tale as old as time

t. potts The name is T-Potts. Don't ask what my first name is, it doesn't matter as much as my chosen stage name does. I'm a performer first and a human being second, and if a magical spell came over the castle and turned us into magical objects, I'd be a singing tea kettle OR a Tony award. Choir and drama kinda guy. Hoping to be the next Lin Manuel Miranda and write/star in a Hamilton-esque musical about King Adam and Queen Belle's life called Beastly, and in the meantime, I entertain for free as the lead in our school's plays! This semester, catch me and the lovely Avalon starring in Oklahoma!

[tpotts]

INSTAROYAL: @tpotts UPLOADED A PIC!

Busy being disarmingly and adorably beautiful 😎

↳ VIEW ALL COMMENTS

[year9000ovvvhellfireandratbites]

pppeople are always calling me “cute’ and its like yea im cute but do u wanna do me

[tpotts]

TEXT 😱 TLARK

Lark: SO INSANE! WHAT KIND OF BEST FRIENDS ARE THEY EVEN?

Lark: THAT SO COUNTS AS ABSOLUTELY FUCKING! OR AT LEAST V INTENSE DRY HUMPING MAYBE? IDK!! I WAS NAKED IN A DIFFERENT ROOM! IF THEY WERE FUCKING WHILE WE WERE HOME TOO THIS WHOLE TIME WE’VE BOTH PROBABLY BEEN NAKED WHILE THEY’VE BEEN FUCKING???

Lark: NO! BECAUSE LAST TIME I MENTIONED IT CHAUNCY ACTED LIKE I WAS BEING A BAD FRIEND FOR THINKING OF BETH IN THAT WAY! MEANWHILE HE JUST WANTED HER TO HIMSELF APPARENTLY!!!! ALSO THEY ALREADY KNOW WE’D BOTH BE DOWN! LOL NO! IF IT WAS GONNA HAPPEN IT WOULD’VE HAPPENED FOREVER AGO! BUT OMG!! REMEMBER THAT TIME HE AND I WENT TO THAT DANCE TOGETHER? I NEVER TOLD YOU BUT HE TOLD ME THAT US GOING TOGETHER WAS AN ACCIDENT AND HE HAD WANTED TO GO WITH BETH INSTEAD!! WOAH WHAT IF THEY’RE LIKE IN LOVE AND THATS WHAT YOU SAW? LOVE SEX??? LOL YESSSS!! HOW SHOULD WE STAGE IT THEN? I’VE NEVER STAGED ANYTHING BEFORE BUT I’M GREAT AT FUCKING!

TPotts: APPARENTLY *VERY* GOOD BEST FRIENDS TO EACH OTHER! BUT NOT TO US! WE SHOULD GO ON BEST FRIEND STRIKE!

TPotts: JESUS MOTHERFUCKING CHRISTMAS, I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY SAW ME AND I TALKED TO THEM AND THEY KEPT FUCKING. LIKE, I LITERALLY *CAN'T* BELIEVE IT, IT BOGGLES MY WHOLE BRAIN. ALL OF THIS BOGGLES MY BRAIN.

TPotts: HE'S SHAMED ME FOR THAT TOO OMG WTF! BUT WOAH WOAH WOAH, WHAT?! THAT ONE TIME HE ASKED YOU OUT, HE MEANT TO ASK OUT BETH?! THAT'S CRAZY! WHY DIDN'T HE JUST SAY SO? I DON'T KNOW, I'M NOT A LOVE EXPERT OR A SEX EXPERT BUT SINCE I CONFUSED IT FOR LIKE ROUGH WRESTLING I WOULDN'T GUESS IT WAS A LOVE SEX THING? BESIDES, THAT WAS LIKE WAY BACK WHEN WE WERE IN MIDDLE SCHOOL! AND BESIDES BESIDES, IT'S NOT LIKE BETH WAS EVER INTO HIM, RIGHT? WELL, WE HAVE TO PICK A TIME AND PLACE WHERE THEY CAN EASILY WALK IN ON US. SOME PLACE IN OUR APARTMENT IS PROBABLY A SAFE BET, MAYBE EVEN IN BETH'S ROOM SO THEY CAN REALLY CONFRONT THEIR SINS. GIVE ME A MINUTE TO WORK OUT THE BLOCKING! I CAN WORK OUT THE STAGING, YOU CAN WORK OUT THE FUCKING!

[tpotts]

TEXT 😱 TLARK

Lark: THAT IS WHAT THEY’RE DOING WHEN THEY’RE LOCKED IN EACH OTHER’S ROOMS ALL THE TIME!!! THEY’RE FUCKING!!! A LOT!!!

Lark: MOVING KIND OF FUNNY? LIKE THEY WERE ACTIVELY FUCKING IN FRONT OF YOU!?? THAT’S SO FUCKING KINKY OMG??? I CAN’T BELIEVE I WAS TAKING A SHOWER WHEN BETH AND CHAUNCY WERE FUCKING DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF YOU!!! WHY DOES THE UNIVERSE HATE ME?!

Lark: I GUESS! I CANNOT BELIEVE IT! IT BOTH HELPS AND HURT ME SINCE WE DON’T GET TO DO IT BECAUSE THEY’RE FUCKING SNEAKY BITCHES!!! SHE WAS PRETTY CHILL ON OUR TRUP BECAUSE SHE WAS GETTING DICKED DOWN THE ENTIRE TIME! THAT’S SO INSANE I CSNNOT EVEN BELIEVE! WOW!!! YEAH, OFC! IT’S A CRAZY SITUATION AND THE ONLY WAY TO GET TO THE BOTTOM OF IT IS TO DO SOMETHING EVEN CRAZIER!!!

TPotts: RIGHT IN FRONT OF OUR NOSES! THAT'S INSANE!

TPotts: I DON'T KNOW! THEY WERE LIKE WIGGLING KIND OF WHILE HOLDING EACH OTHER LIKE THEY WERE TAKING PROM PHOTOS? DOES THAT COUNT AS ACTIVELY FUCKING?! THE UNIVERSE DOESN'T HATE YOU, YOU GOT TO BE NAKED WHILE BETH AND CHAUNCY FUCKED, THAT GETS YOU CLOSER TO THE THREEWAY THAN IT DOES ME!

TPotts: MAYBE THEY DO WANT TO INVOLVE US IN IT BUT THEY'RE TOO SCARED TO ASK BECAUSE WE'RE SO HOT AND COOL AND INTIMIDATING? I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE WAS GETTING DICKED DOWN BY CHAUNCY THOUGH! I ALWAYS THOUGHT IF ANY OF THE TWO OF US IN THIS GROUP FUCKED, IT'D BE YOU AND CHAUNCY! YOU THINK? OKAY! YOU KNOW I LOVE A GOOD SCENE AND THIS IS FOR A VALIANT CAUSE! NOW WE JUST HAVE TO STAGE IT SO THAT IT ALL LINES UP PERFECTLY AND FIXES EVERYTHING!

[tpotts]

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Lark: BUT I NEVER DID :(

Lark: YOU SAW IT TWICE???? YOU SAW BETH AND CHAUNCY FUCK TWICE? IT IS A POSITION!! KINDA!!! WHEN WAS THIS!?!?!?!

Lark: YOU, ME AND CHAUNCY, YEAH SO EASY BUT BETH GIVES NUN VIBES. WHENEVER I PICTURED THE ULTIMATE FOURSOME, I JUST SEE HER SITTING THERE GETTING ORAL OR TOUCHING HERSELF AT DIFFERENT POINTS, NOT LIKE FULL COMMITMENT TO THE FUCKING, YOU KNOW? BUT SHE WASN’T EVEN THAT UPSET REALLY ON OUR TRIP!!!! SHE’S BEEN WAY MORE BROKEN HEARTED BEFORE ONLY CHAUNCY’S DICK WASN’T IN THE EQUATION POSSIBLY!! OOOOOOH SO VALID! MAYBE WE SHOULD DO IT! THEN WE COULD OUT THEM FOR BEING THE HYPOCRITES THEY SO CLEARLY ARE!!!

TPotts: I'M SURE YOU CAN STILL CATCH THEM DOING IT! IF THAT'S WHAT THEY'RE DOING WHEN THEY'RE LOCKED IN EACH OTHER'S ROOMS ALL DAY, YOU KNOW WHERE THEY DO IT!

TPotts: I MIGHT HAVE?! BUT I DON'T KNOW! I THOUGHT THEY WERE JUST LIKE HOLDING EACH OTHER WEIRD AND MOVING KIND OF FUNNY AS LIKE SOME KIND OF JOKE BUT NOW THAT I KNOW THEY MIGHT BE FUCKING I REALIZE... THAT'S WHAT IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN? IT WAS WHEN WE WERE AT THE AIRBNB! YOU WERE TAKING A SHOWER AND THEY HAD BEEN IN THE KITCHEN FOR A WHILE AND I POPPED IN THERE TO GET A SNACK FOR MYSELF!

TPotts: MAYBE LIKE THOSE SEXY NUN COSTUMES THAT COME OUT ON HALLOWEEN! DOES IT HELP OR HURT YOU TO KNOW SHE COULD AND MAYBE WOULD COMMIT TO THE FUCKING?! I GUESS SHE DID SEEM PRETTY CHILL ON OUR TRIP COMPARED TO HOW I THOUGHT SHE WOULD BE BUT MAYBE SHE SMOKED WEED BEHIND OUR BACK OR SOMETHING, I DON'T KNOW. I KNOW IT'S WHAT MAKES MOST SENSE BUT IT'S HARD TO PICTURE THEM FUCKING DURING THE TRIP! WAIT, REALLY?! YOU'D BE DOWN?!

[tpotts]

TEXT 😱 TLARK

Lark: IT COULD BE BOTH!!! THEY’RE SUCH SNEAKY HATERS OMG!

Lark: I CAN’T PICTURE BETH FUCKING AT ALL BUT WE KNOW SHE DOES! SO DID I BUT SHE DIDN’T EVEN GET DUMPED A MONTH AGO TO ALREADY BE FUCKING CHAUNCY OF ALL PEOPLE? OH! WOW! THAT’S DEFINITELY AN IDEA, I GUESS? DO YOU THINK THAT WOULD WORK???

TPotts: APPARENTLY NOT THAT SNEAKY SINCE I SAW IT!

TPotts: OH MY FUCKING FUCK, ACTUALLY, NOW THAT I'M REALLY THINKING ABOUT IT, I THINK I MIGHT HAVE SEEN IT TWICE! CAN YOU FUCK STANDING UP WITH THE GIRL'S BACK TO THE DUDE'S CHEST?! IS THAT A POSITION?!

TPotts: I HAVE ALWAYS EASILY BEEN ABLE TO PICTURE ANY OF US FUCKING SO I'M NO HELP THERE. MAYBE SHE'S ONLY FUCKING CHAUNCY BECAUSE ORVILLE BROKE HER HEART SO MUCH THOUGH? I DON'T KNOW! BETH AND CHAUNCY LOVE TO LECTURE, THERE'S NO WAY THEY COULD CATCH US HAVING SEX AND NOT GO OFF ON US ABOUT WHY WE SHOULDN'T, AND THEN THAT'D BE WAY TOO EASY TO TURN THE TABLES ON THEM, RIGHT?

[tpotts]

TEXT 😱 TLARK

Lark: YES! BUT ALSO NO? GETTING BESTIE FUCKED HARD IS GOALS!! AND THEY SHIT ON ME FOR SUGGESTING IT!

Lark: CONFRONT THEM MAYBE!? SEE WHAT THEY’RE UP TO? LIKE FIND OUT IF THEY’RE LIKE DATING NOW OR JUST FUCKING TO FUCK? YEAH BUT LIKE WHAT IF THEY WERE HAVING AN AFFAIR OR SOMETHING AND BETH TRIED TO COVER IT UP BY TELLING ORVILLE THAT SHE LOVES HIM AND THATS WHY HE JETTED IN FRONT OF EVERYONE???

TPotts: YOU'RE RIGHT, THEY DO, THEY SHIT ON YOU FOR SUGGESTING IT EVERY TIME! WHAT HYPOCRITES! OR WAS IT JUST A COVER UP?! 😱😱😱

TPotts: THAT WOULD BE SO FUCKED UP BUT I CAN'T PICTURE BETH HAVING AN AFFAIR! PLUS I THOUGHT SHE REALLY LIKED ORVILLE? BUT WHAT DO I KNOW?! APPARANTLY I'M A MORON! WE *COULD* CONFRONT THEM AND FIND OUT WHAT'S REALLY GOING ON BUT YOU KNOW WHAT'S BETTER THAN TELLING? SHOWING! WHAT IF WE HAD *THEM* CATCH *US* FUCKING AND FORCED THEM TO CONFRONT THEIR SHIT THAT WAY?!

[tpotts]

TEXT 😱 TLARK

Lark: YOU SAW /BETH/ GET RAAAAAILED BY /CHAUNCY/! HARD!

Lark: YEAH! WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO!? OUR BEST FRIENDS ARE FUCKING! RIGHT UNDER OUR NOSES! HOW LONG DO YOU THINK IT'S BEEN GOING ON?

TPotts: IS IT WEIRD TO BE JEALOUS OF BOTH OF THEM? HARD!

TPotts: I DON'T KNOW! WHAT *CAN* WE DO?! LIKE WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING, WE CAN'T JUST DO NOTHING, BUT WHAT IS THERE TO DO?! BETH HAD A BOYFRIEND LIKE NOT EVEN A MONTH AGO SO IT CAN'T HAVE BEEN THAT LONG?! OH MY FUCK, IS CHAUNCY HER REBOUND GUY?! THAT'S SUCH A STUPID IDEA!

[tpotts]

TEXT 😱 TLARK

Lark: HOLY FUCK!!!! YOU SAW BETH AND CHAUNCY FUCK!!!

Lark: BETH AND CHAUNCY ARE FUCKING!!!!!!

TPotts: I SAW THEM FUCK! LIKE *SERIOUSLY* FUCK!

TPotts: THIS IS AN EVEN WORSE FRIEND EMERGENCY!

[tpotts]

TEXT 😱 TLARK

Lark: You think them loudly wrestling is more likely than Chauncy turning Beth into an absolute screamer? I mean, we've heard some of the people he brings in haven't we? How dressed were they while "wrestling"?

TPotts: ...You're making some very valid points.

TPotts: HOLY SHIT, WHAT IF THEY'RE FUCKING?!

TPotts: WHAT IF I SAW IT?!

[tpotts]

TEXT 😱 TLARK

Lark: Yes? Obviously?

TPotts: Like I guess? But I think I'd know if two of my best friends were fucking? Plus, we've lived with Beth AND Chauncy both, we've heard them both fuck through a wall, and they were WAY louder during their fight.

[tpotts]

TEXT 😱 TLARK

Lark: Oh wow. Are you sure they weren't just fucking??

TPotts: Beth and Chauncy??????????

[tpotts]

TEXT 😱 TLARK

Lark: Um babe...where did you see this happen???

TPotts: Beth's room! On her bed! So at least they weren't on the FLOOR or something but asldkfj it was INSANE!

[tpotts]

TEXT 😱 TLARK

Lark: SO SO HARD? WHAT??????

TPotts: YEAH!!! Like, they weren't just play-fighting like when we were kids or something, they were SWEATING! AND GRUNTING! AND FLAILING! AND SCREAMING! It was a LOT! What do you think HAPPENED?!

[tpotts]

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Lark: WHAT????

TPotts: I KNOW! I have no idea what could have had them at each other's throats like that but they were going HARD, so so HARD! WHAT DO WE DO?!

[tpotts]

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TPotts: FRIEND EMERGENCY, FRIEND EMERGENCY!

TPotts: I caught Beth and Chauncy wrestling earlier, like, VIOLENTLY wrestling, with vigor! AND she was like FULLY screaming! I don't think I've ever heard Beth go full voice before and it would've been cool if I wasn't 99.99% sure that they must be in a fight? They didn't even notice me there, THAT'S how all up in each other's business they were! Should we host an intervention?! Because you know as well as I do that if any two of us have a friend break up, we're DOOMED as a foursome!

[tpotts]

Text 😭 ChaiT

Chai: No? But when they talk to each other they babble in their own little baby language. I'm going to ask Charlie if he and Chrissy have it, because I've never heard any twins swear that! Obviously they're going to learn that your name is TPotts because you'd BETTER come around enough to teach them for yourself. Cuz if you don't I will have a blast listening to my kiddos trying to pronounce The Name We Shall Not Speak. Oh no! Maybe you should do something cute to your hair or something to make him take more pictures of you too! Wow, looks like her narc game is slipping, finally! Beaches are like maaade for weed, I'd have been so sad for you if you didn't get to experience that. Dude, I can't abandon my babies, so no. And then Charlie would have to come too, I think?

TPotts: That's so cute asflkj I want kids! You haven't? I swear some twins at school are always like WE DON'T EVEN HAVE TO TALK OUTLOUD WE HAVE THE SAME BRAIN, it's border-line obnoxious. THAT'S SO RUDE OF YOU but we don't have to worry about it, you know I'll be around way too often lmao. Is my hair UNcute?! Tell me! Has it lost its magic?! I TRIED to make him take pictures of me, I photobombed a lot, but it was like trying to pull magnets apart. And yeah, maybe getting her heart broken in front of like everyone finally chilled Beth out enough that she let that slide! Not that I'm HAPPY Orville skipped town on her, but you know, I AM happy I got to smoke weed. I wasn't asking you to abandon your babies, but they have a dad! He could take care of them! But if you want to bring him and them, that's cool too! I just wish *I* had a family to bring too lol.