Since my last few personal posts, I have been quite occupied lately. I lost the urge to write on Tumblr but rather broken a few things in my life and sort of started the year horribly. ikahsimple is now brokenikah.
First thing, let’s discuss how I broke my life.
I dumped my dream of pursuing medicine - it wasn’t easy, but I felt like I had to due to the fact that the majority of my family members were involved in the medical field. The pressure was intense, to the extent of me pushing myself for something I wasn’t entirely sure about. It took time for people to accept it, especially the parentals. So now, I will be pursuing Information Technology, at least something I know I am interested in doing, though I’m still looking for a rhythm within the course itself, like where will I be in 5 years or something like that.
I got addicted to a fucking game for 6 months - Now, this is something that I admit was a stupid decision, but it helped me a lot going through the hardest moments of my life. Lately, I had the feeling of wanting to detach from it, as I’ve been so dependent on it. I didn’t get much sleep cause I’ve been looking forward to playing it 24/7. It came to the point that I wasn’t able to sleep for 48 hours straight due to it. I met a bunch of great people, and there were some that weren’t that great. I was so dependent to the extent that I neglected everything that happened in reality, as it was better to be in that game than to live in reality. I neglected my subjects, which caused me to get extended for another semester. I neglected my boyfriend, my family, my friends, my health and all of my daily activities. And as of recently, something happened within the game that hurt me enough to push me away from it. Though it’s still painful to think of detaching myself from it, to be honest. But it’s for the best. I needed that push, I need to take care of things in reality for now, especially with me changing career paths and fixing relations which I have neglected for the last 6 months.
Maybe one day, I can come back to that game and make amends. For now, it’s great timing -- my life is broken, and it needs fixing.
I broke up with my boyfriend - Well this sounds kinda sucky, but I did. After almost 4 years of being together, we parted. Not entirely parted, but more on the fact that I told him that we needed a break, which was more of the saying that we should break up for a while as I try to figure out stuff on how to break my life even more. Take note that when I did this, I was still addicted to that game, which this break up made me cling onto it even more. Yes, we do need closure, I’ll get to that in the future, but just not now. To be honest, I’m not ready. The relationship which we were in was quite difficult with a pinch of toxicity. So we parted up on the 20th of April 2019, was also the day I got something special on that game which got me through the ‘parting’ phase and straight to the ‘missing’ phase of the break-up. It’s difficult to go into more detail about those as I’m still moving on, maybe in the near future, I’ll get back to that.
So far, that’s all I could list up for now. Take this as a part 1 of me trying to tell you guys that I’m coming back to friggin Tumblr. My blog is turning 7 this October 2019. I have kept ikahsimple alive for a while, gaining about 3k followers, and just blogging about the weirdest shits about my life. Before, I barley cuss, but now cussing is like a second language. Expect more cussing from me.
Adios till Part 2!!
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