i am forklift certified

part time gamer, full time enthusiast of DB Cooper enthusiasts

[trevellian]

desperately tearing into the heavily stapled Walgreens prescription bag with my backordered adderall like a feral racoon with a trash bag

[trevellian]

If you play Dead by Daylight and your gamertag is Scarlet17m or Rusty237688 it’s important to me that you know I’ve had more fun getting speeding tickets than the round I had with you. executing Leo after he crawled half the map was low & teabagging while you did it was worse

may all your games experience a random error crash at the worst times for the next 7.45 years you rat bastards

[trevellian]

i just wanna give a huge shoutout to the Krasue who knew immediately i was up to some mischief and decided to pause mid carry on Dead Dawg Saloon map to make me play a jaunty lil tune on the piano as her puppet

I’ve never laughed so hard

[trevellian]

People always say books give women unrealistic expectations and I absolutely 100% agree

I read Sigmund Brouwer’s young adult WHL mystery novels and, as a 30 year old woman who’s been going to Winterhawks games for years, those books really did give me completely unrealistic expectations about how many slap shots there are involved in scoring goals

[trevellian]

I love dead Dead by Daylight because you’ll be like a vaguely high school jock getting chased around a cornfield by actual Pyramid Head or a flying head lady who’s trying to whip you with her literal intestines and then look slightly over yonder to see Nicolas Cage high knee running faster than should be humanely possible

[trevellian]

changing my apex tag to intimidate the 30+ player base with things like [401K] or [MSRP] or [EIN] or [FICO] because nothing ruins the magic like knowing there’s another whole ass adult with a day job and a credit score in the lobby with you

[trevellian]

i fucking love the apex mode with the care package baseball bat because it literally feels like this

[trevellian]

smoked an ungodly amount of weed last night and played Death Stranding

had a lot of weird dreams last night but somehow none of them were weirder than Death Stranding itself so congrats to Kojima for beating my subconscious at it’s own sport

[trevellian]

went looking for something in the basement storage area & came across some like decently cool stuff that i have zero recollection of ever getting. so far we have:

Destiny 2 Forsaken playing cards

Four small Cayde-6 figurines I’ve never opened

A print of Cayde & his chicken (artist unknown)

Halo 4 toy set, never opened

Another Halo toy set, also unopened. It contains a regular Sangeili Elite figurine and then one made of clear plastic.

An Overwatch keychain

A Kingdom Hearts pin

A 3D replica of Destiny’s iconic pistol, Thorn

Xbox 360 copies of Halo Reach and Halo 3: ODST. Both presumably still playable. I’ve never owned a 360

A DVD copy of Halo: Forward Unto Dawn

Not pictured: my steel energy sword replica or the original release physical copies of OG Titanfall & base game OG Destiny because I know where those came from

[trevellian]

Apex Wildcard Mode™️ is appropriately named because being in a squad where everyone’s playing Sparrow and a squad where everyone’s Newcastle is two different kinds of hell. I was completely unprepared for both

[trevellian]

The Plague is my favorite killer to play because she’s this extremely cool looking Babylonian zombie priestess thing and then her powers are just throwing up on everything and also hitting people with an ancient scent diffuser. and that’s it.

survivors probably load into a game with me and are like “is the killer the chainsaw guy? the creepy lullaby axe thrower? Ghostface himself?” and then they see all the water fountains and go “nope, it’s the fuckin barf lady this round”

[dogspouse]

there are people with genders you will never comprehend and people fucking in ways you will never understand and people making art you just don't get and that shit RULES

[amerykah]

ADHD is so funny it's like I diagnose you with lazy inconsiderate fuckup disease. And it's incurable. Here's meth

[trevellian]

absolutely diabolical for horizon forbidden west to put this between me & the quen top aloy’s supposed to meet on a beach. like of course im going to start this fight