I haven't written fiction in years! I forgot how much fun it is...
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@cristobal--rendon--acosta
I haven't written fiction in years! I forgot how much fun it is...
I'm trying to have fun writing again. I've missed doing this...
The Weight Of Sand - Chapter 2: Tribe (on Wattpad) https://www.wattpad.com/746606046-the-weight-of-sand-chapter-2-tribe?utm_source=web&utm_medium=tumblr&utm_content=share_reading Sarai has always had a unique role in her desert tribe. As the daughter of the chief she has been allowed to roam free and hunt with the men, much to her mother's embarrassment. But when her father dies and her position becomes that of any other women, will she leave home or make it work?
Sunday Morning
I used to be interesting I swear. But then I became a teacher. Now I hibernate on the weekends and stumble confused from room to room during the week. Like, everyone said teaching was going to be hard, but the word Hard doesn’t even come close to describing what I’m feeling. Dude, this shit is mind numbing. Everyone wants something different from you, EVERYONE. And as a teacher, you’re supposed to give everyone exactly what they need. There’s even a word for teachers that do this well: Differentiation.Â
I just watched a youtube video of some guy ranting about why Tumblr is this great community and now it’s a lot less of one because of the ban on adult content. IDK if that’s true, I just needed somewhere to vent that has the semblence of being heard.
I want to drive my car over the cliff. It would be so easy; there’s no barrier holding me back. Timing would be all that matters, falling in with the waves high so they catch the car and pull…
I keep posting these because maybe someone will read them and be like, ooh, neat.Â
ni de aquĂ, ni de allá I’m not from here Or there, I say when my political sociology professor points out, almost accusingly, a trend among my generation against identifying as American. I raise my…
another one
I support a #CleanDreamAct that provides a pathway to citizenship for immigrant youth. Join me! Sign & retweet: thndr.me/jANQIz http://thndr.me/jANQIz
One of the reasons modern news media, in all its forms, has such a strong presence of bias is due to the forced attempts at balance. While Balance it meant to give both sides on any given is…
Another one
2018
How is today different from yesterday? How can I remember this year from any other of the past two decades? The changes aren't apparent on our streets. Looking out my window, my neighborhood could be confused with 2002, 2008, 2014, 2018. The first two decades of our second millennium flow indistinguishable from one another.
From my yard, a small fenced off patch of grass in front of my apartment, little of the street around me hints at the year. To the untrained eye, the old people's home next door looks as it has since its creation in the early seventies. The house across the street is a single story with a dish on top. A church with a high steeple hovers in the distance, the cross on top reaches me, as do the grey shingles of the megachurch roof.
To the untrained eye, a time traveler perhaps, would find it possible to judge the era based on its surroundings. The changes are here, but as everything about the new millennium, they are subtle and hidden. Software has overtaken hardware. The asphalt mixture of the roads is new, a combination that resists sun bleaching and the heavy load of a million cars passing a million times. Only one house has a satellite dish. Early in the millennium, it was all houses and apartments. Yet today, at the beginning of 2018, only one house on my entire street has one. The software inside has been upgraded. WiFi doesn't require a ludicrous bubble on a roof.
The only indicator that has consistently carried my generation is the automobile.
The buildings, the city, it mostly stay the static. So few buildings have been erected, and the few that have imitate the past. But the mixture in the asphalt is new, and so are the cars. We move faster and sleeker, weaving in and out of what already exists. Not changing it. No, we change little. It scares us. Instead, we add on, a drive through on this building, another one there. That is who we are in the first two decades of the millennium, creatures choosing to update oneself instead of the surroundings.
And because of this, America is best described by its cars. In Los Angeles, the rich and conscientious drive Teslas. Statements are made and maintained instinctively. Conscientious and okay drive Priuses. Rich and don't care rove in land rovers and sports cars. Okay and don’t care speed in Audis and Volkswagens. The poor immigrant drives Toyota. It doesn't matter where the immigrant is from, if they are poor they drive a Toyota: Mexican, Armenian, everyone from everywhere. Rich immigrants drive BMW.
And with each passing year, the cars get collectively sleeker. Chrome is added mid-decade and removed by its end. Smaller. Faster. New cars drive hard and reckless between old buildings that watch them pass and change with outstanding speed. By the end of the second-decade cars are big and ludacris again.
I've often said the if all cars were removed from the streets, living in the city would be indistinguishable from 2002 to now, 2018. Same people same styles. Same city same issues. Nothing has changed in American society in the last twenty years, nothing but our cars to separate us.
I don't know if this is a positive post or not. We're so caught up in the software, in our phones, that we don't notice the lack of progress, physically, around us because of the quick pace of "new" information.
Maybe as new money changed the old money of the past, America will again have a decade in the twenties that will change everything... Or nothing. To be fair, unless a historian is asked, there’s no palpable distinction from the 1900’s and the 1910’s ( it’s all the age of the great war).
Here's hoping the memes are right and there will be a new golden age.
Clear Sky, 59°F
Anyone can find the dirt in someone. Be the one who finds gold.
I think of a mirror when a metaphor like that slides into view. I'd like to see the gold in myself, but even more than that I'd love for someone else to find it in me.
I'm by no means perfect. Even more, I don't pretend to be anything but average. Yes, my mind is sharp and carries a strong filter. But socially I'm just another brown boy in the mix. This isn't bad exactly. I've long stopped viewing the world as a place with good and bad. I thrive in the grey. In an academic world, I'm better than most. Maybe this is one reason why the idea of being a teacher excites me. I mean, in theory, the goal of academia is to make more teachers. Since I'm great at school it's inevitable that I'll be a great teacher too.
I'll stop there. It's a small post today, just a quick message to remind myself I'm still alive.
I will add this though, that when I find someone that sees the best in me, I hope I can see it in them too.
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Few Clouds, 78°F
The air still smells of ash. I’m sitting next to an IN-N-OUT, so the scent changes with the breeze. When the wind is strong, smoke takes center stage and I have to fight the urge to huff tiny breaths. But when the wind settles, all I take in is the smell of Burgers and fries. I don’t know what I’m doing outside. The smart thing would be to stay indoors, except I’ve done that for the past week and now I feel crazy; like I need to go outside even if it’s just to walk around the block. I finally know how my cat feels in the evenings when I come home from studying and she’s clawing at the door begging for me to open it. I thought it was funny that she literally argued at the door as if willing it to open with the threat of sharp claws, only to fall asleep beneath a bush when the door finally gave. After a week of sealed doors and windows, I felt like my cat. I walked around the valley and took a bunch of buses nowhere just because I could. I eventually ended up here, on the patio of a Starbucks adjacent to in-n-out. It’s a busy place called the plant, a site that used to have a giant car manufacturer that left in the eighties. Retail has taken over, the same as most of Los Angeles, transformed into a strip mall. I’m not complaining though. There is a lot of traffic here, both foot and vehicle. My clustered soul feels like it can finally breathe-in freedom even though I still have my nostrils full of ash.
I had a job interview Monday, on the eve of the fires. I thought it went well, but now I doubt I’ll get an answer soon. Why? Because the place I interviewed in is currently being evacuated because of the creek fire. I’ve long stopped trying to change the things I have no control over, so I’m not bummed, just tickled. Is that okay to say? Things tickle me, make me chuckle not at myself or at the world with cynicism, but in general. Sometimes I laugh, sometimes I freak and slap hands away when I’m being tickled, life can tickle me too. It sounds weird and kind of gross, but that’s the only way I can explain my relationship with the world. Good or bad, things just tickle me, pull my attention enough for me to say, well that was something.
I’m going to watch Coco soon. I’m lucky in that there’s a Spanish dubbed screening near me, at the Plant - you know you’re from the valley when people say I’ll meet you at the plant and you understand. I’m meeting up with my parents. There aren’t many movies they can see in theatres because it’s usually better to wait for the DVD or Netflix version with Spanish options. But times, they are changing. I feel like theatres are only just realizing there are so many Spanish speaking people in the valley, enough to carry their own market. The Plant has had Spanish only movies for a few years and is thriving again. Other theatres choose to upgrade, like the Cinemark on Coldwater. They installed wicked new seats the recline. Don’t get me wrong, I love those seats, but upgrading hardware isn’t the only option to improve a product - the software is just as important.
There are parts of Louisiana that speak Creole, so much so that street and freeway signs are both in English and a French patois. Some parts of Maine are the same with plain old french. There are sections of Orange County with Vietnamese lettering everywhere. I’d like to live in the part of California where everything is in Spanish and English, an area all its own known not just for its people and language, but for its success. I don’t know if adding Spanish options will improve the economy, but from my own experience, it seems an untapped medium. I mean, in my home we have ditched all forms of cable because Sling TV has this Spanish only option. Instead of paying $100 plus a year from any of the local providers, we pay $10 for the twenty or so channels my parents like.
I guess I’m just trying to make my community thrive like I see other communities around me do so already. I like pointing to the Armenian community in Glendale. I just read an article in the Atlantic that detailed a beautiful segment of the Armenian culture and community, one where the subjects of the article boast about never needing to learn English because he can survive there just fine speaking only Armenian.
I know I think differently from most Americans. I’m positive a few readers will take this as an affront to English. I speak English, it’s my first language and I have a degree in English too. Yet, it’s because of my intimate understanding of the language that I realize languages are insufficient at conveying meaning, truly. That’s why some things are lost in translation and others murdered. I personally think cities grow, not die, by having more languages spoken. It would be nice to have a section of the city my parents can go to and be understood, more so than the chopped up "Hablamos Espanol."
Maybe next time I’ll talk about assimilation.
What’s funny is that I meant this post to be about music, but things change once you actually start writing. This is the first post I write on my computer. For some reason, I only feel intimate enough to write personal stuff on my phone. Maybe it’s because my phone lets me lay in bed and type with one hand while the other pets my cat. Maybe it’s the purring of my British shorthaired, a skinny thing that demands attention with claw pokes to the face, that allows me to say what I mean. This post feels a bit more analytical than my other entries. I blame my cat.
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My Twitter did a thing
“take an art class and get depressed” got me fucked up rn
On pointÂ
Smoke, 49°F
No fancy talk today, I have nothing clever to say. The world is on fire. There's so much ash in the air that I've felt like sneezing all morning; and when I do sneeze, my snot stains brown. I'm lucky, no evacuation, not even close. But I can see the red in the distance. I CAN SEE THE RED IN THE DISTANCE.
What scares me most isn't breathing through a face mask in my own home, it's comprehending the possibility that the ash I'm breathing in was someone else's home, bike, bedroom. A friend who's house actually burned down hasn't found their cat. Ash.
Living in Los Angeles, there are a lot of things I fear innately. I fear the police because I'm tall and brown. I fear driving on main streets at night on weekends because of drunk drivers. I fear I'll be on the toilet when the big earthquake finally hits. But this was the first time I woke up thinking the world was ending. This was the first time I woke up coughing and thinking I'd hack myself to death. To be fair, I sleep with the windows open. Stale air depresses me. Bad idea; my sheets and blankets were covered in grey dust that scattered when I moved.
There is still a thick layer of ash beneath each lattice.
My community college is taking in horses whos stables burned down. My university closed early. Me, I stayed in bed all day, beneath the covers. No shame, I can't breath.
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getting replies on posts is one of the most fun things on this site for me and i just want u all to know u are EXTREMELY welcome to reply to all my posts even if u think its silly or irrelevant or just an emoji i dont care this blog is a talking zone not a silent aesthetic zone