An occupation that I didnt know existed until now
Monterey Bay Aquarium
ojovivo

Janaina Medeiros
$LAYYYTER
Cosmic Funnies

祝日 / Permanent Vacation

Andulka
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

No title available
almost home

Product Placement
todays bird
hello vonnie
DEAR READER
h
🪼
Peter Solarz
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
AnasAbdin
wallacepolsom

seen from Brazil

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@trash-a
An occupation that I didnt know existed until now
Petition to change “he looked at her like she was the sun” to “he looked at her like she was the moon” and any other variation bc I look at the moon in wonder and love and amazement while I’ve only ever just squinted angrily at the sun
He looked at her like she was the sun, in that he never looked at her except in frustration. He basked in her warmth, he complained when she was gone, but he never looked. On days she was muted, he complained. On days she was stronger, he hid from her. He never looked at her until she was leaving, and in the beauty of the sunset he wondered how he’d never seen her before.
dude
me as a parent
may we see one of your best boys.... please.....
when mcdonalds accidentally gives you an extra chicken nugget
The most ridiculous complaints that customers have made to me
“One of your cashiers has a huge zit on her cheek. It was gross looking and I lost my appetite. She should have popped it before she came in this morning.”
“The cashier over there was counting money. As a joke, my ten-year-old started shouting random numbers. The cashier made an angry face and now my son is upset. He has no right to get angry at a little kid who doesn’t know any better.”
“Cashiers shouldn’t be drinking water bottles while on the clock. What if they put vodka in there?”
“One of your employees has way too many tattoos and does her makeup way too dark. I don’t like her funky colored hair either. It’s trashy and unprofessional. I won’t be shopping here anymore.”
“If the pregnant girl wanted to have relations out of wedlock, that’s up to her, but she should be wearing a fake wedding band while she’s working. I don’t want my children to think that premarital sex is okay.”
“Some of your cigarettes are marked as ”$1 off". You shouldn’t sell them. They condone smoking.“
“I was told I couldn’t bring my 15-year-old son into the liquor section. It wasn’t like I was buying booze for him!”
“The cashier farted silently while she was ringing me up. It smelled horrible.”
“You shouldn’t allow people to bring their service dogs in the store. I don’t like dogs. They make me uncomfortable.”
“You really shouldn’t let your employees go home in the middle of a rush.”
“I let my son eat a banana while I was shopping. I told the cashier. She said that bananas go by weight and she can’t ring them up without the actual product. She told me it was fine and just to remember for the next time, but I know she didn’t mean it so I felt obligated to run all the way back to the produce department and grab another one so that she could charge me.”
“There are way too many foreigners working here. You should be more concerned about making sure Americans are employed.”
“You should build a separate bathroom for employees.”
“I pulled into a handicap spot. One of your cart pushers told me I had to move. I may not be handicapped but I have had a very long day and I don’t have the energy to walk across the entire parking lot.”
“Not hiring my son because of his age is discrimination. I got him his working papers on his 14th birthday last week. That should be enough.”
“Cashiers shouldn’t let customers bag their own purchases under any circumstances.”
Wow people are awful
the only way to read these is in a white suburban mom voice
how does somebody write “i’m sorry, the old taylor can’t come to the phone right now. why? oh. cause she’s dead” and not become immediately nauseated that is the most embarrassing lyric ive ever heard how does that make it into your single and who even thought this new weird edgesona was a good idea in the first pl
Taylor fucking killed her
im sorry the old dajo42 cant come to the phone right now
the duality of a man
Moulay Hassan, Crown Prince of Morocco hates it when you try to kiss his hand.
Thas the fastest snatch ever
parents: the real world is gonna bite you in the ass!!!!11!11 me: damn the real world a freak
me counting the allowance your father gives me