The Salt Master

Currently unpublished author, they/he, asexual, happily in a relationship, mostly puns and memes

[trans-babadook]

There are neurotypicals and then there are Neurotypicals.

[atheismblog]

[poesdaughter]

Or, y’know, that thing called “Passover.”

[rose-strilonde]

Or the whole thing with Noah’s Ark where he killed off everything in the world except Noah and his family, and two of every animal. Y’know, no big deal. Just millions of people.

[fifty-shades-of-gandalf-the-grey]

90% of the Old Testament is about God killing people in temper tantrums

[pragnificent]

Are we not going to mention Jesus?

[gildatheplant]

Nailed it.

[carry-on-my-wayward-butt]

nu-wave capitalism trying to appeal to millennials like

[heterokatedison]

sometimes……….. shows that aren’t cancelled…………. are worse

[shampooligan]

give me every single embroidered bomber jacket

[madeinglobe]

more like give me every single jacket in the entire world? am I right??? 💯💯👌👌👌

[shampooligan]

onlyjacketposts i know im just now meeting you but i already feel like youre the only person on this site who understands me

[timmysoldblog]

[anodymalion]

a milkshake to summon the boys and a cold one to bind them

[trans-babadook]

Ace exclusionists will happily tell you that they don’t have a problem with “otherwise queer asexuals”, but the second an otherwise queer asexual mentions being asexual/the problems they have faced as a result, those same exclusionists suddenly forget it’s only “cishet aces” they have a problem with.

[mirdania]

In all the discourse about things boys do (crack open a cold one, come to the yard, are back in town) not once has someone mentioned the good old boys drinking whiskey and rye and singing “this’ll be the day that I die” and I will not stand for this good old boys erasure

[neonharms]

asexuals who pick on hypersexuals for their disorder:

hypersexuals who pick on asexuals for their sexuality:

asexuals and hypersexuals respecting each other mutually:

hypersexual aces:

[paper-backstab]

the smell of Home Depot is cathartic

[paper-backstab]

fairies live in the lights & chandeliers section, gnomes live in the outdoor gardening department

[kuboe-deactivated20231023-deact]

Stop romanticizing home depot

[paper-backstab]

pixies live in the paint aisle. fuck you

[tommyholland]

when you meet someone with the same name as you

[cobaltdays-deactivated20210208]

If your throat is a thrussy, what is an adam's apple?

your thresticle

[bussy-warlock]

Hell is empty and all the devils are here - William Shakespeare

[boredomgalaxy]

[sacred-portal]

[panic-compressive]

[tastefullyoffensive]

When a camera’s shutter speed is in sync with a bird’s flutter speed. (via zombieborscht)

[trans-babadook]

Girlfriend: Are you dissociating?

Me, five minutes later: Bitch I might be.