in a constant state of jazz

vents and bad puns, adult

[tradwifewrestling]

[pandyssian-deactivated20210112]

OH MY GOD APPARENTLY TAKING AN ARROW TO THE KNEE WAS AN OLD NORDIC SLANG FOR GETTING MARRIED 

I THOUGHT THAT ALL THOSE GUYS IN SKYRIM HAD LITERALLY BEEN SHOT IN THEIR KNEES WITH ARROWS BUT I GUESS NOT

[dameofspace]

And at that moment, the foundation of that entire meme became something like this:

[heyaeya]

THAT EXPLAINS WHY MEN GO DOWN ON ONE KNEE WHEN THEY PROPOSE

[thevvinterbeard]

OH MY GOD

[syristones-deactivated20131109]

I will never not laugh at this.

[commanderchrist-deactivated2017]

I had this friend who used to brag to us all the time that he could catch his cum in his mouth without fail every time he masturbated.  He actually wrote down how many times he successfully did it.  327.  I’ll never forget that number.  And every day at school, he would talk about this.  It was always during lunch my sophomore year of high school, too..so it was extremely unnecessary.  He used to always try to demonstrate his techniques with packets of mayonnaise but we’d always threaten to move tables so he’d stop.  He was really one of those people who needed attention constantly.  Aside from those times at lunch, he was a completely normal dude.  Like…even after class we’d ask him about that stuff and be like “dude, what was with that cum stuff at lunch,” and he’d always look at us like we were crazy and say “what the hell are you talking about?”  I’ll never forget that classmate.  His great personality will always be remember but his perplexing obsession with catching his own ejaculate in his mouth will live on forever at my previous high school.  He was a one of a kind guy.  His name was Norman Reedus.

[galaxywarp]

[kosmogrl]

sundays rule number 1: DON'T THINK ABOUT YOUR LIFE

[tradwifewrestling]

If someone in a job interview told me to "sell me this pen" I'd be doing the thing the joker does in dark knight but to myself

[cognitohazardous]

your 'jerking it to the smell of isopropyl alcohol' post has me remembering how i used to be so ashamed of having any sexual desires that i only allowed myself to jack off to the mental image of an arial drone shot of a pine forest

transcendentalism

[perenial]

hey sorry i can't come out tonight i have a thing

[perenial]

[dogpuppy]

[dogpuppy]

[ravioliet]

fish love me women also love me!! everyone love me!!! yayy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[oars-deactivated20250629]

girl are you sure???????????????

[flerns]

im collecting them

[sharps-container]

[woman-becomer]

thanks to compilation efforts, three posts regarding the gneep gnorp population are able to be read together in a single post, and they are now the most documented species out of all creatures on earth

[reallyreallyreallytrying]

i have a false tooth filled with a placebo in case i'm ever captured and need to be a control subject

[vivi-mire]

the what now

[goldensunset]

[hopeless-eccentric]

humiliating to be attracted to a conventionally attractive person. I thought I was a more sensitive and refined pervert than this

[number-one-toku-robot-lover]

Literally any show can be improved by adding more older women. Not many know this, but it’s true.