me tongue-deep in a sandalwood candle: 🤤
the tjmaxx employee loading a fourth tranquilizer dart into their blowgun: i need backup
YOU ARE THE REASON

★
Noah Kahan

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The Stonewall Inn
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#extradirty
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almost home

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if i look back, i am lost
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@trashredpanda
me tongue-deep in a sandalwood candle: 🤤
the tjmaxx employee loading a fourth tranquilizer dart into their blowgun: i need backup
please please $600 is all I need. This is the last request I swear. Again my friend is on suicide watch. She hadn't eaten at all and she can eat what I have him. I need her to have a full meal. So help me get groceries to help my dearest friend.
PAYPAL
🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
Please everyone I need $600 so when I make it to my friend I can buy us food (I don't have food stamps atm). Again, she hadn't been eating. She's on suicide watch. She just got out of the ER because of her spine. I want to buy groceries and cook for her so she can have food, she's been losing weight. I mean it. I want to keep my friend alive. Please help me keep her alive. Her family disowned her and many of her friends left her when she needed them. I'm her only help and I want to be that person.
🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
PLEASE HELP ME KEEP MY FRIEND ALIVE, SHES MY WHOLE WORLD. EVEN SMALL DONATIONS ARE OKAY PLEASE. PAYPAL
Vic who goes to a party, ends up taking a pill and calls cassie because she's panicking, poor thing :( is soooo scared of triggering cassie but she doesn't know who else to call because nobody else she knows has experience with drugs, and cassie doing all she can to help her
I hope you don't mind I'm going to tweak this a little bit! The spirit of your prompt will remain the same but my *personal* headcanon can't conceptualize Victoria taking a random pill. Smoking weed, though...well...
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The science-based, logical part of Victoria's brain says "the marijuana was cut with something" and "Trinity's friends were lying about buying the stuff legally in Jersey. It's street weed. It's not pure."
But Trinity had left - Victoria had promised her three times it was okay that she left. Victoria said she was fine, she liked Trinity's friends, she wanted to feel like she had a life for once, y'know, stay out late, get to know strangers....
But then the smoking started. And she'd tried it once before! So she said yes.
Where was she, again? Victoria , standing alone against the bathroom door (she'd run away from her new acquaintences when the panic hit) desperately tries to clear her head.. Right. Trinity had left. And the scienc-y part of her brain is rapidly slipping away, as the high stays for way longer than it was supposed to from just two hits. She starts to breathe funny, and her vision starts to swim.
Shit...she needs to not be here.
Hates the first idea that pops into her mind. But she knows it's the only right answer.
Please, Gods up there, forgive her.
___________________________________________________________
The phone rings only twice,
"Vic?" comes Cassie's sleepy voice.
Victoria, immediately relieved but also guilty and terrified, starts *sobbing*
"Please don't be mad - " a hiccup through sobs " - I need, I need...I need - " she gets stuck in a loop. Can't get anything else out. Is her heart beating too fast?
"Victoria. What happened? Where are you?" Cassie is sitting up straight in bed, her heart pounding too. Then standing up, already putting clothes on with her phone pressed to her ear by her shoulder.
Victoria blurts out the bar name before she forgets it, "I was stupid. Smoked some weed with Trinity's friends. She left earlier. I don't - I think - " whines as the bathroom tiles look wrong wrong WRONG, closes her eyes - "it was bad stuff. I don't know what's happening to me. Please. I need you. M'sorry."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Cassie comes bursting in, a storm of anxiety and fear, furious with herself for not having asked Vic *where*, exactly *where* was she, before she lost her to the younger girl's phone dying.
She scoped out the bar, quickly peaked outside in the alley, but whoever Victoria had been hanging out with was gone now.
They left her. They left her girl (she wasn't her girl), they fucking LEFT her.
She finds Victoria in the bathroom, sweaty and shaking, slumped against the wall under the sinks.
She immediately feels vertigo threaten to overtake her. Because it's like peering through the looking glass, isn't it?
This is what people saw of her. She was standing in front of herself, in a way and -
No. No she wasn't. Cassie, stop it.
Cassie collapses onto the floor and pulls Vic against her. Feels her pulse (fast, but strong). Her temperature (clammy, but normal). Good...these things are good.
Vic groans, leans against her even though she hasn't seen that it's *her* yet, and Cassie gets so sick to her stomach at the fact she could have been anyone that she closes her eyes for a second, too.
Then she snaps out of it.
"Victoria, honey, open your eyes. Can you hear me?"
"Yeah, m'fine," Victoria says quietly, "can't open them. Room starts looking scary and- " but that's all she gets. Did Victoria nod off?? "Please, just for a minute" Cassie urges, loudly. Victoria, thank god, listens.
Cassie leans in, can smell at least some alcohol on Victoria's breath - not a good combination!!! - and sees that her pupils are constricted.
She thinks, possible opiod lacing.
She thinks, no, not Victoria.
Not when this was only *some accident*.
Not when she survived years of doing this kind of shit on purpose.
Certainly not Victoria, when it could have been her instead.
She lifts Victoria into her arms. Cuts into the back alley. Darts around the building.
When she has sight of her car, Cassie *runs*.
Part 2
Cassie, willing herself to keep calm, weighs her options.
Deep down, she knows that Victoria doesn’t need the hospital. She was holding her own head up (mostly) as she faded in and out of awareness in the passenger seat. Frequently groaning, or whimpering in a way that broke Cassie’s heart, but also assuring her that she was breathing adequately.
She uses her right arm as extra support, pressing the girl lightly backwards as she carefully, ever so carefully drives to her apartment 15 minutes away.
She has her street team bag. Victoria would be ok.
She would be ok.
(Like a prayer: she would be okay.)
——————————-
Placing an IV in her tiny, weirdly shaped bathroom wasn’t ideal.
But she doesn’t have an IV stand, has to Jerry-rig the saline bag over her shower-curtain, and she doesn’t want Victoria lying flat just yet anyway.
When the bag is half empty, and the ice packs under her armpits are starting to sag and become warm, Victoria starts to come to.
“Fuck,” she bites out, dizzy and disoriented, slowly willing her eyes to open.
Cassie’s bright blue irises, pupils dilated in barely hidden panic, are the first thing to greet her.
Her stomach clenches with guilt, which quickly turns into nausea. She’s throwing up into the toilet with her mentor soothingly rubbing her back within seconds.
“Oh sweetie,” Cassie murmurs when she is finished, pulling her tight against her chest on the bathroom floor.
Victoria spins around to hide her face in Cassie’s neck, clawing deep into the fabric of her sweatshirt.
She can’t stop repeating through her tears:
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so, I’m sor-
Cassie feels a tear run down her own cheek and presses a kiss against the crown of Victoria’s head.
“Shhhh, shhhh. When you’re all better we’re going to talk about how to make sure this never happens again. But you don’t have anything to be sorry for. You called exactly the right person.”
‘Yeah, you are. My person.’ Victoria thinks, shocked by the clarity of the realization.
‘My person, my Cassie.’ She thinks again, but doesn’t dare to say.
Cassie holds her tighter. Maybe she hears it anyway.
Cassie on the couch watching the World Cup while Victoria is forced to sit on the strap.
Whenever someone scores a goal or something exciting happens Cassie moves around and Victoria has to suffer being bounced around.
Someone plz turn this into a fanfic 🙏🏼
*DISCLAIMER: i'm tired and read "strap" as "lap" so this is cute instead of horny i'm SORRY*
"Vic," Cassie chuckled, tightening her grip on Victoria's waist with both her hands, fingers spread wide on bare skin underneath the younger girl's T-Shirt, "stop squirming."
"Sorry, I just don't know what's happening. Why'd they stop playing again? This is boring." Victoria huffed and settled back more firmly against Cassie's chest.
"Brat," Cassie teased, pinching her. She then began to explain, long windedly, "So basically they're calling a hydration break, it's sort of new, sort of not, but *this* year it's happening no matter what the weather, because FIFA -
and so it went, pretty much up until the end of said break, Victoria intently listening just to enjoy the excitable rasp in her girlfriend's voice. Passion was really cute on her, ok?
The game resumed, and Cassie leaned forward to rest her chin on Victoria's shoulder.
Victoria sighed into the contact, watching the men sprint and flop around for a long while.
But on a particularly hard bit of contact by Argentina against Cape Verde, she suddenly found herself being nearly launched into the air as Cassie partially rose from the couch, yelling, "what the fuck!"
Victoria yelped girlishly, reaching down to grab at the outside of Cassie's thighs to steady herself, "Cassie!"
Cassie sat back down with a grumble and a casual nip at Victoria's ear. "Sorry, baby" she mumbled with her mouth still hovering there. She leaned back again and said at normal volume, teasing, "you could sit on your own couch cushion you know. It's available."
Victoria, who could almost still feel the pleasant rough jolt between her legs from being thrown around so easily, simply giggled and replied, "never."
"Okay. Hang tight then, cowgirl. Cuz I think the rest of this game is going to be bullshit."
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Sooo.....this gratuitous down-bad Cassie fic is what happens when I message @hermockingmouth some headcanons, decide I'm HOOKED on the idea of a panicking Cassie...and ask her for ideas on where to have Vic make Cassie freak. This turned out better than I imagined, and I hope you like it. Thank you!!! If AO3 would let me gift a chapter individually, I would.
She wishes there was a way to back out of this. A hospital donor, wanting to be performatively grateful for their actions during the Pittfest massacre last year, had rented out the nearest public pool on the Saturday after the first anniversary of the shooting. He even funded the hospital finding per-diem coverage for everyone who was on staff that day. And look - they did all deserve a break. ..... So maybe she was being a little cynical, calling the gesture performative. Maybe she was just feeling a little self conscious, looking in the hallway mirror at herself in a simple green twisted bikini top and fitted black board shorts. Was it finally time to forgo showing skin entirely, and opt for a one piece and cover up? She let her eyes roam over her faint stretch marks, her softening stomach. Decided, 'fuck it'. She'd looked worse. She'd looked better too...no, Cassie, stop it. Shook off her insecurities and grabbed her keys and book off her side table before she headed out the door. .......
whenever i see this in my notifications it feels like a kiss on the forehead
mcvadi recently started dating and cassie wanting to take things slow for victoria’s sake, meanwhile victoria just getting frustrated thinking cassie isn’t taking her hints at wanting to take things to the next level
Victoria was getting ready to go out with her friends (and Cassie!) with the sort of tenacity that could only come from a deep, unexpressed frustration.
Trinity was lying on her stomach, propped up on her elbows on Victoria’s bed, already completely dressed and done up, smirking with her in amusement.
"Is this too slutty?" Victoria gestured to her tight-black bando (they were back in, alright?) underneath her open button up shirt.
(*Cassie's* button up, one of the only ones she could find in her girlfriend's closet slim enough to fit her...but Trinity didn't need to know that.)
"Not that there's anything *wrong* with slutty, I'm definitely pro body-positivity and - "
"Crash. Shut up. Are you planning on wearing the shirt open?
"...like halfway. Yeah." She fixed the buttons so that if she leaned in any manner, the view down her shirt was, well, the complete picture.
She bent at the hips a little bit to test it out for herself. Giggled.
Trinity smiled at her when their eyes met in the mirror, "it's a little slutty. It's perfect. I think you're gonna get what you want, tonight."
Victoria froze. Began fixing her hair with more intensity.
"I don't know you mean."
"Suuuure. Listen, if McKay doesn't take you to bed, I'll do it. I mean, look at you."
"Ugh, control it!" Victoria turned around and playfully shoved Trinity's head into her pillow.
"mhmp," Trinity grumbled, before coming back up on her elbows. Her nose twitched, and her eyes got all curious. She dove back into the pillowcase.
Sat up after a moment, her grin absolutely shit-eating.
"Why does this smell all...masculine and woodsy? It can't be what I'm thinking...right?" (she knew it was).
Victoria flushed, eyes widening. She couldn't defend herself, like at all.
(When Trinity made one last quick stop to the bathroom, she practically dove into her bottom drawer to grab Cassie's stolen cologne. Sprayed just a little bit on her neck, to layer it with her own perfume.)
_____________________________________________
Cassie, thankfully, since it was the most crucial plot-point to her mission, cornered her in the hallway by the bar bathrooms the second she got the chance.
See, Victoria had been all over her all night. In front of all her friends. Who didn't blink an eye - because she kept it just on the right side of appropriate, and they were in their own worlds too, drinking and laughing and trying to convince each other to go pay for the Karaoke machine.
Cassie - even though she almost had an actual heart attack when her girlfriend of two months walked in wearing one of her goddamn shirts - was doing an infuriatingly good job of keeping her hands in appropriate places while Victoria sat on her lap. And was glancing down at the younger girl's chest only a totally normal number of times, alright?
She tried to listen to a question Trinity asked her, making eye contact around Victoria's head, but then Victoria leaned in and whispered, "kiss my neck",
Jesus. Cassie ignored her, talked to Trinity more loudly instead.
Victoria pressed herself closer and Cassie slammed her jaw shut, looked down to tell her off, nostrils flaring,
and that's when she caught it. Her own scent.
...
So...here they were, just ike Victoria wanted.
Cassie pressing her up against the wall in a dark corner like some pervert, knee angled up between Victoria's trembling thighs.
Victoria whimpering, begging so prettily, "please. Please."
"Please what, sweet girl?" Cassie asked, leaning in to inhale deeply against Victoria's jawline. Fuck.
They smelled so good together. "Why did you steal my cologne? And when?" she husked into the shell of Victoria's ear. Suckled on her earlobe. Then bit.
"Last week," Victoria gasped, "I - I wanted to spray it on my pillow." Cassie's stomach clenched. Oh. Surely, the girl couldn't mean...but she had to check: "Fuck. Yeah? Why, pretty thing?"
Victoria began to babble wantonly, nails digging to Cassie's back even through her thick T-shirt, "Wanted to make myself feel good. Wanted to be pressed into the mattress. If you weren't going to do it - needed, needed to smell you. Pretend you were everywhere. Don't you want to? Don't you need me too, Cassie?" Cassie's knee came up against her center as the older woman jerked forward involuntarily, groaning.
"Oh, Tori, " she cooed reaching up to pet at long black hair, "You could have asked - " she continued, voice heavy with want, but almost shy as well, totally overwhelmed by the gift spread out before her. The gift of this fucking. perfect. girl.
"I've been asking," Victoria whined, leaning into Cassie's hand. "You want me to be direct?" Cassie nodded into her collarbone.
Victoria, not unkindly, pushed the older woman backward so that she'd stand back up to her full height. Then she got up on her tiptoes, and crashed their lips together. She bit Cassie's lip hard, and said, pleadingly, as soon as Cassie'd dragged it free with a shocked, quiet whimper,
"take me home and fuck me, or I will go *insane*."
Cassie swallowed. Hard. Eyes wide and hazy.
"Okay?" Victoria checked in, quickly.
Cassie ran her tongue over own lips and said, throat raw with it,
"Shit. Okay. Okay."
She ran a shaky hand through her hair, grabbed Victoria by the wrist tightly and practically dragged her out through the emergency door.
saw this screenshot on twitter im turning evil why is she the saddest girl in the world… garcia you fumbled . someone take her on an actual date NOWW
A conversation between Parker and Yolanda that 100% happened a few hours after chapter 9 of my fic.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Kris, please accept my apology
The GOAT
The kids are aight
Victoria pulls McKay into the bathroom, and then into a stall. The shitty door slams so hard that it bounces back, and it takes Victoria a second attempt to lock it.
McKay startles, pressing herself against the scuffed up barely-more-than-plastic wall, as the young student rounds on her, eyes narrowed.
"Trinity is out there laughing. Says you've had your eyes on me all day. Asked me if I'm in trouble with mommy."
Victoria places her hand lightly over the front of McKay's throat, just to feel her swallow, to experience the way her pulse jumps. She steps in closer.
"Have you been staring, Dr. McKay? Why? Busy thinking about me riding your face last night?"
The older woman nods frantically, eyes wide, cheeks turning redder by the second. Victoria feels the tendons in her neck flex against her own small fingers.
"If people knew - they'd be sooo concerned about your power over me," Victoria laughs unkindly, but her eyes soften; it's part of their game, that's all. The cruel, dark sound makes Cassie shiver, and press her throat against Victoria's warm palm with undisguised want.
"Do you have power over me, Cassie?"
"N-" it comes out hoarse, almost silent. She coughs and tries again, "No. I don't."
"Mmm," Victoria hums her approval, drops her hand. Makes a show of looking the other woman up and down before focusing on lightly twitching hips. She smirks, keeping her eyes there, where she can imagine Cassie's arousal underneath thin fabric.
"Good. Then take care of your distraction yourself."
McKay balks, breaking character slightly, "Wh- Victoria, here?"
Victoria looks up nods at her reassuringly, almost condescendingly. Takes Cassie's wrist and begins guiding it down.
"You can be good, can't you? Make this problem go away for us, so nobody talks?"
Cassie shudders, nodding.
And slips her hand underneath her scrubs.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
“Fuck. Okay fine.” Cassie looked around, leaned in and hissed, “so I may be a little late to the ‘I’m gay. I like women’ thing.”
Parker quirked her eyebrow, waiting. Cassie gestured between them with one of her hands, a little frantically.
“I think Tori thought this would help me. Or something.” She finished weakly.
“Okay, so let me fill in the blanks,” she held up a finger, “of which there are many… you’re very vague, you know that?”
She continued without waiting for an answer,
“ So you’re a late in life bloomer. Let me guess, you figured it out a while ago, but our busy work schedule and your kid meant you didn’t have time to explore much, or make friends in the community? Doesn’t mean you need a Guru. I didn’t think Javadi would be so protective…or eager to share.”
McKay blanched. Parker laughed,
“Not like that, relax. Am I right though?”
“… no,” Cassie winced, “uh. This discovery might be. Let’s say…. 12 hours old?”
Vic who goes to a party, ends up taking a pill and calls cassie because she's panicking, poor thing :( is soooo scared of triggering cassie but she doesn't know who else to call because nobody else she knows has experience with drugs, and cassie doing all she can to help her
I hope you don't mind I'm going to tweak this a little bit! The spirit of your prompt will remain the same but my *personal* headcanon can't conceptualize Victoria taking a random pill. Smoking weed, though...well...
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The science-based, logical part of Victoria's brain says "the marijuana was cut with something" and "Trinity's friends were lying about buying the stuff legally in Jersey. It's street weed. It's not pure."
But Trinity had left - Victoria had promised her three times it was okay that she left. Victoria said she was fine, she liked Trinity's friends, she wanted to feel like she had a life for once, y'know, stay out late, get to know strangers....
But then the smoking started. And she'd tried it once before! So she said yes.
Where was she, again? Victoria , standing alone against the bathroom door (she'd run away from her new acquaintences when the panic hit) desperately tries to clear her head.. Right. Trinity had left. And the scienc-y part of her brain is rapidly slipping away, as the high stays for way longer than it was supposed to from just two hits. She starts to breathe funny, and her vision starts to swim.
Shit...she needs to not be here.
Hates the first idea that pops into her mind. But she knows it's the only right answer.
Please, Gods up there, forgive her.
___________________________________________________________
The phone rings only twice,
"Vic?" comes Cassie's sleepy voice.
Victoria, immediately relieved but also guilty and terrified, starts *sobbing*
"Please don't be mad - " a hiccup through sobs " - I need, I need...I need - " she gets stuck in a loop. Can't get anything else out. Is her heart beating too fast?
"Victoria. What happened? Where are you?" Cassie is sitting up straight in bed, her heart pounding too. Then standing up, already putting clothes on with her phone pressed to her ear by her shoulder.
Victoria blurts out the bar name before she forgets it, "I was stupid. Smoked some weed with Trinity's friends. She left earlier. I don't - I think - " whines as the bathroom tiles look wrong wrong WRONG, closes her eyes - "it was bad stuff. I don't know what's happening to me. Please. I need you. M'sorry."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Cassie comes bursting in, a storm of anxiety and fear, furious with herself for not having asked Vic *where*, exactly *where* was she, before she lost her to the younger girl's phone dying.
She scoped out the bar, quickly peaked outside in the alley, but whoever Victoria had been hanging out with was gone now.
They left her. They left her girl (she wasn't her girl), they fucking LEFT her.
She finds Victoria in the bathroom, sweaty and shaking, slumped against the wall under the sinks.
She immediately feels vertigo threaten to overtake her. Because it's like peering through the looking glass, isn't it?
This is what people saw of her. She was standing in front of herself, in a way and -
No. No she wasn't. Cassie, stop it.
Cassie collapses onto the floor and pulls Vic against her. Feels her pulse (fast, but strong). Her temperature (clammy, but normal). Good...these things are good.
Vic groans, leans against her even though she hasn't seen that it's *her* yet, and Cassie gets so sick to her stomach at the fact she could have been anyone that she closes her eyes for a second, too.
Then she snaps out of it.
"Victoria, honey, open your eyes. Can you hear me?"
"Yeah, m'fine," Victoria says quietly, "can't open them. Room starts looking scary and- " but that's all she gets. Did Victoria nod off?? "Please, just for a minute" Cassie urges, loudly. Victoria, thank god, listens.
Cassie leans in, can smell at least some alcohol on Victoria's breathe - not a good combination!!! - and sees that her pupils are constricted.
She thinks, possible opiod lacing.
She thinks, no, not Victoria.
Not when this was only *some accident*.
Not when she survived years of doing this kind of shit on purpose.
Certainly not Victoria, when it could have been her instead.
She lifts Victoria into her arms. Cuts into the back alley. Darts around the building.
When she has sight of her car, Cassie *runs*.
emotional cheating mcvadi😍😍😍😍😍 both seeing people but they can't stop giving each other goo goo eyes, cassie letting vic stay over after she babysits wayyyy more than she should, even cuddling on the couch together after a particularly hard shift with cassie desperately trying to convince herself her feelings for vic are purely maternal.
Ultimately, Cassie McKay’s life was a cosmic joke. She’d just returned from her 4th or 5th - who’s counting, not her, that’s a little desperate - date with her handsome former 4th of July patient, had kissed him as he held her by the hips up against his impressive car…
And now, standing in her living room doorway watching Victoria sleep on her couch, mouth open and thin t-shirt riding up…she was aroused.
She tried to convince herself it was a delayed effect from an objectively good make-out.
But they didn’t really have chemistry like that. He was nice, and she figured she’d eventually sleep with him to break the dry spell….
Victoria let out a little moan in her sleep, and one of her knees dropped open, exposing even more skin under her sleep shorts. Skin dangerously close to somewhere forbidden.
Yep. Nothing about Cassie was dry right now. She was going to pass out, probably. Would die and go to hell when she hit the floor, perhaps. Needed to move, to wake up Victoria and get her to leave, or run upstairs like she saw nothing and go to bed, definitely.
She went with running away, because of course she did. Peaking into Harrison’s bedroom to triple check he was safe before closing her bedroom door.
Staring at her ceiling as her hand repeatedly trailed down towards, and ripped away from her aching core.
—————————
“Oh um, I can’t tonight, sorry!” Victoria quickly replied to Mateo, her boyfriend of 3-months now, before continuing to type away on her phone in the break room.
“Then why are you smiling? You seem happy about it… I just miss ya, y’know?”
Victoria schooled her features, put her phone away guiltily and looked him.
“I know. I really am, sorry. Cassie just has me babysitting again…”
“Mhm. Sure.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing, nothing, just starting to seem like I’m dating someone with a kid.”
Victoria didn’t know why the bitter sentence gave her a little thrill. But she also didn’t have time to process it. Her phone buzzed in her pocket and she waited until Mateo all but stormed away to look at - and heart react - to a stupid “thank you” gif McKay had sent.