Life In Perspective

On this blog, you will find LGBTQ* issues, mainly transgender* issues. You will see a rise in varying content as I learn more about systems of oppression, intersectionality, and how these affect various groups within the LGBTQ* community.

[nitatyndall-deactivated20200510]

LGBTQIA YA Novels Where the Focus Isn't On Coming Out

When I was a young babygay, many of the LGBT YA novels I found were all about the angst and trials of coming out. Which is all well and good, but those can’t be the only narratives queer people see themselves in. So, I compiled this list.

I had three criteria:

Coming Out could be a part of the plot but could not be the whole focus 

Note: Several of you have been suggesting Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda, which, while it is a wonderful book, is primarily about the main character coming out, and cannot be included on this list.

The protagonist/MC had to identify as queer/LGBT. No sidekick stories here.

The story could not be known to be biphobic or transphobic (which is why The Bermudez Triangle isn’t on here, also before you ask. Also bisexual-books has a great response to that book in particular, but this is not the place for that discussion.)

If you believe a novel on this list falls into the categories of bi- or transphobic or otherwise, please message me and I’ll look into it/remove it.

This is by no means a comprehensive list–feel free to message me with suggestions so I can keep updating!

The List is also on Goodreads!!

-Nita

Realistic Fiction: Lesbian MC

The Summer I Wasn’t Me by Jess Verdi

The Miseducation of Cameron Post by emily m. danforth

Everything Leads to You by Nina LaCour

Scars by Cheryl Rainfield (huge trigger warning for self harm and sexual abuse for this book, FYI. It is a wonderful book, though.)

If You Could Be Mine by Sara Farizan

Starting from Here by Lisa Jenn Bigelow

A Love Story Starring My Dead Best Friend by Emily Horner

Gravel Queen by Tea Bendhun

Fat Angie by E.E. Charlton-Trujillo

Lies My Girlfriend Told Me by Julie Anne Peters

What We Left Behind by Robin Talley (also contains genderqueer MC)

This Is Where It Ends by Marieke Nijkamp

Realistic Fiction: Gay MC

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Sáenz

Gone Gone Gone by Hannah Moskowitz

Openly Straight by Bill Konigsberg

Sprout by Dale Peck

One Man Guy by Michael Barakiva

Here’s to You, Zeb Pike by Johanna Parkhurst

I’ll Give You the Sun by Jandy Nelson

Realistic Fiction: Transgender MC

Parrotfish by Ellen Wittlinger

Just Girls by Rachael Gold

Realistic Fiction: Bisexual MC

Far from You by Tess Sharpe

Empress of the World by Sara Ryan

Not Otherwise Specified by Hannah Moskowitz

Speculative Fiction: Lesbian MC

Huntress by Malinda Lo

Bleeding Earth by Kaitlin Ward

The Abyss Surrounds Us by Emily Skrutskie

A Hidden Affinity by Audrey Coulthurst

Afterworlds by Scott Westerfeld

Speculative Fiction: Bisexual MC

Love In the Time of Global Warming by Francesca Lia Block

The Island of Excess Love by Francesca Lia Block

Ash by Malinda Lo

Adaptation by Malinda Lo

Inheritance by Malinda Lo

Grasshopper Jungle by Andrew Smith

Coda by Emma Trevayne

Otherbound by Corinne Duyvis

Pantomime by Laura Lam

Ink Exchange by Melissa Marr

Speculative Fiction: Gay MC

Proxy by Alex London

More Than This by Patrick Ness

Boy Meets Boy by David Levithan

Maggot Moon by Sally Gardner

More Happy than Not by Adam Silvera

Chicken by Chase Night

Historical Fiction: Lesbian MC

Wildthorn by Jane Eagland

Silhouette of a Sparrow by Molly Beth Griffin

Lies We Tell Ourselves by Robin Talley

Queer/Not Otherwise Specified MC:

The Mermaid in Chelsea Creek by Michelle Tea - Speculative Fiction

Santa Olivia by Jacqueline Cary -

Brooklyn Burning - Steve Brezenoff

[desdeotromar-deactivated2021110]

Updated list of books by black trans women:

Sharon Davis, A Finer Specimen Of Womanhood (1986) [Out of print]

The Lady Chablis, Hiding My Candy (1997) [Author interview]

Toni Newman, I, Rise (2011) [Author interview]

Ceyenne Doroshow, Cooking in Heels (2012) [Author interview]

Dane Figueroa Edidi, Yemaya’s Daughters (2013) [Author interview]

A. E. “Toni” D’orsay, Introduction to Transness (2013) [Partial text: 1 and 2]

Janet Mock, Redefining Realness (2014)

Tenika Watson and Jennifer Daelyn, My Life is No Accident: A memoir by Tenika Watson (2014) [Author interview]

Dominique Jackson, The Transsexual from Tobago (2014) [Author interview]

Garland Guidry, Memoirs of a GayShe (2014)

Dane Figueroa Edidi, Brew: A Novel (2015) [Available for pre-order as of Feb. 2015]

[desdeotromar-deactivated2021110]

Buy these books. Comment on them. Create more demand to support black trans artists and writers.

[publishbiyuti]

But really. Buy these books.

[a-spoon-is-born]

I got Cooking In Heels from backing the Kickstarter!!! It’s fantastic!

[instapride-blog]

My whole life, I was led to believe that there were only two genders. I thought I had to shrink myself to fit into a box that was never going to contain me. It took years for me to find words for my gender identity, and to feel comfortable expressing myself as I am.

“Are you a boy or a girl?” is definitely the most common question I encounter about my gender. “No” is my answer. A common misconception: people think that having intimate knowledge of my body will give them knowledge about who I am, or worse, what they describe as my “real” gender. I am agender. My body is not guarding a secret, and people’s assumptions about and projections onto my body will never reveal more truth than my words.

[composerlost]

This post serves as an updated version of this post; broken links have been changed/removed and new links have been added. Please reblog this version! Presentation Cheap Transition Starter Kits How to Take Measurements The Tumblr Transgender Clothes Exchange Reflectre Voice Pitch Tracker Masculinizing Hudson’s FTM Resource Guide The FTM’s Complete Illustrated Guide to Looking Like a Hot Dude (warning for fatphobic language) Chest Binding 101 The Do’s and Don’ts of Chest Binding FuckYeahBinders (Tumblr Blog, info and resources for binding) Underworks Pullover Binders Big Brother Binder Repository (For people 18+ [or emancipated minors] who cannot afford a binder. This link is to their FB page, but they will be moving again soon.) In a Bind Binder Donations Discreet STP Device Cotty Underwear (Boxer briefs w/fake bulge that can hold sanitary pads) The Male Fashion Fit Guide AK’s Guide to Suits (this is a drawing guide, but contains useful info) TopMan (Small size [XXS, XS, etc.] masculine clothing) Throat Exercise to Deepen Voice (Video) Feminizing Tucking How-to Guide Realistic Breast Form Tutorial (Video) The Breast Form Store Cheap (Sale) Breast Forms Breast Form Adhesive Discs (For wearing breast forms without mastectomy bra) How to create cleavage using a silicone bra (video) Measuring Bra Size for Trans Women Women’s Clothing Terminology Chrysalis (Lingerie for Trans Women, autoplay music) Mastectomy Bras with Built In Flap for Breast Forms Cheap Control/Shaping Briefs Breast Form Adhesive Discs (For wearing breast forms without mastectomy bra) Miss A (Accessory/makeups $1 shop) How to hide stubble (Tumblr post) How to Contour and Highlight Using Makeup (video) How to Apply Eyeliner with a Spoon (video) How to Apply Foundation (video) How to Apply Blush (video) How to Apply Eyeshadow (video) Nonbinary Specific Resources Nonbinary.org Nonbinary Safe Space (Tumblr Blog) GenderQueerID (Tumblr Blog) Multilingual Pronoun List (Tumblr Page) Emergency TransLifeline Support Hotline (Run by trans people, for trans people) National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Transgender Housing Network CrisisChat Legal National Center for Transgender Equality Transgender Law Center Change your Name for Free - Civil Indigent Status (Tumblr post) Medical Transgender Surgeons in the U.S. Center of Excellence for Transgender Health FTM Hormone Guide FTM Surgery Guide MTF Hormone Guide MTF Surgery Guide Mcalc Gender Neutral Menstruation Calculator (For Android) Mental + Support Online Gender Therapy (can also issue letters of recommendation) Emotional Baggage Check TransSpace Reddit #RealLiveTransAdults (Twitter) School + Education Trans Student Education Resources Trans Student Scholarships Study Abroad for GLBT Students Applying to College as a Non-Binary Trans Person Harvey Milk High School, NY (High School designed as a safe space for LGBTQ+ youth) Jobs List of Employers with Trans Friendly Policies TJobBank Additional Resources Susan’s Place Transgender Resources and Forums Laura’s Playground Transgender Resources REFUGE Restrooms (finds gender neutral bathrooms near you)

[3-cheers-for-mark-nutt]

this is extremely important spread this around and save a life!

[penicillium-pusher]

Neurodiversity is the diversity found in the human brain and mind. A neurodiverse person, then, may have autism, PTSD, anxiety, etc. These are LGBTQ identities specific to neurodiverse folks. 

[ciscordian-deactivated20170628]

its so nice to see aro/acevague and gendervague on here… orientations that i coined! i hope knowing this helps people

[trans-witch]

Yesssss

[queeranarchism]

You said male privilege is denied to anyone not viewed as "male enough." That would include the vast majority of men, and serves as essentially a blanket accountability dodge for any man. It's a very flawed view of privilege and power. ALL men have male privilege. Viewing oneself as not getting the "full package" of male privilege is literally a defining characteristic of the male experience under patriarchy. Trans men can have male privilege and still face cissexism and misdirected misogyny.

I think you’re confusing ‘not man enough’ and ‘not masculine enough’. 

The patriarchy pushes all men to conform to an ideal of perfect masculinity, and creates a constant anxiety for the 99.9% of men who do not conform to that ideal. That sucks but it does not effect their essential male privilege. So that’s ‘not masculine enough’. 

‘Not man enough’ is a category when the patriarchy doesn’t perceive an individual as having even the most basic requirements to be considered male at all. Paradoxially (because the patriarchy loves to bite it’s own tail*) this often includes anyone who doesn’t own a penis AND anyone who categorically does not identify as male. As much as the cissexist patriarchy claims that trans women are ‘actually male’, they treat trans women as their most hated category of women, a clear sign that they have withdrawn all male privilege. Trans women have zero male privilege from the first moment they are perceived by society as transgender. 

Now, trans men. Suppose a theoretical person, let’s call that person Taylor, sits in their room one night, looks in the mirror and says “I finally know who I am, I am a transman”. Now in that moment, he does not *magically* gain male privilege. If he walked out into the world without a different body and without a sign that said ‘man’, he would be treated exactly the same as the day before. Sure, any misogyny he encountered would be ‘misdirected’, sure, but it would be real misogyny none the less. When you experience misogyny (misdirected or not) 100% of the time, then you have social male privilege 0% of the time. 

Note the word ‘social’. The very first moment they start identifying as male, transmen do get to benefit from all the positive connotations that our society attaches to manhood. They can define their gender identity by their ‘strength’ and their ‘assertiveness’ as if these qualities had anything to do with masculinity. That is a mental comfort trans women don’t have. And most transmen, while adopting a masculine way of talking, walking, interacting, adopt a LOT of the toxic stuff that is engrained in male behaviour. Transmen ‘mansplain’, transmen demand the centre of attention and speak over women, transmen crack rape jokes. And many do this excessively, as if being an ultra-misogynist were some sick right of passage into manhood.But socially, trans men gain nothing until they are recognized by others as men. 

As Taylor would declare their identity, start using different pronouns, take hormones, etc, more and more people would start recognizing him as male. Some would be decent human beings who recognize that identifying as a man makes Taylor a man, others would be transphobes who do not know Taylor and judge him by his appearance only. Taylor would get more and more male privilege, for longer uninterrupted periods. But it would be a precarious privilege. At any point, a transphobe could take a look at their ID, decide that the little ‘F’ on that plastic card means this is not a ‘real man’ and started treating Taylor the same way they treat women. (or much worse, because transphobia) Misdirected misogyny? sure. But very very real. 

Trans men have social male privilege only when they are recognized by society as men, and how precarious that privilege is depends on their situation. Male privilege isn’t a simple matter of black and white. It isn’t something you either never or always have. That said, most transmen are somewhere on the pretty-damn-privileged side most of their post-transition lives and need to acknowledge that.

Now, you’re probably wondering why I’m bothering to stress this distinction and the fact that ‘misdirected’ misogyny is real misogyny? Well, it’s because a fly trap that catches a mosquito still kills the mosquito. And trans men are dying from all the misdirected misogyny. 

Transmen are more likely to experience rape and sexual violence than cisgender women. Twice as likely according to some statistics, up to four times as likely according to others. So when a cisgender women tells a transman that he can’t be part of a conversation about rape culture because of his male privilege - as is quite common - she is very fucking wrong. It’s a life-or-death matter that trans men’s voices be heard in conversations about misogyny.

(Not surprisingly, transwomen are the absolute worst off when it comes to their chances of becoming a victim of sexual violence. One thing is absolutely clear about the patriarchy: it has a very special hatred reserved for transwomen.)

Now, there are a LOT of issues where transmen just need to shut up, sit back and listen. If it’s about slut-shaming, women’s representation in the media, the trivialization of feminity, transmen are often just adding noise when they say things like ‘But what about the transmen?’ and they definitely need to keep an eye on their privilege. And most of all transmen need to stop speaking for transwomen, stop pretending that a place is trans friendly when transwomen feel unsafe and stop pretending that violence targeted specifically against transwomen is ‘violence against trans* people’. 

And when trans men get told to check their privilege, 99% of the time, they really should check their privilege. 

But trans men do, in some situations, face real sexism and ‘but it’s misdirected’ should not be used to shut them up when they name their experiences. 

So, yeah, shit’s complicated.

—

*It’s a common mistake to assume that the patriarchies ideas of men and women are logical and consistent. They’re not. The patriarchy is a system intent on keeping cis men in power in every aspect of life and if it perceives your existence as something that threatens male dominance, it will pull any trick, no matter how illogical, to make sure your voice isn’t heard. 

[previouslyzaynhell-blog]

trans/queerphobia is not limited solely to the actual murder of people it also includes but is not limited to:

casual cissexism (ie. “girls are so strong dealing with their periods!”)

denial of privilege (ie. “yeah gay people might have it hard but i have it hard too and im straight!!”)

trivialization of oppression (ie. “not all cis people are like that!! theres a few assholes out there, but most people are accepting!”)

passive by-standing (ie. not actively oppressing trans/queer people but also not DOING ANYTHING when they are being oppressed)

refocusing attention onto the privileged party (ie. “yeah you may get called a [t slur] but you called me a cishet which is bullying!!”)

weaponizing support (ie. “now that you were mean to me i dont know if i want to support queer people anymore”)

invalidation of anger (ie. “just because youre oppressed doesnt mean you can just bully people!”)

simplifying oppression (ie. “lets all just be nice to each other!”)

erasure of identities (ie. “just stop labeling yourself and you wont get oppressed!”

[projectqueer]

Trans People Face Vast Gaps In Mental Health Counseling | Out Magazine

Suicide prevention hotlines aren't equipped to help many of the people desperately in need.

[cinestalgia]

[plannedparenthood]

TRUTH. Love this graphic from the Transcending Gender Project.

[cannabiscomrade]

Normalize women with penises

Normalize men with vaginas

Normalize intersex people

Normalize singular neutral pronouns

Normalize diversity and crush stereotypes

[trans-liberation]

In my time being active in the nonbinary trans community I’ve received countless questions that were something along the lines of “does _______ mean that I’m not trans?” I feel like a lot of these insecurities come from the fact that people just don’t know how common these feelings are among other…

[missivejournal-blog]

Missive: a Transfeminist Journal. Call for Submissions!

Missive Journal, a new publication of original transfeminist thought, is calling for submissions for it’s first issue! We’re looking for essays, poetry, short fiction, visual art, and memoir written by trans women. Most of the discourse surrounding trans women has almost nothing to do with our lived experiences, or is perpetually stuck in a state of Trans 101. The transfeminist writings which have most inspired us are ephemeral and scattered, situated as they are in various internet communities. And far too often, these conversations are derailed by an interloper almost as soon as they begin. Our aim in starting Missive is to foster a different type of conversation about our bodies and our lives. It is a place to move beyond the politics of apologism; it is a place to collect and record transfeminist works. We plan on distributing Missive as a digital file on a pay-what-you-can model, with proceeds split evenly amongst contributors. Please send submissions to [email protected] by December 31st, 2013.

[transgenderstudentlife]

I've recently published a collection of writings entitled, 'August Will Be A Time For Getting Over You'. It includes poetry, personal narratives, an essay on the importance of labels in our society and journal entries, including journal entries that track my life-long journey as I grasp to understand my gender identity and sexual orientation - or even simply to grasp to understand those terms and what they mean. I hope you will check out this labor of love, and if you purchase it, know that I am grateful, and that your hard earned money will be well spent on helping a young transwoman to transition, and on helping a young community college student on her way to university. With thanks and wishing peace, Jessica A. Fisher

http://www.longhairedpoet.tumblr.com

[beepboopbeepbop89]

Also rebloggable by request. Source.

[zielomizu]

do people actually do this

like

do they actually do this

[starschlep]

1st binders can be pretty expensive and hard to get especially depending on your living situation 2nd clothing and hairstyles have no gender and applying genders to them is incredibly cissexist the clothing you wear does not define your gender 3rd not everyone has parents or family members who are accepting and physically transitioning can be stressful or even dangerous for them 4th there is no preset criteria for what level of masculinity or femininity you have to reach before you can be considered trans the only thing you need to be considered trans is identifying as trans 5th you use a troll face in your shitty strawman argument your point is instantly invalid

[hotokichan-deactivated20140806]

^ ^ ^ ^ ^

[remescient]

Let’s talk a little more about why this is not only a shitty attitude to take, but also a very dangerous one as well. All the points noted above are completely true, so lets build on top of them (though in a slightly different order).

First, gender identity and gender expression are both incredibly personal and also highly public. Many transgender folk live in situations where their gender cannot be safely expressed in a public fashion. This does not invalidate their gender identity. Some live in highly controlling homes, some are dependent upon parents, guardians or others for various things needed for bodily survival, and some might work in jobs or careers where their ability to express their gender is limited by bigoted minds in power above them.

Though we tend to see the internet as a haven, online gender expression is not nearly as safe a space as you might think either, as many people (especially young ones) live in situations where their online activity may be monitored to some degree. Similarly, many jobs monitor their employees online behavior, and even rumors that an employee is not behaving “appropriately” online can cost them hours, promotions, or even their career. Over 90% of transgender individuals have experienced some form of harassment at work, and 26% have lost their jobs because of their identity. Not everyone can afford to lose their livelyhood because of their identity.

This means that even if they WANTED to express themselves in your outlined fashion, they might not be free to do so (and this is ignoring your highly problematic use of “girly”, because totalmoetoolbag pretty much summed up the issue with that in item no. 2 on their list). Though it should be a right, having the freedom and safety to explore and express your gender in a free fashion is currently a privileged in our society, and many people live in situations where being trans would put them at risk for homelessness, abuse, violence, and possibly death. 

Second, as stated above, binders are expensive. And considering that transgender people are four to five times more likely to live in poverty (DOUBLE the numbers in general population), basing someones gender expression on their ability to bind is classist. Just because you can afford a binder doesn’t invalidate someones identity if they can’t.

Third,  41% of the transgender population have attempted suicide. Let that sink in for a moment. If you had a room with 100 transgender people in it, forty-one would have attempted suicide at some point in their life. Research lists some of the contributing factors that lead to attempted suicide as discrimination, bullying, harassment, feelings of isolation, and the disapproval of family and friends. Do you know what you’re doing when you tell people their gender identity is invalid because it doesn’t meet your pre-set criteria? You are, however unintentionally, siding with the people that contribute to these stress factors. And yes, it is entirely possible to experience oppression while simultaneously being the oppressor in this situation; you can be harassed for being trans and still be contributing to the harassment of another transgender person.

If someone says they are trans, take them seriously. You do not have the right to make that call for them, no more than others have the right to make that call for you. Your experiences as trans do not invalidate another experience as trans just because it doesn’t meet your idea of what being trans means. By continuing to perpetuate the idea that gender identity is dependent upon a specific means of gender expression, you are in fact continuing the very social model that continues to make your life as a trans person difficult at best, and deadly at worst. So stop it.

Sources:

National Transgender Discrimination Survey

Live Science: High Suicide Risk, Prejudice Plague Transgender People

[opia-apito-deactivated20140223]

the OP of this comic is an absolute tool and I can’t believe their blog URL like jesus CHRIST

[frankytheshorty]

IRS Affirms that Transition-Related Care is Tax Deductible

The Internal Revenue Service (IRS) has affirmed that transgender people can deduct their hormone therapy and sex reassignment surgery expenses.  This announcement indicates that the IRS will follow…

WOOOHOOOOO lol one day when i’m older i’ll do this XDD

SPREAD THIS AROUND YOU GUYS ITS ACTUALLY IMPORTANT!!! 

[xdeleted-deactivated20141104]

God, this is really good news for me.

[blackfoxx-deactivated20211115]

awww shit….

[sourcedumal]

For my trans followers.

Get your tax deductions yo!!!

[formerlymomdiggity-deactivated2]

i try not to get excited but this is amazing