I write when I can't speak

This is a writing blog. About.

[towritealways]

Best bad thing

"You're the best thing that ever happened to me. Not because you treaty me well, Or were good to me. But because you weren't." "Let's move this along, we'll even have our own song." "I fell for that. Trick or not. I fell for you. We moved forward, acquaintances - friends - couple, in a matter of seconds. You instigated this, and I happily followed…" "Let's not slow down, but bow down." "You gave me happiness and took it away again in a matter of minutes. I trusted you, loved you. So early, so soon. But still you're the best thing that happened to me. I think I've learned to be a little guarded, To think and listen, to wait. Thank you, for being my best bad thing."

[towritealways]

Can we kiss, just kiss Touch your lips To mine.

[towritealways]

Stupid things I want to say stupid things to you right now, so I have to leave. They are stupid because I want to tell you that I love you. 

But I love you inconsistently. Like the seasons, the weather, my feelings for you change. 

I loved you the day before yesterday. And it got me nowhere, because it gets me nowhere to love you. 

So I hated you yesterday. Because you annoy me. You make me think about love, and how I'm stupid for loving you, when it gets me nowhere. 

But I love you today, in this moment because you are beautiful and you are you. 

So I'll hate you tomorrow and want to put you behind me and just forget about you. 

I'm inconsistent, but so are you.

[towritealways]

soft flannel pajama bottoms and an oversized t-shirt is how i spend my sundays lounging around, doing nothing reflecting on life and the luxuriousness of being  with my hair in a messy bun and no plans i can on this sunday enjoy living, the softness tenderness of life the fragility of being and the comfort of knowing i'm not going anywhere except under my covers

[towritealways]

Magic show You can't help but feel stupid and fooled Like a contestant in a magic show But instead of cards and cuffs The trick was played out With your head and heart as props The magician uses words to confuse While he fools you He manipulates the props While you're not looking But unlike a magic show This trick doesn't end with laughter  And the feeling of being stupid and fooled  It does not go away There's no explanation in the end The magician leaves

[towritealways]

You relapsed You thought about — Had sworn you’d never Do it again Both to yourself And those Who love you

You think about — And you… Because it’s No good for you You should just leave it Like you’d sworn You’d do

— draws you in Traps you Confuses you It makes you… You know this And each time You break your promise It gets harder, Harder to stop! Stop thinking about- And get free from —

You swear thirteen times That you’ll stop Stop thinking about — You swear Until it’s pointless To swear again

[towritealways]

A box

With a single glance You put me in a box I was left unable  To get out of the box Or change the contents  Of it In this box You gave me wit And beauty Made me fairly intelligent But not too clever Not smarter than you I was passive Not aggressive A good listener Always there for you But never for me You made me want you Fancied me in love with you And a good cook I was in this box What you wanted me to be But I wasn't me You forgot to get to know me Instead you assumed  You knew me You put me in a box With qualities  You wanted me to have What you didn't realize  Was that I had already built my own box With everything in it I wanted to be

[towritealways]

Fine

They ask you if you're fine to which you answer yes, I'm fine but they know  it's a lie and so do you. The truth is you tell yourself that you're fine everyday so that one day it wont be a lie, and you'll be fine

[towritealways]

Being young The best years  Of your life School, education Friends  And parties But also RESPONSIBILITIES They say: "Have FUN! These are supposed To be The BEST years of your life!" But also: "Be responsible! And sensible! Take care Of yourself And your future! You need plans!" You are left confused Some party And others  They make plans While the rest get lost In an ocean  Of young people  Trying to survive  The best years  Of their lives

[towritealways]

They ask

First they ask you "Who are you?" You want to Answer: "Me." Or give them your name But maybe  You're more than your name  And a single syllable answer Second you're asked  "What are you?" You want to answer "Human." But that is obvious So it can't be  What they're asking  Third, "What do you want to do with your life?" You want to answer "Live." But that too is obvious They want answers To complicated questions They are not interested  In the simplicity  Of human existence They want you To know everything About you, your life And they want you to tell them Everything But you just want to be you And figure out who And what You are As life goes on So that you may When you're old and grey Answer: "I'm me. A human who has lived."

[towritealways]

tiny flower seeds

we're all just tiny flower seeds being carried by the wind to foreign places

we look for the place  to plant ourselves and grow roots for a place where we can grow prosper and live long

a place that will nurture us and our talents, abilities so that we may grow from tiny flower seeds to great colourful flowers standing tall all the way through life

[towritealways]

Just got three new followers, which seldom never happens all at once, thank you :) 

[towritealways]

Scars not from cuts and bruises, but from words, litter your -  mind and heart -  not your body. Words will not fade like pain, will not heal from your memory like bruises and cuts from your skin,  but stay with you and hurt for years.  Why do they not understand, that words can hurt, bruise, cut, just as deep as physical violence? You understand  the power of words, you can count the scars, that still hurt, on your mind and heart, because they will not disappear completely, until you do.

A/N: I've thankfully never been subjected to bullying past the point of what's "normal", but some have and I'm sorry that we live in a world where people are downright mean to each other for no reason.

[towritealways]

Love is not always easy

Her heart is in her throat She's choking Coughing up words To make it better Spitting them out In random order Anxious, frustrated Trying to explain What she feels But words  Don't come easily  To her Especially when She needs them to As she's struggling to say 'I love you'

[towritealways]

Finals

The feeling of impending doom wont leave me and I guess  that has to do with finals because either I've done  good, and can leave this place for good or I've screwed up and all my plans will have to wait but I CAN'T WAIT I can't wait for life and I can't wait to move on and get out  of here

[towritealways]

Flyvefærdigt

Jeg er et flyvefærdigt ungt menneske, klar til at stå på egne ben. Og dog  er jeg ikke  helt klar til at tage springet og teste mine vinger.

Jeg er flyvefærdig i den forstand,  at jeg kan flyve, hvis jeg tør prøve, så spørgsmålet er bare tør jeg?  

[towritealways]

The time we didn't get

I can't really figure out if there is a god or not. Most of the time I'm convinced there isn't.  And the times when I am convinced there's something, it usually when life screws with me.  Because honestly, how can all these bad things just happen? It has got to be some petty god, messing with my life. Right now is the best example of this.  I'm praying for there to be a god.  An afterlife. For you. Because only when bad things happen,  do I get religious.  I don't like religion much.  But that is because of the followers. That isn't why I initially 'left' my religious beliefs, but it's certainly why I never went back.  Most of them don't seem to practice, what they're preaching, preached.  I'm openly curious about death.  I'm not scared of death, just dying.  There are so many terrible ways of going, but the destination does not seem terrible at all to me.  But you were scared, wary of what came after, because you were going already, and it wasn't too bad.  So here I am.  Praying for a god,  I'm not convinced exist, that I'm not sure I want to exist. But I am praying for you, for an afterlife, where I can be with you. An afterlife where we will have the time, we didn't get here.