I am quitting the internet

this blog will remain here for a while. it is specifically inclusive to trans men who are also lesbians and butches! I'm James, adult, he/him. I'm a Queer. if you tag my posts as "q slur" I will block you. thats my fucking identity thanks.

[transmenarebeautiful]

I'm James.

He/him. They/them also acceptable.

I am a Queer.

Please do not tag my posts or posts that you reblog directly from me as "q slur" or "q slur tw" or whatever. That's my identity thanks.

Have questions? Send an ask or dm. I'm not shy. Sometimes I am rude but I try not to be.

This blog is specifically for trans men, trans mascs, trans mascs who are also lesbians, butch gender folks, Queers, etc. If you feel like you belong here, then who am I to tell you otherwise.

Feel free to submit selfies and send selfie posts! I love seeing yall and ill post anyone's selfies. If you don't see me post something you sent, go ahead and ask why or resend bc it probably just got eaten by tumblr.

I try to keep the content on this blog identity-positive but sometimes I do reblog or post Discourse bc im still a person who has opinions based on experiences.

[larktb-archive]

Do the transandrophobia people think that they're the only group of minority men who have specific differing experiences to their equivalent fem counterparts. Like it's really a self-centered ideology that reeks of white egoism - "You see my identity as a man leads to a different unique experience to my female counterparts which means I need my own specific label" as if that doesn't hold true for every group of men lol.

[penis-peeper]

did you ignore all the disabled trans mens posts too or are you only selectively reading the ones you want and getting mad

[transmenarebeautiful]

So what's transmisogyny then

[transmenarebeautiful]

Why does every post about transphobia have to include the addendum "this can happen to trans men but it happens far more/worse to trans women" like... its just different. Its just slightly different transphobia it just looks different. The aggressions are different and often socially subtler specifically bc we are perceived or purposely treated as women. Its not less horrible less degrading less painful less dehumanizing, its just differently horrible differently degrading differently painful differently dehumanizing. I saw a post that said trans men don't get maliciously they/them-ed nearly as often as trans women and idk what statistic or source you could possibly have for a statement like that. There is no way to measure it objectively. And it hurts like he'll for people to assume my pain is less because it's not as visible.

Bc also, you know, the stereotypical picture of a nonbinary they/them person is very close to the stereotypical picture of a trans man, so how many times do you think you've seen a trans man maliciously they/them-ed and you didn't even realize? Probably a lot.

Every job I've had, every new class I've taken, every time I enter a new social environment I introduce myself with he/him. And every single time the people there collectively decide to ignore that and use they/them for me. Every time. And I correct them all endlessly, its not like im letting them do this to me, I fight it every single time. The only time I can remember in the last 5 years that my classmates or coworkers actually used my correct pronouns was in a Queer studies class, and even then it took almost two months of correcting people to get the "they/them" to actually stop.

[nothorses]

I think it's funny that the people who popularized the term "transandrophobia" decided to call the ideology we were discussing & developing "transunitism", and chose to actively promote solidarity between trans people as an answer to the decades of hatred and resentment cis people have been provoking between different trans communities in order to weaken our movement

and shithead baeddel wannabes were like "no that sounds too good. how am I supposed to argue that" and decided to name us fucking "transandrophobia truthers" and then just gaslight people into believing we did that ourselves so they could then criticize us for being conspiracy theorist reactionaries or something.

discourse really is just inventing a guy that doesn't exist and then being very angry at him over & over again.

[asterosian]

If I hear the claim “transmascs are saying that trans women aren’t at high risk of sexual abuse” one more time I’m gonna start biting.

Show me. Show me who’s saying that. Don’t just list off the name of every transmasc you’ve seen talking about transandrophobia. Do not try to tell me that that assumption is inherent to the word. Give me a link to the exact post by a transmasc who is claiming that trans women don’t get raped.

I’m demanding proof of that claim cause I’ve been in this goddamn discourse since it started, I’ve been following the dudes y’all treat like the ringleaders as if getting rid of them will make the rest of us shut up. I’m active in a discourse server where we talk about transandrophobia on a more-than-regular basis. If this claim was true, surely I would have seen what the FUCK you’re talking about, right?

Except I haven’t. Not once.

What I have seen is others showing the results of a survey that compares the percentage of trans men, trans women, and nonbinary people (separated by ASAB) who reported having been raped, and a disturbing number in all categories said yes, with the trans man and nonbinary-folks-who-were-AFAB percentages being the highest. That is far from claiming that trans men get raped while trans women don’t.

Are we operating under the assumption that anything that’s true for trans men, the opposite must be true for trans women, and vice versa? Because if we are then you’re too ignorant on how oppression and gender works to be taking part in this conversation. You can come back when you’ve figured out men and women aren’t polar opposites.

Quit twisting our words to paint us as rape apologists just for wanting people to give a fuck about us.

[a-polite-melody]

What I would like to point out:

Their extremely quick leap to put the words, “trans women don’t get raped,” into our mouths when we’ve actually said, “statistically, when you break trans people into groups based on assigned sex at birth, trans people who are AFAB are at higher risk of rape,” is telling.

Because these same people have been saying, “trans women are the most at risk group of trans people and so are the only group I think is worthy of their own word to describe their oppression.” And if they’re so assume that pointing out differentials in statistics means that one group experiences something while the other doesn’t… what does that mean about their statement about trans women as it relates to other trans people? Because, to me, it seems to make their own statement read a whole lot like they’re saying only trans women are at risk.

When people use leaps of logic like this, you should always be looking at the other end of it as well. The things people assume of others are often things they do themselves.

[asterosian]

I was gonna just reblog your addition and add some tags but I feel like I want this aspect spread.

My OP was inspired by a specific post even tho I’ve seen multiple people make the same claim about us. And that post really pissed me off for multiple reasons, one of which was that it felt like it was denying that transmascs get raped at a higher rate than average, like you said. But this person also criticized the data because… it was based on survey results and not official reports.

I’ve said multiple times that transmascs are categorized as women with zero mention of us being transmasc in police reports. There is no data because good fucking luck finding a cop that isn’t a cis transphobe. We only know about Brandon Teena because he managed to report his rape to the cops while mentioning that he was trans and the cops decided “no person was a victim here”. I usually mention this in the context of murder but does anyone really think any given transmasc is gonna feel safe disclosing their trans status to a fucking cop? Self report is gonna be all we can get. If you want to claim that’s not enough, that tells me you’re okay with transmascs getting raped as long as you don’t have to hear about it. If the point was just that we need more data, I’d agree with that, but it wasn’t. It was calling transmasc survivors liars.

As a trans man and a survivor, I really don’t know how any of y’all expect me to feel safe around anyone who isn’t a transmasc, certain variations of nonbinary, or any trans person who isn’t vocally in support of transmascs. Not when the response to us speaking up is anything like this.

[nothorses]

If we are discounting all studies that aren't based on survey results, we're throwing out a whole lot of studies about trans women's experiences as well. And, yknow, a ton of other science.

And hey, are we just boldfaced claiming that trans men and AFAB nonbinary people are lying about being sexually assaulted? When did we suddenly stop believing victims?? Why is it okay to accuse rape victims of lying when its transmascs???

[satanfemme]

when people try to make their (shallow at best) feminism sound inclusive to nonbinary people but accidentally let slip their prejudices in the process. "men aren't pretty, women and nonbinary people are pretty." "fuck men, I only like women and nonbinary people." and ofc the classic "safe space for women and nonbinary people, no men allowed." like damn that's crazy. can't wait until you find out about nonbinary men too though 😑. or, can't wait until you find out about masculine nonbinary people in general tbh, cause I know they're not who u have in mind with these statements. by choice and not there's nonbinary people out there who look and present exactly how u imagine binary men do, of all ages, and maybe you need to wrap your cute little head around that before even attempting to speak on "nonbinary rights" or whatever.

[satanfemme]

like, if ur including 18 yr old she/they demigirls who don't want to go on T but always wear pronoun pins in your activism, that's great. but if you want to speak on nonbinary people as a whole group, you're also speaking on 30-something year old he/him men who're already balding, who have full beards, who are stealth as cis men (if not cishet men) in their workplaces, who aren't twink-y and who might not own a single piece of make-up, and who may or may not be physically transitioning. And when they say they're nonbinary they're just as nonbinary as the first example I gave.

this is why "men vs non-men" doesn't work. some people are both. some people aren't both, but by your prejudice standards might cross the line. ffs some nonbinary people are a woman and ALSO a man. there is no secondary binary you can salvage out of this. and if you don't reframe your nonbinary activism to include these people and support these people too, you are a bad activist and frankly being transphobic -- not only towards masculine nonbinary people, but also towards the feminine/androgynous nonbinary people who you're not so subtly trying to simplify to "woman-lite".

[yharnamsnewslug]

Don’t leave trans men out when you talk about abortion, fuckwads.

[jovialgnomejpeg]

honestly shout out 2 boring trans people who are out here looking like the MOST average motherfuckers. nothing but love 2 all of you who have Wild fashion styles bc That Fucks & i wish that was me but also i love seeing trans people who look like theyre about to go to a PTA meeting

[enby-life]

*leaning in real close to the mic*

Nonbinary men, I love you and you look very handsome today and I’m glad you exist

Nonbinary men who don’t like being called handsome, you look absolutely wonderful today and I’m glad you exist

Nonbinary men who consider themselves mlm, your attraction to men is wonderful and I’m glad you exist

Nonbinary men who consider themselves mlw, your attraction to women is amazing and I’m glad you exist

Nonbinary men who consider themselves mlnb, your attraction to nonbinary people is beautiful and I’m glad you exist

Nonbinary men who don’t experience attraction/don’t consider themselves any of the above, you are amazing and wonderful and I am so glad that you exist.

[This is a positivity post for nonbinary men/primarily masc presenting nonbinary people/anyone who feels this post applies to them. Do not try to make this about another group. You will be called a little bitchass publicly]

[foxtrottz-deactivated20221209]

all mlm love is beautiful..whether it’s romantic and soft and starry eyed, all holding hands under blankets, curled up on the couch and giggling whenever we sneak a kiss, whether it’s passionate and intense, hot, filled with deep, boundless, sometimes scary, love…whether it’s simple and quiet and quaint, frugal, listening to music through my headphones as i watch you paint from the corner of my eye, existing together….all of it. mlm love doesn’t have to look any certain way and all of it is just as beautiful.

[unknought]

It really is pretty dramatic how almost every article about how trans people are placing unreasonable demands on society focuses primarily on transfeminine people and almost every article about how trans people are poor delusional victims of the medical-industrial complex focuses primarily on transmasculine people.

[unknought]

This point felt less obvious back when there wasn’t a book called The Transgender Craze Seducing Our Daughters.

[enby-life]

Interpret this as you will. I’m going to bed

[enby-life]

[transmenarebeautiful]

As a mentally ill trans man I'm gonna also interpret this about trans men and transmasculine people if that's cool with you OP

[miraculouslumination]

If you feel like trans men and/or transmascs have to redeem themselves and/or prove their worth in some way to you because of their identity

Then I think there is something DEEPLY wrong with you

[lixxarou-deactivated20231023]

trans men belong in men's spaces.

achillean trans men belong in gay bars.

whether they are pre-op/post-op or pre-t/on t. doesn't matter.

trans men are men.

[cuntess-carmilla]

Not to be sappy but gay lust is so healing. Yes I said lust, not love. That too though.

[transmenarebeautiful]

Trans lust is so healing

[intersex-support]

I don’t know what happened to the ask that mentioned this, but intersex people and trans/nonbinary people do have a lot in common. I don’t think that’s a statement that is untrue, and I think that it’s a belief that a lot of dyadic trans and nonbinary people hold, I also think that we can take that a step further and say that intersex people share similarities and struggles with any group that experiences marginalization based on the strict/binary colonial gender system. Essentially that’s why intersex as a community exists, to define our experiences of marginalization and create a boundary of who we are/who we aren’t in order to bring our voices and narratives to the table. 

We have fundamental difference between us and our dyadic peers, but historically before we created (or while we were beginning to organize ourselves) our own sorts of communities, we were a huge part of the building of the LGBT+ community and shared a lot of struggles. I also think that intersex people have contributed a lot to feminism, a lot of intersex people of color connect their identity to speaking on racial injustice, a lot of intersex people share a lot in common with and consider themselves apart of the disabled community.

Before we say that intersex people are or are not inherently a part of a certain community, I think we need to recognize that intersex people have been a part of and advocated for and existed alongside multiple communities since the beginning. I think we owe it to those who came before us to learn about the alliances and achievements they had together, the relationships and understanding and power that came form us listening to each other and allying together while staying true to our differences.

Acronym discourse I would say is ultimately useless, because we were here before it, our history has just been erased and hidden behind shame and paywalls. Inclusion means including our narratives and voices regardless of if we are somehow inherently a part of a community. 

[genderoutlaws]

The first FTM contingent at San Francisco Pride | 1994

L to R: Max Wolf Valerio, Matt Rice, David Harrison, Susan Stryker holding daughter, unknown, Loren Cameron, unknown.