path of the trailblaze

"When there is the chance to make a choice, make one that you know you won't regret..." closed rp blog for caelus of hsr || affiliated with gnostichymns

[trailblczed]

#TRAILBLCZED ──  a study in exploring the cosmos, learning the truth of oneself, fighting for what you believe in, discovering found family, && taking on the duty of saving galaxies - a story told by prince/jehr

private roleplay blog for caelus of honkai star rail ── previously affiliated with @gnostichymns

RULES && MUN. | DOSSIER. | IMPORTANT HEADCANONS. | TALENTS. | CREDITS. |

pinned post image provided by Tsu divider banners created by @cafekitsune

[trailblczed]

THE CHASE HAS ENDED!

Congrats to Team 3, Caelus and Columbina for collecting 11 CatCakes, worth a total of 59 points!

Thank you for participating, and your efforts to reunite a father and his kids shan't be unrewarded! May your journey through the stars be blessed by the Trailblaze.

[trailblczed]

☆ gotta catch 'em all, gotta catch 'em all!

( and hopefully not a copyright violation.. )

【 catcake chase ── the search is on! 】

[moonlitdamselette]

“…Huh…?” Columbina mirrors Caelus’ head tilt with one of her own, brows ever so slightly furrowing together behind his back. Did he just…. Put them on his head….????

Carefully, she adjusts once again, fitting the more aggressive catcake beneath the other as a base, so as not to disturb its leaf hat again as had upset it so before. Huh. They do fit together rather nicely. Almost as though they’re some sort of marketable children’s toy, meant to be collected and stacked atop each other and an adorable display piece… 

…Nah, that’d be silly.

Mimicking her teammates action, the moon goddess carefully balances the little ones atop her own head as she follows, as well as copying in the little wave to the stranger outside the new location — one that is apparently host to some sort of catcake… race, or something…?

Dice Rolls:  3, 4, 2 [ Grey Skin, Purple Filling, ^ Pattern ] 5 [ White Eyepatch ] 2 [ Bandages ] 2, 9 [ Eye of Lightning ] Point Total: 6

What strange music… 

The thought is immediate, but one she keeps to herself. Music is the most personal thing to one’s heart that can be heard, after all, and to insult it even accidentally would be the greatest offense she could ever imagine. As long as the two surprisingly vibrant catcakes immediately noticeably upon their entrance (though one far more-so than the other, she can practically see the light it emits through her blindfold…) enjoy singing along, that’s what matters.

Dice Rolls:  5, 5, 2 [ Orange Skin, Orange Filling, ^ Pattern ] 6 [ Black Eyepatch ] 4 [ Belt ] 2, 1 [ Trash ] Point Total: 6

Oh, and there’s another one. How’d it end up in the trash can??

“Hehe, that he did,” Seriously, what is a baseball? “You seem to know this place rather well. On my own, I wouldn’t have found even half the number of catcakes. I’m very fortunate to have been paired with someone like you.”

Columbina smiles at the baseballer as she approaches the two still-free catcakes, scooping them up one after the other to add to the tower of them growing atop of her head.

“Stack. Stack.”

[trailblczed]

❛ I've been a guest of Herta's Space Station for about three years now.. I would certainly hope I knew the place like the back of my hand at this point. Indeed lucky you. I am the best adventuring companion anyone could ever ask for- totally not biased or anything. ❜

The catcakes on his head emit soft mewls as they do their typical squishy movements, a little smile etched into the silver's expression. As he moves behind the desk, he notes two more critters- conveniently stacked together already. Makes it real easy to pick them up with a careful touch to then add to his preexisting stack ( yes he has five catcakes on top of his head- what of it? ).

Dice Rolls: 2, 5, 5 [ Purple Skin, Orange Filling, Mustache Pattern ] 2 [ Heart Eyes ] 2 [ Bandages ] 1 [ No Special Trait ] Point Total: 5

Dice Rolls: 3, 1, 1 [ Grey Skin, Pink Filling, No Pattern ] 5 [ White Eyepatch Eyes ] 5 [ Bandaid ] 1 [ No Special Trait ] Point Total: 5

❛ You know, I am really glad that I already know that you all can come out of the oven with these bandages and whatnot-- because otherwise I would be exceedingly worried about why so many of you were "injured". ❜

No because seriously, what are the chances that three out of the five catcakes he has found had eye patches or other medical-like accessories? What kind of messed up RNG god is rolling the dice?

[trailblczed]

Oh no! Caelus appears to have lost some of his CatCakes! So many are missing, and Herta's Space Station is simply too large for him to search on his own. In an act of desperation, Caelus sends out a mass text message asking for help. You have responded, offering your aid! Caelus thanks you, and informs you that you will be accompanied by another one of his trusted companions to traverse Herta's Space Station. He wouldn't have you search by yourself! He also wouldn't have you search wildly around such a large ship, so he tells you that you and your companion should search a specific area and floor on the station. Caelus also says he is on a time crunch to get as many of the CatCakes back so they don't go hungry or get accidentally hurt. You will have three weeks starting Monday March 23rd and ending on Monday April 6th to search for them. Best of luck to you on your hunt, star travelers.

For an explanation of the instructions, please look to this handy-dandy document that will also serve as your reference sheet during the entirety of this event.

It is listed on the document, but you may also find the Teams' points tracker here.

Finally- please tag your posts with #CatCakeChase2026 for this event.

Happy chasing!

[trailblczed]

After some quiet deliberation, and taking into account the progress of the teams, the event will be extended another week! Another another week may be granted, though that will be unlikely.

So all teams have, at this point in time, until Monday April 13th to complete their rolls.

A helpful tip, you can take multiple turns in one post. For example, I could roll for turn 4 and 5 ( only two at a time maximum ) and put them all together for a single reply on my thread. Make use of this to complete as many rolls/turns as possible.

Best of luck to you, chasers!

[trailblczed]

☆ gotta catch 'em all, gotta catch 'em all!

( and hopefully not a copyright violation.. )

【 catcake chase ── the search is on! 】

[moonlitdamselette]

Despite the fairly obvious way she had asked for it meaning the sentiment may not be one born entirely of merit, Columbina smiles at the praise all the same. Confirmation of a job well done is always a nice thing to have. Even if the term, ‘hunter’, that comes with it, in this context of something so innocent, is one that… feels as though they may be perceiving her as rather unkind in certain contexts, to say the least.

Perhaps, if she finds another, she’ll get to graduate from ’natural hunter’ to ‘expert tracker’. Or better yet, ‘friend’.

Dice Rolls:  1, 2, 3 [ Blue Skin, Brown Filling, O Pattern ] 1 [ None ] 4 [ Bandages ] 1 [ None ] Point Total: 4

Almost as if prompted by her silent wish, a cabinet door by her feet suddenly swings open all on its own, sending a little catcake tangled up in bandages tumbling out onto the floor — followed closely behind by what little remains of the roll it came from. A sight that would have been far more worrying, were it not for the fact that little one seemed more concerned with chasing after the bandages it keeps wrapping itself in more and more than the tangling itself. Cute…

“Perhaps they simply like it.” The moon goddess muses back as she crouches beside the little criminal, ending the chase herself by simply handing it the rest of the roll, leaving it to chomp and bat at the poor thing like the vicious beast that it is as she scoops it up. “I have similar little ones — the kuuhenkhi — they often like to play with whatever they can get their hands on. I assume they and the catcakes must be much the same, in that regard.”

Giggling, Columbina raises a finger to tap the violent little one on the nose(? She thinks that’s where its nose should be, at least?) before turning her focus back towards the voice of baseballer with a tilt of her head. “Many of the kuuhenki often have a preference for music, or particularly shiny objects. Maybe we’d find more somewhere where there’s a lot of those.”

[trailblczed]

❛ Kuuhkenki..? ❜

The Nameless murmurs, the slightest head-tilt portraying both his confusion and intrigue. Certainly an interesting name- and it's not as if Caelus is lacking in the exploration department. He's run in to all sorts of odd creatures outside of Ruan Mei's creations.. the Chimera on Amphoreus and the Origami Birds on Penacony a few that stand out. Maybe a time will come when he can see these kuuhkenki IRL.

There aren't any other catcakes in the clinic- that he can see anyway. Plus, Columbina's information gives him an idea.

❛ I think I might know a place. C'mon! ❜

With a little skip in his step, Caelus places both of the catcakes he had personally found atop his head before moving through the automatic doors to exit the clinic. He keeps his stride relatively small, as he doesn't want to rush the lass. The silver is a team player, and it'd harm his reputation if he'd dash off and leave his companion abandoned or lost.

Once back down the steps to return to the main floor, Caelus makes his way passed the Reception Center's desk- giving Wen Mingde a tiny wave ( just as he had with the clinic staff )- to enter a relatively long hallway. In said hallway, there is a single somewhat small room. That is the destination. This tiny room has an odd atmosphere- being comforting and mysterious. He remembers when he had to collect several ID cards to even get the room to open.

Dice Rolls: 5, 5, 5 [ Orange Skin, Orange Filling, Mustache Pattern ] 3 [ Sparkle Eyes ] 9 [ Stripe ] 2 [ Special Trait ] 6 [ Phlogiston Mutation ] Point Total: 6

Caelus mentally pats himself on the back for his instinct ( one of the few times it actually benefits him, or.. you know, works ) to come check the room out. Because not even two steps in and the slightest turn to the side presents another catcake in it's blinding orange glory, happily humming along to some random copyright free music that plays off the main holoscreen on the only desk situated near the back of the room.

❛ The Galactic Baseballer strikes again! ❜

[trailblczed]

☆ gotta catch 'em all, gotta catch 'em all!

( and hopefully not a copyright violation.. )

【 catcake chase ── the search is on! 】

[moonlitdamselette]

In truth, there are many aspects of  this adventure that Columbina doesn’t entirely understand. Where they are being one of the biggest mysteries, followed shortly behind by how she even got here in the first place, what exactly that thing was that he had used to contact her, and what is a ‘baseball’.

Still, at the very least she knows what a ‘cat’ is well enough, and while she’s unsure what ‘cakes’ have to do with anything, far be it from her to deny the cry for help of an innocent friend. To be lost is a terrifying thing, and to lose that which you care for deeply as he has so many of them, even more so.

“Sure. Lead the way.” The moon goddess responds to the suggestion in a nod. It only makes sense, after all, for the one familiar with such a place to lead. And given he seems familiar with the people too, even more so. Though the cat he seemingly finds may have been fine for her to take alone, it’s unlikely they’d respond so kindly to the presence of a stranger enough to allow her poking through their shrubbery as he proceeds to suggest, were he not at her side as he is now.

“In the plants? Hmm… Alright, I can do that. Here, kitty kitty kitty…”

Dice Rolls:  1, 5, 3 [ Blue Skin, Orange Filling, O Pattern ] 2 [ Heart Eyes ] 4 [ Belt ] 2, 4 [ Seed ] Point Total: 5

Sticking her hands into a potted plant nearby the doorway quickly finds her petting over a very un-plantlike yet very catlike in shape head, bringing a smile to her face as she reaches under its body to scoop it up. It’s… very un-catlike shaped body.

…Oh. So that’s what the ‘cake’ meant. 

Readjusting the little friend in her arms for a moment (and attempting to flick the remnants of plants off the little one’s head, which is vehemently protests with violent squirms until she gives up. Perhaps it was an intentional fashion choice, after all?) she turns back to her companion to showcase her find.

“Got one.”

[trailblczed]

The urge to give a large thumbs up to the lass is strong, but it is one Caelus must quell. There are more important matters at paw hand! He can't stifle his little giggle as the catcake mews in displeasure at her attempting to rid it of the soil it had been marinating in.

❛ Well done. You'll be a natural catcake hunter once we finish collecting them all! ❜

It's a tad tricky with the catcake he had initially found still in his palm, the silver manages to get down onto on knee to take a peak under the desk. You really never know where these critters are hiding, after all.

Dice Rolls: 4, 5, 2 [ Green Skin, Orange Filling, ^ Pattern ] 4 [ Shades ] 3 [ Ribbon ] 2 [ Special Trait ] 7 [ Virtual Particle Mutation ] Point Total: 6

And it is a good thing he had, as another catcake- slightly larger than the first one he had found- is tucked behind the cabinet drawer. The orange and green color scheming reminds him of something.. of someone-- not now, Galactic Baseballer! The time to gush about your man can come later. Besides.. the scolding that Dan Heng will give him is going to succccccccccckkkkkkkkkk. Maybe he should pick up a special treat for the elusive archivist to ease the blow.. hm. Much to think about.

❛ Geez.. How many of you are in the clinic? Why are you all in the clinic? ❜

Caelus asks aloud, more to himself- or to the catcakes- than anything.

[trailblczed]

☆ gotta catch 'em all, gotta catch 'em all!

( and hopefully not a copyright violation.. )

【 catcake chase ── the search is on! 】

[trailblczed]

It seems like it was amber eras ago that Caelus had caused a housing crisis on Herta's Space Station.. thankfully, he had help to find the catcakes then too. But now, it's his turn to do the searching ( there's not that many of them missing.. right? ), scanning high and low. Still, he does have a partner so it isn't like he will be alone and have a chance to accidentally miss any of the little critters.

Granted, the Nameless has only heard rumors about the lady- all of which were fairly positive, so he has no complaints. Besides, what better way to get to know a person than by going on a spontaneous "adventure"! An adventure to the Base Zone, that is.. granted, there isn't much there besides a few big computer offices- that he assumes are pretty important based on how large the rooms are, and that there is a front desk that you have to pass before going into either area- and the on-site(ship?) clinic that's up some stairs.

❛ Hm.. I can't imagine the catcakes would be in the clinic, but why not start there anyway? You never know, there might have been a patch to where they can go up there now. ❜

Caelus muses with a little snort, easily making it up the stairs until he enters the medical room. Joanne is there ( when isn't she ) and the silver gives her a wave before moving around, making sure to stay out of the way for the rest of the medical staff. He doesn't to impede their work, obviously. Much to his surprise, Caelus does manage to find a catcake sat atop one of the desks along the back wall.

Dice Rolls: 5, 3 ,1 [ Orange Skin, Black Filling, No Patterns ] 6 [ Black Eye Patch ] 3 [ Ribbon ] 1 [ No Special Trait ] Point Total: 5

The poor thing has an eyepatch.. perhaps that's why it's in the clinic! Well.. the presence of the eyepatch doesn't always mean there was a health issue- sometimes they just came out of the oven like that. Weird design choice but Go Off devs. Gentle as he can be, Caelus slides his fingers under the catcake until it rests comfortably in his hands.

❛ Do you see any other catcakes hiding? They do like plants, so they may be resting in the pots or near the flora around the desks. ❜

The Nameless calls to his companion, hopeful that his knowledge of his creations ( still weird to think about ) will be useful in finding his lost kids.

a story featuring @moonlitdamselette

[trailblczed]

Hey, just wanted to say thanks once again for helping me find my kids-- I mean, my catcakes. I know there are a lot of them, but I would suggest searching ( insert area for team x ). I have a feeling there are a lot of them in that area. Now I know, I know- it's a pretty big area to go wander around on your own. But there is nothing to fear! For I, the amazing Galactic BaseBaller, have found you an assistant! Their name is ( insert teammate name a or b ), and yes, I already asked them, and they said they don't mind teaming up with you- so don't stress! Best of luck! And once again thank you sooooooo so much for helping me find them. I swear I will make it up to you somehow.

[trailblczed]

Oh no! Caelus appears to have lost some of his CatCakes! So many are missing, and Herta's Space Station is simply too large for him to search on his own. In an act of desperation, Caelus sends out a mass text message asking for help. You have responded, offering your aid! Caelus thanks you, and informs you that you will be accompanied by another one of his trusted companions to traverse Herta's Space Station. He wouldn't have you search by yourself! He also wouldn't have you search wildly around such a large ship, so he tells you that you and your companion should search a specific area and floor on the station. Caelus also says he is on a time crunch to get as many of the CatCakes back so they don't go hungry or get accidentally hurt. You will have three weeks starting Monday March 23rd and ending on Monday April 6th to search for them. Best of luck to you on your hunt, star travelers.

For an explanation of the instructions, please look to this handy-dandy document that will also serve as your reference sheet during the entirety of this event.

It is listed on the document, but you may also find the Teams' points tracker here.

Finally- please tag your posts with #CatCakeChase2026 for this event.

Happy chasing!

[trailblczed]

Oh no! It appears that Caelus did not learn his lesson the first time about making so many CatCakes! He has made far too many, and most of them are still missing- and Herta's Space Station is simply too large for him to search on his own. Are you willing to help Caelus out ( again ), by locating some of the missing CatCakes and bring them home? Don't worry, you'll have a partner ( or two ) to help you out in your search! Caelus won't leave your assistance unrewarded. Each CatCake you find and bring back to him will earn you points. How are the points decided? By the CatCake's rarity, of course! With so many different traits and mutations, each one has their own value- but don't get him wrong, Caelus adores each CatCake equally. Who knows, maybe you will even stumble across a specialty CatCake that looks like some of his companions. You may even be able to take one of these special creations home with you.

So, are you willing to lend a hand? Great! Send him a text letting him know that you will be ready to go by March 20h. This CatCake scavenger hunt will last three weeks long, starting Monday March 23rd and will end on Monday April 6th.

Teams of two ( or three ) muses will be sent to different areas on Herta's Station, and spend 10 turns each rolling a set number of dice, most with different face amounts, to determine a CatCake's value based on it's traits. Each trait is worth a different point value. Each team will have collected 20 ( or 30 ) CatCakes by the end of the 10 turns.

Narrative? There is none ( aside from searching for cats )! Make it as long and complicated, or as simple and sweet as you would like it to be. In short, it's just rolling dice as you find a CatCake per turn as your team wanders around your given location. The team with the most points will win a prize ( whatever you have selected on the fill-out form --^ ), and the second place team will also win a smaller prize. This event is similar in nature to Gnostic Hymns' Harpastum Toss during the Solstace event in 2024 with regards to just rolling dice and having a fairly plain narrative.

For any curious, this document goes over the basic rules of the CatCakeChase event in regards to how you roll your dice and what the point system is like.

The Galactic Baseball-er thanks you for your participation!

[trailblczed]

I, much like a lot of us it seems, will still be active here- and will continue to reply to any current threads still going, and am still open to taking more ( past prompts or otherwise ). However, I will also be reviving my indie ( @miraiq multi-muse / @parxgon ocs [ft fire emblem] ) when I get a break from school-- which likely won't be until April at earliest. Funnily enough I was going to put myself on a hiatus for Feburary, but I suppose that won't be necessary (/lh).

I don't have much of a "goodbye letter" to leave, but I will fondly think of these last 2 years of roleplay often. Huge shout-out and big thanks to Rai for more-or-less keeping me in the group when I first joined. I always had a bad history when trying to get into rp groups, and I nearly left after a little Incident within the first few months of joining. It is thanks to her coming to check on me afterward and just talking to me that I pushed through and stayed despite what occurred-- and here I am almost 2 years later. Never could have imagined it for myself.

I strongly wish everyone the best, whether they choose to move on to new adventures or choose to plant their feet firmly into the lovingly cultivated soil that Gnostic Hymns has nurtured.

[trailblczed]

I completely forgot to mention, but I will also be bringing back my previous muses: Guinaifen (@lilyanyuangui), Jingliu (@oflunarflame), and Hysilens (@knighteternal) ; and all muses will retain any previous Gnostic Hymns lore.

[trailblczed]

I, much like a lot of us it seems, will still be active here- and will continue to reply to any current threads still going, and am still open to taking more ( past prompts or otherwise ). However, I will also be reviving my indie ( @miraiq multi-muse / @parxgon ocs [ft fire emblem] ) when I get a break from school-- which likely won't be until April at earliest. Funnily enough I was going to put myself on a hiatus for Feburary, but I suppose that won't be necessary (/lh).

I don't have much of a "goodbye letter" to leave, but I will fondly think of these last 2 years of roleplay often. Huge shout-out and big thanks to Rai for more-or-less keeping me in the group when I first joined. I always had a bad history when trying to get into rp groups, and I nearly left after a little Incident within the first few months of joining. It is thanks to her coming to check on me afterward and just talking to me that I pushed through and stayed despite what occurred-- and here I am almost 2 years later. Never could have imagined it for myself.

I strongly wish everyone the best, whether they choose to move on to new adventures or choose to plant their feet firmly into the lovingly cultivated soil that Gnostic Hymns has nurtured.

[trailblczed]

☆ aren't you tired of being nice? don't you ever want to go ape shit?

【 crystalize commission ── shackling prison trainer(s) 】

[spicehill]

an ear twitches slightly at the softness in caelus' tone as the question is directed towards him instead. normally, he'd be inclined to take a seat outdoors on such a lovely day... but this was still so close to the luofu's alchemy commission, where either dragon lady ( the small or the more standard size ) or their assistants who had been seeing to his treatment would be quite cross if they caught him having hotpot not long after a check-up.

besides... the trailblazer wants to have a talk, doesn't he? indoors, preferably somewhere quiet and far from the main kitchen, would likely be their best bet. so --- jiaoqiu smiles, then turns to where he heard and can vaguely make out the form of the hostess who'd greeted them. "let's head inside."

the figure before them shuffles and leaves the stand --- he moves to bring caelus along before she even gives the direction. "alright, wonderful! ~ please, follow me!"

once they've taken a seat in a quiet part of the restaurant, jiaoqiu turns to the hostess to push away a bound booklet she's placing down in front of him. "oh -- no thank you, I won't personally need a menu: just tell the server that I will want to know the current hotpot specials when they arrive. but my friend may need one."

the hostess makes a sound of acknowledgement as she takes the menu away: "mm, of course. your server is yuze, he'll be here shortly!" then, departing footsteps follow.

finally, jiaoqiu turns back to caelus: "if it's not too much of a distraction while you look through things, feel free to share more of what you wanted to ask me about on our walk here. leadership qualities, correct? and as I last mentioned, while I've not been in a position of leadership per-se, I have served as an advisor to a few different leaders over the years."

[trailblczed]

Caelus' little grin quirks up as his companion tugs him along- unbothered but amused, very used to March constantly hanging over him or snagging his hand to make him follow her ( he doesn't mind when she does either, but was tickled by the random comparison ). The silver easily keeps in step, waiting until Jiaoqiu had settled before moving to sit down himself. A soft snort escapes him when the man then informs the hostess that he hadn't need of menu, and that Caelus did. Of course the foxian already knew what to order, and similarly correct that the Nameless had no idea what he wanted. He isn't sure why it was funny to him, it just was. Enjoy the little things in life-- or something like that, yeah?

Amber eyes scan the menu, unsurprising that there are quite a few items Caelus had never even heard of before. But he was never one to back down from a challenge.

❛ Yeah! Leadership skills or like.. how to tame a crowd.. to get people to take me seriously? I guess I should just start from the beginning. ❜

The silver groans ever so quietly under his breath, rolling one shoulder even as he debates on what to order in the back of his mind. There was no servers that Caelus noticed nearby, which means he still has plenty of time to think it over- good. Plus, he wouldn't mind waiting anyway. He doesn't want to rush people just trying to do their jobs after all.

❛ There are some new Cloud Knight recruits and some new trainings that they want these, and some veteran soldiers, to go through. And lucky them, I offered to help lead some of these lessons- because I'm just that great a guy, and have a good amount of combat experience.. and, you know, saved the Luofu. But no matter what I try to do I can never get them to listen to directions. Even had a few openly mock me for "looking too weak to have done anything" and was just "someone who happened to be there taking the credit". ❜

Caelus once again sighs, shoulders slumping in silent defeat.

❛ Like, sure I could force them to at least respect me- beat them in some one-on-one fights or something, but I'm not that kind of guy. ❜

Not to mention that the Nameless is worried about possible.. lingering Mara-Struck symptoms from having been deceived by Dan Shu into taking tainted medicine. Caelus really does not want to have to relive witnessing an entire room of highly trained warriors looking at him in pure horror and nearly at deaths door by his own hand. Less "violent" methods, the better.

[renascinem]

I Moved Mountains for You (And So What) || Dan Heng & Caelus

So about that whole Thing || @trailblczed || Commission Season: Preservation

[renascinem]

HSR 3.6 Trailblaze Mission spoilers

………… Oh, he found it.

Before coming into Caelus' view, Dan Heng sees the Trailblazer on the bench, the draft of the travel log in his hand, and winces. The woe of an archivist is that little to no room is given for concealing certain things. Matters he would rather keep to himself, whether due to their highly personal nature, or to avoid worrying overly those he cares for - but if he does that, the notes from the Trailblazing expedition shall forever remain incomplete, and no self-respecting archivist can stomach the thought of their work being overly plagued and influenced by bias.

He has already avoided inputting certain personal information about himself into the data bank, leaving it vague in a selfish thought that if others are allowed incomplete entries due to his lack of knowledge about them, why can't he have one of those as well? - or on other occasions, even as he conquered his hesitation, he would anguish over that "Save" button for hours or days before finally pressing it.

Once upon a time he did that first and foremost for his own sake, but over time, more and more often, he realized that he wasn't trying to hide the truth from himself, but rather from those whom he already caused enough worry and trouble, and wished to spare from more. They had more than enough to think about without his personal matters adding into the pile.

("Dan Heng, everyone including you is allowed to have problems," they'd say with a smile and encouraging shoulder pats. And he would nod silently, but to this day it has been a difficult thought to swallow. The Express guard should remove their concerns, not cause them.)

(He already brought danger with himself everywhere he went. They were already gracious enough for accepting him for this long.)

He stirs as Caelus also abruptly moves in the corner of his eye, and sighs, abandoning the train of thought - perhaps for the better, really, it will only be later that he comes to realize how self-destructive it was getting - as he approaches. Alas, here and now, there's no more hiding he can do. "I did," he says in response to the question; the Trailblazer's voice doesn't sound entirely normal, and neither does his response.

He sits down beside the other, and lets the awkward silence hang over them for a moment, looking for a good way to break it. Ultimately, he decides that there probably isn't one.

Eventually, he sighs again, reluctantly glancing at the papers now lying beside the Trailblazer.

"Sorry for leaving this here. I didn't mean for anyone to read that. It's a… bad draft." As if that changes its contents or something. Almost as soon as the words leave his lips, he realizes just how childish they feel. Like knowing it's wrong, but trying to stick to it anyway.

But that's the only way he found to somehow try and make this situation his fault.

It takes a moment before he dares lift his eyes up at Caelus again.

"Do you… remember anything from the time you were in the memoria tide? How did it feel for you?" While it is something of an attempt to change topic, the question is genuine and doesn't come out forced, being born from true concern, but also curiosity. Dan Heng knows what he saw - or, well, he supposes they both know now, courtesy of his carelessness - but what about the Trailblazer himself?

[trailblczed]

HSR 3.6 Trailblaze Mission Spoilers

A frown tugs at his cheeks at the notion that Dan Heng didn't mean ( want? ) anyone to read it.. such a lengthy log with so much emotion hiding between the pen strokes, yet it was "a bad draft". The silver's mouth opens and swift snaps shut, unsure of what he could- or should- even say to that. It takes him several seconds to come up with something that he hopes isn't too.. overbearing.

❛ If this is just a draft I can't wait to see the final version. ❜

The Nameless offers in his round-about ( lighthearted and jokey ) way of trying to say that Caelus wants to read it.. wants to read about Dan Heng, wants to read about what Dan Heng had gone through- in detail- .. that Dan Heng doesn't have to shoulder everything on his own. But perhaps that's for later, when things aren't so.. raw, the apologetic smile on his face not reaching his eyes.

Amber eyes are pointedly sent skyward, seemingly enjoying watching the wind move through the leaves and the clouds slowly crawling across the fake sky. He doesn't want to answer Dan Heng's questions. ... not now, anyway. There's still too much to worry about- you know, end of the universe and all. God this script sucks. Can we hire a better writer? A nicer writer?

Taking a deep breath, Caelus forces his expression to remain as friendly and cheery as possible. Caelus lets his hand rest against his leg, finger tips ever so slightly digging in to his thigh- as if he's struggling to not dig into the muscle, as if doing so would be the only thing holding him together. He doesn't quite offer the log back to the raven, yet doesn't seem to want to let go of it just yet either- perhaps another tether to help his mind stay in ( what he hopes is ) reality.

❛ ... Yeah- Yeah, I do. Though.. some of what I remember might be wrong.. warped, I guess. Wouldn't be the first time I lost my memories, so no big deal. ❜

It is a big deal. Damnit- why did he even say that? Sure he kept it humorous, but that still doesn't-- Caelus can't say he remembers almost all of it. He can't say how he recalls the multitude of times where he had fallen for Evernight's tricks and gotten too comfortable with the illusions of his friends. He can't say how he recalled his life before the Express- how Kafka and Silverwolf had left him on Herta's Station for some vague reason ( that wasn't just "because the script says so" ), nor how that "memory" made him nostalgic for a life he doesn't remember.

❛ I can't really describe how it felt.. I suppose the closest comparison would be with Penacony's Dreamscape.. that faint floating sensation yet also feeling weighed down by some unknown force. It's nothing that hasn't happened before, don't worry about it. ❜

It had happened before, but was so, so much worse. They all knew Caelus had a bad reaction to Memoria- literally when they first got close enough to Penacony Caelus had gotten rattled and felt nearly ill, even walking up from a random memoria-induced "sleep" crying and breathless. C'mon, keep it together Galactic Baseballer! Don't you dare let your eyes get any more glossed over ( with the threat of tears )!

[trailblczed]

☆ spooky test to see who is the bravest

【 swirl commission ── belobog's mysterious back alley 】

[mrch7th]

wh—just throwing her to the wolves and not even trying to play at being a gentleman?! this is so not a ladies first kind of situation. not that she'll say that aloud, but the stink eye she shoots in his direction has to spell out the unamused seriously? well enough. fine, march can do this. march is a seasoned nameless, after all! this is nothing compared to everything she's already been through.

“think you can smooth things over with my ghost too if some weird doppleganger gets me?” she still grumbles anyway as she closes her fingers around the hilt of one of her swords, slowly creeping toward the fence. it'll be fine! nothing's gonna happen. the worst thing will probably just be some angry person wondering what on earth they're doing banging at their fence in the middle of the day. they can smooth that over no problem!

way too confident for how she's actually feeling, “okay, watch and learn!” she winds her arm up and—

      —BANG!

march jumps at the noise despite herself, her sword frantically waving between her and whatever might jump out at her as a loud clatter follows shortly after. a nearby stack of cans on the inside of the fence topple over, rolling all across the ground in every direction. but that's not what has the nameless' eyes going wide.

no, it's the figure that peers out at them, head abruptly appearing from behind the post that holds one end of the fence, that has her yelping and stumbling backward into caelus. “there's a person!” she hisses at him furiously under her breath, pushing him forward and ducking behind him. she hit the fence. she did her part. he can do the talking.

their new companion glances between the two of them warily for a second, but whatever he sees has his eyes going wide. and then, before march can even react, he's clutching at the bars of the fence and screaming for help.

they're definitely going to get thrown into jail again, march thinks despairingly.

[trailblczed]

Not that Caelus didn't believe in March's "detective skills", but he is genuinely caught off guard by the sudden and loud appearance of a mysterious person-- and now that person is screaming. Oooohhhh boy. There's no Silvermane Guards around, right? They won't get in trouble and labeled as criminals again--- right??

Something protective burns in his chest ( or maybe that's his heartbeat going haywire at the jumpscare [he hates horror movies] ) when March shuffles behind him ( ignoring the fact she's pushing him towards the pleading voice ), an arm partially moving out in a display of his typical defensive nature. He doesn't need to summon his lance.. yet. But the embers do tickle the tips of his fingers, as if waiting for permission to emerge.

"Please, you have to help me! There's something weird going on back here! Open the gate, open the gate!"

Comes the man's intense pleading, but the silver notes the rather calculating look in their eyes.. as if needing to read the situation as it went on to see if he needed to change tactics to get what he wants. While part of Caelus' heart feels for the man, as he wants to instinctively aid anyone asking for his help, something keeps telling him to not take what's before them at face value. A rare occurrence, even he agrees. Perhaps Dan Heng's scolding to be more careful has finally resonated with him.

❛ ..I'm going to need more details than that. What is going on? And.. how do you expect us to help you? What would we need to do? ❜

"People keep going missing when they get stuck back here for too long. I think one of those solider people have a key to this here gate. Nothing too difficult for such brave souls such as you two. Please, you have to hurry!"

Caelus notes how the man still hadn't gone into a whole lot of details aside from "missing people", turning his head until he can get a glimpse of March still perched behind his arm, amber eyes saying "you don't believe this either, do you?"

[trailblczed]

so....... you thought the new trip would be a fun adventure and ended up dead traumatized did you?

some tiny portrayal notes/updates now that ive completed the amphoreus arc and have gotten through 3.8- mostly involves ampho characters/the heirs [especially if intending to thread with caelus] but still rather important things in my wittle gremlin opinion

under spoiler warning for obvious reasons but-

wowie, so how 'bout that 3.7 story, huh?

not the biggest thing, but i will be going about any thread with the heirs assuming it is post-amphoreus and that herta(?) has managed to make the dream a reality and brought amphoreus and the heirs into reality. that said, caelus will also have the same general reaction when FIRST seeing any of the heirs after the ampho-arc, especially the FIRST FIRST heir he comes across (that isn't march or dan heng obv) and as much as i love torturing caelus, i don't want to do the same kind of "frozen in shock and bursts into tears" every single time/thread, so it will be assumed that such an event has already occurred/that any interaction with any of the heirs is not the first time he reunites with them- unless that it literally the point of the interaction (sideye emoji pspsps who wants to see him cry-- /shot)

with that out of the way, now to the real meat of things

a smaller but still important update will be that caelus had been in a relationship with firefly during his time with the stellaron hunters, and has obviously forgotten such after having lost all his memories and been found on the space station by the astral express. caelus never remembers, and firefly never intends to act on/bring back what once was.

after the events of amphoreus, caelus and dan heng are in a relationship- having come to terms with their own feelings in the aftermath and having to be forced to address them with the whole.. 1000 year search/entrapment.

while put into a small drabble (WARNING for suicidal themes present in the drabble), caelus is severely messed up after returning to the express once As I've Written has been completed. his ability to trust is stretched extremely thin and struggles to be on his own- not only finding it hard to distinguish what is real or still part of the memoria tide warping his mind (even messing with some of his memories), but also finds it hard to trust anyone new. he has to have someone he already knows and trusts with him if he has to meet strangers. once a social butterfly and easily taking commissions here and there- either to stave off boredom or to make some extra spending money- he now wont take those requests unless he has someone with him.

while not discussed with darcy at this point in time, caelus will have a bit of difficulty being around march- primarily/especially if she's in her heir outfit. he doesn't forgive evernight- and likely never will- but doesn't hold it against march- however they are times when he can't separate the two and feels like he has to hide from march so he doesn't do something to upset her by being avoidant. having been trapped in the memoria tide for so long by evernight, having his freedom gone and memories warped and perception of reality even further distorted when it was already shaky due to what had went down during their trip to penacony.

caelus already struggled to sleep before(thanks to penacony), but now he is even more uneasy about sleep. he either relives his entrapment, lives through memories he can't trust are real, learns new things from remembering/witnessing his life before as a stellaron hunter and not knowing how to process the information or how he feels about the revelation- it makes the desire to dream is extremely small. he had already thought himself odd enough as a synthetic specifically created to host a stellaron, now he finds out he had a whole other life- an entire other personality- before he even remembers waking for the first time gives him an even worse sense of self, practically thinking himself an imposter and doubting if he really is "caelus" or if he's just following elios' script (like he would have once upon a time)

not that i think it would be present in any threads(though there is always a chance obv), there might be references or mentions of caelus dissociating. once again pointing to my tiny drabble, there may be times where he just suddenly gets hit with a wave of "wait.. is this real? oh right, im still in the memoria tide. can't forget that." and just goes quiet and tries to distance himself, both mentally and physically. there will be times where he genuinely believes everything that happened after being found by dan heng after 1000 years was just part of "evernight's tricks" to lull him into not resisting her, and won't want anything to do with the "planted companions" (aka evernights jellyfish visions) that surround him. there may be times where he thinks it's all fake but can be snapped out of it somewhat quickly, depending on the situation and who is with him at the time. he is more likely to fall into the self-entrapment of whole-heartedly believing he's still in the tide if he is alone.

caelus' sense of time will also be extremely off. having the already wonky time shenanigans of amphoreus to the rest of the cosmos, to further having it warped because of the memoria tide's influences and effects on his psyche, he will often be late to anything that is planned and on a time schedule. he will also struggle to remember what day of the week/month/year it is. he doesn't admit this to anyone, but he wouldn't be surprised if people who know him well were to pick up on the fact that he is now extremely incapable of keeping time.

there may be more at a later date, but that is all for now. if there is anything else i will obviously make another post should it be significant enough. nodnod

[trailblczed]

☆ and then he turned into a catcake! funniest shit i've ever seen

【 harmony commission ── catcake adoption 】

[renascinem]

Caelus' enthusiasm is met with the kind of stone-faced stoicism Dan Heng usually offers him in response, though it is also easy to see that he pays full attention to the explanation - and gives no visual indication on what he thinks about some of the more... ridiculous-sounding parts.

"So they have their own... genetics, in a way," he translates his friend's cheerful banter into his own language. "They inherit the traits of their parents, so to speak, and also react to whatever variables they are forced to interact with, like a kind of adaptation." Crossing his arms, he throws Caelus a bit of a side-eye. "I have to question the idea of exposing them to mara-struck remains... unless you are certain it's safe and, uh, does them no harm."

Pause.

"They are living organisms, right?" He's heard, at least, that they can talk and everything, but at the same time, they're also referred to as cakes - so he is, admittedly, left not entirely sure how he feels.

... He supposes that hands-on practical experience, just like the Trailblazer suggests, would be a good way to learn more. In the face of the other's enthusiasm, he can only sigh.

"You know how to play me, don't you?" In spite of the words themselves, there's not a hint of annoyance or anything of the sort within them; perhaps once upon a time, there would have been, but Dan Heng has by now had plenty of time to get used and warm up to his friends' shenanigans - and he has indeed been doing just that, even if he has not been quite aware of the process occurring within him. It will only be much later that he realizes he reacted completely differently to how he would have done back when they first met.

Back then, he would have responded coldly to their attempts to pull them into such activities. Today, he only lets out a short, somewhat resigned laugh.

"Sure, let's see it then... What do we do first?"

[trailblczed]

❛ Exactly! I knew you'd get it, Mr. Genius of The Archives. Seeeee, how could I possibly add a document about the catcakes when you are faaarrr more qualified. ❜

Caelus hums behind his slight smirk, rather pleased with himself at "playing Dan Heng" like an instrument. The silver really does know him that well, huh.. to know what buttons to press or treats to dangle to get a positive response. ... Huh. Wonder what that hot feeling swirling in his chest is about- why did his heart skip a beat or two? Strange-- Oh well. More important things are at hand- or, in oven.

❛ I'm pretty sure they are living beings, as they need to snack every now and then.. and sleep. You know, the usual for existing. ❜

He gives the tiniest nod while simultaneously appearing a tad guilty- because Dan Heng did have a point about tossing some rather questionable ingredients in to get a new result. Caelus can't imagine how awful it would be if the catcakes actually contracted mara.. what kind of nightmare that would be.

❛ I mean, as far as I can tell there were no negative side effects to the parts inserted. Perhaps because it's such a small amount or piece of a defeated beast that it is like.. "nullified"? ❜

The Nameless offers his idea for a possible reason for why there wasn't anything wrong- that he had found as of now. It's the best, and really only, reason he can even think of as to why it worked the way it does. But, that's what Dan Heng is here for, right? To be the more technical science-y brains.

❛ The first step would be to pick out two parents to stand as the base for its genetics. You pick based on what traits you want- here, let me do one formula that I know will work. I've made a handful of them, so I know it's recipe off the top of my head. ❜

With as little grace as possible, Caelus shuffles up onto his knees before scooting along the tiled floor of the lab to approach two very specific catcakes. One of them has a lovely deep green shell, while the other has a clear black coat of fur. Each catcake emits a soft little mew as the silver picks them up- one in each hand. Then, he comes right back over to the Lifeform Oven and sets both down in the circular plate before swiftly pulling out a Leaf of Imaginary and similarly setting it down into the center of the contraption.

❛ Nooowww.. go ahead and push that button on the front that's flashing. ❜

Caelus' grin has returned to being rather smug- expectant and filled with amused anticipation as he can't wait to see how the raven reacts to the catcake that Caelus knows is going to come out.