hey it's me :•)

beautiful banner by kelly pringle

[threedollarsdotcom]

breaking news: the lands most courageous knight has started responding to kissy noises from its lord

[probuccalfat]

nobody else doing it like me. particularly because the way i’m doing it is needlessly difficult

[northirish]

The village folk are singing mean-spirited songs about me around the maypole again

[wingkink]

btw it's so fucking stupid you can be anxious physically in your body even after you've decided mentally you don't care. I'm supposed to be in charge here

[mrsandman42069]

gender affirming peg leg and hook hand

[artemisthepigeon]

I aim to one day be as cunty as Mathew Baynton in the Dick Turpin Song from Horrible Histories

[commanderchrist-deactivated2017]

Fuck small talk.  Let’s talk about how your day was, the weather, or the big game last night.

[ceruleanheaven]

[looking at people younger than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at people older than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at myself] its over

[tredlocity]

red dead and beyond

[tredlocity]

bed bath redemption

[orcboxer]

you shoulda seen the size of those rooms, man, it was like, floor to ceiling

[oysters-aint-for-me]

taking my jestosterone bc i’m a fool

[narcissistcookbook]

sofas are not for sitting on idiot. you fool. you worm. they're for piling Items (Things, Objects, Miscellania) on and beholding it with sadness and saying 'i wish i could sit down'

[justsomeguycore]

maybe i will performatively go to the farmers market and performatively buy some flowers to performatively let stick out my performative tote bag and performatively have a nice time

[reallyreallyreallytrying]

(guy who doesn't really know how software updates work) i hope they keep the keyboard letters in the same order. i was just getting used to them

[ur-favorite-fishgirl]

sex is a distraction from your true purpose in life which is to go to the aquarium and look at the fish and go "wooooooaaah.... fishies". cmon guys we all need to lock in.

[haaarpb]

🤲

[loveridden1999]

top 3 hobbies for young adults:

1. borrowing misery from future

2. carrying grief of the past

3. agonizing over the present