Hey Iām Micah! I make art and comics and Iām trans so I thought why not make a blog specifically for that! Iām making trans related comics about my life and I may even take suggestions or submissions from all of you! I also do name day Monday where Iāll look at submissions and asks about what name you should pick since Iām so bad at sticking with my own names I know a LOT of names! This is a positive blog, not a debate blog, and I donāt tolerate hate from anyone on any topic. If you want to hate please take it else where for this is a place where people can feel good about themselves. He/him trans masculine/questioning (again)
I know itās been a bit and I havenāt upstate in a LONG time it feels like, but Iām back for now! I have a couple comics I definitely want to make and then, as you saw in the post, I have a top surgery date now! So Iāll definitely be making comics about how that goes!
Look out for lots of comics around November 15th!
I have enough money for the surgery itself (I hope anyway!) but getting supplies for after is another story. I made a list on Amazon of things Iād need afterwards and to get everything on the list would be something like $400! Thatās like a MONTH of my pay!
If youāre interested in helping out, I made it a wishlist if youād like to pick something off of it!
The only things I feel is a bit much is I put a lot of button ups on the list when I can just keep re-using the same couple of shirts if need be, so those are less necessary!
But! Plenty of time for me to get those things, I have 1 month at 20 some days left before my surgery date!
Iād love to thank all of you for supporting my comics and sticking around through the rough patches!
And thank you to those of you who already helped fund my top surgery as well! While I didnāt reach my goal with the go fund me, the stimulus checks helped fill in the gap!
My top surgery consult is today! In an hour Iām leaving for it! Help hype me up while Iām gone because Iām bringing my unsupportive mom with!!!š
Hey, does anyone have any info on trans masc people having vocal masculinization surgery or vocal fold injections for voice deepening pre-T?
If you do, please DM me with it!
ā¬ļøMore in depth info belowā¬ļø
Iām what Iād consider to be an āoff colorā trans guy. Iām basically ftm but just slightly different. I use he/him pronouns, Iām working on getting top surgery, and Iāve gone back and forth for years on weather I want to go on testosterone.
I donāt know why but hormones just freak me out a bit. Iām nervous about it causing sensory issues with things like bottom growth, different smells, and more sweat, etc. But thereās so much about it that Iād want.
The main thing is a voice drop. I became self conscious about my voice when I was around 13 years old and now it makes me somewhat dysphoric and is a huge part of me getting misgendered.
Since Iām still iffy on the idea of hrt, I looked into other ways to deepen your voice. The most conservative way would be vocal training but that includes essentially changing how you talk, not just making your voice deeper. I donāt want to change who I am, I want to become more me. If I purposely change how I talk, it feels like Iām trying to fake being someone else.
Next would be the injection which from what I can tell lasts only a few months? And I havenāt seen anything for pre-T trans guys.
Lastly is a masculinization surgery but again, no info for pre-T trans guys.
So with all that being said, any help is extremely appreciated!
I know I can't know exactly what you are going through, but I will say that everybody has gained weight since 2019 because they can't do as many things as they used to do thanks to the pandemic. Of course, "everybody is going through something" isn't reassuring for everybody, I get that. I am very proud of you for making changes that make you feel more confident in yourself. <3
Thank you so much!
Itās kind of difficult because I was a competitive gymnast for 9 years up until that point. I trained for 12+ hours a week and it was a huge change. Then practice started up again and I was having ankle issues which lead to me being in a boot for a while. Eventually I came back and got a concussion. š¤¦š½ I ended up deciding to be done with gymnastics after being in it for 10 years.
Now Iām just trying to work out on my own and itās not quite the same. Itās enough though. Just eating better foods and stuff along with that. (Less McDonaldās if you know what Iām saying lol.)
Everyone is having a rough time right now and I know that. Some people are more unfortunate than I am too. I just got unlucky enough that all those things collided at the same time.š¤·š½
But thank you so much again, you really are too kind!
And I hope every one else can get to a good point with themselves soon too.
Iāve been trying really hard to get to a point where I donāt have to worry about what Iām wearing in order to feel good. A point where it doesnāt have to be a hoodie and a binder. A point where tight clothes donāt have me second guessing.
And that goes for my weight too. My weight hasnāt ever been a huge issue but I still feel a little self conscious when I notice my stomach in a more fitted shirt or a few months ago when I compared a picture from 2019 to then of my back.
I remembered seeing that picture and feeling so good because I just knew that with top surgery and possibly testosterone, Iād look and feel so masculine. Then a few months ago I saw my back and I definitely didnāt feel the same way.
Iāve been working out and when I looked the other day, I was pleasantly surprised. I got some broad shoulders from gymnastics (which most people hate coming out of the sport but Iām so thankful for it.) and it really made me feel good.
I wanted to make an edit to the photo I took, just to make it look more artsy. I hope youāll like it as much as I did. I didnāt edit my body at all, just some blurring if the background, the lines, and a rosy filter over top.
Iām still working on myself, both mentally and physically but I think this is a pretty good start.
Update: I tried talking to my mom again and itās still bad. I feel like screaming. I donāt want her not being supportive to be the reason I canāt get a letter for surgery.
I have my first gender therapy appointment tomorrow at 10 am! Iām a little nervous and I both hope she gives the okay for surgery right away and DONT hope she does that. Solely because my mom wants them to take more time āassessing meā.
I just know the surgeon has a huge waitlist for just getting a consult, I donāt want to delay the process anymore.
Quick warning! I did NOT work out in my binder, do NOT work out in a binder!!!
I watched a video the other day saying that you should be working on your chest for at least a year before top surgery. I donāt think you HAVE to do that but since I already work out I thought it wouldnāt be bad to add it into my routine.
Turns out my conditioning must not have been hitting my chest at ALL because my chest was and has been super sore for the past like 3 days. It just makes me kind of giddy though to think: ādamn! This is going to make my chest look so good after top surgery!ā
Since this comic was such a short one I wanted to add in the time lapse of me making it! I have time lapses of all my recent comics so let me know if thatās something youāre interested in seeing more often!
Also let me know if youād be interested in seeing my work out routine! (In comic form or otherwise!)
Yes I do actually sit like that, itās not just because I suck at drawing poses.
Ummm, so update I guess? Iāve been looking almost nonstop for a therapist who can write me a letter for top surgery and is ALSO in my insurance network and I finally found one!
When I got a call back she said that as long as everything seems good and there are no other big issues that would interfere with surgery or my mental state in addition to surgery, one or two sessions is all sheād need! Iām hoping that nothing weird comes up though that would make it take too much longer.
Iāll be a totally open book if she needs me to be so I can have top surgery.
The only issue is that I let my mom know since sheās helping pay for therapy and she was... letās just say less than enthusiastic about it.
She says things like āI think they need more time to decide than that!ā And āThey should be trying other things like coping mechanisms before surgery. That should be a last resort!ā She acts like she knows more or better than this literal medical professional who specializes in gender therapy. She also thinks that therapy can make me not dysphoric anymore? Which, no? It can help me deal for the short term but itās not going to make my dysphoria go away.
Iāve been dealing with this on my own for 4 years. I think Iāve done a good job not doing the sewer slide so Iām thinking I wonāt have a whole lot of coping mechanisms to learn and Iāll just be sent on my way essentially. (Not really but I mean I donāt think itāll take more than 2 sessions for a letter at this point)
And honestly? You know what would help my dysphoria a lot? Not being told Iām a girl and being referred to by my old name and pronouns... yeah, thatās help out a lot. Too bad nobody will do THAT!
Anyway, before this turns into too long of a rant, letās recap.
Step 1: get a therapist ā
Step 2: get a surgery letterš
Step 3: schedule surgery consultš
Step 4: schedule surgery dateš
Step 5: profit! (teet yeet!)š
I am getting a little nervous about all the transphobic bills being passed about younger people transitioning. Iām 19 but I heard about one that would ban it for anyone under 21 in some state. I donāt know how all of those will play out or if any will come to my state but Iām just hoping at the VERY least that I can get my top surgery in before anything like that reaches me. Best case scenario, NONE of the bills get passed and/or they get repealed.
I do, in fact, want to make less depressing content but itās going to have to wait.
I used to think āI donāt care how long it takes, Iām going to save all my money so I can have top surgery with dr Garramoneā then I had to wait. And wait. And wait.
And then I thought āIām going to save up some money as fast as possible and have top surgery with dr Wolf!ā And then I had to wait. And wait. And wait.
THEN I thought āokay, I donāt know how much longer I can wait... maybe Iāll see if I can get insurance to cover it? Maybe get surgery by someone closer to me? So less travel funds...ā
Then I found out about dr Gast. Not my first, second or third choice but sheās good enough, takes my insurance and has payment plans just in case as well. Now all I need to do is find a therapist who can write a referral letter. It shouldnāt be too hard since I was already diagnosed with gender dysphoria years ago.
Iām getting pretty desperate and when I found out that if I can use my momās insurance, I could get top surgery MUCH sooner without having to save up as much money.
Iāve been bringing stuff up every now and then with her and sheās seeming to just get sad rather than mad now when I talk about this kind of stuff.
Iām going to try and talk with her asap about just therapy at first and maybe once thats a thing, I can work my way to talking about having surgery with her insurance.
Anyway, wish me luck. Iāll update how it goes eventually. Iām hoping to talk to her between now and Thursday.
This took me WAY too long to do! Not because it was hard, I just procrastinated way too much.
Anyway, this is a sort of gift for one of my followers. They recently came out as non-binary at a higher level of life than the norm and I wanted to make something to help them out on that journey! Hereās to you @marzipannetta !
I made two versions, one with the trans pride flag and one with the non-binary pride flag. I thought about doing more but I thought this was a good start.
I strongly believe that it does NOT matter what age you come out at, be it 5 or 65! It takes everyone a different amount of time to figure themselves out and your age should not and does not confine your gender to the one you were assigned at birth or anything else.
My friend said that they didnāt see a whole lot of content for older people coming out and that just sucks. Hopefully in my content later on I can include some older people more often.
Anywho, thatās about it! Thanks for reading!
If you feel like you want to use these as things like profile pictures, Iād say go for it! The only condition is that you credit me for the art. If you donāt want to do that then you do NOT have permission to use my art.
I usually do not allow people to use my art as anything but I feel like these are a special case.
I also have square versions of these. Message me if you want to use those instead!
It may be easier to act the way other people want me to, but itās better to be myself than to act like someone Iām not. I am feminine, I do like cute and āgirlyā things. Iām still trans though. you can look like anything and be a trans guy so why not look a way that makes me happy? This comic may not be super comprehensive just because this is all a bunch of feelings Iāve had lately and itās hard to put into words well. The main point of this is to kind of combat the idea that feminine trans guys are not real trans guys. Like maybe dressing in a more feminine way but still passing is alright but if you wear dresses then noooooo wayyyy. Iām basically here to say: I love feminine things and Iām still a valid trans person and so are you. Yes, I do want to be seen as a guy but Iām not going to compromise who I am so that people who donāt respect me will begrudgingly call me Parker. This also is a little bit messing with my want to be on T. I still want to be cute but I feel like T will take that away and thatās scary. I know for a fact at some point in my live I will go on T since I honestly canāt see myself living pre T for the rest of my life, but since Iām scared Iāll feel like a different person almost I donāt know when. Anyways, I actually named the comic after tucutes because thatās what most people would assume I am. I donāt really think Iām on either side of the debate here, I just want everyone to get along. I hope you enjoyed this comic, sorry for the style shifting through it it, it took me a while to get the motivation to keep going here and there. The next comic will be going back to the other style unless people like this one better! Thanks for reading, love you all!ššø -ParkerāØ(Edit: I realize I didnāt say in this text portion, I do have diagnosed dysphoria, I didnāt think I needed it here but apparently I do.)āØ(Edit no.2: those arenāt all only things transmeds have said to me. Itās a mix of that, what other peopleās experiences are, and things Iāve thought to myself. This isnāt about other people, itās fully and only about how I feel. Hate towards anyone for any reason is super uncool guys. Unless theyāve literally killed someone with their bare hands, lets be nice)
āāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāāā
(8/19/19) BIG OLā EDIT HERE!: Iām going by Micah now and I feel like itās important to put on this post because Iām still getting a lot of reblogs and comments on it and if people choose to use my name on them I want them to be able to know and use my current name. (Which I fucking love btw and I absolutely would love seeing it some more hint hint.)
I donāt often reblog posts like this, not because I donāt support the LGBTQ+ (as a matter of fact, I am a member of it) but more because if I did for every single post that crosses my dash, then Iād be drowning in them and I donāt want numerous blogs.
However, it is disturbing to see just how bad our community has gotten over policing our individual corresponding letters. We, as a community, should be far more aware that sexual identification, gender identification, biological sex, emotional sex ect ect are NOT firmly this OR that. The definitions, much like the subject matter, are loose guidelines to help us figure out who we are not strict rules that admit us into a club!
All forms of sexuality, in all its many sub-catagories are a spectrum. And you can find your own individual sexuality and gender wandering and straying into many catagories.
Just because someone is trans male but finds that they still feel feminine and feels comfortable with typically āgirlyā aspects, does not make that person any less male! We are aware that feminine men are found all across the scale from het through gay? Right? We, as a persecuted community, constantly saying that gendering clothes and toys and colours is stupid, exclusionary and a tad homophobic, right? We are aware that historically skirts and pink and wigs and make up and high heels used to be assigned to both men and women, right?
So how about, instead of persecuting people like the OP for being a trans boy who likes cute things we say, āHey, Micah. We see you. We hear you. You are a valid human being, worthy of love and we support you in being comfortable being who you are. You want to dress in cute things? Do it. Make yourself happy, you have people behind you saying you are so god damned fucking cute and I would feed someone their own face if they demoralize you!ā
Letās stop fucking gatekeeping and kicking people down! Everyone in this hell-hole of a world just wants to feel validated and no-one has the right to try and force anyoneās square peg of an identity into our own round holes of definition.
TLDR: Micah youāre a precious little bean, be cute and colourful if that makes you happy. I will set this whole damned world on fire to defend your right to be you and be comfortable because fuck the ignorant cock-munching gatekeeping ass-hats for their sullied brains and hearts
Oh my! This is such a great addition to this post! I do get mega anxiety when this post gets a lot of attention over again because it was so harsh the first time through but some reblogs deserve more attention too!
Thank you so much for your kind and informative words!
Hi, I just wanted to say, im a trans guy, and I read your comic about being cute and stuff and it made me cry because I feel what you feel so thank you.
Oh! Iām so glad you liked it! Iām also glad that I could make something others could relate to! I hope itās all good tears over there!
Edit: Let me preface this real quick! Iām going into sewing as a career! I know what Iām doing and I know to do lots of research and testing before I go and throw together some fabric and take a nap in it. I appreciate the concern you may have but I just want to head it off before every comment on here is ādonāt do that! Be careful!ā
Also let me say this here: when I say āsports binderā itās because I donāt like calling it a bra. It makes me dysphoric. But since my other warning is at the bottom I donāt know if people are going to see it. This will not be a binder Iām creating.
Just a quick one page comic! I accidentally used the wrong pen on this one so itās a little off but oh well.
Iāve been looking for literally anything that will sort of bind my chest without being a binder so that Iām less dysphoric 24/7 but itās been real hard. Iām not a huge dude or anything but my chest is definitely big for how small my body is. It would be tough for a cis girl to find bra that fit her with a chest like mine, let alone a trans guy looking for a flattening sports binder*!
Iāve tried so many things and Iām only trying one or two more things but Iām pretty sure Iām just going to have to engineer and make my own sports binder. I just canāt find anything that works for me.
Iām trying an outplay sports binder next and if that fails Iāll tra this thing called a ācheetah trotterā thatās meant for things like horseback riding. I will say Iāve tried an enell sports binder that was advertised as saying āif youāre looking into a reduction try this first!ā And Iāve got to say, it did not live up to the reviews.š
But oh well! Iām probably just going to make my own! High neckline because my chest starts high up and having any of it exposed makes me dysphoric, full coverage to the sides, open back so I can feel a shirt on my back for once! And just binding enough that I donāt have to layer sports binders but not as much as a regular chest binder so I can sleep in it and stuff.
Anywho, I think thatās it. I just wanted to make a silly comic as an excuse to mention that Iām going to make my own sports binder if I canāt find anything else that works.
Thanks for reading!
-Micah
*using āsports binderā instead of āsports braā because calling things I use and talk about often ābrasā is starting to make me dysphoric.
Raising money for my top surgery so I can live a better life.ā¦ Eden Fillyaw needs your support for Micahās top surgery fund
Iām making a gofundme me for my top surgery fund! Iām hoping to have giveaways and possibly live streams to save up! The goal right now is $3,000 but depending on how things go I may have to save up over double that.
The surgeon I want is about $6,000 but Iām starting to think I wonāt last long enough to save up that much and I just need to find a dr who takes insurance. Though my mom already said she doesnāt want me transitioning under her insurance but tbh idk if she could kick me off fast enough to stop me if I was paying for the rest of it.
Share if you can as that helps a lot!
Thatās all the important info so if youāre board, go ahead and move on. Below Iām going to explain my situation.
So I live at home with my parents, both of which are christan people who believe being trans is wrong. They change the reason why they think itās wrong a lot but I think the main thing is because they think itās from the devil.
I am also a christian. A trans gender, asexual, panromantic Christian. I live in the Midwest where thereās not a ton of accepting people around me so dysphoria just kind of runs rampant on my life.
I just recently got a very part time job back from the lockdown and because I wasnāt making enough money before I didnāt get any stimulus check. Iāll literally be making less than $60 a week and I donāt know how much Iāll be able to work extra because I currently have a concussion.
I wanted to try and stay in gymnastics all the way up until I had surgery but I donāt think Iāll be able to do that. If my concussion doesnāt get better I may have to quit anyway. If I do I can try and work more but thereās still the issue of the concussion.
Right now I have a total of $55 saved up and set aside for top surgery. Not much but itās something. I canāt drive and I donāt have a car anyway so getting to jobs will be a hassle and I may have to save for a car alongside top surgery.
As an autistic person it can get really overwhelming and hard to work with people too much and my job right now is literally to make sure the worst of the worst kids follow rules in a basketball gym. Thatās a lot of people-ing if you ask me (lol). Point is, I definitely canāt do this job very often or for forever.
Iāll be looking into other job options but at the very least it could help me loads if people could share this around and donate if you can or feel like it. Even the tiniest bit helps. If I get enough money for top surgery before Iām done with gymnastics Iām quitting. Those people are almost all very unaccepting so itāll feel nice to say Iām quitting to go be my true self, donāt you think?
Anyway, thank you for reading through my giant rant, youāre all precious!
Hey! Iām currently looking into different options for top surgery as Iām thinking I wonāt be able to wait as long as I thought I would.
Anyone have any recommendations for top surgeons who take insurance, and do online consults? Iām doing some research myself but hearing who other people think is good would help too!
I originally wanted to go to dr kennith wolf but I donāt think I can wait long enough to save enough for that since he doesnāt accept insurance. If anyone knows something different about that dr in particular that would help me get top surgery faster thatād help a lot!
If you recommend someone, preferably theyād have worked on people who werenāt on T yet (and will do no nipple graphs since they never look good enough for me.) I can wait for testosterone but not top surgery.
