Hey I’m Micah! I make art and comics and I’m trans so I thought why not make a blog specifically for that! I’m making trans related comics about my life and I may even take suggestions or submissions from all of you! I also do name day Monday where I’ll look at submissions and asks about what name you should pick since I’m so bad at sticking with my own names I know a LOT of names! This is a positive blog, not a debate blog, and I don’t tolerate hate from anyone on any topic. If you want to hate please take it else where for this is a place where people can feel good about themselves. He/him trans masculine/questioning (again)
I know it’s been a bit and I haven’t upstate in a LONG time it feels like, but I’m back for now! I have a couple comics I definitely want to make and then, as you saw in the post, I have a top surgery date now! So I’ll definitely be making comics about how that goes!
Look out for lots of comics around November 15th!
I have enough money for the surgery itself (I hope anyway!) but getting supplies for after is another story. I made a list on Amazon of things I’d need afterwards and to get everything on the list would be something like $400! That’s like a MONTH of my pay!
If you’re interested in helping out, I made it a wishlist if you’d like to pick something off of it!
The only things I feel is a bit much is I put a lot of button ups on the list when I can just keep re-using the same couple of shirts if need be, so those are less necessary!
But! Plenty of time for me to get those things, I have 1 month at 20 some days left before my surgery date!
I’d love to thank all of you for supporting my comics and sticking around through the rough patches!
And thank you to those of you who already helped fund my top surgery as well! While I didn’t reach my goal with the go fund me, the stimulus checks helped fill in the gap!
Hey, does anyone have any info on trans masc people having vocal masculinization surgery or vocal fold injections for voice deepening pre-T?
If you do, please DM me with it!
⬇️More in depth info below⬇️
I’m what I’d consider to be an “off color” trans guy. I’m basically ftm but just slightly different. I use he/him pronouns, I’m working on getting top surgery, and I’ve gone back and forth for years on weather I want to go on testosterone.
I don’t know why but hormones just freak me out a bit. I’m nervous about it causing sensory issues with things like bottom growth, different smells, and more sweat, etc. But there’s so much about it that I’d want.
The main thing is a voice drop. I became self conscious about my voice when I was around 13 years old and now it makes me somewhat dysphoric and is a huge part of me getting misgendered.
Since I’m still iffy on the idea of hrt, I looked into other ways to deepen your voice. The most conservative way would be vocal training but that includes essentially changing how you talk, not just making your voice deeper. I don’t want to change who I am, I want to become more me. If I purposely change how I talk, it feels like I’m trying to fake being someone else.
Next would be the injection which from what I can tell lasts only a few months? And I haven’t seen anything for pre-T trans guys.
Lastly is a masculinization surgery but again, no info for pre-T trans guys.
So with all that being said, any help is extremely appreciated!
I know I can't know exactly what you are going through, but I will say that everybody has gained weight since 2019 because they can't do as many things as they used to do thanks to the pandemic. Of course, "everybody is going through something" isn't reassuring for everybody, I get that. I am very proud of you for making changes that make you feel more confident in yourself. <3
Thank you so much!
It’s kind of difficult because I was a competitive gymnast for 9 years up until that point. I trained for 12+ hours a week and it was a huge change. Then practice started up again and I was having ankle issues which lead to me being in a boot for a while. Eventually I came back and got a concussion. 🤦🏽 I ended up deciding to be done with gymnastics after being in it for 10 years.
Now I’m just trying to work out on my own and it’s not quite the same. It’s enough though. Just eating better foods and stuff along with that. (Less McDonald’s if you know what I’m saying lol.)
Everyone is having a rough time right now and I know that. Some people are more unfortunate than I am too. I just got unlucky enough that all those things collided at the same time.🤷🏽
But thank you so much again, you really are too kind!
And I hope every one else can get to a good point with themselves soon too.
I’ve been trying really hard to get to a point where I don’t have to worry about what I’m wearing in order to feel good. A point where it doesn’t have to be a hoodie and a binder. A point where tight clothes don’t have me second guessing.
And that goes for my weight too. My weight hasn’t ever been a huge issue but I still feel a little self conscious when I notice my stomach in a more fitted shirt or a few months ago when I compared a picture from 2019 to then of my back.
I remembered seeing that picture and feeling so good because I just knew that with top surgery and possibly testosterone, I’d look and feel so masculine. Then a few months ago I saw my back and I definitely didn’t feel the same way.
I’ve been working out and when I looked the other day, I was pleasantly surprised. I got some broad shoulders from gymnastics (which most people hate coming out of the sport but I’m so thankful for it.) and it really made me feel good.
I wanted to make an edit to the photo I took, just to make it look more artsy. I hope you’ll like it as much as I did. I didn’t edit my body at all, just some blurring if the background, the lines, and a rosy filter over top.
I’m still working on myself, both mentally and physically but I think this is a pretty good start.
Update: I tried talking to my mom again and it’s still bad. I feel like screaming. I don’t want her not being supportive to be the reason I can’t get a letter for surgery.
I have my first gender therapy appointment tomorrow at 10 am! I’m a little nervous and I both hope she gives the okay for surgery right away and DONT hope she does that. Solely because my mom wants them to take more time “assessing me”.
I just know the surgeon has a huge waitlist for just getting a consult, I don’t want to delay the process anymore.
Quick warning! I did NOT work out in my binder, do NOT work out in a binder!!!
I watched a video the other day saying that you should be working on your chest for at least a year before top surgery. I don’t think you HAVE to do that but since I already work out I thought it wouldn’t be bad to add it into my routine.
Turns out my conditioning must not have been hitting my chest at ALL because my chest was and has been super sore for the past like 3 days. It just makes me kind of giddy though to think: “damn! This is going to make my chest look so good after top surgery!”
Since this comic was such a short one I wanted to add in the time lapse of me making it! I have time lapses of all my recent comics so let me know if that’s something you’re interested in seeing more often!
Also let me know if you’d be interested in seeing my work out routine! (In comic form or otherwise!)
Yes I do actually sit like that, it’s not just because I suck at drawing poses.
Ummm, so update I guess? I’ve been looking almost nonstop for a therapist who can write me a letter for top surgery and is ALSO in my insurance network and I finally found one!
When I got a call back she said that as long as everything seems good and there are no other big issues that would interfere with surgery or my mental state in addition to surgery, one or two sessions is all she’d need! I’m hoping that nothing weird comes up though that would make it take too much longer.
I’ll be a totally open book if she needs me to be so I can have top surgery.
The only issue is that I let my mom know since she’s helping pay for therapy and she was... let’s just say less than enthusiastic about it.
She says things like “I think they need more time to decide than that!” And “They should be trying other things like coping mechanisms before surgery. That should be a last resort!” She acts like she knows more or better than this literal medical professional who specializes in gender therapy. She also thinks that therapy can make me not dysphoric anymore? Which, no? It can help me deal for the short term but it’s not going to make my dysphoria go away.
I’ve been dealing with this on my own for 4 years. I think I’ve done a good job not doing the sewer slide so I’m thinking I won’t have a whole lot of coping mechanisms to learn and I’ll just be sent on my way essentially. (Not really but I mean I don’t think it’ll take more than 2 sessions for a letter at this point)
And honestly? You know what would help my dysphoria a lot? Not being told I’m a girl and being referred to by my old name and pronouns... yeah, that’s help out a lot. Too bad nobody will do THAT!
Anyway, before this turns into too long of a rant, let’s recap.
Step 1: get a therapist ✅
Step 2: get a surgery letter🔜
Step 3: schedule surgery consult🔄
Step 4: schedule surgery date🔄
Step 5: profit! (teet yeet!)🔄
I am getting a little nervous about all the transphobic bills being passed about younger people transitioning. I’m 19 but I heard about one that would ban it for anyone under 21 in some state. I don’t know how all of those will play out or if any will come to my state but I’m just hoping at the VERY least that I can get my top surgery in before anything like that reaches me. Best case scenario, NONE of the bills get passed and/or they get repealed.
I do, in fact, want to make less depressing content but it’s going to have to wait.
I used to think “I don’t care how long it takes, I’m going to save all my money so I can have top surgery with dr Garramone” then I had to wait. And wait. And wait.
And then I thought “I’m going to save up some money as fast as possible and have top surgery with dr Wolf!” And then I had to wait. And wait. And wait.
THEN I thought “okay, I don’t know how much longer I can wait... maybe I’ll see if I can get insurance to cover it? Maybe get surgery by someone closer to me? So less travel funds...”
Then I found out about dr Gast. Not my first, second or third choice but she’s good enough, takes my insurance and has payment plans just in case as well. Now all I need to do is find a therapist who can write a referral letter. It shouldn’t be too hard since I was already diagnosed with gender dysphoria years ago.
I’m getting pretty desperate and when I found out that if I can use my mom’s insurance, I could get top surgery MUCH sooner without having to save up as much money.
I’ve been bringing stuff up every now and then with her and she’s seeming to just get sad rather than mad now when I talk about this kind of stuff.
I’m going to try and talk with her asap about just therapy at first and maybe once thats a thing, I can work my way to talking about having surgery with her insurance.
Anyway, wish me luck. I’ll update how it goes eventually. I’m hoping to talk to her between now and Thursday.
This took me WAY too long to do! Not because it was hard, I just procrastinated way too much.
Anyway, this is a sort of gift for one of my followers. They recently came out as non-binary at a higher level of life than the norm and I wanted to make something to help them out on that journey! Here’s to you @marzipannetta !
I made two versions, one with the trans pride flag and one with the non-binary pride flag. I thought about doing more but I thought this was a good start.
I strongly believe that it does NOT matter what age you come out at, be it 5 or 65! It takes everyone a different amount of time to figure themselves out and your age should not and does not confine your gender to the one you were assigned at birth or anything else.
My friend said that they didn’t see a whole lot of content for older people coming out and that just sucks. Hopefully in my content later on I can include some older people more often.
Anywho, that’s about it! Thanks for reading!
If you feel like you want to use these as things like profile pictures, I’d say go for it! The only condition is that you credit me for the art. If you don’t want to do that then you do NOT have permission to use my art.
I usually do not allow people to use my art as anything but I feel like these are a special case.
I also have square versions of these. Message me if you want to use those instead!
It may be easier to act the way other people want me to, but it’s better to be myself than to act like someone I’m not. I am feminine, I do like cute and “girly” things. I’m still trans though. you can look like anything and be a trans guy so why not look a way that makes me happy? This comic may not be super comprehensive just because this is all a bunch of feelings I’ve had lately and it’s hard to put into words well. The main point of this is to kind of combat the idea that feminine trans guys are not real trans guys. Like maybe dressing in a more feminine way but still passing is alright but if you wear dresses then noooooo wayyyy. I’m basically here to say: I love feminine things and I’m still a valid trans person and so are you. Yes, I do want to be seen as a guy but I’m not going to compromise who I am so that people who don’t respect me will begrudgingly call me Parker. This also is a little bit messing with my want to be on T. I still want to be cute but I feel like T will take that away and that’s scary. I know for a fact at some point in my live I will go on T since I honestly can’t see myself living pre T for the rest of my life, but since I’m scared I’ll feel like a different person almost I don’t know when. Anyways, I actually named the comic after tucutes because that’s what most people would assume I am. I don’t really think I’m on either side of the debate here, I just want everyone to get along. I hope you enjoyed this comic, sorry for the style shifting through it it, it took me a while to get the motivation to keep going here and there. The next comic will be going back to the other style unless people like this one better! Thanks for reading, love you all!💜🌸 -Parker (Edit: I realize I didn’t say in this text portion, I do have diagnosed dysphoria, I didn’t think I needed it here but apparently I do.) (Edit no.2: those aren’t all only things transmeds have said to me. It’s a mix of that, what other people’s experiences are, and things I’ve thought to myself. This isn’t about other people, it’s fully and only about how I feel. Hate towards anyone for any reason is super uncool guys. Unless they’ve literally killed someone with their bare hands, lets be nice)
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(8/19/19) BIG OL’ EDIT HERE!: I’m going by Micah now and I feel like it’s important to put on this post because I’m still getting a lot of reblogs and comments on it and if people choose to use my name on them I want them to be able to know and use my current name. (Which I fucking love btw and I absolutely would love seeing it some more hint hint.)
I don’t often reblog posts like this, not because I don’t support the LGBTQ+ (as a matter of fact, I am a member of it) but more because if I did for every single post that crosses my dash, then I’d be drowning in them and I don’t want numerous blogs.
However, it is disturbing to see just how bad our community has gotten over policing our individual corresponding letters. We, as a community, should be far more aware that sexual identification, gender identification, biological sex, emotional sex ect ect are NOT firmly this OR that. The definitions, much like the subject matter, are loose guidelines to help us figure out who we are not strict rules that admit us into a club!
All forms of sexuality, in all its many sub-catagories are a spectrum. And you can find your own individual sexuality and gender wandering and straying into many catagories.
Just because someone is trans male but finds that they still feel feminine and feels comfortable with typically “girly” aspects, does not make that person any less male! We are aware that feminine men are found all across the scale from het through gay? Right? We, as a persecuted community, constantly saying that gendering clothes and toys and colours is stupid, exclusionary and a tad homophobic, right? We are aware that historically skirts and pink and wigs and make up and high heels used to be assigned to both men and women, right?
So how about, instead of persecuting people like the OP for being a trans boy who likes cute things we say, “Hey, Micah. We see you. We hear you. You are a valid human being, worthy of love and we support you in being comfortable being who you are. You want to dress in cute things? Do it. Make yourself happy, you have people behind you saying you are so god damned fucking cute and I would feed someone their own face if they demoralize you!”
Let’s stop fucking gatekeeping and kicking people down! Everyone in this hell-hole of a world just wants to feel validated and no-one has the right to try and force anyone’s square peg of an identity into our own round holes of definition.
TLDR: Micah you’re a precious little bean, be cute and colourful if that makes you happy. I will set this whole damned world on fire to defend your right to be you and be comfortable because fuck the ignorant cock-munching gatekeeping ass-hats for their sullied brains and hearts
Oh my! This is such a great addition to this post! I do get mega anxiety when this post gets a lot of attention over again because it was so harsh the first time through but some reblogs deserve more attention too!
Thank you so much for your kind and informative words!
Hi, I just wanted to say, im a trans guy, and I read your comic about being cute and stuff and it made me cry because I feel what you feel so thank you.
Oh! I’m so glad you liked it! I’m also glad that I could make something others could relate to! I hope it’s all good tears over there!
Edit: Let me preface this real quick! I’m going into sewing as a career! I know what I’m doing and I know to do lots of research and testing before I go and throw together some fabric and take a nap in it. I appreciate the concern you may have but I just want to head it off before every comment on here is “don’t do that! Be careful!”
Also let me say this here: when I say “sports binder” it’s because I don’t like calling it a bra. It makes me dysphoric. But since my other warning is at the bottom I don’t know if people are going to see it. This will not be a binder I’m creating.
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Just a quick one page comic! I accidentally used the wrong pen on this one so it’s a little off but oh well.
I’ve been looking for literally anything that will sort of bind my chest without being a binder so that I’m less dysphoric 24/7 but it’s been real hard. I’m not a huge dude or anything but my chest is definitely big for how small my body is. It would be tough for a cis girl to find bra that fit her with a chest like mine, let alone a trans guy looking for a flattening sports binder*!
I’ve tried so many things and I’m only trying one or two more things but I’m pretty sure I’m just going to have to engineer and make my own sports binder. I just can’t find anything that works for me.
I’m trying an outplay sports binder next and if that fails I’ll tra this thing called a “cheetah trotter” that’s meant for things like horseback riding. I will say I’ve tried an enell sports binder that was advertised as saying “if you’re looking into a reduction try this first!” And I’ve got to say, it did not live up to the reviews.😑
But oh well! I’m probably just going to make my own! High neckline because my chest starts high up and having any of it exposed makes me dysphoric, full coverage to the sides, open back so I can feel a shirt on my back for once! And just binding enough that I don’t have to layer sports binders but not as much as a regular chest binder so I can sleep in it and stuff.
Anywho, I think that’s it. I just wanted to make a silly comic as an excuse to mention that I’m going to make my own sports binder if I can’t find anything else that works.
Thanks for reading!
-Micah
*using “sports binder” instead of “sports bra” because calling things I use and talk about often “bras” is starting to make me dysphoric.
Raising money for my top surgery so I can live a better life.… Eden Fillyaw needs your support for Micah’s top surgery fund
I’m making a gofundme me for my top surgery fund! I’m hoping to have giveaways and possibly live streams to save up! The goal right now is $3,000 but depending on how things go I may have to save up over double that.
The surgeon I want is about $6,000 but I’m starting to think I won’t last long enough to save up that much and I just need to find a dr who takes insurance. Though my mom already said she doesn’t want me transitioning under her insurance but tbh idk if she could kick me off fast enough to stop me if I was paying for the rest of it.
Share if you can as that helps a lot!
That’s all the important info so if you’re board, go ahead and move on. Below I’m going to explain my situation.
So I live at home with my parents, both of which are christan people who believe being trans is wrong. They change the reason why they think it’s wrong a lot but I think the main thing is because they think it’s from the devil.
I am also a christian. A trans gender, asexual, panromantic Christian. I live in the Midwest where there’s not a ton of accepting people around me so dysphoria just kind of runs rampant on my life.
I just recently got a very part time job back from the lockdown and because I wasn’t making enough money before I didn’t get any stimulus check. I’ll literally be making less than $60 a week and I don’t know how much I’ll be able to work extra because I currently have a concussion.
I wanted to try and stay in gymnastics all the way up until I had surgery but I don’t think I’ll be able to do that. If my concussion doesn’t get better I may have to quit anyway. If I do I can try and work more but there’s still the issue of the concussion.
Right now I have a total of $55 saved up and set aside for top surgery. Not much but it’s something. I can’t drive and I don’t have a car anyway so getting to jobs will be a hassle and I may have to save for a car alongside top surgery.
As an autistic person it can get really overwhelming and hard to work with people too much and my job right now is literally to make sure the worst of the worst kids follow rules in a basketball gym. That’s a lot of people-ing if you ask me (lol). Point is, I definitely can’t do this job very often or for forever.
I’ll be looking into other job options but at the very least it could help me loads if people could share this around and donate if you can or feel like it. Even the tiniest bit helps. If I get enough money for top surgery before I’m done with gymnastics I’m quitting. Those people are almost all very unaccepting so it’ll feel nice to say I’m quitting to go be my true self, don’t you think?
Anyway, thank you for reading through my giant rant, you’re all precious!
Hey! I’m currently looking into different options for top surgery as I’m thinking I won’t be able to wait as long as I thought I would.
Anyone have any recommendations for top surgeons who take insurance, and do online consults? I’m doing some research myself but hearing who other people think is good would help too!
I originally wanted to go to dr kennith wolf but I don’t think I can wait long enough to save enough for that since he doesn’t accept insurance. If anyone knows something different about that dr in particular that would help me get top surgery faster that’d help a lot!
If you recommend someone, preferably they’d have worked on people who weren’t on T yet (and will do no nipple graphs since they never look good enough for me.) I can wait for testosterone but not top surgery.
