transfeminine information & references @transfeminformative - Tumblr Blog

Let’s get a little bit of mutual aid going.

Transgender people in urgent need of money, reblog this and drop a link or username for people to send it to you.

Generous people, check the notes and spread the wealth.

#might as well try to make this day a little bit useful #trans day of visibility #tdov #transgender

My sister has been on hrt for several years, but she developed blood clots in her legs last week, and her body has difficulty breaking up clots because she has valvular incompetence. She's going to talk to her doctor on Monday and may have to stop hrt. Do you know anything about trabs women who have dealt with blood clots and how they managed hrt? She's really upset about having to possibly stop hrt, but she is thinking the clots are too big a risk.

I unfortunately don't know much about this area... Ultimately this is a matter that can only be settled between her and her doctor. I wish her the best of luck.

#medical transition

Hey.

I abruptly abandoned this blog quite a while ago and I want to apologize for that, especially since some people sent in questions that I never answered. (I stopped using tumblr for my own mental health at that time. However I’m feeling a lot better now so here I am.) I’m not going to go back and answer the asks I received over a year ago as there’s no guarantee that that would be helpful for anyone.

However!

I’m going to be posting here from now on. If I need to put the blog on pause, I’ll let y’all know and turn off the askbox. For now I’ll do my best to answer y’all’s questions in a timely manner, as much as my life allows. (I am, after all, a grown woman with a full-time job and plenty of obligations.)

As always, I will reiterate the disclaimer that I’m not a mental or physical health professional. I am simply a 28-year-old transgender/transsexual/transitioned Woman who is fine with answering transgender-related questions to the best of my ability.

Feel free to reblog this. <3

#mod post

Did you notice weirder, more vivid, and more frequent dreams after starting hrt? Because I definitely have.. but was curious if it was just a coincidence. Not that I have any issues with it.. it's just not something I've seen people talk about and I'm a very curious person >.>

Huh. I’ve never heard of this, maybe my followers would know.

One thought that I have is that maybe it could be psychological in origin, since starting HRT was probably a very important thing for you emotionally.

#Anonymous

As a vegetarian, can I take estrogen?

Yes. Regardless of what dietary restrictions you have, you can go on HRT.

However, ideally, you should be talking to a doctor about it.

#Anonymous

thank u for ur answer, it did really help

:) glad to be of help

#Anonymous

sry I don't rly know who else to ask abt this. me and my girlfriend just broke up a couple days ago and we've been dating since I thought I was cis and in recent weeks I came out to my family and hope to start transitioning. Its just rly scary to feel even more alone going into my transition. how do I... manage that fear of isolation/desire for intimacy as I start to transition? how do I know it'll be ok? i know that might be too big of a question and I understand if u don't have a real answer

hey hey... listen, it’s gonna be okay.

I also had a lot of anxiety about such things right before and after i came out. imo, well, just overall, the “early stages” of social transition are pretty stressful times for pretty much everyone! everyone goes through this, and it does get better over time.

honestly i feel like the relief of being honest about yourself to other people is something that you might not feel right now, because of all the uncertainties and difficulties that you’re facing at the moment, but this will eventually pass and you will appreciate it and you will be in a better place.

you’re gonna be happier with yourself in the future, living as yourself and being open about your feelings makes for more genuine and fulfilling relationships with people, both in terms of romantic ones, but also, i feel, in terms of relating to family, friends, et cetera.

and as for fear of isolation, if you’re having social anxiety, like not feeling comfortable putting yourself out there, then i’d say, just try and give yourself gentle encouragement... when you have a source of stress, anxiety, fear, it’s normal to be overwhelmed by it sometimes. so, try and encourage yourself to seek friendship and companionship, but in a forgiving way, not blaming yourself or self-deprecating if you feel too afraid or overwhelmed at times.

a new situation, a new way of relating to other people socially, is often a scary thing, and can honestly take some getting used to.

i hope this helps in some way. not sure if i adequately answered the question.

#asks #Anonymous

I followed this blog and ur main by coincidence lol I had no idea it was the same person

oh thats funny! yeah uh i guess i list that as my main blog in the “about the mod” section of this blog. but thats part of the desktop theme and not visible on mobile. so its totally understandable that you’d miss it

also for some reason i dont have a link to this blog on my main blog? i thought i had one but there isnt one lol

#Anonymous

trans-girl-nausicaa

CURRENTLY am listening to the podcast “I Am A Girl” which has new episodes out after a hiatus… it’s a woman telling about her experience of being the mother of a young transgender girl… when it started the little girl was 6, now she is 10. their identities are anonymized.

but anyway

it really touches my heart, it really really does. my feelings as a transgender woman, as someone who wants to be a mother someday, as an adult trying to make my way through life and in many ways still processing my own childhood… this story, this woman’s life, her little girl’s life, the way that this woman has created a beautifully well-produced podcast, it all really makes my feelings well up and overflow.

sometimes i cry from listening. not because i am sad, not because i am depressed, not because there is something bad happening to this family, but because of the connections that i make with the story. new connections forming between people. my own emotional response to another woman, who connects to the woman that i am. my own emotional response to a little girl, who connects to the girl i once was.

i am happy for them. they are doing well. as well as one can. just as much as any other family, in one sense. because parenting is parenting. children are children. life is life. we all have hardships. and the one thing that is the truly intrinsic item that can lift any kind of burden is human connection. communication between people. honesty. empathy.

transfeminformative

Hey everyone, I thought I’d reblog this post (from my main blog lol) onto this blog because I feel like many people haven’t heard of How To Be A Girl. I really don’t want to do media recommendations on this blog per se, because there are a lot of other bloggers out there doing that, but in this case this is a nonfiction podcast by a mother of a transgender girl which offers an honest and intimate perspective of, well, what it is like to be a mother of a transgender child.

I hold this as important because I have received asks in the past regarding coming out and various other issues surrounding parents and family. So, in light of that, I offer this podcast as something that might give some valuable perspective.

Podcast website: http://www.howtobeagirlpodcast.com/

I am not going to make a habit of recommending media per se on transfeminformative. I make an exception for this because of the specific details and context.

#coming out #podcast #how to be a girl #parents #social transition

Thank you so much for running this blog, it’s a great help! I haven’t gone back through your whole archive yet, but do you have like a master post of resources and stuff I can check out for more information and anecdotes and whatnot?

ohhh, hmm. no i havent made a masterpost yet, but thank you for giving me the idea. i will try to make one eventually! (hgggg i have very low energy...) I’m glad that this blog has been helpful for you!

(As always, I will do my best to helpfully answer any questions people have. And if you don’t get an answer of some kind, it’s totally OK to re-send questions. Every so often I forget... haha... ^_^”)

#asks #theultravioletcatastrophe

long-ago-1234567890

L-XL dress giveaway for trans women/girls

as i slowly come into my butch and nonbinary identity, i feel more and more comfortable in my own skin, and less and less comfortable in dresses. i want to give back to the trans community that i have joined this past year as i came out as nonbinary. dresses can be expensive and it can be hard to get a new wardrobe that makes you comfortable after realizing you’re trans, especially on a budget.

these are first-come-first-serve, no more than 2 per person, and you have to be comfortable giving out a mailing address so i know where to send them. no reblogs/likes necessary, just send an ask (or an IM if ur a mutual)

dresses & details of each one under the readmore!! there are 11 to start, i will remove them as they get claimed and edit this post appropriately once they are all gone. all dresses are either a women’s L or women’s XL.

Keep reading

Do you know how I could cover up my very prominent widows peak.

temporarily? you could try wearing a headband or bandana or scarf,

permanently? get a new hairstyle, maybe some bangs, i think.

#Anonymous

Weird question but something I wonder about often for future me: Do you miss being able to pee standing up (easily)?

nope, not at all. actually, before i had surgery, i hadn’t peed standing up in... years? partly because i was using women’s restrooms but even before that, personally, peeing standing up made me feel kind of dysphoric :/

so, personally, i didn’t even think about it. everyone’s different tho.

#Anonymous

trans-girl-nausicaa

when you transition,

sometimes your partner will accept you and stay with you and very little changes for them.

sometimes your partner will accept you and your transition helps them realize things about themselves that they hadn’t realized before.

sometimes your partner accepts you for who you are, but in order for both of you to be honest with yourselves about your sexual orientations, the romantic relationship might have to end.

sometimes your partner will reject your gender and regardless of whether they want to stay with you or not, regardless of whether you want to stay with them or not, staying together might be really bad for you.

in any case, it is always ultimately healthiest for you to be honest and true and kind to yourself.

hey! idk if this is the right place to ask this but my gf and I are both trans girls and I love her so much, the only thing is that she doesn't want bottom surgery and I'm repulsed by dicks. it's not really a pressing thing right now bc I have too much dysphoria to do anything but I'd like to do sexual things with her eventually but idk how we could. do you have any advice?

#nsfw #sex #long postThis is a question that I have been holding in my ask box, I’ve been mulling over and pondering it, trying to figure out: Is this a question that it’s okay for me to answer? Is it even appropriate for me to give advice on this kind of thing? Am I even qualified to answer this question? Can I really take responsibility for the social implications of giving an answer for this and therefore treating myself as a de facto authority on sex and intimacy? What if my answer is harmful to people? What if I make this an unsafe blog for minors by answering? I do not really have answers to these questions. I am still trying to figure this out. I myself am a 25 year old white married lesbian transgender woman with my own individual life experiences. I do not think I know everything, I am still learning as everyone else is. But ultimately I decided I am going to answer this question to the best of my ability, and if I make a bad decision or a mistake, I will try to fix it and live with the consequences. So, here we go. Into the bedroom so to speak. IN CASE IT IS NOT CLEAR, THIS IS ABOUT TO GET EXPLICITLY SEXUAL. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. Ahem. First things first: Foreplay. Because we cannot talk about sex without talking about physical intimacy first and foremost. In some ways this is the most important part. Kissing: important. though what many people don’t think about is the fact that there are a lot of different places you can kiss on other than just the lips. The neck is very sensitive, as are the collarbones. The wrist is seductive in its own way. Ears are also sensitive but not everyone is into that, and some people just find it ticklish. Good guideline for kissin’ is to start out delicately. Of course only kiss ‘em if they say they wanna be kissed, but I’m gonna assume y’all are operating on that understanding so i’m not gonna harp on it. Respond to your partner’s body language when ya kiss. One of the worst types of kissers are ones who just kiss really hard and exuberantly without really paying attention to their partner. Don’t do that. Match and respond to their movements, their pressure, their breathing, the position of their lips and teeth and tongue. Got it? Good. Caressing and fondling:There’s lots of parts of the body that can be made to feel really good with your hands. Lots of people like their hips touched, gently or firmly. Some like their hips being caressed, some like their hips held and pushed. The mouth and lips are also very important. Many people like having their lips caressed by your fingers, many like having one or more fingers sucked by their partner. This is pretty common among lesbians. It might sound odd out of context, but it also can look and feel really sexy to give and to receive this. Breasts and nipples are, of course, an erogenous zone. “But I don’t have breasts!” Yes you do. Open your mind to the possibilities. Many find a lot of enjoyment in the caressing and licking of the breasts and nipples, regardless of their gender or body. Additionally it is important to note that a transgender woman on HRT will experience much more breast and nipple sensitivity. But, be gentle, as that tissue can easily get hurt or overstimulated. A general good thing to keep in mind when doin’ stuff with breasts is that the nipples are so sensitive that they can actually get overstimulated which doesn’t feel good. Pay some attention to both breasts, and be gentle with your fingers. The lips and tongue are a lot softer than fingers, so alternating between fingers and mouth is a good way to prevent overstimulation. You may be wondering: “Can the ass be caressed and fondled?”The answer is yes. The butt in general is a pretty sexy zone, both in terms of fondling the cheeks and when considering the prostate and anus. The anus and prostate are both very sensitive and are areas that have a lot of nerve endings, so your partner may get a lot of pleasure from getting handsy with this area. That being said, when it comes to anything in the butt region, CLEANLINESS IS PARAMOUNT. Always thoroughly clean yourself with gentle soap and water before engaging in intimacy. Vagisil and other brands of fragrance-free soaps for vaginal sanitation are generally very safe for cleaning your butt and genitals. Ok, we’ve come to the part where we address sexual stimulation, the things that can bring people to orgasm. One thing that can be fulfilling for partners who don’t want to interact with each others genitals, or new couples, is mutual masturbation. You make out, kiss, caress, whatever else, and then as you are close to each other you can both masturbate without touching each others genitals. A couple good things to do is to maintain physical closeness and contact, so you can hear and feel each others movements and breathing, if you or your partner can have one hand free you can caress each other, or kiss and lick each others fingers, or touch each others bodies in however else feels good while you both masturbate. Kissing can also be great. If you don’t necessarily want to see each other’s genitals, get under the covers. look at each others faces, or have one partner hug the other from behind. If mutual masturbation is a turnoff, one partner can masturbate while the other partner caresses them in other places, like breasts, lips, butt, hips. Stimulating the prostate can especially induce sexual pleasure. For those that don’t know, the prostate is an organ between the anus and scrotum that is involved in semen production. Stimulation can induce a lot of sexual pleasure, and can be induced by gently pressing and massaging it, either externally, or internally via anal penetration. Stimulating ones partner while they masturbate is a way that one partner can really actively enhance the other’s sexual pleasure. If your partner enjoys receiving anal penetration, then you can pleasure them with your fingers (for best sanitation, and safety, i must advise you to wear surgical gloves and PLEASE use ADEQUATE LUBE) or a dildo. If you’ve never used a dildo before on yourself and you are interested in trying, please try to maintain sanitation and safety at all times. If you’ve never put anything in your butt before, the first thing you should try with is one (gloved and lubricated with very very short nails!) finger. Lie down on your back, and bring your knees up closer to your butt. Part them slightly, not too far, but far enough. Try to relax completely, which could be difficult. if you are nervous, put on some music. Breathe deeply. Locate the anus with your fingers. If you feel unsure about the angle, get a hand mirror to help guide yourself. Keep breathing deeply as you insert your finger, and keep trying to relax your anus more and more. If you feel pain, stop. Taking something out will pretty much always be easier than putting something in. Don’t be afraid to stop and just abort the whole thing. If you can insert a finger a few inches, try moving it around a little. If your hand that’s penetrating you is in front of you, palm up, then curling your finger slightly should stimulate the prostate. If you have persistent bleeding from anal masturbation or sex, PLEASE see a doctor as soon as possible. Pain during sex doesn’t necessarily mean injury, but blood or bleeding from sex should be taken very seriously. And of course, look up more stuff about anal sex from sites other than tumblr PLEASE. If you can fit two or three fingers in your butt, you may be ready to try a buttplug or dildo. Generally it’s best to start out small, as small as possible, which means a buttplug. There’s nothing more frustrating than getting a toy that’s too big for your butt to use. Always always always use toys that have a flared base of some kind, because otherwise there is always the risk that your toy might be irretrievably stuck in your anus. IF THAT HAPPENS, GO TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM IMMEDIATELY. Always thoroughly clean toys after use. For best sanitation, you may want to put a condom on your toy before inserting it. If you have used a toy to penetrate yourself, then it is no longer “safe” in terms of “safe sex” and if you are observing safe sex you should NOT insert it into your partner. NEVER take a toy that has been inserted into the anus and insert it into a vagina, there are some really bad vaginal infections people can get from that. Vibrators can be very enjoyable both internally in the butt and externally applied to the prostate and external anus area. Again, if you’re looking for a vibrator for inserting in an anus, ONLY get one that has a flared base. I have said basically all I can think of to say on this topic. Well. This was the big huge sex post, I guess. I hope I did this topic justice. If you have any questions, complaints, corrections, et cetera, my ask box is open.

Do you have any advice on how I can hide I'm trans from my family and wear present myself in a more feminine manner.

hmm. that’s kind of a tough question. but, a couple things you could accessorize with that are somewhat feminine but plausibly deniable:(DISCLAIMER this is just my opinions sooooo this is totally subjective and not by any means a mandate or a guide. if you are closeted i fully endorse using your best judgement and taking any steps you deem necessary for your safety.)Clothes:scarvescute sweaterscolorful socks capriscollared shirts in pink overalls (maybe that’s just my personal bias lol)tank topsvestsskinny jeansShoes:chelsea bootssandalsclogssaddle shoestomsHair:pixie cut chin length bobhigh ponytail bunHats:beaniesnewsboy hatssun hatsbandanasvisorsblack hairbandsok uhm well i hope this helps. i had a hard time with this. best of luck to you. i’m happy to answer any further questions.

Do you have any tips for tans hygiene? Partially for specific things and partially bc I feel like growing up surrounded by men has led to me never learning basic things which scares me to ask

shower every day & wash with some body wash. it depends on your skin type which one to use, if you have oily skin you’ll want something that is meant to clear away oils, i.e. something “cleansing” and if you have dry skin the. get something moisturizing. in general it’s a good idea to use body lotion after showering, since a lot of body wash can make your skin feel dry and stripped of oil. most moisturizers have some type of oil in them to add to your skin oils. if there’s too much on ya, just use a towel to dab it off. if you don’t like the texture, don’t worry about wiping too much off, your skin will absorb some even if you need to wipe it off. also, you should get a face wash and face moisturizer for your face, as your face’s skin chemistry is a lot different from the rest of your body. rule of thumb? don’t use shampoo every day, usually every other day is fine. it depends on your hair type, but a lot of people who use shampoo every day end up with damaged hair & split ends as a result. if you have split ends, you should try and get “repairing” shampoo and conditioner and hair care products. brush your hair every day, or as often as possible, because it eliminates tangles, gets rid of some small amounts of dirt, and helps distribute your natural hair oil throughout your hair which is good for your hair. if you have too much split ends, you’ll need to just get a haircut, which might feel shitty in the short term but you’ll be better off in the long run because your hair won’t have those damaged ends. though, please don’t feel obligated to get a haircut just because i advised it. personally i went 7 years without a haircut at one point in my life because i was so hypersensitive to the idea of having short “boyish” hair. i was kinda terrified of it. but the truth is that you don’t have to have long hair. overall, i encourage everyone to style your hair based on what you want and what makes you feel comfortable. if you’re looking for short feminine styles, those do exist. some people also use hair oil such as argan oil or olive oil to make their hair feel smoother, shinier, and repair damaged hair, and to protect it from damage due to sun & heat & other harsh conditions. using this too often can make your hair over-oily and if you get an excess amount of it on your skin you might have an acne break out, so be judicious with it. in general if there’s a hair/skin care product that makes your hair or skin have any kind of adverse reaction, like dryness, itch, redness, acne, etc, then ditch it. even if you can’t replace it immediately, you’ll be better off without it. for shaving your face, it is generally best to get your face wet with hot water first, & also to do any kind of exfoliating that you do just prior to shaving. heat opens up your pores and softens the hair and makes it easier to get a close shave. i advise you to use some kind of shaving cream. it doesn’t really matter if you get a foaming/lathering kind or not, i don’t notice a functional difference. my favorite kind of shaving cream for my face is actually ladies’ shaving lotion. it does the job of lubrication/moisturizer without all that lather, and i like the fragrance. i don’t think it makes a huge difference which brand of razor you use. the main thing is to make sure to wipe off the blade & keep it clear of hair, go slow, and be careful. also, replace it often. regardless of brand nothings worse than a dull razor. those basic principles of shaving can be applied to shaving any part of the body, really. and a sharp razor can be used on any body part that’s got hair. the marketing of men’s vs women’s razors is largely just color and minor differences that don’t matter too much. personally when it comes to body hair removal i find that shaving is the most safe cheap and reliable. i haven’t really enjoyed my use of depilatory creams such as veet or nair in the past. i don’t use them any more, the skin irritation thing is too intimidating for me. be really careful about shaving pubic hair. personally i find that it itches like a motherfucker afterwards no matter what i do lol. and it seems to be more prone to ingrown hair due to shaving than any other part of my body. anyway. shaving your body can often lead to ingrown hair, so honestly i feel like it’s technically healthiest to not shave the body. but i still shave my legs and chest on a regular basis especially if im wearing something revealing. i mean shaving body hair was invented in the 20th century as a misogynistic standard applied to women sooooo it kinda just sucks overall. wow that dure was a tangent lol. shave whatever you wanna shave tho. is ur body do what u want with it. when it comes to deodorant, personally i prefer Tom’s Of Maine because it doesn’t irritate my skin. i personally don’t care about my deodorant having fragrance since i don’t wear a ton of fragrance anyway. i find that my hair product and lotion are fragrant enough as it is. and in any case if you really want some good smell just by itself you can always get some perfume. but GO EASY on the perfume. it’s strong stuff. ok so... that’s what i cod think of atm. brush your teeth morning and night. use exfoliant on any skin thats got dead or rough skin on it. have a nice day. sorry for being so late in response. ive had a lot of personal stuff going on. im still recovering from surgery lol.

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