Transforming Your Lives

Life Coaching In A World of Possibilities

[transformingyourlives]

You Alone Define Your Goals and Values

You Alone Define Your Goals and Values

Perspectives on goals, values, and what defines them are as different from person to person, as people are unique unto themselves as a group. That being said, as different as we all are, common threads of experience run through all of our lives. Some of those threads are fact-based, while others are meaning-based. It is at the boundary between those two areas where life gets interesting. (more…)

View On WordPress

[transformingyourlives]

Dignity You Can Tap Into

Dignity You Can Tap Into

 “A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly.”

—Robert A. Heinlein

 Men,…

View On WordPress

[transformingyourlives]

Why Do you….

I am often asked why I changed from agriculture to coaching, particularly when you consider how much I simply loved every part of growing trees. (more…)

View On WordPress

[transformingyourlives]

If you wouldn’t tell your grandmother about it, why do it?

If you wouldn’t tell your grandmother about it, why do it?

I read a book the other day that made these suggestions and/or asked these questions of the reader:

“Consider your circumstances

Start small

Have you taken full advantage of the opportunities offered to you?

Are you working hard on your career, or even your job?

Are you letting bitterness and resentment hold you back and drag you down?

Have you made peace with your brother or sister?

Are you…

View On WordPress

[transformingyourlives]

You Imagine Yourself Free From Moral Concerns?

You Imagine Yourself Free From Moral Concerns?

Not so fast….

 If you are 30 or younger you are currently living in a unique historical situation. You are the first generation that has been simultaneously taught two completely contradictory ideas about morality. This contradiction has left many of you uncertain or maybe disoriented in a way that, deprived of guidance that many of us had over the years, leaves you unable to enjoy the depth of a…

View On WordPress

[transformingyourlives]

Stop Getting In Your Own Way

Stop Getting In Your Own Way

You might think that being human, you are a member of the alpha species. However, when you use the word “human,” people often think of traits such as faulty, fallible, or guilty. It might just be that we are at our most fallible when we get in our own way. (more…)

View On WordPress

[transformingyourlives]

Love Them, Hate Their Politics...

Love Them, Hate Their Politics…

“I never considered a difference of opinion in politics, in religion, in philosophy, as cause for withdrawing from a friend.”

–Thomas Jefferson

I am asked how romance can endure our current political climate.  We all have seen politics take on a life of its own lately. Whether you listen to MSNBC or FOX, you undoubtedly have feelings on what you see daily…strong feelings more than likely.  What I…

View On WordPress

[transformingyourlives]

How They Manipulate You

“Impression management is the psychopath’s favorite tool.”

Not every Psychopath looks and acts like Hannibal Lecter and they won’t all eat you for dinner.  But one thing that they do all have in common is a desire to manage your impressions of them. (more…)

View On WordPress

[transformingyourlives]

Married and Your Sex Life Sucks? Do Something About it

Getting help for sexual problems is one of the keys to avoiding a divorce. Be honest. Is sex one of those uncomfortable issues that you and your spouse avoid? (more…)

View On WordPress

[transformingyourlives]

Neglect in a Relationship

Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike.

–J. K. Rowling

I am occasionally asked, “What is neglect in a relationship?” I immediately thought back to the first apartment I ever rented. My neighbors were an older couple who would fight unceasingly, day and night. As I laid quietly in my bed, I would hear them from the floor above me, screaming about all matter of…

View On WordPress

[transformingyourlives]

Do They Really Love You?

It’s all about their true feelings…and yours.

“True feeling justifies whatever it may cost”

—Mary Sarton

Everyone wants to know if their partner really loves them. Which one among us hasn’t occasionally wondered how loved they are. (more…)

View On WordPress

[transformingyourlives]

Maybe That’s Why We Sleep?

It helps your long-term memory?

I know that sleep isn’t the sexiest of topics. I have blogs that have been a lot more exciting. That being said though, sleep is one of the most important things we do each day and it is one of the least understood things in life. Research indicates that the brain minimizes clutter and maximizes memory with sleep. That being said, here’s a factoid about sleep that…

View On WordPress

[transformingyourlives]

What’s to Love About a Narcissist

How narcissists can be so ridiculously disarming.

  Most people—even the most narcissistic—claim that being around a narcissist brings little joy. (more…)

View On WordPress

[transformingyourlives]

Emotional Abuse: The Gift That Keeps on Giving

  “The past is never dead. It’s not even past.”

—William Faulkner

I am writing this blog for a client who has been suffering emotional abuse at the hands of a family member they trusted. In my work, I often see signs of abuse in clients, and just as often I refer the serious cases up the ladder to the appropriate mental health or law enforcement professional. Sometimes though, I find people are…

View On WordPress

[transformingyourlives]

Who We Want and Who Wants Us.

You’d think that sex, something critical to the survival of the species (and also pleasurable), would mean we’d be quite a bit more conscious of the cues we—and prospective sexual partners—use for our intimate choices.

Anyone been to France lately? The French often say “je ne sais quoi” (literally meaning, “I don’t know what”) when describing a certain undefinable “something” that makes a…

View On WordPress

[transformingyourlives]

Your Inner Critic

We all cultivate a voice inside our heads that criticizes, chastises, and judges us and what we do, no matter what it is. (more…)

View On WordPress

[transformingyourlives]

Changing Those Habits

Have you ever tried to change a habit? Maybe tried to start losing weight by not thinking about food? Have you tried to play the cool one and not call—or email or text—a romantic interest by blocking out your thoughts about that person? How about trying to stop smoking by trying not to think about smoking?

Did it work? I’ll bet it didn’t. But it’s really not your fault.

In spite of it being a…

View On WordPress