Gunnar stood ramrod straight, his trembling hands pressed together over the postcard he held close to his heart, as he waited for Summer to say something. Her confliction was evident, and he contemplated if maybe sheâd be the one to walk away this time. Maybe sheâd walk right out of his life and thatâd be it. He tried to be optimistic about the thought. For one thing, he wouldnât have to worry about coming clean about everything heâd lied about and he could go on just as heâd done before her.
âŚHe didnât want her to leave him here.
A number of deep breaths followed the realization as he gathered what he could of his composure in those moments before she turned back to him. She was upset (as if he expected her to be anything else), but she wasnât going away. Gunnar reminded himself of this fact again and again as he sorted out his words.
âTheâŚ.,â he gestured vaguely before rubbing at the back of his neck. âThe family stuff, mostly. Weâre notâŚâ His face screwed up as he searched for the perfect way to end his sentence.
Thatâs what he felt he should say.
The whole idea that he even had a family seemed vague and long gone, like some detached limb that wasn't really his anymore. But, perhaps those were musing for a different day.
ââŚclose?â He settled on eventually. âI mean, Jenny and I are. We talkâŚwell, we write each other, and sometimes we talk through, like, Skype, butâŚI donât talk to anyone else in my family. My mom hates me, you see. So does AudreyâŚApparently, Phoebeâs a big fan, but I havenât talked to her since before I left. I just hear about her through Jenny. Dunno about my dadâŚbut he always takes my momâs side, so I wouldnât want to talk to him anyway. What Iâm trying to say is that I adlibbed a lot about my family to you. Not so much anything about Jenny but about everyone else.â
He sounded like a train wreck, a million different points of interest coming together to tumble out of his mouth all at once. While he talked, his hands zoomed off in every direction as he tried to get his point across, and his eyes, wide and hopeful, eagerly searched Summer's face as he stopped to catch his breath.
She asked about Jenny's well-being.
His face fell accordingly.
âI donât know.â His jaw clenched as the tightness in his chest formed and an ugly prickle in his nose brought the beginning of tears to his eyes. He turned away. "I hope so."