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@toxic-material-blog
I want Cosmo magazine to stop making articles about women who date men who already have a wife or girlfriend and try to get you to feel like they’re the victim. I do not feel bad for homewreckers, these women chose to be with unavailable men. they are just as evil and the cheating man.
No, friendship is NOT about “supporting your friends even when you know they’re wrong.”
That’s not friendship. That’s being an enabler. That’s being an accomplice.
Friendship is loving someone enough to tell them to stop being a goddamn idiot before they ruin their lives.
If your partner criticizes or puts you down for being badly affected by his mistreatment, that’s abuse. Similarly, it’s abuse when he uses the effects of his cruelty as an excuse, like a client I had who drove his partner away with his verbal assaults and then told her that her emotional distance was causing his abuse, thus reversing cause and effect. He is kicking you when you’re already down, and he knows it.
Lundy Bancroft, “Why Does He Do That?”
the example given really hit home
(via spitefulbitch)
The only people who get upset when you set boundaries are the ones who benefited from you having none.
She forgave you. She missed you. She didn’t want you back.
am-and-b (via wnq-writers)
Here’s a list of words for when you get frustrated because you can’t think of a stronger word than “evil” to describe a malignant sociopath’s misdeeds toward you. unconscionable heinous atrocious unscrupulous villainous sordid debased odious abhorrent vile nauseating revolting execrable egregious unspeakable horrid detestable repulsive diabolical reprehensible sinister
#TuesdayTruth
8 Ways To Spot A Narcissist
Narcissists are not evil, they are a necessary part of our journeys because they allow us to reflect on why we’ve attracted them - these are the parts of ourselves that need healing.
1. Perfectionist - they need things to be done “right”. Narcissists have a certain way of doing things and if something doesn’t match their standard they will become very distressed. This comes from a deep-seated insecurity that nothing they do will ever be “good enough”.
2. Ignorance - they don’t want to work on themselves. The narcissist can never admit that they are wrong or that they may have some parts of themselves that need healing. This is why they suffer from a lack of self-love and must manipulate others into giving love to them, but it’s never enough because they don’t love themselves. They’re on an endless search for love externally, while everything they need is within them.
3. Competition - they have to be “better” than everyone else. Narcissists love to feel superior to others because they derive a sense of satisfaction from being “better” than everyone else. They will show off what they have or what they’ve achieved with the intention of hurting feelings but refuse to speak about anyone doing “better” than them.
4. Materialistic - they try to hoard material wealth. They are attracted to symbols of social status such as money, shiny objects & expensive clothing because these things attract attention from others. They mistake this attention for love and continue to hoard as many material possessions as possible to continue to gain external validation from others.
5. Egomaniac - they live through the ego. Narcissists live through the ego as a way of protecting themselves, they often create false identities for themselves as a defence mechanism. When they present this false identity to others and get rejected their ego remain intact because they never exposed their true self.
6. Popular - they hate to be by themselves. We will often find narcissists surrounded by others, usually other narcissists, because spending time with themselves invokes reflection time - which would make them very uncomfortable. Spending time with others distracts them from looking within and they often create drama within their own friendship groups as a form of entertainment and distraction.
7. Overcompensate - they make up for their wrongdoings in other ways. Being particularly obsessive about cleaning their living space is a way many narcissists overcompensate for the way they live their lives. They believe that physical cleaning is a substitute for the emotional healing they need - which is why seeing dirt can be a trigger for expressions of anger or sadness.
8. Reputation - they thrive off of how others perceive them. Narcissists love to have their egos stroked, such as when someone speaks highly of them - this is why we see them often trying gain a reputation for something that others envy them for. For example many young men aim to have sex with as many women as possible for the admiration and praise they will receive from their peers.
Narcissism is a symptom of a lack of self-love.
Peace & positive vibes.
Apologies?
An apology from a narcissist is about as much of a waste of oxygen as it gets. First, an apology is supposed to mean you’ve learned from your mistake and won’t repeat it…. Secondly, an apology is supposed to mean you accept responsibility for your behavior and, that would indicate accountability… Third, an apology is supposed to be genuine and for no other reason than you mean it… Finally, if you’re sorry, you feel empathy. You can put yourself in the other person’s shoes and at least imagine how your actions made them feel.
Here’s what an apology from a narcissist means: 1) I need some supply and you being upset is disrupting what I need. or 2) I want something from you so I’m going to get back on your good graces so you’ll give it to me. or 3) This is going to make me look good to whomever I’m impressing at the moment.
It is NEVER genuine, It is NEVER for the right reasons, It is NEVER sincere. Don’t fool yourself. Whatever they did to hurt you, they WILL do again. Why? because they know you’re a sucker and they can.
The stalker tried to offer an apology by saying I had made mistakes that he’s sure I regret but I was forgiven. Really?! For what?! For finally saving myself?! For finally moving on with my life?! Unbelievable…. Typical….but still unbelievable…
~ house-of-mirrors.blogspot.co.uk (via Narcissistic Behavior)
"Hold on a sec, let me tie your shoe." "Okay" *pulls out knife* "but I liked the attention it got me." *stabs* -end scene-
Once I told my narc abuser that I hate confrontation and I often try to work my way around it, the gaslighting and emotional mind-f***ery became noticeably worse.