If you aren't dying are you really living?

Man fears death and yet, at the same time, man is drawn to death. Death is endlessly consumed by man in cities and in literature. It is a singular event in one's life that none may reverse. That is what I desire." Dazai from Bungo stray dogs || Sideblog to bastardantichrist

[contracore]

PYRLSPITE‌.

due to personal reasons I will be cheating death

[buckykingofmemes]

i’d follow him to hell and back but i wish he’d just stop going there

[trashratman]

rainofechoes‌:

trashratman‌

“Shut the hell up Chuuya.” Dazai muttered under his breath, taking a longer swig of his drink, his mood ruined. “I need harder liquor…”

Welcome to the club, asshole.

Chuuya rolled his eyes at that comment, downing the rest of his wine. “Order it, then. You’re already here.”

He set his empty glass down. “Whiskey, two.” He held up his fingers and then pointed at Chuuya, then him.

[trashratman]

His eyes narrow as Dazai dares to touch him so familiarly, even going as far as using force that Chuuya could easily overpower him in response to. If they weren’t in a normal bar, he would sock him into next week for having the balls to act like this towards him.

“Oh, so noble. Desecrating the dead and blowing up my stuff can just get wiped away by faking your own death on a whim. Isn’t the world great.” He bit out as he brought his glass of wine back up to his lips.

“Shut the hell up Chuuya.” Dazai muttered under his breath, taking a longer swig of his drink, his mood ruined. “I need harder liquor...”

[hazardsoflove]

“Queen,” Andrew said somewhere behind Neil.

[trashratman]

Chuuya swatted his hand away with more force than necessary, the sound catching the bartender’s attention before he averted his eyes again. Every second around Dazai just made him more irritated. It was only worse when he thought about how flippant he was being about his utter betrayal. 

“I know who you are better than anyone, Dazai.” He snapped at him, though his gaze did come right back to fall on that stupid face. “You are cruel and heartless. The Port Mafia was where you belonged. Surviving? What bullshit.”

He clenched his jaw, quick as a snake grabbing Chuuya’s chin and gripping it. “Why I left is none of your concern, Chuuya.” His eyes darkened, his grip tightened for a moment before he let go and returned to his drink.

“I’m trying to be different. I couldn’t be with the Mafia anymore. But leaving the Port Mafia--” Leaving you-- “Was hard. Don’t ever think you know me, that you would think it was easy.”

[trashratman]

rainofechoes‌:

trashratman‌

The smile faltered for a moment before he brightened. “Well I’m alive, so lets throw an orgy. Well, an orgy of two, I suppose that’s not an orgy then is it.”

“Only if you bring all of your shit personalities. You’re pretty set on lying to those dumb detectives, making them think you’re a totally different person. It’s disgusting how you can lie about yourself like that.” He growled as he looked away with a flip of his hair.

Dazai picked up his glass and took a slow drink. “Its called surviving, Chuuya, nevermind what I was. What I am not is who I am and I don’t really see the point of telling them who I used to be.” Convoluted maybe, but that’s how Dazai convinced himself of the lie and lived with it. “Besides. I have you to remind me who I used to be, so there’s my penance. Awww Chuuya don’t look away from me...” He reached out, flicking one of the fine chains hanging from the brim of the hat.

[trashratman]

rainofechoes‌:

trashratman‌

Dazai gave him a smug smile as Chuuya ordered his drink, folding his hands on the bar now. “You’d miss me Chuuyyyaa. Admit it.” He enjoyed tormenting the ginger.

“You were already dead once and I threw a party. Never looked back once.” He denied swiftly as the glass was slid in front of Dazai, the scotch slowly poured over the perfect ball of ice.

The smile faltered for a moment before he brightened. “Well I’m alive, so lets throw and orgy. Well, an orgy of two, I suppose that’s not an orgy then is it.”

[trashratman]

rainofechoes‌:

trashratman‌

“You wound me!” Dazai fake gasped, putting a hand to his heart. “Absolutely crushing me. Why not buy me a drink so I can drown myself in it?”

“Scotch, rocks.” Chuuya ordered, knowing exactly what Dazai drank. They weren’t strangers to bars. “Save me the trouble of looking at you, then.”

Dazai gave him a smug smile as Chuuya ordered his drink, folding his hands on the bar now. “You’d miss me Chuuyyyaa. Admit it.” He enjoyed tormenting the ginger.

[trashratman]

“Probably. But i can’t think of anything right now, so here i am, bothering you. Are you really that unhappy about seeing me?” He settled on the barstool, folding one long leg over the other and leaning on his hand.

“Your face spoils everything in the room, you absolute waste of bandages.” He scoffed.

“You wound me!” Dazai fake gasped, putting a hand to his heart. “Absolutely crushing me. Why not buy me a drink so I can drown myself in it?”

[trashratman]

rainofechoes‌:

trashratman‌:

rainofechoes‌:

@trashratman

“My day just got worse and you haven’t even opened your mouth yet.”

“Allow me to brighten your day then, Chuuuuuyaaaa.”

“There must be a million better things for you to do than show up at this bar and say my name with that shit-spilling mouth.”

“Probably. But i can’t think of anything right now, so here i am, bothering you. Are you really that unhappy about seeing me?” He settled on the barstool, folding one long leg over the other and leaning on his hand.

[cfmusings-blog]

    just how d a m a g e d                                                                       ——–have I become?

[trashratman]

rainofechoes‌:

@trashratman

“My day just got worse and you haven’t even opened your mouth yet.”

“Allow me to brighten your day then, Chuuuuuyaaaa.”