Track Erin's Fitness @trackerinsfitness - Tumblr Blog

I recently started doing “Zombies, Run!” and my god does it motivate you! Nothing makes you run faster quite like hearing the moans of the living dead gradually getting closer. I’ve run some of my fastest 5k times EVER.

motiveweight-deactivated2017032

I think I might try this app…

#I need it

Today's Workout.

One step at a time. Yes, Its only the second day of working out and I'm sure I'll cop out on Monday and stop going completely because that's my habit, buuuut I did have a somewhat decent workout today.

I went to the gym with Zero expectations for myself, because as usual unless I'm getting yelled at or have anxiety for not performing well, I feel like I slack off. So I did 15 minutes of Cardio at 4mph and then the last 15 of it at 3mph, but all while maintaining a 160bpm. I guess its a step up, right?

But what made my workout even better was watching this completely babetastic girl, with a charlie chaplin tattoo and a sweet undercut lifting weights just across the way. She was so boss that I couldn't help but want to keep going. Thanks babetastic chick at Planet Fitness, you made me keep going today.

#working out #fitblr #workout #about me

Personal Post

First I guess I can say, hello everyone, I'm back yet again. For now I will fill you all in on my life since the last time I regularly posted here.

I feel troubled because I really don't know where to start in all of this, other than to try and address all of my self-loathing and hate.

I worked out regularly at the beginning of the year, every morning I'd get up at 6am and go to the gym with my aunts for an hour long workout, get back to my place and shower and get ready for daycare, that was all fine and dandy until getting the flu knocked me on my ass and I lost my momentum.

Somehow, in my mind I started to accept my weight and body shape and the whole hallabaloo and whatever and went on to perform a burlesque routine in May, stripping down to pasties and a thong, all the while picking up a smoking habit to deal with my anxiety and depression, because my wedding was rolling full-steam ahead and I was in no way prepared. [QUE SELF-LOATHING AND EATING DISORDERS]

Yes, I admit it. I started to skip all meals. All of them. And only eat when I started to feel dizzy and even then it was mostly me telling myself that I was only dizzy because I wasn't drinking water, while increasing my smoking habit. Oh and I got an overnight job, which was super great and dandy until I got criticism. And as a huge anxiety cat, I completely flipped and started to get anxiety attacks thinking about going to work ten hours a day every weekend and therefore increased my smoking AND sleeping habit to combat my own depression.

I started to avoid as many duties as I could but the anxiety of it all continued to build up until I got to a point where I just started to let things go and ignore the things I couldn't. I stayed home all summer it seemed and spent even less time with my friends as I had before all while trying to cope the stress of getting married and knowing that I wouldn't have things the way I wanted them, but because of my strenuous job and smoking habit I lost inches making my perfectly fitting wedding dress a little loose at the top. I had that brought in during my fitting and though it felt tight, my best friend and the seamstress kept telling me that it was better that it was a little tight rather than having to pull it up all night. I reluctantly conceded and had my dress brought in, which turned out to be a huge mistake.

As the wedding got closer and I made the decision that I would rather look after my health than to continue at a job that set off a lot of my triggers, so I gave my overnight my two weeks notice and set to focus on my wedding and quitting smoking, because smoking is bad for you... only to gain back ten pounds right before my wedding and to have a dress that was too tight.

Oh a tight dress that's not so bad... WRONG. I got blisters down my back because it was too tight and the corsetting ribs dug into me. I can't say I'm lying that in the days after my wedding while I was on my honeymoon all I could think to myself was how ugly and fat I was, that I disappointed myself and that I needed to hurt myself because it was all my fault... etc. Its hard to admit all these things because the more I look at the more unhealthy I feel mentally and physically. Things have really started to go downhill for me it seems. I can't help but think of myself as a fat failure and it feels like some people in my life don't understand that.

Without weighing myself, I can tell when I'm hitting the upper 180s because that's when I start getting acid reflex and puking up my food and my worries start to pile on.

I'm going to get diabetic

I'm going to have to wear moo moos

They're going to have to amputate my legs

At least I'd weigh less if I didn't have legs

It really sucks, because I can't steer myself away from these thoughts and now that I'm newly wed I can't help but tell my husband not to touch me because I'm fat. He insists I'm not fat and so I tell him its his own fault he has low standards and likes ugly fat cows like me.

It probably sounds stupid but I can't stop myself from saying these things to him and feeling this way. I can't help that I feel unattractive and fat and ugly. I hate that I'm like this. It hits me even harder knowing that I'm only 7 pounds away from being 200 pounds and that my body measurements are nearly a foot more than they were three years ago and I don't know how to get back to that. Or how to recover from that.

And it hurts.

Today was the first day I worked out at the gym. I didn't run. I just climbed on a treadmill, hit cardio and started to walk. I kept 153 bpm for a half hour and then went home. I don't feel proud or accomplished, I just feel like a lazy fat bitch that finally decided to get out of the house for an hour and that's depressing.

I need some advice.

#rant #about me #weight

tsundere-sempai

I’m probably a fucking horrible person, but I am laughing my ass off. My step-sister has been fucking hellbent on having her baby since March, which was a month early. She went around telling EVERYONE she could that the doctors said that she was getting too big too fast, so they were going to induce her. March comes and goes and she doesn’t have the baby. Her due date was 4/10/12. This Monday she told everyone that she was going to go in Thursday (today) because the doctor was going to induce her. Lo and behold, She goes in, waits for six hours to be induced and then is told to go home because they don’t have the room for her and to come back tomorrow. Fucking bitch kept telling everyone she was going to be early and karma has come back to bite her in the ass. I hope she goes over a week overdue because I will cackle until I die.

ironinsideandout

theroadtoslimcity

$h!t Women Say To Personal Trainers

HILARIOUS!

breakingdavid

Bahaha

dutchster

Reverse gender stereotypes at the gym

jessicafyffe-deactivated2011051

"Do you know how many calories are in that?"

sodamnrelatable

“…Do you know how many fucks I give?”

fitphweebs

phwoar!!! look at that!!

diet-andexercise

no offence but if your going to take a picture of yourself in white see through undies and put it on the internet you should probs shave..

fromhatetohealthy-deactivated20

Excuse me? Are you fucking serious right now? How dare you body shame her. If she doesn’t shave that’s her personal choice. She does not have to shave before she posts any type of picture to please your distorted beliefs. It’s because of comments like this, especially from other women, that so many women are insecure. Kindly go fuck yourself.

h-ea-lth-blog

^

runningafterfitness-blog

^^^^^ check that internalized misogyny everyone, we need to love our sisters, not hate on them.

lexlifts

seriously. wow how immature do you have to be to be whining about SOMEONE ELSES natural body hair christ on a cracker girl check yo self before you wreck yo self