Even if something can't be fixed, doesn't mean it's broken.

Wifey 💍| Mama 👼👶👶👶👶|| Trauma Surgeon

[trauma-kepner]

lousloan​:

“I wish my aim was that good.” The joke coming easily, trying to brush the awkwardness she felt under the rug. “Think there’s a very good reason I’m not in any sports.” She could deal with throwing props around, and that was about it - and even that had taken her a little too long to master for her liking. “A costume. Partly for Halloween, partly for college.” Nodding at the question, she gestured to the seat opposite her before trying to gather as much of her belongings onto one side of the table as she could. “It got surprisingly busy in here. was almost empty when I got here.” 

April laughed lightly, taking a seat where she had motioned a few moments prior. "I wasn't that great at sports, either. I did volleyball for a couple of years, but I wasn't any good," she commented, doing her best to make Lou feel at peace. She didn't think that she was an intimidating person, but she never knew what others were thinking. "A costume, that's cool. What's your idea? Or is that what you're trying to figure out?" April questioned, crossing her legs underneath the table. The redhead didn't come with any belongings, so she didn't mind Lou's being sprawled throughout the table. "Really? How long have you been here?"

[trauma-kepner]

youlisten​:

“A shot of tequila? Well after the day I’ve had… I’m in.” While she wasn’t young anymore and she had some terrible memories of nights with tequila, Jo was easily swayed and not as turned off to tequila as she was to something like fireball. With a smile after ordering the shots, she turned to April. “I’m hoping you had a better day than I did in trauma land?” Jo herself hadn’t had time to go anywhere near the pit today.tw

April's eyebrows arched in curiosity when Jo hinted at the bad day that she had. The redhead wanted to question her as to what was going on, but she figured that it may come up in conversation as the night went on. "Trauma land is always crazy, Jo," she laughed lightly, shaking her head in amusement. "But it wasn't too bad, really. What about you?" she questioned, reaching out for the shots of tequila as they were slid toward her. After handing one to Jo, she picked up the shot glass, took a pinch of salt, and downed the tequila quickly before sucking on the lime. "Woah, I haven't done this in ages!"

[trauma-kepner]

doctorlexipedia​:

Lexie ran her fingers gently through April’s hair when the other woman’s head found it’s way to her shoulder. “When you lose a child, the world falls apart for a little while. Trust me, I know,” she admitted quietly. “But you need to be honest with him. You.. You need to talk to him. Because this pain your feeling, he’s probably feeling a similar pain. You’re not the same people you were when it happened, and your relationship is so much stronger now than it was. You need to be able to talk to each other about it, otherwise it.. it’s just going to drive a wedge between you.”

April nodded with a small sigh, listening to Lexie's words. She knew that her friend was right, but it was difficult for the redhead to admit. It was hard for her to talk to Jackson about this because it was such a volatile time for the two of them. She didn't want to go back to that space with him. "I know we aren't the same... but I'm always scared, Lex. I'm so scared we could revert back to how it was when we lost... him," she whispered, pressing her palm against her eyelids. "Jackson and I are good.... like, we're really good. I just want him to be happy and don't want to bring up the past, you know?" she breathed, removing her hands from her eyes. After a few minutes, she pushed herself to a sitting position, looking over at her friend. "I'm sorry, Lex. I feel bad bringing you down... how are you? Things good in your household?"

[trauma-kepner]

docmarksloan​:

He chuckled and shrugged. “Most of these newbies don’t know how much of a jerk I used to be. So they might believe you if you say it.” He teased softly. In any case, he really wasn’t ashamed to say that the hospital was a better place because of April Kepner; because it was. Each member…most members…of the hospital staff brought something special and important and she was part of that crew. “Anything major on the agenda for the day?”

April thought about Mark's comment for a moment and realized that what he said was true; the newer doctors, surgeons, residents, interns... they wouldn't know how the old Mark was. Even she didn't fully know who the old Mark was. "Nope, thankfully I should have a relatively easy day. I haven't been sleeping the best lately, so I'm actually glad that I'm going to have a rather chill day. What about you, Dr. Sloan? Do you have anything exciting?"

[majesticmia]

Mia ran around the NICU like a chicken with it’s head cut off. The minute she got one baby to calm down, another would start up again. If she didn’t get that baby to calm down quick enough, it would cause a ripple effect and before she knew it, the entire room would be filled with crying babies. Mia did everything she could to quiet the little down but it turned out that her worst fears were coming true. Babies were crying from every inch of the room and Mia found herself crouched over in the corner on the verge of tears herself. When she saw the door to the NICU open, she cried out, “I can’t get them to stop screaming! Please, can you help me?”

[trauma-kepner]

April had been walking passed the NICU to fetch a lab for one of her patient's when she heard not only many babies crying, but also her daughter panicking. Stopping in her tracks, she headed into the room and toward one of the babies crying. "It's okay," she cooed, stroking the little one's face with her hand gently. In only a few seconds, that baby relaxed and calmed down and April headed toward another one of the crying babies. "You have to remain calm, baby. They can sense you're tension," April said to her daughter, offering her a sad, yet loving smile.

[youlisten]

Cheap drinks and bar peanuts were still a steeple of comfort for Jo after all of these years – especially after a really hard day with patients at the hospital. A GI hemorrhage caught too late and an incredibly sad case where care for a psychiatric patient had been turned away from a dick surgeon over at Seattle Pres had completely drained all of the natural Jo perkiness from her demeanor. Luckily for the bar patrons, a few drinks deep some of it had come back. At least enough to be offering free drinks to anyone with a long face in the bar. 

“I’m serious, next round’s on me. Whatever your tastebuds desire.”

[trauma-kepner]

April arched her brows at Joe's comment and appearance, quickly realizing that something must have happened. That or she just had a bad day at the hospital. Either way, the redhead wasn't one to deny a free drink, at least when it was coming from a friend that she trusted. Sliding into the seat next to Jo, April ordered herself a drink from the bartender, turning to look at her friend. "What are you drinking, Jo? We could always do a shot of tequila," she teased, bumping her hip against her friend's.

[roryxgreysloans]

“ i think i’ve watched 12 episodes of this show already today. ” rory took another bite from their bowl of ice cream, the spoon clanking against the bowl as it hit the bottom. “ it’s not even good i just…. can’t stop. ” they peeled their eyes away from the tv long enough to make eye contact with the person who’d just joined them in the room. “ please tell me you have something that will give me a reason to get off this couch.. that or you can join me. there’s more ice cream in the fridge. ”

[trauma-kepner]

"what show is it?" april asked curiously, leaning over the couch so that she could squint her eyes to look at the television. still, in those few moments, she didn't recognize what the show was, so she'd have to wait for rory to clue her in. "hmm, while i know i should convince you to be productive... ice cream does sound really good at the moment," she mused, turning her head toward the kitchen and back to the couch. "what do you think?"

[trauma-kepner]

"What do you say we head to the bar tonight after our shift? We could invite Jo and Jackson when they get off their shift," April suggested, shoving the iPad back into its charger before looking up at Alex. She pushed a strand of hair behind her ear, offering him a small smile. They had grown much closer over the years, and she considered Alex to be one of her best friends, even if he did treat her pretty shitty the first couple years she was a surgeon here. "I just need a night out."

@alexkarevac

[lousloan]

She wasn’t sure how long she’d been sitting in the coffee shop, but it was long enough to gather four cups in front of her and numerous bits of scrunched up paper. She’d been trying to design the perfect halloween costume and finding things wrong with each new sketch, no matter how small the ‘flaw’ was if it wasn’t perfect, the paper was discarded. Scrunching one up in annoyance, she threw it over to where the bin was - the fact it rolled back being her clue that she’d thrown it at someone. “Sorry.” She mumbled, leaning down to pick up the piece of paper without taking her eyes off the newest sketch. “My aim clearly leaves something to be desired.” 

[trauma-kepner]

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you intentionally threw this right at me," April commented, stepping aside as Lou picked up the piece of paper. She would have done it for the other person, but Lou had already taken the initiative to pick up her own garbage. "What are you working on that has you so focused?" the redhead questioned, taking a few steps closer to the table. "May I?" she asked, motioning toward the chair across from Lou. She didn't want to intrude if she wanted to be alone.

[damagedmontgomery]

With her back pressed up against a tree, Juliette sat alone in the park, her guitar in her lap. She didn’t have any work that day, so she was taking advantage. Music was always her best distraction. She wasn’t going to be able to see her dealer until that night, and she needed something to keep her mind off of the desperation she felt to use. She had been working on a few original songs since she had gotten released from prison. Working out a new riff, she thought it sounded okay, but she was always a little more insecure about her solo stuff, especially on an acoustic rather than her electric. She wasn’t paying much attention to anything else as she jotted things down on the paper next to her, until she glanced up and saw someone looking at her. “Can I help you?”

[trauma-kepner]

April had been going on a leisurely stroll through the park when she heard some music coming from nearby. Curious, the redhead made her way over toward the sounds, stopping a few feet away so as not to intrude too much on the young woman who was playing the music. "No, I'm just listening," she replied with a fond smile, shuffling over to a bench. "You're really talented," she added, her face soft and sincere.

[trauma-kepner]

doctorlexipedia​:

The moment she was alone with April in her office, Lexie knew what was coming. She knew the emotional toll this time of year had on the redhead, and she knew that she needed someone. “Grief hits us hard, whether we want it to or not. And it’s not something that every truly goes away. I know how.. how awful it is to have these feelings creep up on you but it’s.. it’s normal, you know?” She sat next to her friend, putting an arm around her to pull her closer. “You went through something all those years ago that was devastating, and it’s okay to still be hurting.”

"I know.... I know. I just think what makes it worse is how our lives fell apart after he was born," April said with tears in her eyes, her hands shaky and uneven. It had been years since Samuel had passed away, but every year at this time, all the emotions, feelings, anger, sadness, rage... all of it was brought back up. "I just shouldn't still be this bent out of shape about it. And... and I don't want to talk to Jackson because of what happened to us when this actually happened," she said quietly, resting her head against Lexie's shoulder as the redhead attempted to reign in her emotions. After a few deep breaths, she was able to stop her shaking, which was a relief in and of itself.

[trauma-kepner]

docmarksloan​:

“It’s true. Very much in love.” Mark expressed, offering the other a smile. “Just like you’re terribly in love. And lucky for us both, they somehow love us back.” Although in his opinion, it was more like Jackson was lucky that April was in love with him. April had grown a lot as a person and a surgeon throughout the time that she’d been working at Seattle Grace and he was proud of her; just as he was proud of most of the others as well. “Well, you got there eventually. Even if it took some time. And I’m glad you did. But don’t tell anyone I said that.” He joked.  

April let out a small laugh, but nodded her head nonetheless. She was lucky that Jackson loved her, but she thought that Jackson was lucky, too. When she was younger, it was hard for April to find purpose or see how she belonged in a certain situation. But now she knew how to fit in, and she knew that she brought a lot to the table. "Thanks, Dr. Sloan. And don't worry, I won't tell anybody. I don't think anyone would believe me even if I did," she teased, arching her brows slightly.

[trauma-kepner]

dr-shephcrd​:

Her eyebrows knitted together slightly, showing her genuine concern for the other woman. “I get that,” she nodded, “brains are good for that. For making sure that the past doesn’t get forgotten. Especially the things that you’d like to forget.” Sighing softly, Amelia looked at her friend, “want a distraction? If you’re not busy already, I mean. I’ve got a few post-op rounds, and you’re welcome to come with me. It’s not much, but they’re pretty entertaining people.”

April nodded her head in agreement, biting the inside of her cheek in an attempt to keep herself together. Now was not the time for her to have a breakdown. "I'm not busy," she commented with a small shrug. If she was busy, she wouldn't be here sulking. "Entertaining people?" she questioned, head perking up ever so slightly. Maybe that would be just the thing she needed to get out of this funk. "That sounds like a great plan, Amelia. I'm in."

[trauma-kepner]

montgomeryaddison​:

Addison just shook her head, “I don’t think I’m getting rid of all of these pregnant ladies anytime soon. Not unless an emergent case comes in.” She watched as other surgeons passed by then looked back to April, “If you get something good in where I can be of service, you’ll page me right?”

April laughed lightly and nodded her head. "I can do that. Even if it's not a pregnant woman," she grinned, wiggling her brows. Working in the ER had its perks; the redhead didn't typically get sought after by patients like it seemed was happening to Addison on this particular day.

[trauma-kepner]

hermionexmontgomery​:

“You really think so?” she asked when April said parents only wanted to see their children happy. She knew her mother loved her and she’s always been supportive. But all they ever talked about for plans after high school was college. Hermione even applied and got accepted into schools. She was sure the news would upset her mother. She just hoped that she wouldn’t be too disappointed where she wouldn’t be supportive in her goals.

"I mean, I can't speak for your mama, but all I want is for my children to be happy. And I want you to be happy, too," April said sincerely, resting her hand against Hermione's back in a supporting manner. While it might not be the future that Hermione's mom had imagined for her daughter, all April could do was hope that she'd have a similar mindset to what April had... and that was to be supportive of her children's goals. "And our door is always open for you if you need a place to vent, cry, crash... anything."

[trauma-kepner]

zalifitz​:

“I hope she does. I hope that by the time residency is done she’ll see that her mom is a successful surgeon and was following her dreams,” she said. If she could inspire Ayla to dream big and work hard for what she wanted, Zali would be happy. “Really? I didn’t think anyone really liked back to school shopping,” she chuckled. “I’ll keep you posted, Dr. Kepner. Thank you, so much.”

"I can't speak for her, obviously, but I think that she'll see that," April murmured, doing her best to reassure the blonde. "And you're making a better life for her and you, it'll be worth it in the end," she added with a small smile. "Well, now you've met at least one person who loves it," the trauma surgeon grinned, eyes brightening at the statement. Back to school shopping was always big in the Kepner household when she was growing up, and she did her best to continue that tradition with her own kids when they were in school.

[trauma-kepner]

docmarksloan​:

Mark laughed at April mentioning Jackson, tapping her arm slightly. “If this was twenty years ago, then yes. I would kill you with laughter if you said that. But now I’m just as lame as you are and seeing Lexie was the best part of my day.” He teased, thinking about his wife for a moment and unable to stop the smile from spreading across his face. “Man, we’re gross Kepner. We’re so gross.” He said, shaking his head and letting out a heavy sigh. “Probably both. Like let’s be honest I originally came here because I wanted to make Derek my friend again; but I kept screwing that up so I stuck around. And then I fell in love with Lex and that cemented me not going anywhere. But this is actually a really great place to be. The surgeries we get, the people we work with…why would I wanna transfer?”

April shook her head in amusement at Mark's words. She hadn't been known Mark pre-Lexie, but she knew what he was like when they broke up... and that was something that she did not want to see ever again. It was clear he was miserable without her. Still, it was entertaining to hear Mark say those words because based off how he acted around others, no one would suspect he'd say something like that. At least April didn't think he'd say something like that back in the day. "No, not gross. Just in love," she corrected with a small laugh parting from her lips. "The people here are pretty great," the redhead agreed, eyes watching as one of their fellow surgeons rushed down the hallway. "When we had to come work here, you know, during the merger, I never thought I'd like it. Never thought I'd fit it," she revealed, shoving her hands into her lab coat pockets. "I don't think I really started to fit in until Jackson... until we were attendings," she commented, stopping herself from saying that Jackson was the one who always stood up for her and made people accept her.