but knowing he can’t, that THEY can’t, and that nipping it in the bud is more merciful than them being separated later on 🥹
i love court post-sentence in the CIA getting peeks of his brothers’ lives and knowing he did the right thing but still something in him is heartbroken at not being able to join them. heartbroken that they get the happy ending they deserve and he’s not a part of it but he’s so relieved that at least they get to be happy. it’s what he fights for.
GAHHH not court pining from afar having to watch the twins live out a happily in love life 😭 and yes absolutely, happy ending necessary, they reunite and court gets to spend his time doing what he loves and cherishes most which is being with his baby brothers 🫶🏻🫶🏻
he seems like the kind of house husband who would spoil them while insisting they deserve it but the twins are like “PLEASE let us do something for you for once” and court’s just all peaceful giving a soft smile saying “i have everything i want.” FALLS TO MY KNEES
colt cups ryland’s cheek. “can i kiss you?”
it still makes ryland’s stomach squirm, that question in colt’s voice.
“yeah,” he whispers.
colt leans in, and he’s soft with it. he always is.
“hmm… mm,” he hums. against ryland’s lips, he murmurs, “you’re warm.”
ryland clears his throat gently when they separate, annoyed that his brother still has the ability to make him shy with the simplest things even after all this time.
“you… don’t have to ask every time, you know,” ryland tells him.
colt just rubs his thumb back and forth. “i do, and i’m going to,” he says, low and charmingly serious. “i like hearing you say yes.”
ryland presses his palm to colt’s mouth when he goes to lean in again, feeling heat crawl up his neck and into his ears. god.
colt blinks at the rejection, a frown flashing across his eyes. and then he’s simply tilting his head to kiss ryland’s palm instead, because he’s ridiculous like that.
he maintains eye contact, looking up through his lashes all soft and content like kissing ryland is a genuine privilege, no matter where or how.
ryland tries not to make the way he absolutely melts show on his face. colt smiles against his hand, so he obviously fails.
“you didn’t ask that time,” ryland rasps, his exhale shaky.
colt pulls ryland’s hand away by the wrist. “you’re right. i’ll make it up to you.” he leans in again, bumping their noses together. “can i kiss you?”
ryland lets his eyes fall shut, helpless. “yes.”
colt kisses him a little deeper this time.
“thank you.”
protective AND possessive