Literal Vampire Garbage

I'm still Twilight trash, waddup

[fungusamongusblg2]

[supermassivebutthole]

you're telling me that Bella "Simulates Killing Herself To Feel Something" Swan doesn't adopt a substance abuse problem after Edward leaves??? You're telling me Bella "Take My Soul, I Don't Want It Without You" Swan isn't a crossfaded mess when Alice comes to find her? That her hands don't shake from a comedown on the plane to Volterra, that she doesn't throw up in the stolen car ride through italy, that she's not absolutely sick as a DOG staring down the vampire government? That Edward's heart doesn't completely shatter realizing that her room smells like stale beer and weed smoke as he carries her up to her bed, that he never finds a stash of Charlie's muscle relaxers in her dresser drawer and absolutely freaks out? That the entirety of Eclipse shouldn't be about Bella struggling to kick her habit and struggling not to replace her addiction to substances with her addiction to Edward and struggling against his really puritanical ideas about Resisting Urges and having Self Control?

Pah.

[hoahoahoahoahoa]

I know I keep complaining about this but it doesn’t even make sense for Bella’s character to have super self-control as a Bonus Vampire Power. This is the girl that cut her arm open with a rock because she thought it was the only way to help in a vampire battle. This is the girl that constantly tried to seduce her vampire boyfriend with insane bloodlust and Superman-level strength knowing damn well she could die. When they had their first kiss she instantly lost control of her body and tried to climb him like a tree despite agreeing to “hold very still” 0.5 seconds prior. This is the girl that punched not one, but two werewolves in the face. She went cliff-diving on a whim when a storm was rolling in! Impulse control was never her strong suit.

We, as readers, were robbed of her feral newborn phase. Bella should’ve gone a little apeshit, as a treat

[hoahoahoahoahoa]

It is BANANAS that after over two and a half books of build-up to her gaining this super strength and speed, the culmination is like… 8 chapters fawning over her ability to not abuse these new powers.

Let her get carried away knocking trees down! Make her injure Emmett (just a little) getting a little overzealous with the arm wrestling! Let’s read her instincts taking over and taking a snap at her former best friend the first time she encounters him in wolf form!

Even if she doesn’t explicitly crave it I feel getting a little unhinged, however temporary, would be cathartic for her.

Hell, give Edward the gift of fussing over his feral wife— what the hell is he supposed to do in canon with all this surplus worried energy with which he’s armed himself? As it’s written, he’d be the first vampire in history to get an ulcer because he wasn’t gradually weaned off of his constant fretting. He can’t quit that shit cold turkey

[hoahoahoahoahoa]

@musingsofvenus YOUR MIND

[suitfer]

bella: where are your fangs?

[actuallymagsdump]

[lsabellaswans]

Charlie every time one of Bella's alliances suddenly changes:

[thirstyforbettertwilight]

they did edward so dirty in the movies sometimes but this. this is a BANGER line. Edward Cullen, champion of yearning, WOULD say that

[skintyfiia]

for once i dont hate this and yes i drew her again

[teamjacobthot]

not gonna lie…. and idk abt YALL…… but when the thorn bush turns white? THATS when I’ll come home… sooo…….

[edwardskhakipants]

Me: (into a megaphone) Bella Swan did nothing wrong!

*remembers that she wouldn't ride her motorcycle with Edward and he loves her so much, he pretended not to be utterly devastated*

Me: (quietly) Bella Swan did one thing wrong.

[smol-lizord]

Taking photos of snakes is a lot harder than you’d think 😂😭

[jdeko]

i thought you were protecting their identity

[forkswashington]

Kellan Lutz signing a copy of 'Twilight' on the set of 'Twilight'

[twilightsourceinforks]

NEW

Peter Facinelli reveals what he whispered in Robert Pattinson's ear when Carlisle bites Edward in Twilight

"I leaned in the first time, on the first take, and said, 'I'm sorry.' 'Cause I felt like Carlisle didn't really ask for permission — you should always ask for permission."

"On the second take, I leaned in and said, 'Rob, you're so handsome, and then he smiled a little bit. And that's the take that's in the movie," Facinelli explained.

[midnightspunisher]

In Midnight Sun, Edward really be like “if Bella thinks I’m ugly, that’s fine. Unrelated, what would be the quickest way to kill myself”

[forkswashington]

the entire population of deer in forks after another long hard day of avoiding the cullens in the woods

[hoahoahoahoahoa]

fic writers who let edward cullen be a silly goose: I am gently feeding you a treat from the palm of my hand. I love you

[twilight-af-deactivated20220701]

Bella: *pretending to listen to her friends*

Edward: she’s so thoughtful and kind

Bella’s thoughts: shut up shut up shut up shut up