I started this blog when I was recovering from the worst mental breakdown I've ever had, to see if this would give me the motivation I needed to get up of bed and focus on college.
I was a mess. In other people's eyes, social anxiety and depression symptomathology were hidden as bags under my eyes, but for me it was a reality, something I had to deal with on a daily basis. Absolutely hating who I was, my surroundings, my past and my future. How can one person socialize if they think this little about themselves? And it was very hard.
Social anxiety was ruining my life. Not only it was affecting my social circle, but also academically. Supervisors expect their students to show up frequently, and I really tried, but I failed more times than I can remember. I cried, i didn't want to do anything because I hated myself.
I'm better now, and looking back to those times, I'm sure one has to have a lot of strength to come out of such dark places. It's not an easy road, it has taken me more than 3 years, but I'm glad I decided to continue living and recover.
In this time, I've found love, which I know I deserve (still working on this though). I finished my master's degree, I will be doing a PhD, and let me tell you that in the interviews for this position I talked about my struggles with social anxiety, and how I am still overcoming it. I didn't have to hide that aspect of myself, and I still got it.
So for those of you fighting with mental health, you have my eternal respect. I hope you find inside yourself strength to overcome everything and live.
